Millie Becomes a Mummycat!

Hihihihi friends! Sorry I haven't writed in ages, but I's been too busy with getting fat and stuffs, and anyway, my human's been working so hard for us when she comes home that she doesn't really have much time to sit down and writed for us. But this is such an important thing that happened to me that I gotta tell!

Well, you know that I went to stay with a mancat, right? A couple of weeks after that, I noticed that my girlcat yummy tummy was disappearing andI was getting as fatt as boring old mummycat! I didn't like it and I tried to stop eating so much yummy foods, but I couldn't help it. I was soooooooo hungry all the time! And my human kept giving me stinky kissies and telling me this was great and wasn't I clever and all and it was just yucky cuz she always tries to kiss my yummy tummy, and I didn't wanted any somebodies to see it when it was so yucky and fat!

And then, a couple weeks later, I was asleep minding my own business when something kicked me in the tummy!... From the inside! I jumped up with a biiiiiig miaaaaaaaoooooow! And then I runned to the human acuz I was a bit ascared. But she said it was Ok and it was just the babycats. Babycats? What babycats! I didn't have no babycats in my yummy tummy! I didn't! I didn't putted them there so they couldn't be there, and I didn't eated any for lunch neither!

Soon I feeled lotsa and lotsa little kicks and I didn't like it. So I cried at the human until she rubbed my big fat tummy acuz then the kicky things that aren't babycats would stop kicking me and go to sleep.

But then yesterday, I gotted to feeling all funny. And I don't know why, but I felt the urge to go look for quiet, dark, small places and then dig. And I did that and my human taked me away and she, well friends, she taked my temperature! How horrible is that! She actually stuck that thing where it had no business being! But I'm a good girlcat so I letted her. And then she said, "Uh-oh, Millie, looks like today's the day. Hope you slept well last night!" I didn't know what she was talking about, so I just carried on digging.

And then she pulled me out from behind the sofa and cuddled me on her knee, and then, friends, the strangest thing happened. My big fat tummy took on a life of its own, and it squeezed! It was a big one and
I didn't know what to do, so I hided my face in the human's arm. And then another one came! And then another one! And this went on for ages, and the human called Dogman back from his nephew's christening,
but when he camed in, I decided that whatever was going on, I'd stop it cuz for some reason, although I love him, I didn't want him there. So I maked my tummy stop squeezing until the human sayed a lot of
sorries to Dogman and asked him to hide out in the bedroom.

But soon, my tummy was squeezing so hard that I knew I needed to push. And I pushed and pushed and pushed so, so hard and it was so tiring. And I keeped pushing for what felt like forever, and it was really
hurting me and I didn't like it, so I taked the human's arm in my paws and I pulled it in real close to my face and I held on and hided my face against her. and I pushed some more.

After a while, she sayed "Well, Mill, that's that then. There's nothing coming." And she phoned the vet lady people who was having a weekend off but who camed specially to the house just to see me. And
the human held onto my head real tight and the vet ladypeople put her finger, well, I can't even say where! She said she was checking to see if I was dilated, but holy Cod it hurted a lot! I screamed and screamed and screamed and tried to bite the human and the vet ladypeople and then I screamed some more. And the human's eyes were leaking right off the end of her nose, and even the vet ladypeople was sad and gived me a cuddle. And then she telled the human that I wasn't dilated and that I would need a section. I didn't know what that was, so I just carried on doing my best to push.

And then the vet ladypeople putted me in a PTU with a nice soft bed in the bottom, and she taked me away from my human! I wasn't like my mummycat. I didn't cry as I left, mostly acuz I was still too busy pushing to take any notice. And then we went to the horrible vet place and we waited a while till the other vet lady people arrived. And the nasty vet lady people who hurted me is really quite nice and she cuddled me and telled me what a good girl I was for pushing while we waited. And then... And then it all went dark.

Next thing I know, I'm awake, but it's so, soooo cold! I'm shivering and shivering despite being on a nice, warm, heated blanket. But it's just so cold! A lot of my tummy furrs had been stolen too! And I had a big pain in my tummy too.

And then something sayed "eeeeea!" And I jumped up and looked everywhere. And there was things in the cage with me! Teeny, tiny things that sayed "eeeeea!" and squiggled around all over each other. And I feeled real sorry for them, cuz if I was cold and I was a big girlcat, they musta been freezing! And so I pulled them all in close to me and I gave them a bath to clean off the horrible vet stink and warm them up a bit. And then, friends, then one of them got hold of my nimple and started to drink milk! And suddenly I understood. I knew now all about what mummycat had told me about babycats was true. I knew that these were my babycats and that they needed me. I still didn't know how they gotted here, but that didn't matter. They were
here and that was all there was to it.

So I pulled them all up against my tummy and didn't even say weeeeow when they climbed all over my hurty bits while they tried to find a nimple.

And then the vet ladypeople came and taked one of them away from me acuz he was limp and not moving and very, very cold. And I cried for him, but she just cuddled my head and tole me not to worry. She taked
him away and worked on him and feeded him some milk and he drinked it. But when she put him back with me, he still wasn't moving, wasn't searching for a nimple like the others were. He just lay there.

And thenshe put usall back in the horrible PTU and she taked us home to my human. And she sayed to her that the little boy probly wouldn't make it through the night. But my human doesn't give up. After all, she saved my brother Paws last year!

I settled down with my babycats after giving the human lotsa and lotsa head bumpies and loves, and I didn't even cry when she taked my small boy away. And he was real cold again, not lifting his head and she says he was hardly even breathing. So she held him in her hands for a long time and just breathed on him to warm him slowly. Then she taked him to the radiator and held him above the warm air and then she rubbed him hard all over and keeped rubbing and rubbing and rubbing. And every time he tried to lift his head, she whisked him in against my tummy and to a nimple, but he was still too weak to hold on. But she keeped working with him, forcing him to wiggle and squiggle and put his head up probly just to get away from the rubbing! But she knows that that's what mummycats do with a very weak babycat. I didn't though, cuz I've never been a mummycat before. And after a long, long while, he gotted must stronger, so she putted him in with me onto another heat pad and put him right against my tummy and he started squeaking and searching for a nimple! And then everybody went quiet.

She gotted up loads to check us during the night, specially light red boy who was the weak one, but he was still here this morning and is still moving around! She's just about to weigh them all again, but so that you know, here's their birth weights.

• Apache (dogman's name acuz she has a patch over one eye (she's a tortie) and the human sayed when she picked her up "is that a patchy one?" and it stuck: 86 grams. She's the smallest!
• Stripe, another tortie with a stripe down her nose: 92 grams.
• Light red boy: 92 grams, so he's not the smallest!
• Grey boy (he'll either turn out to be a light cream boy or a bluecream girl, so watch this space), 97 grams.
• Dark red boy, the fatty, 107 grams!

They're all such good weights, and 5 is a lot for a first time mummycat too!

My tummy still hurts, friends, but I've been such a good mummycat all night, sept for when I sit on them by accident and my human hasta rescue them when they squeal. And I love them so, so much!

Introducing Gabby!

Hi all you strange things! Guess what? I think I gotted a name for you now! My friend Millie and my friend Tia telled me that you were somebodypeoples. I don't know what a somebodypeoples is, but that's what you're all called now. I hope that's Ok!

I's been at the strange house now forever and for a real long time. But things are good now acuz I don't gotta stay in the pen any more and I gotted to come out and play with the big cats and chew on wires and run all over the sofa and bite the strange lady that they call the human and eat lotsa and lotsa foods and weewee in the strange lady's bed and hide behind the TV so's she can't get me out. And it's sooooooooo much fun!

When I first camed out nobody liked me. And big scary Milliecat sayed sssss all the time but she played chaseys with me all over the place! And the big scary Tiacat sayed rrrrrow and -pffff acuz she can't say
sssss proply and she sayed reeeeow too in a real loud voice when I jumped on her and tried to bite her on the nose. But I was only playing! And the strange lady human didn't even telled them off even though they was being real, real nasty to me acuz she sayed that I gotta learn some manners and that it's rude to try and bite othercats noses and chew their whiskers and smack them lotsa and lotsa in the face even if I am only playing!

And for a long time, the othercats eated all my yummy food so's I hadda keep going and asking the strange lady human for more and more. And she sayed that I was eating like a little piggy but I don't know what a little piggy is so I don't know how they eated things. And she sayed that I was getting a nice fat tummy and I sayed hush strange lady human and gimme more foods!

And she sayed that I'm a scruff all acuz when I eat I mash all of my face into the bowl so's I can eat real, real fast and so's nobdy else can have any. And so what if foods goes up my nose or in my eyes acuz she cleans it all out again! And then I get down real, real low so's my ruff and my chin and evrything's all in the foods bowl and then she sayed that it makes me scraggy at the front and I need lotsa and lotsa cleaning all the time!

And I'm not snotty no more. But I don't say prrrr no more neither. I like to sleep on the strange lady human's knee, but when she rubs me, I just carry on sleepin or get up and walk away. She sayed that she hopes I growed outta that and that Milliecat did the same thing when she was my age and that I'd learn to say prrrr again hopefully. I say that if she keeps doing horrid things to me like brushing my fat tummy or pulling me out from behind the TV when I'm having a great time chewing all the wires and pulling everything down that I'm never gonna prrrr for her ever again!

And I sometimes sleep with the strange lady human at night and I sometimes don't. And now all the othercats like me. And me and Milliecat play chaseys all the time now and we runrunrunrun real fast evrywhere and we have a coooool time! And me and Tiacat snuggle close by each other now and she only smacks me if I try to smack her in the face or bite her nose or something, else she likes me well enough and even sometimes cleans me but never when the strange lady human can see. And Milliecat and Tiacat like each other better now acuz Tiacat gets peace acuz me and Milliecat do all the playing and then we can all come back to Tiacat when we're tired and ready for snuggling. But Milliecat's getting awful, awful fat. Whenever she sits down now her tummy looks real, real big and she doesn't like it if I jump on it no more and she'll smack me if I do it and that's not nice! And Tiacat's walking around again shouting and she keeps sticking her bumbum up in
the air and she's weird! But she's good fun acuz then I get to attack her tail but she doesn't like it much but I don't care!

But the most bestest bit yet is that I gotted my very own name! The strange lady human and the somebodypeoples that the others call Dogman thinked real, real hard for a long time and then the strange lady human decided that I should get Gabby as my very own name acuz I'm Gobby Gabby. I dunno why she sayed that acuz now I only say tiny, teeny meows, but she says it's on accounta the racket I maked when I
first gotted here, so she knows I can be gobby when I wanna be.

So, I'm Gabby. Does any of you somebodypeoples like that?

What's in a Name?

Hi to all you things. Sorry, but I don't know no name for you yet acuz I didn't meet you yet and I's real small so i don't know nothin much. But the big other cat that looks like a mummycat sayed to me that i had to miaow stuffs at the strange lady thing and tell all bout my day yesterday and when I met the strange lady.

It all started a long, long time before when the nice lady that I know real well picked me up and my brother Oso, and she put us in a box and then she made the box move. And lotsa noises gotted made and we were in there for a long, long time. And I was a real good girl, least i think I was cuz I did a weewee in the litter tray and then my brother copied me. But then we both decided we was gonna snuggle together in the litter tray acuz it was nicer than the floor of the box and my lady didn't like that very much acuz she sayed we needed to stay lovely and clean for the new people. I don't know what a the new people is, so I stayed where I was.

Then the box stopped moving and the noises stopped getting made and then my lady took my brother Oso out. I waited for a long, long time for him to come back, but I gotted tired, acuz it's hard to stay awake when there's nothing to do essept listen to my lady and some other ladies and mans making their miaow noises. And when I woked up again, it was acuz my lady was taking me out of the box, and then she gived me to the strange lady that I'm with now, and the strange lady gived me lotsa and lotsa cuddles. And I gived her lotsa kissies even though I had bited a little on another strange lady who was the strange lady's friend. And that maded her happy acuz I showed that I loved her already. But she put her big fingers in my mouth and felt my teefies and I didn't like that much so I keeped moving my head away and it made it very hard for her to check. But when she was done, she miaowed to my lady for a long time, and like I sayed, it's hard to stay awake when you're just a tiny babycat, so I snuggled down and I went to sleep. And that made my lady happy and sad, and the strange lady happy.

And then when I woked up again, it was acuz the strange lady was putting me into another box. And this one was big and lonely cuz I was especting my brother Oso to be there but he wasn't. But my favrit blanket from home was there and it smelled good, so I went back to sleep again.

And then the box was moving again and there  was more noises being made and I gotted frighted acuz I'm only a tiny babycat and I'm in a strange box and my brother Oso hasn't camed back yet and I'm lonely and I miss him and I want him back and I want my lady and I want my own box and I want my mummycat. And then when I started to cry, the strange lady tooked me out and she miaowed lotsa things to me and she snuggled me up in a big warm thing called a sweater and she rubbed me all over and it was nice so I went asleep again acuz I was tired.

And I sleeped for a real long time acuz the box was moving and the noises were making for a very long time. But I was such a good girl and sat nice with the strange lady. And I only tried to bite her fingers just a little bit! And she sayed that I wasn't sposed to do that even when I was playing, but she sayed that it was Ok for today acuz we were just getting to know each other.

And then the box stopped moving, but there was lotsa new noises making and  I was ascared again and I really really needed a weewee and there was no litter tray. And I started to cry, and then the strange lady tooked me out of the box again and put me in a much bigger one that she keeps calling a Pen. And there was a litter tray in there. And I'm such a good girl acuz I smelled for the litter that the strange lady had bringed from my home, and then I went into the box and I did lotsa and lotsa weewees. And then when I camed out again, the strange lady gaved me some of the nicest food ever! She sayed that I could eat as much as I liked acuz I was so small and she wanted me big and with a nice fat tummy. And so I eated lotsa and lotsa this chicken food, and I even put my feets in the bowl so that I could hold it nice and still and I could eat every last bit. And then I used my water like a big stomping puddle and I had sooooo much fun splashing it everywhere! And then I rolled in my nice dry blanket. And the strange lady said to a strange man that was in the new place too that she'd forgetted how little kittens are all hooligans at heart! And then she dried me up and she sayed that I could wreck the pen as much as I wanted as long as I was having a good time.

But I cried and cried and cried whenever she put me back in acuz I gotted lonely again and I'm only a teeny babycat. And she keeped taking me out for cuddles, and all I wanted to do was to stay on her knee and sleep. But then I wanted to esplore and she sayed no not yet acuz she wanted to give everybody else time to meet me. And then I noticed that there was some more real big cats in the house, as big as my mummycat! And one of them really liked me, and the other one climbed on top of the pen and sayed grrrrrr and sssssss until the strange lady camed and tooked her off and sayed "Millie! Be nice!" But this Millie cat just went round the back of the pen an dshe poked her face under the blanket covering it and she sayed sssss in a really loud voice and I got ascared so I went to the other end of the pen and I cried. And then the strange lady tooked both of the other cats outta the room and she ttolded them that if they couldn't be nice, then nobody gotted to stay in there while she went to bed. And she sayed sorry to Tia, acuz she couldn't let her in there and not Millie acuz Millie would just follow her in, so both had to stay out. But then I was lefted on my own for a long, long time. And I cried and cried and cried even though the strange lady had give dme her shirt to cuddle in so that I didn't feel lonely. And sometimes the lady came and cuddled me, and sometimes she didn't acuz she sayed she was asleep. But one of those times that she did come, I sat on her knee and when she was cuddling me, I sayed prrrrrrr, and she really liked it acuz I started to do pushy paws too like I do to my mummycat to get the milk. And she sayed it was really nice. And I gived her some more kissies and then she gived me some more yummy gooshy food that I eated all of. And my tummy was full so I sleeped for a little while then. And then the next time I cried, the strange lady went into the strange man's room and telled the strange man that it was his turn to cuddle me. And the strange man sayed, "I stay here at weekends for a rest, lady, not so that you can put me to work!" But she knows he's soft with all of the furries, and he went anyway. And he's a real good cuddler acuz he letted me out for a run around in the room on my own and he played with me and showed me all the bestest toys. And my human telled him he couldn't do that yet acuz I'm a wee bit snotty and she doesn't want anyone else to catch it so I went back in and I cried and cried until they gived me my favourite toy from outside. And it's a ball in a track and there's another ball in the top and there's a springy mousie right on the top, and it's the bestest toy ever!

But then I gotted tired again and I asked to come out and sit on the strange lady's knee. And I was a good girl and went right to sleep. And then I gotted real sleepy and the strange lady tooked out a brush acuz I got so much floof that I knot up real quick and she wanted to keep me looking my bestest. And she brushed me and combed me all over and I sayed prrrrrrrr lotsa and lotsa acuz I really liked it. And I liked it so much that I went asleep. But I woked up when the strange lady started kissing my belly. She's strange! And now I'm telling you all this.

I don't have a name yet acuz the strange lady sayed that she wants to get to know me first before she gives me one. But she calls me little munster and she calls me hooligan when I go stomping in my water or when I stick my whole face in my food or when I roll around in the cool litter tray. That's Ok, isn't it?

But now I'm tired again and I think I'll sleep some more. I'm not so snotty today, and I'm workin real hard on not sneezing no more, so maybe I'll get to come out later on and play with the new toys and maybe even the other cats. The big one, Tia I think her name is, talks to me just like my mummycat did. And it maked the human happy and a bit sad to see her doing the mummycat talk again, happy acuz it means that Tia will love me for a little while instead of beating me up, and will give me comfort while I'm missing my mummycat, sad acuz she doesn't like Millie like that any more. I can't blame her about that. Millie scares me! I wouldn't talk to her like a mummycat talks to a kitten either!

Anyway, I gotta go to sleep now. Can any of you things that I don't know a name for yet think of a name for me? And maybe I can think of a name for you at the same time too!

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From Girlcat to Ladycat

Hihihihihihi all my somebody friends! It's me! And guess what? I'm not
sick any more! But I don't think I'm a girlcat any more neither. Let
me tell you all about it.

So, on the day after I last writed, my human went to work like normal
and left me for a million years! Whenever she came back, she went and
got the stinky PTU from where she hides it, and then she put a nice
soft blanket in the bottom and then she put a nice soft me in on top!
And I said weeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooooooow! Just like that! And she
taked me outside to the big growly monster called car. And we got
inside Car with another ladypeople who I get to give a name to! See? I
must be a ladycat now cuz before it was only mummycat who gave names
to somebodies, and she's a ladycat and now it's my turn and so maybe
I'm a ladycat!
But anyway, I think I'm gonna call this lady somebody Showgirl cuz I always see her when we're going to a show. She's real nice. She calls me "Hello Milliecat!" and I like it. So she drived us way, way far away, at least a whole 10 minutes! And then we got to another house, and when we went inside I gotted real ascared cuz I could smell lotsa other cats and they weren't my mummycat. So I hided right at the back of the stinky PTU and I hided my face under my blanket. But then another lady somebody came and she talked to me and she said "Are you hidin, scaredycat?" And even though I knowed she said it with a smileyface cuz her voice was smiley, I ain't no scaredycat! So I popped out my face and I said "Weeeeowwww!" just like that! And she made the laugh noise. And then they sat and talked so's I could feel more comfy with the new smells. But then the lady somebody taked me away from my human and Showgirl and she put me in a new place. And half of it was outside where my human said I was never allowed to go on my own, but it was Ok, cuz it had walls and stuff and so it wasn't really outside even though it was!

And there was a stinky mancat in there! My human says he was beautiful, but he really was stinky! And I said hello to him and he said hello to me and he kept sniffing me a lot and following me wherever I went.

I didn't notice when my human went home, and even though I missed her, I didn't cry cuz only babycats cry and I'm not a babycat! I made real good friends with the stinky mancat, and we played together and ate
together and we even cuddled! But that wasn't good enough for the people somebody, cuz she said, "Ah, not again. You always want them to love you before you do the deed, and we haven't got time for you to
mess around again! This poor girl needs to be mated!" I didn't know what she was talking about, but she taked me away from my new stinky friend and said something about letting me meet a mancat that was more
experienced and would get the job done.

I did meet another mancat. This one was old, but he wasn't boring like my old, fat mummycat! He was real, real interested in me. He followed me that close that I hadda say sssssss to him, and I even said grrrrrrr! I know that's not good manners, but my mummycat swears at the mancats too when they get too pushy, so I was only copying her!

Now that I'm sorta a ladycat, I can say that I won't talk about what happened over the next 2 days, cuz a ladycat doesn't talk about things like that. But, all you somebodies, we did what we needed to do. I gotta say, the cure for my sick was kinda nice! And mummycat was right when she said I'd enjoy myself!

On Monday, Showgirl camed back with the horrible PTU and she taked me home. I gived my new mancat friend a little kissie byebye, and then went back in Car and home to see mummycat. Sept that mummycat was even grumpier than usual! She said sssss and rrrrrrrrr lots to me and she even tried to give me smackypaw! She said I stinked like a stinky mancat! But my mancat friend wasn't stinky! This went on all night even when my human gotted back from her day hunting place. She kept telling mummycat to be nice, but mummycat never listens. So yesterday, my human said "Right, girls, that's enough of this. You've asked for it!" And then she taked mummycat into the bathroom and cleaned her with lotsa water. And then she did it to me too so's we'd both smell the same. And ever since then mummycat has just been her normal grumpy. But I don't care, cuz I got the best spot to sleep up by the human's head last night, so nya to you, mummycat!

And that's all about my adventure. My human says that I shouldn't get sick now for a very long time, or at least, I'd better not get sick. Then she laughed. Crazy human!

Smoochies

Millie

Boycats and Mancats and Sisters, Oh My!

Friends, I haven't writed in ages and ages and ages and forever! That stupid human says that I'm not allowed on the puter desk cuz last time I was up there I runned all over the keyboard thingy and sent lotsa messages to all her friends on something called messenger. And none of her stinky friends liked me all that much, cuz they all complained! So now i don't get to go up there any more, so I can only talk to you all when she's here and will do it for me. My human says that this is my last night as a babycat, but I don't know what she's talking about, cuz I'm not a babycat anyway. I'm a girlcat, and everybody somebody knows that you get to be a girlcat till your first birthday and then you might get to call yourself a ladycat. But I don't never wanna be a ladycat cuz they're all fat and grumpy and booooooooring like my mummycat! Set the nice ones, of course. She says that you don't get to be a babycat or a girlcat any more after you've been to stay at the house of a boycat. But boycats are big and stinky and, well, interesting! I'm sick again, all my friends. This is the fifth time it's happened now, and my human says that the only way to get over the illness is to go and spend some time with a very nice mancat. She says he'll help me get better, but everybody somebody knows that mancats are stinkier than boycats! I like mancats while I'm sick though, so perhaps it won't be too bad. My mummycat whispered in my ear that I was off to have a good time, cuz I'd be going to spend time with the mancat that she went to see. She says he's lovely and he'll be nice to me and I'll enjoy it... Then she laughed behind her paw. But I don't know, all my friends. I've never been to a mancat's house before. Will he have comfy beds to lie in? My mummycat says yes, but that I'll have to share with him. Then she laughed again. But I'm not stupid, and I know that if you share a bed with another cat somebody, the cat somebody will bop you on the head and give you smackypaw and bunnykick you till you get out. My mummycat taught me that one, so I dunno why she's telling porkies about me having to share with him!

My human keeps cuddling me and telling me not to worry, and she keeps saying that next year we'll have our own mancat house and I won't have to go away to stay in a mancat house and she'll like it better cuz she can still see me every day and I'll like it better cuz i won't have to go away. All my friends, I don't wanna go away all that much cuz I'll miss my human, and even my mummycat! But mummycat says that once the nice mancat has been nice to me, then I can come home again straight away. So I've decided that I'm gonna be extra nice to him! My human says I can take a blanket with me so that we can snuggle in something that smells like home, and i can even have a toy if I want one. My human's good!

And she says that when I get back, it will only be a few more days till my new little sister gets here! She's coming to live with us on the 15th, and I'm so essited! I've picked out toys for her already and I've been practicing my chasey chasey game so's we can play together real good! My human says I gotta be real, real nice to her cuz she's only a teeny weeny babycat and she's gonna miss her mummycat when she gets here. I say she can have my mummycat if she wants her, cuz then I won't get bunnykicked or smackypawed any more. It's not my fault if I still wanna be real good friends with her. She's my mummycat after all!

My human says you can have pictures of our new sister from when she was 11 weeks old. Hope you like her as much as I do!

Big smoochies to you all, even the stinky boycats and mancats! I'm sick, remember?

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Millie Grows Up and Some Big News!

Hihihihihihihi! It's been forever since I writed last on here to you all. Hope you haven't missed me too much!

You might not even recognise me any more cuz I've growed so much and I can say big words now and everything, but I promise you it's still me! And I still love you all and I'm still your friend!

Hey, there's lots going on here that my human says I can tell you all about. And I have some really, reallllllly exciting news that I'll tell you at the end so's you'll keep reading and not run away while I'm writing stuffs to you somebodies.

But first, can you somebodies tell me if I'm sick? I think I must be. There's been two whole times now where I've feeled real, real weird. I don't know why I'm doing it, but I feel like I gotta walk around the house and lay on the floor with my bumbum up in the air. Sorry, I know that's rude, but mummycat says it's Ok to say bumbum now! And when I have my bumbum in the air, then it feels good to hold my tail over to one side. And then I know I gotta shout and shout till the human somebody comes and scratches my tail for me cuz that feels good and then I go quiet. But, you somebodies, the thing that worries me the mostest is that I think my brain is sick. Why? Cuz every time I'm lying on the floor with my bumbum in the air, I can't help thinking
about stinky mancats! And suddenly they aren't as stinky any more! My sick brain tells me that it would be fun to go be friends with some stinky mancats, but that's stupid, cuz every girlcat knows that all mancats and boycats are stinky, even the nice ones like Scoutey and all the other mancats that live with the Katnips!

Is there any cure for my condition? Do I gotta go see the horrible vet lady person somebody who sticked a big, biiiiiig needle in my neck when I was a tiny babycat? I don't wanna go, but I think I might need to!

I don't know why my human somebody isn't worried either, cuz usually she worries like crazypants if I get sick or if mummycat gets sick. But maybe she's sick too, cuz she got all excited whenever I started putting my bumbum up and telling her all about it. She doesn't know that there's something wrong with me, even though I telled her and telled her and telled her! In fact, I telled her so much that my human somebody says I didn't shut up for the whole 5 days that I was calling. I don't know what calling is, but I wasn't. I was sick! Silly human somebody!

Thankfully, this sick thingy goes away after a bit, but it always comes back! My human somebody says please could I work on toning down the constant chirping and talking to her all the time, even in the night, but I say I'll do that whenever she fixes my sick head! So, you somebody friends, can any of you somebodies tell me what's going on, and what the cure for it is? I don't want to be sick enough to think that stinky mancats might be nice!

Right, now the real, real exciting bit. Our big news! My human somebody's been on the talky telephone thingy lots and lots over the last couple of days, and she's been getting real, real excited, but she didn't tell me why until yesterday when she said, "Well, Millie, that's it done and dusted. She'll be coming in 5 weeks!" I was a bit confused, so I asked her to splain herself to me. Well, get this! Somebodies, I will be getting a new little sistercat in 5 weeks! I don't know how long 5 weeks is, but the human somebody said it wasn't tomorrow, so it's gonna be forever before she gets here! And I can't wait! She's coming from Scot Land which my human says is real far away. Doesn't Scot live with the Katnips? Hey, is my new babycat sistercat coming from the Katnips? My human says there's another Scot Land, but I wanna be sure!

My sistercat is 7 weeks old now, and she's the same colour as my mummycat, a seal tortie point. The human says that her ladypeople says she's the boss and the leader of her gang of brothers and sisters, but we'll just see about that when she gets here! She'll be smaller than me anyway, so I'll be boss sistercat first! Sept that mummycat is the boss of me, so maybe she'll win. Oh, oh, oh, I can't wait! And neither can the human somebody! The human says she's from really nice bloodlines whatever that means, but I don't care. I need a sistercat to play with and to boss and to cuddle up with, cuz mummycat doesn't like to cuddle with me cuz she says I have no manners and jump on her head and attack her ears and her whiskers when she's trying to sleep. Well, she shouldn't have ears and whiskers then!

Lotsa smoochies to you all, somebody friends!

Millie

Tia's gotcha day!

Wow, friends, it's my gotcha day! I find it hard to believe that it's
two years ago today that my human came and found me in my last home.
Do you know that she wasn't even convinced she wanted a Persian when
she came to see me?

It was all down to Bug sweet talking her into coming, so I owe him a
lot of smoochies! She wanted a short haired cat (the nerve!), but her
and Bug were taking a trip to this far, far away place to introduce
Bug to some friends of hers. They were looking at cats on the internet
for ages, and then they came across an advert for Persians for sale in
the place they were going to. Although the human thought it was
pointless going, Bug convinced her with the idea that even if she
didn't find her perfect cat (don't be too hard on her, she didn't know
me back then), she'd get lots of free cat cuddles. My human's not hard
to convince, so off they went.>

I didn't hear the human come into my last house, cuz I was kept in a
room right at the top of the house and the old slave's yappy little
dogs were screaming cuz they heard a new people and wanted to see. But
when everything was quiet, the slave came and got me and brought me
downstairs.

I liked the look of them straight away, and went to sit on Bug's lap
while my human cuddled one of the younger kittens. While she was busy
trying to make the kitten not scared, I was cosying up to Bug. Ok, I
mighta slapped him once, but he deserved it! He was rubbing the yummy
tummy without permission! Bug doesn't mind cats smacking him anyway,
cuz when he was helping the human pick out her new cat, he
deliberately pushed all the cats he met so that he would provoke us a
little and could look at how we reacted to being annoyed. The human
was very frightened of teeth and claws, so it was important that the
cat she had would be nice to her.

Well, I didn't draw blood, and Bug obviously liked my tortitude, cuz
he took the little kitten from the human and I got to cuddle her
instead! I let her rub the yummy tummy, and although I held onto her,
I did it with my claws in. I knew she was the one for me, even if she
didn't know it yet.

After a little while, Bug and the human went away. I was confused.
They'd left me behind, and they'd even said the horrible BATH word.
Were they going to punish me? But I'd done nothing wrong! And I so
wanted to go home with them!

I went back to my room, sad that I hadn't been able to convince them
that the human was the one for me. What I didn't know was that the
human and Bug went back to their hotel, and she agonised all night
about whether or not to take me. She said stupid things like, "But
she's a long-hair," and, "But she slapped you," and, "But I don't even
have a carrier with me. I wasn't expecting to take one home, and I
don't have time to buy one. We're leaving tomorrow!" All Bug had to do
was convince her, and he did it very, very well. He used lotsa words,
but all he said in the end as he laughed at her was, "Look, you stupid
woman, forget the hair. She's everything you're looking for!
Handleable, cuddly, polite, gentle, and she gets on with other cats!
Just phone the lady and have done already or I'll do it for you."
Goooooooo Bug! He should have his own cheer leader team for that
moment alone!

After about eleventy-zilion more "what if's", she finally admitted
that Bug was right and that she was being stupid. Well, there's a
surprise!

I heard the phone ring, and pricked up my ears. Was it her? Next thing
I know, the last slave has grabbed me and is bathing me to get rid of
all the other cat smells. I complained, but she didn't listen.
Instead, she stuffed me into a horrible PTU, put me in a horrible car,
and drove for ages.

I was scared out of my whits! I wasn't used to travelling back then,
and the only time I'd seen a car was when they took me to the horrible
VET. I cuddled at the back of my PTU and tried to disappear. After a
hundred years, we got to a house and the old slave took my PTU inside.
There was my human!

If I hadn't been so scared, I would have been glad, but it was all a
bit much for me, and I just hid. I don't mind admitting that now, but
I haven't been scared since, oh no!

Suddenly, I wasn't so sure that this was a good idea, especially as my
old slave was walking away. I didn't cry, but I looked after her and
asked her to take me back home to my mummycat and my friends that I
lived with, but she didn't listen. She just left.

My human and Bug made nice talk noise to me through the front of the
PTU, but I just hid. Then we drove some more, and they then took me on
a big, loud, growly monster called Train. When it pulled into the
station, I was so scared that I almost peed my fluffy pants! But when
we were on there, it wasn't so bad.

It was during that long journey that I started to remember that I'd
made the right choice. Instead of ignoring me, my human and then Bug
took me out of the PTU for cuddles. The human made a place so that I
could hide my head under her arm when I was scared. Then, in the dark,
I could pretend I wasn't in the tummy of a big growly monster, and I
could just enjoy the lovin.

We had to change to another growly monster called train, and in the
station, I got so frightened that I started to jump around inside my
PTU. I jumpws so hard that the bottom gave and the door almost fell
out. My human said she almost cried then, cuz I was in pure panic
mode. She's never seen me like that again, and she says she hopes she
never will, cuz it broke her heart to see me like that.

After ages, we got to a new house that smelled of another cat and of
different smells, and of the human. I got taken to a quiet little warm
room and then the PTU was opened, but I didn't want to come out. That
was Ok though. The human just left me be to explore on my own and get
used to things.

Ever since that day, I have loved my human, and Bug, cuz he's part of
the reason I'm here, after all. I've come such a long way in the last
few years. When I arrived, I was so scared that I'd run from my own
shadow. I would hide a lot, and wouldn't say hello to visitors. Now, I
happily travel in the tummy of the big growly monster called train,
and even ask to come out of my PTU and go on a harness so that I can
sit on the human's knee and say hello to peoples. I complain all the
way in the car instead of staying like a quiet little mouse, and,
although I'm still really frightened of fast moving feet and sudden
noises, I don't hide for hours any more. I'm content that my human
loves me despite all my quirks. She says she loves me more because of
them, and I think I even believe her!

I celebrated the lead up to my gotcha day by being whisked off to a
fancy hotel to be milk and tunaed by a very handsome mancat. The
weather wasn't great, but we spent four very happy days together
despite the rain and thunder. In fact, it was kinda cosy being inside
and listening to the wind howling outside. Of course, we had to cuddle
up together for warmth, and, well, one thing led to another and...
Well, he really is a very nice mancat! My human came to get me when
I'd decided that I really couldn't stay on holiday any longer as I had
responsibilities at home, you know, a human and the baby to look
after. All that, erm, holidaying, tired me out though, and I slept
hard all the next day! I came home on Tuesday, and my human is amazed
at the change in my temperament. I'm much more cuddly than normal, and
love to sleep on her or on the sofa behind her head. She says this is
unusual cuz I haven't been like that for over a year now. Really
though, I'm just sucking up to her so she'll give me lots of tuna.

Mind you, that being said, I feel much more mellow than usual. Mancats
seem to have that effect on me. Or perhaps, just perhaps, it's the
things growing in my yummy tummy that make me feel so good...

Yep, can't think of a better way to celebrate my gotcha than that.
They are starting to implant into the uterine walls today. How fitting
it is that this happens on the day I implanted myself firmly into my
human's heart forever.