I'm 4!

Friends, today's the big day, oh yes it is! you know why? Cuz I'm 4 today!


After the ordeal I went through on Wednesday, I didn't even know if I'd make it out alive to my fourth Birthday, and after the embarrassment of seeing that my pictures of shame were posted, I was sure I wasn't! But, as before, I stayed away from the light at the end of the tunnel, and went for the treats the human offered instead... They helped.


But, friends, what does not help is the selfish human. Am I having a party? Nope. Am I having nice things happen to me? Cuddles and oodles of treats and attention and love don't count, so my answer is, nope. Do you know what I'm getting instead? I'm getting horrible powder in my coat again in preparation for the show tomorrow, then a comb through, then my ears cleaned, then shoved in a horrid PTU for a car trip to the HG's house where we'll both stay tonight before heading off to the show. What happened to HAPPY birthday!


In my pictures, you'll see how I look on the morning of the show. I'm putting this here today cuz we're not gonna have time to post tomorrow, and I wanted to show you the results of the show bath. Hopefully, I'll be too busy winning!


You'll also see that I like my treats. Ok, so perhaps something good did happen today... I got loads of these! If any of you would like to sneaky over and help me celebrate in style before I have to go in the PTU for my trip, then you'd be most welcome. I'm sorry it's a poor spread, but I do have Party Mix which I'll share. Hah, if I party real hard, I might even have bed head when I wake up tomorrow morning, and then I can have the fun of watching the human scramble frantically to sort out my beautiful floof! Sounds good if you ask me.


Wow, this being 4 is hard work! I'm going to walk around like a little old ladycat today as though my joints ache and I'm tired. Hopefully that'll have the human feeling sorry enough for me that she breaks out the tuna! See you all soon, friends.

After my bath

Getting Treats!

Saturday Stuff

Friends, I'm so ticked off that my human didn't write for me yesterday, cuz I had stuff to tell you. She says she wasn't up to it for ages, and then when she was, Dogman arrived as usual to stay with us for the weekend, so she had to talk to him. I say my mewsingsg are way more important than silly people talk, but she's so dumb that she won't even agree on that point! Let me tell you about my yesterday.





I ended up being on nurse duty for a lot of it. When she got up in the morning, the human said she'd be taking a trip to the human vet to have her ears sorted out. She said they were going to remove the wax build up by squirting lots of warm water into her ear so that it would get flushed out. I thought this was a pretty poor idea of having a good time, and she agreed. She says that it always is a massive struggle afterwards, cuz her hearing is so important to her, and that it's nasty and scary for her having it done. I offered to do some paw holding, but she says they don't allow cats into the human vet. how about that for double standards! Peoples are actually required to be with us at the cat vet! Unfair, unfair!





With the help of a friend, I managed to bundle her up in her human PTU, and then turned her security over to said friend to make sure she didn't escape on the way there. It must have been pretty awful, cuz when they brought her back, she was really wobbly and a bit white in the face. She said her ears were all funny, and when the friend had helped her back to the sofa, she didn't move for a long time. Friend said I was to cuddle her lots, and I did just that. I nursed her good!





A little while later, the door knocked, and the human dragged herself off to answer it. Guess what? it was my stuff from the auction that I bid on to help Shell! Let me start by saying thank you, thank you, thank you to the wonderful peoples that donated this stuff so that I could eventually end up with it, and help Shell in the process! I got a book all about babycats in their new homes which I will use to write up my advice for new kitten owners, and I also got the Harp of Hope CD. Now, let me tell you, this is something real, real special. When the human saw what it was, she packed herself straight off to bed to listen to it in the hopes her ears would feel better when she got up.





I haven't slept on the bed with the human for ages. Sure, I'll start off there for alittle while, but when she wakes in the morning, I'm usually out sleeping by my litter trays again. But when this CD went on, after about 20 minutes, I could stand it no longer, and crept up to cuddle the human. I've never slept so good in my life, and the human who normally doesn't have a hope of sleeping during the day slept for well over an hour! Her ears were still uncomfortable when she got up, but they'd gotten better a bit. What's more important to her though was the fact that we got some snuggle time on the bed. I don't really know why I'm hanging out so much by my smelly toilet trays, and why I'm only doing it at night instead of going to the comfy bed. I just do it.





The human had plans to scan in the book that we'd just been given so that the talking man in the computer box could read it to her, but she never did do it cuz a lot of shopping arrived just shortly after that. There was loads of peoples food, but was there anything for me? No! Not even cat treats! The human says I don't need any after the loads I got sent, but I simply don't agree with that. Every cat needs treats, don't they? And you can never have enough! All she got me was two bags of stinky litter for my boxes. As if that's exciting! I ask you!





By the time she had put all that away she was feeling pretty rough again, so went for another long sit down. Then Dogman arrived. He took the human for a walk, after making lots of fuss with me, of course. I advised him that fresh air might help clear her ears a bit, and even if it did nothing else, it'd take her out of my fur for a bit too. he agreed, and so off they went. I've never seen my human walk so slowly! Still, she says the outdoors did indeed help, and they ended up walking a few miles before they came back. She got to listen to the birdies as they went from full song into night time sleep, and she says that kind of thing is good for the soul. Good for the stomach, if you ask me, but hey, I'm not a people.





I spent all of last night keeping the human awake by playing with my toys, running around, and generally having a good time. Ah, it's good to be a cat! I was just punnishing her for not writing my blog, cuz there was something really special I wanted to tell you. Yesterday was my last Friday of being three years old. Yep, that's right, next Friday, only one day before I become a show cat again, is my Birthday and I will be four years old! I haven't decided what to do for my Birthday yet, and nor has the human. This is the first of my birthdays that she's been with me for. I can't go too mad cuz of my show the next day on accounta the fact that I gotta be well rested, so any ideas would be welcome. I'll be travelling to the HG's house that day too cuz we're staying over there the night before the show. Do you think she'll buy me lots of nice goodies cuz she'll see me on my Birthday? how do I make her do it! Should I throw a small house party? Help!





I plan to spend my last Saturday as a three-year-old napping to catch up on all the sleep I missed last night by keeping my human awake. She on the other hand, will have to stay awake. Did I mention it's good being a cat?





Update: I've just learned that miss Shell sadly left us to travel on to the rainbow bridge. I am sorry that it was her time to go. Please could you all send good thoughts to the ones she left behind? Shell, you will be missed so much. You fought so well for one who was so ill.





To read her story and leave your thoughts please Visit her blog.

Happy and Sad

We have news, friends, but not all of it is good. My human is going to need some more snuggling, it seems. I'll tell you the sad first, then we can brighten a little with happy thoughts. Last night when it was dark outside, Dogman's grandad went to what some of you others called the rainbow bridge. The human knew him very well for years, and although he'd been sick for a long while with something even worse than runny eyes or even a runny bum, although they all expected it to happen, it's still come as a bit of a shock. Poor Dogman, like the human, found out when he was at work, and both have had to carry on their days there despite their grief. Dogman's grandad, even though I didn't know you, I think I would have liked you cuz the human says you were a happy man and a good cuddler. You will be missed by all you left behind. The human says she doesn't want to talk about this any more, and I can't blame her. It's about time she had a break, don't you think? I'm not one to go soft on her, but it just seems like it's been one thing after another after another for the last few months, with hardly time to surface and snatch a breath in between before the next wave comes. I will snuggle her silly tonight and eas her as much as I can.




Now, on to happier things. Thank you all so much for the human's birthday wishes. She saved them all up till the end of the day before she read them, and they gave her a happy face. She got presents too. Her cousin, the biggest humankitten that lives with little Phoebe actually, sent her some super posh chocolate in the post. The thing from the HGG was a bead for her Pandora charm bracelet. We can't work out what it is though, and the HGG can't remember (she has big memory problems), but it's an animal with a long tail that's kinda sitting up. The human thinks it's either a cat or a monkey. Oh, she's now officially considered the crazy cat lady too, or so she thinks. Her auntie, again the one that lives with Phoebe, says she sent her a birthday card with a cat face on it. When you open it and rub the cat's tummy, it even sings! The human says that when peoples search for birthday cards with cats on, it's a sign that you are the CCL. This singing sounds interesting to me though. I wonder if it's a skill I should start working on? Just as well it's only a picture and not a real cat else I'd have to get jealous! I will study its singing ability with great interest when mr postman finally drops it off in the post box.





When the human got home from the work hunt yesterday, there was a message from another friend of hers, not the one who cancelled, asking her if she was doing anything that evening. The friend, hmmmm, let's call her funny lady (cuz she speaks with a funny accent), wanted to know if the human would go out with her, and of course she said yes. I packed her off to do her cleaning in the shower. It's such a shame they don't have the tongue to do it thoroughly and propperly, isn't it? Then she put on the non-fur clothes to cover her body and off she went.





Well, funny lady had surpassed herself! Instead of taking the human out, she took her to her house where she had made the most beautiful meal. There was chicken pie (why didn't I get some!) and delfinoise potatoes whatever they are, and peas in a cream sauce. This was followed by chocolate cake and champagne. This was all freshly home made (well, except for the champagne), and was simply divine. They finished up by giving her a card that they had got their son, who also has broken eyes, to braille for her. He was so excited about the human reading it. He's still quite a small kitten, you see, so it was a big achievement for him to write it.





The human got back late and was quite tired, but she'd had a super day, far better than she expected it would be. But wait, there's more to come.





The human received perhaps the best present yesterday morning by email. It was news, and boy was it big news. You remember Sparkles, the cat with the lonely heart? Well, she's found her forever home! The human is so pleased about this. She felt an incredibly strong connection with Sparkles and would have taken her herself if there wasn't that huge ocean thing in between. As it was, she worked hard to make sure other peoples and cats and dogfaces featured her on their blogs. We even got her mentioned in Ireland! It simply made her day to know that yesterday, on her birthday of all days, Sparkles was adopted. And as if that wasn't coincidence enough, she's going to live with a lady who calls her blog Kat's Kats,. Her brother was adopted by another lady who writes Cat's Cats. How about that for an awesome confluence of events! Was there a reason for the connection the human felt? Well, I can't say, but it's pretty cool anyway. Sparkles, we hope your transport day this weekend goes super smoothly, and that you settle in well. You're going to a house of tims, so it shouldn't take you any time at all to begin your reign as princess supreme. You'll love it!





The human is waiting now only for her Birthday cards to arrive in the post, and to see whether she will go and be with Dogman to help him through his loss. She's told him she'll come, but he isn't sure he wants company, so if we don't blog for a few days, it's cuz the human has ran off to see him. Oh, that chocolate is certainly going to be needed to help get through the latest tough time. Now, where did I store the rest of my sandpaper kisses?

Happy Birthday, Human!

It's finally here, oh yes it is! My human gets a year older today. I don't understand how she gets a year older overnight, but she does, and who am I to argue?




I've been thinking and thinking on what to get her as a present, but I'll admit, I was struggling. I ensure she's good to herself most days, so what do you buy the human who has everything? Ok, she says she wants a yacht, but I don't like the water, so poopooed that idea. A car? Well, she can't drive. A new house in the country with servants, a swimming pool in the garden and a fat bank balance? Well, the place she has in Oxfordshire is small, set near a park, gets puddles in the back garden and has a fat bill balance... Close enough for me.





Still, The Catnip Crew gave me a super idea for a present. They recommended I give her a sand-papery kiss. Now, this is something I give her on a reasonably regular basis, but she does seem to love them so. And when I say she's got everything, she doesn't have a sandpaper kiss, cuz you can't hold them or put them in your pocket, you see. Once they're given, they're gone.





Accordingly, I got her up super early this morning even though she hadn't had much sleep the night before. I crawled up to the top of the bed, snuggled down beside her, and decided that while I was grooming myself, I should include her. I tell you, her hand has never been so clean! She seemed to enjoy it though. Her face got that happy expression on it where the corners of the mouth turn up and stay that way. I think they call it a smile.





I think I might even allow her to give me treats today, just as an extra present. She's had no birthday cards in the post yet, and has no presents to open, but she's remaining cheerful. She was supposed to be going out for dinner tonight, but her friend cancelled on her at the last minute. I consoled her with the fact that sitting in and snuggling with me will be much better fun anyway. After all, her friends wouldn't play catch the mousie with her, so it would be boring! She says some cards will hopefully come today, but despite that, she's had something that's very much brightened up the start to her day. I will say no more for now, but if and when the time is right, I shall reveal a very special present the human got given. It made her do the smiley face again!





In other news, my walking jacket (doesn't that sound so posh?) was put in the post yesterday, so should be here tomorrow. Dogman is also coming up at the weekend, but isn't bringing Dogface. The human asked him to leave her behind, as it's still too hard for her to see her again just at the moment. He's coming to do a late birthday celebration with the human, and get this! He bought her a present, but it was for me! It's a new PTU, but this one is so posh that I might actually refuse to look at it as a PTU. It's a backpack that the human wears and I sit in to survey the world as we walk. It's all soft, so it won't have the nasty hard feel of PTUs, and it won't sway half as mush as we move, given that it's attached to the human and all. If I decide I like the walking jacket, we can even use the two in combinations so that I can go on long walks with the human and whoever happens to be with her at the time. This is something the human has been wanting for a long time, as she really struggles to carry a PTU in one hand and work a dog or a stick with the other. We can't wait to see what it's like!





Oh, we've just remembered, the human does have a present! It's from the HGG who gave her it when she was over at Christmas to take back with her and keep until today. We've also just had word that the HG, who is the HGG's daughter and the human's mummypeople, and the... Oh, what do I call him! He's an HG too, although he's the human grandad, father of my human. Hmmm, I spose I'll have to come up with a name for him when I meet him. Anyway, the pair of them sent the human a really posh slab of chocolate in the post. They say it'll get here on Saturday. Wow, quite a haul there, for me and her both!





I must go now. She's itching to open that present from the HGG. Before I do though,
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear human
Happy birthday tooooooooo yooooooooouuuuuuuuuuu

Tortureshell Tuesday: People Style

It's been a while since I had a tortureshell, and after I've written this, you'll see why I wouldn't mind it being another long while until the next one. Yes, friends, you read that correctly. Perhaps I'm becoming soft with all the holiday spirit still around, but Tortureshells haven't been on my mind for a while! This one isn't even of my doing. It's a people Tortureshell. Allow me to elaborate.




The human has a massive peoples family, and when I say massive, I mean it. on the HGG's side alone, there are 16 cousins of the human, and already 6 second cousins who are all still kittens, with another one on the way! The human great grandad's side is massive too, and one of those peoples on his side has two cats. Good for her, I hear you say, and indeed, I thought so too, until last night.





The human saw a post on the dreaded Facebook that mentioned that the relation was "getting rid of the cats". What? Getting rid of a trainer? It really galls me when peoples think they can do this. Sure, they have thumbs and have control of the stinky goodness, but that doesn't make them lord of all they survey. Perhaps they're of the opinion that they're through with training and don't need us any more, but the least they could do is give us the contracted notice period so that we can find another home, preferably with that old lady down the street who feeds you nice food because she thinks you don't have any other home to go to (mancats, I trust you know what I mean). I mean, it's a pretty poor way for them to show their gratitude for all of our hard work when they simply turf us out onto the street, or, in this case, into PTUs.





The reason for "getting rid" as she called it was because her trainers had decided they were going to do a bit of what I call inappropriate scratching, which is to say, sharpening one's claws on various things: items of furniture, walls, carpets, the occasional bit of soft, yielding human flesh. I fail to see why this causes a problem bearing in mind that usually, we are simply trying to teach the peoples that they wouldn't need to cut their finger nails if they would only scratch as we do. This people didn't get the hint though, and decided enough was enough.





The human got on top of it as soon as she saw the dreaded message of doom and gave the people lots of advice. She even told her about Soft Claws, and offered to give her some spare that we have. The people was going on about how much she loved her cats and how there'd be "tears all round" when they went, but said she'd look into Soft Claws as she "really didn't want to get rid of them". The human went to bed happy that she'd at least saved two cats from going to the Cat's Protection shelter.





Midway through the day today, she saw this message. "My wee cats are gone. Tears all round." um, what? People, what do you think you're doing! The human helped! The human was gobsmacked, and the heart went out of her. She wrote back to the people, saying sharply that she thought she'd said she loved the cats and would look into things, but she's got no answer. It's left her rather upset, and she's not the only one.





The more I've thought about this today, the madder I've gotten. I don't know where peoples get the idea that we are disposable. They allow us into their lives, con us into thinking that they will feed and care for us forever in return for their training, then break all trust and contracts by throwing us out on our ear for the smallest infraction. I think they sometimes forget that we are intelligent and have feelings and might actually care about it. They see us as nothing more than a ball of fluff to be cuddled and manhandled and cooed over, no more than an animated teddy bear that can be put away in a box when you're finished playing with it. Well, guess what? We're not! If I wasn't more secure with my human, this would make me wonder if she'd do the same to me, but when I confronted her with it, she just laughed, tickled my tummy, and assured me that I am the best trainer for her. Sure, she might add a kitten or two to our family, but it doesn't change the fact that that's what we are; a family. And you don't throw your family members out for inappropriate behaviour. You feed them tuna instead! Right, human?





Working on the peoples idea that they choose us rather than the other way around (I know it's not true, but it serves my purposes to pretend so for one paragraph), a pet is for life, not just for Christmas or Birthday or playing with or for the good times. We're in it for better or for worse. When you pick up that cute puppy or kitten in a pet shop or at someone's home, you should be saying your marriage vows to us. Are you ready for a commitment of that magnitude? Are you ready for the till death do us part portion of it? Because, you selfish peoples who think you can just dump a pet when you're done with your toy, we certainly make that commitment. In most cases, we actually mean it too. Sure, we think you're cute, we think you need our help, we think you're fun to play with, but you know what? When that wears off, when the novelty of having you around goes away, the love, the caring still remains. Where's your portion of that? Where di dyour love go, human's relation? It certainly didn't go with those two cats in their PTUs on the way to the shelter.





At least in the UK, we have no kill shelters, but if pets are dumped in the states or Canada, often they end up at horrible places of death. Beth, a rescuer from Canada, does wonderful work with a local shelter that practices euthanasia, saving cats from the twice weekly death day and placing them in foster homes for adoption. She's so passionate about it that she's even started her own rescue.
She also regularly blogs about the horrific conditions she saves cats from
Just think, she wouldn't need to if peoples weren't so thoughtless, selfish and inconsiderate of our wants and needs. Grrrrr!





Ok, rant over now, I promise. Now that I've got it out of my system, I am going to go prepare for the human's Birthday. It's only tomorrow, and I'm excited! The catnip crew gave me a great idea for a present...