Guest Post: Christmas Kitten

Hi, hi, hi! Hi! Can you hear me? Huh? I don't know if you can, but the big noisy thing that calls itself the human says you can, so I'm excited enough that I'm gonna talk even if you can't. This is soooooooo neat that I can talk to other cats! Are some of you kittens, hmmm?? I'm a kitten and I'm called Phoebe and I live with more of the big noisy things that pick me up and cuddle me and feed me and play with me and walk at me so as I have to run away super fast so that their big paws don't step on me. Some of you other kittens might be ascared of them, but I'm not cuz I'm super brave. i do run away but that's just so that they won't step on me rather than because I'm afraid. I'm black and white, and I'm a big girl now! So big that I can even whap the little noisy yappy thing the big things call a Pepper or a dog or a "be quiet, you" depending on what kind of mood they're in. She's jealous of me and she bites me cuz even though she's small, I was smaller than her for a long time cuz I'm still only a baby kitten really, but now I'm big enough that I can smack her with my paws and she sometimes runs away. I did it today when she tryed to eat my food.




Today was a special day for the big noisy things. They call it Christmas. I call it a good idea. Why? Because there was a big bird thing that they left on the table and I got to eat it. Least, I tried to, but the big noisy thing that the smaller ones call mummy kept pushing me off when I tried. The third time, she even smacked my poor nose! I kept trying though.





Christmas is a scary time. it's when lots of the big noisy things come together and make a lot of noise to each other and they also bring boxes with them covered in paper. that makes noise too when they tear it off. I wasn't sure what to make of it all. I spent my time by either hiding out under one of the kitchen chairs or running around like crazy attacking everything that I laid eyes on! It was fun! Scary, but fun.





Then the big noisy thing that calls itself a human came. She arrived with two other big noisy things, one of whom I think you folks know as the HGG, and the other who is a family friend. They had all come to eat the bird and lots of other things, but they weren't interesting for cats, so I don't member what they were. Sorry, but I'm still small so my memory isn't too good yet. Sorry. The human called the mummy noisy thing her auntie, and the small noisy things her cousins, but I don't know what this means. Anyway, when she sat down, I ignored her totally, but it wasn't long before she scooped me up. I didn't know what she wanted. The noisy things I live with are very noisy, and they never sit still for long, so I'm not used to having lots of lap time sept in the evenings, so I didn't sit with her long. In fact, when she was tickling me, I even bited her... Hard. She told me off the first time, but I didn't listen. Even I know that big noisy things are silly enough that I can get away with biting them, cuz they think it is only a game, so I did it again. Then I got the shock of my life. It did something that I didn't know noisy things knew how to do! It put the mammacat grab on my neck and cuffed me! It didn't hurt, but I was so surprised that I bited it again, just to make sure I'd actually really seen that it knew how to do this. It did it again! I couldn't believe it! It was exactly how my mummycat used to tell me she'd had enough, so I didn't bite the human any more. I got quietly down off her lap with good manners instead of biting my way free, then runned away and bited shoe laces instead. They didn't scruff me or cuff me, so I decided they'd be more fun to bite instead.





The big noisy things got quiet for a while after that while they ate the bird. Then they all sat back and rubbed their tummies and said they'd eaten too much. I was glad to hear it. Means there would be some left for me! But they wouldn't give me any! I was so cross that I stayed in the kitchen when they all went into the living room. I'll admit that part of me wanted to watch the bird to make sure there was none that would suddenly appear for me, but it never did.





While I was sleeping on the chair though, the big noisy human came out and picked me up. I remembered what had happened earlier and went nice and still in her hands as a kitten should when it is picked up by a mummycat, but she sat down with me and tickled and cuddled and scratched me. She did this when there was no other big noisy things around, and this was so strange for me that I actually let her snuggle me. It was kinda strange but kinda good at the same time. I thinked I liked it, so even though I runned away, I let her pick me up again when another few noisy things were there. I even purred for her and rubbed her hand with my face. But I didn't stay long. I'm just not sure about cuddling yet, sept when I am tired and want to go for sleepies on a warm big noisy thing. Then they're Ok.





While I was cuddling with the human, I sensed she was a little sad, but as I don't know her all that well, I didn't ask about it. I'm not sure I care either. I know that sounds rude, but really, I don't know her. All I know is that she had a bit of a rough Christmas. It ended better than it started, but it wasn't an easy day at all for her. I thought about licking her when I heard this, but just sniffed the ham smell on her fingers instead. Hope that was enough comfort. Then I runned away and fighted with the Pepper dog thing, just for fun.





So that was my day and it was long and it was exciting and it was scary and I think I like the human noisy big thing but I'm not sure, and I think I like cuddles but I'm not sure either, and I am surprised that the human knows the mummycat grab and I don't think I will bite her any more cuz it's not fun to bite her. Now I want some birdy. I'm gonna crawl on the table again and see if I can find any even though I know I'm not sposed to and I might make the big noisy things make a lot of noise (they call it shouting) cuz I'm up there. It's fun tormenting big noisy things!

Tortureshell: Birds

How, you might ask, am I able to do a Tortureshell in such a short time after coming to live at Dogman's place? I wish, friends, that I could tell you I was so good at tortureshelling that I can just pull them from nowhere, but unfortunately, it takes even me a little time to judge the best angle of mischief. No, this time, our Tortureshell is to do with the human and her bird. Let me tell you all about it.




She drove to the airport (this is the name of the place where the plane birds are coaxed in to land and eat) with Dogman and Mark who had agreed to take her cuz it was still very snowy and trains might not be running. They got there with only a few minutes to spare before check in closed, but were relieved that someone was still taking the bags from them. The flight, apparently, would still run, but with a two and a half hour delay. They went and got some food and took it easy for a little while. Then the peoples who help my human at the airport came and got her and they went through security. Then followed some waiting, and some more waiting, and then just a little bit more. Just five minutes before her bird was supposed to eat her and leave, the airport announced that it was closing due to bad weather. Her bird refused to take off, and refused to eat my human. He said it was cuz he didn't want to fly with the belly ache of her really heavy suitcase. he also said the sandwich she ate made her just too heavy to cope with. I can understand this. I mean, we cats are better than any bird, and I dont' think any of my friends could lift my human. There's just too much of her!





Because the bird wouldn't fly, my human had to come back home and book to take a new bird. The peoples who booked it (the airline, she calls them) offered to put her in a hotel, but she was worried about it. There were lots of peoples staying there due to the cancellations, and that would mean staff being stretched. normally, she knows staff are happy to help her get things like food, but she didn't want to chance it. The airline paid for a taxi back home for her. And here she stayed.





I must say, I was mighty surprised to have her walk in the door at dark AM on Tuesday morning, but I made the most of it. I even went so far as to give her some of my body heat to warm her up. She was so cold when she got back in! She stayed all day yesterday, but she says that her bird will be waiting for her again today, so she has to go back to the airport and try again. I half hope he won't eat her again, cuz then I get to have her for longer, but I know she wants to see her family, so I'm torn. She got really sad yesterday when her and Dogman went down town to pick up our things for Secret Paws and post them cuz it was all Christmasy and she couldn't help thhinking she might not get home. These weather conditions are set to last till the day after Christmas. Then this morning she logged on to Facebook, and saw this from one of the youngest children in the family.





Carly, when are you coming? I'm fed up waiting for you here. I want you to come home. I won't open a single gift till you get here. I promise.





This from a humankitten that normally is the first downstairs on Christmas morning. She does like to open the things slowly though, and she always does it right in front of the human so that she can show her every little thing she gets. She's a very thoughtful little girl, and is one of the family's deaf babies (deafness runs in the human's family as well as the blindness). This baby had a Coclear implant (we don't know if that's spelled right!) at three years old which meant she had to learn to talk at that age. the human was still at home then, so taught her a lot of language herself. Once she learned, she never shut up, and would talk just for the sake of hearing herself, but the human knew how important language acquisition was as early as possible, so she talked back as much as she could. We think it was because the human rarely asked her to be quiet that the little one gravitated towards her, but she's always been close, and is usually the noisiest one at harping on and on and on "Mummy, mummy, mummy, Carly's home. Can we go to granny's and see her mummy? Can we? Muuuuuuuuum!" That quoted to the human by her mummy on Tuesday morning at 6 AM when she thought my human had made it home. Needless to say, it wasn't the mummy's idea of the perfect wake up call. The human got real, real runny eyes when she read what the humankitten had said though, so I think it's best for her health if she does make it home for Christmas. I don't want a sick eyed human on my hands. The risk isn't worth it. If it keeps her from the vet, then I'll make the sacrifice.





In other news, the Catnip Lounge crew are having a commentathon today in honour, once again, of Chrystal and her cats. I'm having real net trouble this morning, so I can't go and visit the Catnip gang. I know they read though, so please, if you don't mind, could you consider my mention of you on the blog as my comment in the commentathon? Also, if one of the others who posts for the blog could find a link and insert it, I'd be most grateful. I'd make the human do it, but the man in the box is being rude this morning and isn't talking to her and telling her all the things she needs to know. She doesn't know why, but doesn't have the time to pull him out and give him a good talking to either, as she needs to get ready for flying again.





In one last bit, thank you so much, Praline, for embedding my videos for me, and for Tori who suggested a way to do it. I'll try that next time. I can't remember who it was said they hadn't done snow angels since being ten, and the talking man won't let us check either, but I'm glad that you, at least, are more sensible than my human. When I mentioned this to her, she only said, "But Tia, I'd never made a snow angel before and wanted to try it." Stupidity? I rest my case.

She Did It!

The human managed, at long last, not only to get pictures of the snow from the falling sky, but actually got a video! Now I can at last show you all what a silly human I own.

Enjoy!

We can't embed, so Click Here



Because we still can't embed, Click here



And don't blame me for how silly she is!

She says it was lots of fun making the snow angel, but judging by the level of the teeth chattering when she returned to the warm house, i won't be making any cute cat snow angels.

A people one is all the excitement I can stand, I fear.

I'm making this post quick today, as the human is hoping to fly home very, very soon. Cuz of all the snow, she's leaving super early to be there on time, even though there's no guarantee that the planes are still going up in the skky. Isn't it weird that peoples will allow themselves to be swallowed by these plane birds to go flying in the sky? What's more odd is that the birds choose to eat peoples. I mean, have you ever tasted them? There's bound to be something better out there. Mousies for example. Nobody's so desperate that peoples are the food of choice, and yet, the planes continue to eat them, and the peoples submit. The whole affair is a bit worrying to me. The human says she might take me to be eaten by a plane bird one of these days, but I'm not so keen.

The human tells me that she's going to be gone now for a lot of days over Christmas, that is, if her plane bird can be persuaded to eat her, then fly in this weather. Poor bird, what a tummy ache to be flying with! Still, if it gets her to her family, then it'll be a job well done. I'm going to miss her though. I like having her around. Dogman's all right, but he's just not the human. he isn't as squishy nd cuddly as her. Oh well, I guess I'll cope.

The human says she'll blog for me when she can, but as she's not with me, she won't know what I'm getting up to in as much detail as she'd like to. She'll tell you all about her Christmas if you'd like to hear it though. I'm sorry in advance. She does tend to talk a lot about herself, and all my training hasn't gotten rid of this habit. I will talk to you all again as soon as I can, and will visit you as regularly as possible. I'll also let you know if the human's bird eats her later tonight! Paws crossed please. As you can see, the snow's pretty bad here, and those videos were taken after it had started to thaw!

Sweet Praline here: My Mom helped me embed Carly's snow angel videos for her.  Hope you enjoy them.