Saturday, 23 October 2010

Further Update

I'm hoping like crazy this is the last one of these I have to write before Tia comes home. I miss her like mad today, this being made all the more poignant by my finding out about the soon to be loss of Molly yesterday. I haven't been able to settle totally since they told me. I feel like a bit of a lost soul, and am just drifting around the house desperate for something to do or somewhere to go. Tia helps when I feel like this. She's always up to something, and failing that, never minds a cuddling session, something I could do with right about now. If my stud people weren't unavailable today, I think I'd have already gone and got her.

In typical tortie fashion, Tia did exactly what she did last time. She wouldn't let the boy get anywhere near her. Every time he approaches, she apparently tucks her tail right between her legs and squats, so the poor lad doesn't have a hope of doing what he needs to. I'm hoping against hope that she lets him closer today, but to be honest, the realistic part of me scoughs at this.

In brighter news though, the stud owner, a very experienced breeder of many years, says that this is very normal behaviour for maiden queens. I was starting to think I'd never manage to get her mated. One of hers had to go to stud three times before she would even consider mating. As Tia's not a strong caller though, it does add other complications. Ah well, I guess we just wait and see what happens. And if she is never able to relax enough to allow herself to eventually have kittens, it won't change a thing. I'll love her just as I always have, tortitude and all.

Thank you so much to the three of you who visited yesterday and left supportive thoughts. It does help, I promise you. You're right though, it is a bit of a rough Christmas present, one I could quite thankfully do without, Mr Santa Clause. I have started the application process for a new dog, but there is a long waiting list. I'm probably looking at years before I have the chance at another one. To be brutally honest, it feels almost mean to think of another one replacing Molly right now. It's strange how many people ask if I'll be getting another dog as their first question. It hurts to know she's leaving and another might be coming. In a way, it's like the death of a pet, retiring your dog. As all of you who have lost one know, the last thing you want to do while grieving is think of its replacement in your family.

For now, I make the most of my time with her. She's happy, and snoring her head off at the moment. Tomorrow I'll have my Tia home, and my little family will be complete once more, if only for a short time. I'll cherish it while I can.


Karen said...

When I ask about another dog it is because the dog is a service animal. I did not mean to be insensitive. Also knowing Molly is going to a nice home will help. Also many a time people read and do not comment. DO not take the amount of comments as the amount of visitors

Admiral Hestorb said...

My friend, I didn't get her yesterday at all and usually I do try to get by so I did not know about Molly. I am so sorry..I know it is sad and it hurts. She is a member of your family. Having your reluctant to relinquish her charms maiden home again will help as you said.

I was glad to read the last lines, that Molly is happy and snoring. That's a sweet thing.


Tia said...

Karen, please don't think I was getting at you. I wasn't. It's mainly people I come in contact with in every-day life. I consider it insensitive from those who know me well and can physically see the upset. Please know that I meant none of that personally.

Hestorb, it's a sweet thing indeed that she's snoring and content and still happy to play and roll around. It eases things to know that she's at least pain free enough to live a fulfilled life, even if that doesn't involve working.

Sweet Praline said...

Sorry I missed visiting this week. Mom has been on the road and we are just now getting around to visiting. I am so sorry to hear about Molly. Hopefully you can get a new one soon.

I hope things go well with Tia.

The Lee County Clowder said...

Tia must be puzzling the heck out of that poor tom kittie. "If all you want to do is tuck in your tail and sit, why are you here at all?"

OKcats said...

I assumed that since Molly was a service dog that you would certainly be getting a new one - but that in no way trivializes how I imagine you must feel about her. We are taught to think of service dogs as workers, not as pets, so we are told not to ask to pet them or try to interact with them as we would any other dog, as they are working. But of course you would love the dog as any of us would who live with an animal. I was surprised to hear that it may take years before you get another one - I had no idea the waiting list was that long.

I've only lost 2 pets in my adult life. When I lost the 1st, 'replacing' him never even entered my mind as I still had 2 cats at home, and 1 was fairly old and not in the best health. When I lost him 2 years later, I briefly considered not getting another cat, but I quickly changed my mind. So we all grieve different - even from pet to pet. I know how you feel, thinking about another dog while you still have Molly, but you should not feel bad for that. You know it won't replace Molly, but you also know how having a trained dog has affected your life.

I hope things get better for you - it's been a rough month.

Karen said...

I just wanted to make sure you understood what I meant buy getting a new dog. I know from loss it is tough to get a new animal. It took me a year after my butterscotch passed to want to have a new cat in my life. Now I have pixel and samba. I also didn't realize the length of the list. I thought if you had a animal and they retired it they would push you to the top of the list to make sure you have no loss in you're quality of life. Can they wait to retire her. Do you have a say in it. Will her retirement impact your quality of life much.

Tia said...

Clouder, the owner did tell me he was mighty puzzled, and a bit indignant to boot! So much for being a gentleman and not mating her till she's ready, eh? Hopefully the poor guy won't start to question his morals and the wisdom of not just taking what he wants, when he wants it.

I don't really have a say in whether she retires or not, and even if I did, I'd probably side with them. If she looks uncomfortable, there's no way I want to keep working her. They agreed to wait until I've had my training with the long cane (the white stick we use) but once that's been done, she's gone. All the appointments are set, so it'll be at Christmas that she leaves me unless things don't go to plan.
As far as quality of life goes, it is going to affect it very drastically for the first few months, yes. I need to re-learn my confidence in the cane. I need to learn my way to all of the places I already know with the dog, and that, forgetting anything else, is going to take time and a lot of work. It's a big thing to go from a cane to a dog initially, but in some ways an even bigger one to go from an interacting companion who actively looks out for you to an inanimate object which only gives feedback where you direct it. That being said though, I know I can lead a happy, full life with a cane. I've done it before, and am determined to do so again. It's just going to take time is all.

Karen Jo said...

Sorry I haven't been by in a while. It's a shame that Molly has to be retired, but it's the right thing to do. I hope that Tia changes her mind and lets that poor stud tom do what he is supposed to do.