Return!

Friends, my state of abandonment and dreadful neglect has finished! My human is back!






She arrived home yesterday morning to find me in a terrible state. I tell you, I was so, so upset and missing her so much that I was on my back in the middle of the floor with my paws in the air considering giving a full stretch to show off the yummy tummy in all its glory. Dogman was tickling me, so i thought it only polite. I was so upset, so mistreated that when the human walked through the door, I didn't even get up to greet her straight away. I barely had the energy to turn my head to look at her through sleepy eyes. Do you see the abuse I have to put up with? Animal Rights organisations would be horrified!





This lasted for all of about ten seconds though, all until she spoke. I'd been resolute until then. I'd decided to ignore her until she begged me to relent, to make her pay for daring to go away when she did, even though she said she'd gone then so that I could have her with me in the last part of my pregnancy and right up until the babies were born and had left home.





But friends, when she spoke, my resolution disappeared as fast as tuna juice on a hot day when you really, really need a drink. She sat down and I walked to the side of the sofa and started to shout at her. I couldn't contain myself. I shouted and talked and brrped and told her everything that I'd done while I was without her. All this while standing at her feet. She asked me to come up and see her, and I obliged. Oh what bliss followed! I've said before that my human is a good cuddler, but I'll say it again. I smooshed my face on her. I climbed on her. I cuddled right in, then rolled over so that her hands could touch all over my big, baby-filled tummy. She loved it and so did I. We were otgether again.





I didn't leave her for a whole half an hour, but when I did, I decided that I had to get a grip on myself again. With a nonchalance that I pretended, but certainly didn't feel, I turned my back on her, walked to the food bowl, ate enough to choke a horse, then went and sprawled on the floor. This too lasted about ten seconds, cuz she got down there with me, and I just had to roll around on my back and purr and headbut her and generally love on her.





She didn't leave me all yesterday sept when Stupid Dogface came to visit with Dogman's mummypeople. The human and Dogman left me then to go outside and talk to her an dDogface. Dogface had just been to the vet, so the human didn't want her in the house in case she was carrying something with her. As soon as my human stepped outside and closed that door, as soon as I couldn't see her any more, I set up a tremendous yowling. No way was I going to be separated from my girl that soon! It was so bad that even the mummypeople commented on it. In the end, the human opened the door and let me come out a little with them all, but I was still separated from Dogface. Why? Well, I'll tell you why. Cuz we have something new!





While the human was away, Dogman and I and his friend were busy! His friend is a builder, and Dogman is a super designer. I am an excelent project manager, and between the three of us, we cooked up something super! I knew the human had been wanting this for a long time and so did Dogman, so while she was away, we ook our chance and built... A screen door! It's super! It's got two layers. The inner one protects against flies and is strong enough to withstand climbing cats and kittens. The outer one is a thinner mesh which prevents midges and mosquitos, but that can't be ripped by us when we climb. The whole thing is on a strong timber frame. It is held shut with a normal handle lock. If that fails, two strong magnets help hold it in place. If they give way, a chain lock will let the door open only so far before it will not go any further. The only thing that could escape is a very tiny kitten, but only after the first two defences have been broken, so basically, they have no chance. It's super for me too, cuz now I can go and sit outside without feeling frightened. You se,e when I'm behind a door, I feel secure, and can watch the birdies with no fear! Isn't that marvellous? All day today, I've been bounding off the human to run and have a look at them when I hear one chattering.





And here, the post will be cut very abruptly short. Phoebe has gone into labour and the human needs to go and help her peoples help her. As we speak she has had four babycats. She has cut the chord on none of them. The mummypeople had to do the first three. The third one was so close that the chord was cut a little too short and bled. Thankfully though, the peoples managed to stop this. When she gave birth to the third, she did nothing for it. She didn't break the sack and it was cold and wasn't moving which is why they cut the chord. That baby is now full of life, but the fourth is still attached to Phoebe. It's so close that they can't cut the chord without injuring the baby, but this one is moving around a little, so isn't in immediate danger. However, it's been half an hour and Phoebe hasn't pushed out the chord or the afterbirth. Babies, when they remain attached for a long time, run the risk of herneas if they move around too much and pul on the chord. Phoebe is getting tired and sleepy and isn't pushing any more, so the human has asked the mummypeople to call for the vet and take them in. I'll write more as soon as I know anything. Please pray hard, friends. Phoebe is only a baby herslef, so it's little wonder that she doesn't know what to do with babycats. They're all gonna need some help to pull through this. Let's hope the vet peoples can sort it all out. Sorry if there are typos in this, but the human won't re-read as she's still talking to the mummypeople to reassure her.

Sacrifice and Absence

It is with great sadness, and not a tiny touch of worry, that I write this post. you see, I've made a decision, one which I'm not sure I'm very happy with.

It all started with a kitten, a foolish, silly little kitten that was brought home to live with my human's people. Given that my human owns his people, I thought that it was my responsibility to help raise the kitten in a sensible way, given that peoples don't have a hope of doing this right. But the problem is, I'm at a great distance, so none of my teachings can be practical. They're all written.

Over the last few weeks, I've been commenting on the Babycat's blog, trying to help him where I could. Some of you other manly mancats have been doing it too, helping where you can, although I'm not sure all are helping for the good! No, Whicky, I'm not thinking of you as I write that bit...

Anyway, pardon. I do have a habit of getting side-tracked. So, I was commenting, giving my wisdom freely, but it didn't work! Firstly, the baby's just a kitten, so forgets half of what I tell him, and has this insane childish idea that peoples are basically all right, and not stupid at all! He's been going through a rough time of it at the moment with his people, and is trying hard to train him in the propper way, but given that he's young, he's making no head-way at all.

As I've said before, I feel responsible for Babycat because my human decided to own his people. I'll be having words with her about that after this incident is over, I promise you. Owning a people only brings problems, as demonstrated by the situation I find myself in now!

Ahem, getting off the topic at hand again. I thought long and hard about the problem. I was having no effect on my own. Even the manly vibes from the manly mancats weren't doing any good. Could I? Should I? More to the point, dare I?

Well, I dare. I'm a decent cat even if I do say so myself, and seeing another in need, I can't help but do what I can. It's for this reason that I'm sending my human to Babycat, well, not to him directly, but to his people to train him. My human, in some ways, is pretty good. She knows to feed me fish, something which Babycat doesn't get. She knows that if I miaow, she's to find me, pick me up and cuddle me. Babycat's people leaves him alone even when he's crying. I don't care if the people had other things to do. Even my human, who is basically stupid, interrupts what she's doing whenever I sing to her.

This is just a few of the things Babycat's people is doing wrong, and I think I can help. So I've put my own needs aside and made a sacrifice. For just over three weeks, I will part from my human and send her halfway across the world to live with Babycat's people. I'm going to be candid with you for a moment. I've always said that I love the human, and I do. It's for that reason, and I don't care how needy this makes me look, that I'm going to miss her dreadfully. She cuddles so nicely. She's soft and warm and her voice is gentle and comforting. She makes a good place to lie at night and she does feed me wet food every day. What am I going to do without her for three weeks?

While she's gone, I get to live with hoover lady. Hoover lady is mad on cats, but we're not so mad on her. She's all right, I suppose, but she's not my human. She'll probably still feed me the wet stuff (the human said she'd tell her to) but it just won't be the same. She's going to sleep in the human's bed, but her smell is different and I don't want to cuddle her the same way I do the human. Why did I do this? Why did I say I'd send her to Babycat? Surely he can do without her and manage on his own?

I instructed her to call the flying plane companies, but she said, "Well Tia, you know I've been planning to go here for quite some time now, so the flights are already booked". Well, how did she know I'd send her! I say my human is stupid, but it's at times like this that i'm forced to re-evaluate. I mean, you gotta be pretty smart to know what I'm going to do before I do it, right?

Because she's away and Hoover Lady's no good on the computer, I won't be blogging very much. I'll update when I can, and I have a special event that i'm planning to launch on Tuesday, maybe, but it depends if I can sneak some time on the computer or not. My human may update the blog with information about what she's been doing. I've given my permission for this, so don't worry, she hasn't stolen my passwords!

Her suitcase came out today. I've been half-heartedly trying to play in it, but I keep remembering what someone else said in my comments. They said that when the suitcase comes, it means that the peoples who own it are going away. My human owns this one.

Oh, why did I do this? I have to remember that I'm a big cat and can do without my human. I don't need her. I'm going to have a good time without her by breaking every rule she ever thought she'd made. I'm not going to miss her at night. I'm not going to wonder if Babycat is cuddling her and she loves him now more than me. I, I... I think I'm going to go now. Remember this, Babycat. Remember what it costs me to send her. Don't make her yours. Please don't make her yours.