Competition winners and stupid humans!

Hihihihihi! Guess what? My human is stupid! I know I know. I still love her, but she's stupider than my stupid, stinky brothers were! You know why? Cuz she gotted her numbers mixed up and she thinked that our super duper competition ended yesterday stead of a whole week ago! How rubbish is that? We're sorry!

Anyway, without further a-do, I get to tell you all who the winner is! I want it to be me, but the human and my booooring old mummycat say that that's not fair cuz I've already tried all the foods and another somebody needs a chance to try it. But shhhh, maybe I'll sneaky some outta the bag before it gets sent away. Don't tell on me though!

Anyway, the winner is............ Hannah and Lucy! Concatulations to the both of you! But I think that Hannah and Lucy shouldn't have telled each other that they were entering, and then if one of them winned, they could keep it a secret and they wouldn't hafta share with the other one! That's what I woulda done, cuz this food is yummy, yummy, yummy! My human says to Hannah and Lucy could they please tell their people somebody to email her their address details and we'll get the prize posted to you! Also, we need a time when you'll be in, and a date pretty please. What's an email?

I've decided. my human is sel, sel, um, not very good at sharing. Oh, I member the word now! It's shellfish! She is! She never shares her yummy foods with me sept for the time when she telled Dogman (that's what my mummycat says his name is) to give me a chip once cuz I was asking really politely for one. My human says I was pestering, but I wasn't! I was just sitting beside his plate and telling him loudly that I wanted one, and sniffing at them and trying to take one. That's polite! At least I didn't just grab and run! When I gotted the chip I ran away with it in my mouth and I didn't share with nobody and I hided behind the chair and eated it all up myself in secret. And I like chips. But the human won't give me any. She says they aren't cat foods and so I don't get to have them. How shellfish is that!

I'm so clever, you know. My mummycat is a bit stupid, but shhh, don't tell her I telled you that else she'll smack me! My human has this super duper ball thing that she calls a treat ball. And she puts really yummy foods in there and if you wanna eat them, you hafta push the ball till it rolls over and spits out some foods. I use the ball maybe 3 times every week, and mummycat, even though she watches me every time, still doesn't know how to get the foods out. She just sits there and cries at the ball, but it doesn't spit out any foods for her. I think it's great, cuz then I don't hafta share! And even when the human tries to feed mummycat some of the treaties without me seeing, I'm so clever that I do see, and I come and copy mummycat and put my paws on the human and shove my face right into her hand and eat real, real fast so's mummycat can't have them all to herself. And it's cool cuz I know that even when I'm finished, there's still loads in the ball that's all mine!

I love to carry things in my mouth too, and mummycat doesn't do that neither. I've bringed two mousies into the bedroom and put them beside the bed thing for a present for the human in the mornings. She always tells me how clever I am for giving her a present. I have glittery balls too, and a straw thing with a glittery ball on the end too, and I pick them up in my mouth and then I jump on the human's knee in my chair and I drop the thing on her and then she tells me how clever I am. And then she wiggles the straw thing or throws the ball for me and then I gotta run real, real fast and jump on it real good and pick it up and kill it and then bring it back to her again. And it's such a cool game!

But yesterday, my human was real horrible to me. Dogman was still at the house, so the human leaved without putting any new stinky goodness in my bowl! But she forgotted to tell Dogman to feed us too, and he doesn't check the bowls a lot cuz he doesn't feed us. And I gotted hungrier and hungrier and I climbed on him and I said "weeeeow!" but he didn't do nothing sept give me a cuddle and then go on typing on Computer. and then I jumped on the back of the chair and I said "Weeeeow!" and he didn't do nothing again! And then I jumped on Computer and started attacking the little moving thing that was wiggling. And then he did do something. And he picked me up and he said "Millie, stop attacking the mouse. I can't work when you're doing that!" And I said "Weeeeow! Weeeeow!" and I put my claws out and holded onto him real tight but all he did was put me down. And then I went and lay sadly by my stinky goodness bowl, and my tummy went all hurty and rumbly and it sounded like there was a monster in there. And so I runned away and went on the sofa instead, cuz all somebodies know that a monster can't get you if you're under a blanket on the sofa. My mummycat asked me why I didn't eat the dry foods, but I didn't answer her. I was starving! I didn't care if there was dry foods. I needed stinky goodness!

And then my human came home and she feeded me and I eated and eated and eated until the monster went away and my tummy wanted to say pop! And then I gived the human a big cuddle. And then I went and climbed into the chair with Dogman and I lay on my back and he tickled my tummy and I went to sleep, cuz all somebodies know that monsters can't get you when you're sleeping on a somebody.

But then I heard mummycat crying her "I'm in the bath and I don't like it" cry, so I went to see and the bathroom door was closed and the human wouldn't let me in. Sept she did, but only after mummycat went out all wrapped up in a towel. But then I didn't want to go in cuz it was my turn for a bath. But do you know what? I sat like a very good girlcat and I only tried to jump out twice. But I let her wash my legs and my tail and everywhere and I tried to eat the bubbles that came into the bath just like magic! But my human said "no, Millie. You'll get sick. And anyway, I can't wash you when you're diving on bubbles." So I stopped and was good again. And then I got air on me from the nois

More Haste, Less Tuna

Well friends, it's finally happening. The big push for the move has started. There's boxes everywhere! There's also bags. I put my head into one of them today cuz I remembered the catnip toys from last time, but sadly there was only old bits of paper in there. I still played with them though!




Anyway, this is going to have to be a super quick post today, as the human still has lots of packing to do. I'm also busy. Busy searching for the tuna she hasn't given me!





Keep paws crossed for The Katnip Mom, Trish
who is now home from surgery and apparently doing well. Please stop by and let her know we're all thinking of her!





Now, if we're all gone for a few days, it's just because we're moving all of our stuff and are really, really busy. I promise I'll get her to write again as soon as we're settled. Stay safe. Eat tuna!

To the Vet Again

Well, I'm afraid that's exactly where I went, and all because the human heard something she shouldn't have done. She's a physio, as I've told you before, and she keeps something called a stethoscope at home. This is used to listen to the breathing and hearts of babies and other peoples that she treats, but she got to thinking. Why couldn't she use it on me? As long as she cleaned it well, there should be no problem. And it had a paediatric diaphragm on one side, so it should fit on my ribs quite nicely. Out it came and she got to listening. What she heard wasn't reassuring.



The left lung was very clear and sounded great, but the right lung was noisy and wheezy. This is particularly not good cuz if you breathe something in, it's much more likely to go into the right lung because of the formation of the bronchi (the tubes that run down from your wind pipe into your lungs). The fact that the left was clear and the right wasn't was worry enough that she put me in the PTU to take me to the vet. She said it was better to prevent infection now so as to avoid aspiration pneumonia than to wait and see if I got worse or better. Pneumonia is so serious that she didn't want to risk it.


Have I mentioned that I hate vet peoples? It seems as though I'm forever there over these last few months, and the human says she's at her wit's end. This was made no better yesterday when the man people who drove the taxi that took us there asked why she didn't just have me put to sleep cuz I was costing so much. The very idea of it! The human told him, very politely too, that when you take on a pet, you take on the responsibility of owning one. Resources providing, if you'd do it for a human child, you should do it for your pet too. Now, the human doesn't actually have the resources, so she wasn't totally truthful to the man people, but I was so shocked that I didn't bother to correct her on it. Friends, have you ever come across this peoples attitude towards us? It's one thing them thinking they own us, but quite another when they consider ending our lives just because we cost too much to keep. Do they think they're God? What gives them the right to believe they have the power to do this? My human says it's a mark of today's throw away society. These days, peoples would rather buy something new to replace a broken thing than to take it to the shop to have it fixed. It's cheaper too. Isn't that sad? Cheaper to buy a new thing than to keep the old one working. Seems that it's the same with cats in the minds of some peoples. True, the human could have had two or three kitten breeding cats for what she's paid in the vet peoples for me, but that's immaterial. When she decided she'd like to be owned by me, she took on all of the responsibility that goes with it. She doesn't want a new me. She'd very much like to keep this model going regardless of the cost, and I'm very grateful for it. It means penny pinching again this month, and she now has no savings in the bank, so she says I'd better not get sick again, but at least I'm still going for now. At least she won't throw me away, end my life for her convenience so that she can get a newer, better functioning model.


So, to get back to my story, the vet lady people had a listen to my chest and a look at me. She took my temperature which was normal, but she too was worried about the possibility of whatever I have developing into an infection. She gave me antibiotic tablets to take, and something called a mucolytic. These are drugs which go in my food and thin out the gunk I have in my lungs and nose. That should, in theory, make it easier to cough up. Problem is though that I've only sneezed once or twice today, so not much is coming up. Still, I don't care as long as I don't get infection and pneumonia, cuz that would be nasty, nasty, nasty.


Thank you for all of your get better messages. They mean such a lot to me. I hope you'll keep your paws crossed that things get better instead of worse, and your purr motors on. I'm struggling. When I purr I blow snot bubbles and then I have to stop and clean my nose and then I forget that I was purring. When I put my head down to eat, my nose gets all blocked, and I don't know about you, but food's the last thing on my mind when I can't breathe. The human has been hand feeding me sometimes, which helps a little, but I just wish I could eat normally. So does the human, cuz if I don't eat what's down, I won't get all of the mucolytic. It's taken me all day to eat a quarter of a pouch of foods and that's not like me. Hopefully the antibiotics are starting their work! I'll keep you posted.

Preparations

Friends, today and yesterday have been busy, busy, busy! The human has had a lot to do. She's been washing my food bowls, folding the clothes that peoples use to cover their hairless skins with, putting her smelly purfume and her hairbrush out, and then packing the smaller version of the computer with the talking man in it, into the suitcase. This is called a laptop for any of you who are wondering. Of course, I had to snoopervise everything that was going on. No packed suitcase is complete without a liberal coating of Tia hair over its contents, so dutifully, I climbed in there, dug through the neat piles, rolled around and generally had myself a good time! The human didn't share in my enthusiasm for this passtime, but I've discovered that it's a sure fire way of getting picked up very, very quickly! Let me outline the steps for you in case you're wanting to train your people to scoop you up on command.




Step one: Find an open, partially or fully packed suitcase. This, I warn you, can be tricky. I know the human has them in our house, but they remain hidden for most of the time. Sure, I find empty ones, but the full ones only seem to come out from hiding a few times in any given year. A lot of biding your time and waiting for your chance will be necessary to achieve this step.





Step two: Investigate. This should be done in a polite, gentle manner of course. Make sure your people is watching you as you daintily step and sniff all over the contents of the case. Note: If you dive in, claws flailing, tail lashing, play fighting everything in sight, the people will pick you up all right, but will simply toss you out of the room if you're a repeat offender. No, you need to convince them that you are innocently curious. Pretend you've never seen a full suitcase before if you have to, no matter how many times you've been in one. If they think you're only investigating, they'll excuse you more if, or more appropriately when, you decide to get a little more rambunctuous. Shout and yell at your peoples if they aren't in the room with you when you carry out this step. It's imperritive that they watch this bit. Repeat a few times for good measure.





Step three: It doesn't matter whether the people sees you do this or not. In fact, it's probably better that they don't, cuz then you get to have more fun time, and still be picked up at the end for a snuggle. Sneak up to the suitcase. Crouch. Twitch your tail a few times. Crouch a bit lower. Fix your eyes on something that you want in that case. Make up, perfume and underwear are likely to get you the maximum attention in tthe fastest time. Twitch the tail a few more times, then jump. Claws should be out, burrowing instinct should be on full. Dive into the middle of that case and then pretend you're a wiggly cat wormy who needs to get all the way to the bottom. Once you're down there, explode out of the middle of the clothes, preferably holding the treasure in your mouth. Wriggle around on top for a bit to make the pile comfy, then lie back and enter bunnykicking heaven. It's at this point that your people will snatch you out of the case and remove the treasure from your teeth.





Step 4: Immediately go limp and pliant in their arms. Melt against them. Give their chin head bumpies. if you can bring yourself to do it, give them a "Wasn't that fun?" and "Would you like to play too?" miaow. The more kitten-like, the better. Maintain an expression of total innocence and kittenish curiosity. If that doesn't make your people go all gooey and snuggle you close, you obviously need to own a different one. There's no way they'll get cross at you after that.





You can repeat these steps as many times as you like, but be careful to leave an interval of at least half an hour between attacks. They seem to tire quickly of the game if you do it any more frequently than that.





Despite what my human calls my interference, the suitcase is all packed and ready to go. She zipped it all up tight before she left for the work hunt today so that I couldn't have any more fun with it. I'm not pleased about this. I'm a little concerned too. On my play in there, I didn't see one single ping pong ball or a mousey! The human says that's cuz the last two times we've gone to Dogman's house we've left all the toys we brought up there, and that there'll be plenty of things there for me, but I struggle with this concept. Less than a billion ping pong balls is not plenty!





Anyway, I'm off. I need to nap before my big, long journey! Gotta be well rested to greet the admiring public, after all. See you on the other side!

Short and Sweet

Sorry, folks, but this is going to be a short post as the human, selfish thing that she is, says she's too busy to write for me today. Why, you might ask. Well, allow me to tell you.






It's because we're going on a journey. We're heading up to Dogman's place tomorrow evening cuz the human needs to help him out. he had some important teaching to do at his work hunt place in the evening on Thursday, but what with his grandad and all, he just hasn't had the inclination to prepare anything for the session. It's top level massage stuff which the human knows well cuz she's a physio. For her, there's no preparation needed, really, but she said she'd do it for him so that he didn't have to worry.





Grandad's funeral is on Friday, so she's going to stay up there for that. She says she won't go. She hates hates hates funerals, and would rather just remember them as they were, without having the final closure of the ceremony. So she'll travel back to Dogman's house (the teaching place is a little bit away, so she'll stay over that night, then come back to Dogman's the day after in the morning). That means she can look after Dogman's sister's humankittens when they come home from school, so that Dogman's sister can go to the funeral too. She'll also be looking after Dogface so that Dogman doesn't have to worry about her for those few days.





But there's more, cuz guess what? I'll be coming too! Oh yes I will. The human says she'd rather have me with her for the weekend so that she's not worrying in case I get sick or anything. She says if I liked the cat sitter that she uses, she'd not worry about leaving me, but when that lady comes, I hiss and spit and hide from her, so she wouldn't really be able to check me out to make sure I wasn't sick. Anyway, I like being with the human better, and I know Dogman's house now, so it won't be stressy or anything. Plus, I get to try out my new backpack carrier. It came a few days ago. The human got puppy training pads for the bottom of it cuz it's going to be a long, looooong journey. So if I do have an accident, it doesn't matter. It'll soak up real good. That's a relief for me, cuz that was mighty embarrassing last time!





But that's why she's busy tonight. us ladycats don't travel light, you know. There's litter and foods and a box and more foods and ping pong balls to be packed. There might be some room left for human stuff to go in there too, but just maybe. She's doing all that tonight, plus cleaning my boxes too (I have two in the house) so that they're all nice and fresh for when I come back. nice of her, isn't it? But it means she's running around like crazy tonight trying to get it all done, cuz we leave straight after the work hunt is over tomorrow.





Shoot me for saying it, but I'm kinda looking forward to seeing Dogface again. The house just hasn't been the same without her idiocy. The stupidity highlights my cleverness, so it did have its use. Ah well, I'll have a weekend of it. I will update you when I can.

Tortureshell Tuesday: Santa Paws and Competition

Well, today should be Tortureshell Tuesday, but in light of the Santa Paws approach, I categorically refuse to admit to anything at all which might be seen as naughty. Perhaps this in itself is a Tortureshell though, cuz, let's face it, every cat should be doing something less than agreeable in their people's eyes. It's all part of the training and teaches them never to think that they are coming close to training us, or to encourage the common misconception among peoples, the human included, that they own us.





The human had to give me another horrible bath today, and it was all her fault. She's been putting this horrid, nasty stuff in my ears. Honestly, I'd swear sometimes they have no more sense than a kitten. They do have the unfortunate ability to pick you up and hold you still no matter how much you struggle though.





I compare this episode to a kitten's irrepressible urge to see what will happen when they do a certain thing; the action reaction principle. Bite mummy's tail once too often and you'll get a swat. Stick your face in your food and you'll have a dirty face and no dinner for your troubles. Put ear cleaner in a cat's ears and you'll have... a cat covered in the stuff and ears which are no cleaner. The human tried it for a day, but it was so oily that every time I shook my head it all came out and covered my poor face and ears. Oh, it was awful stuff. Imagine having a perpetually wet face, for that is what it feels like when you have fur matted with horrid oil. I kept shaking my head to try and rid myself of it. I was miserable. I didn't want cuddles or interaction or anything really. What's more, the oil irritated my skin and I got to scratching so much that I was pulling lumps of my beautiful fur out. At that point the human had had enough, and in the bath I went.





For once, I didn't mind it. I knew it would rid me of the horrible oil, but having water put on your face, then horrible smelly foamy stuff is no more pleasant than the oil. Even though I knew the purpose, I still shouted at her. In fact, I even burst into a bit of operatic song too. I was simply celebrating the release from the ear cleaner, but I knew that, to the human, it would sound like I was dying a thousand painful, slow deaths. I was hoping to tug on her heartstrings and get something nice. It worked, but not quite as well as I'd hoped.





Today, the human had a little help to go shopping, and she came back with a bag that smelled very, very interesting. I got very excited. I wanted to see what the contents were, but as soon as I started to explore, she took it from me and hid it in the kitchen, a place I'm not allowed sept when the human's in there. By singing, I hoped she would feel so sorry for me that she'd give me the interesting things from the bag, but she didn't. She says they're for our Santa Paws, but she did give in and reveal that she bought me some things too. I have her so well trained that she says she couldn't imagine looking at all the nice things in the shop and buying some for another cat and not for me. For once, human, you show a glimmer of sense! I got tuna for my pains, which isn't so bad. Even though we have stinky goodness in the house now, she says I can finish off this tin of tuna before she opens that. I'm not really complaining.





Tori/Ushi, Santa Paws is a super event like the peoples version of Secret Santa only for more important persons like cats. Dogfaces like you are included too. My human says she's sorry that you didn't know about it, cuz it would have been nice for you to get involved too. She says we can do Secret Santa with you if you like, even though it won't be very secret cuz you know who's telling Santa Paws what you want. Still, at least you can get presents that way.





Catnip Crew, I will take your advice to heart, or rather, to bottom, and begin to sit on her keyboard so she can't type. I'm sick of her ignoring me! Amy, I don't mind sharing my tuna with you and your friends, but please can you leave some for me? Also, you're featuring us in Friends on Friday? Wow, that's terriffic! Thank you very much! She sent the job application thing to another people today who she says will read it, then send it to more peoples to read so they can decide if she's good enough. So time wasteful to do it that way, and if the amount she's written is any indicator, she's good enough to run the world! Puss-Puss, are you sure about Santa Paws not minding? I know the human version seems to care, so I don't wanna take any chances. Praline, thank you for the advice on the package! Hestorb, I am so glad you appreciate the gravity of the situation. It's nice of you to offer to share in my torture, very brave and noble. I'll tell the human to get out another bowl. Welcome to hell! Karen, so nice of you to drop by, and I'm glad you'll be returning! The human says she has a mothersister, an auntie she calls her, with the same name as yours, only hers is spelled Caron. Don't tell, but it's spelled funny cuz the mummypeople and the daddypeople liked the sound but didn't know the letters for it! Silly peoples.





our competition for Soft Claws ends tonight, so don't forget to enter! See last Wednesday's post for details. you only have a few hours left! Remember, tell us something naughty about the website, then something naughty you've done, and finally what colour and size of Soft Claws you'd like. Good luck! Now, I'm off to tuna torture. Coming?

Bad, Bad Human

She's doing that thing again, you know the one where she doesn't be a good secretary for me? That one. She says she's been stupidly busy all weekend, and has just been too tired to post. Rubbish, I say.


We've had an eventful weekend. Dogface got sick again. She had to go stay with the vet peoples on Saturday, and she's only just come home today. So it seems that Mr Bug is back. He's come to visit the human a little bit, but not me yet, thankfully. He obviously knows that if he did, I'd whap him good! So he avoids me.


The human has also been doing more of the papers that she calls job applications. They seem to take a very, very long time to complete. It makes me mad that she spends so much time writing on papers that I can't see the point of, yet she won't give me ten minutes a day to write a post! She says that she's looking ahead to the future, that she's trying to make it better for us. I find this hard to believe. With such a limited capacity as peoples have, I'm of the opinion that it would tax their brains too much to try and predict the future, but they will insist on trying, silly things. She says if she gets any of these jobs, we can move to a new house, but how exactly this is supposed to be better, I don't know. She says it brings her closer to her old friends, but all that means for me is less lap time. I'm not sure I'm keen on that idea.


One thing I am keen on though is Santa Paws. I got my person who I'm giving stuff to today, and me and the human are very, very excited. We've started shopping already! We have a question though. when you send off your gift, are you sposed to put something in there that tells the person who you are, or does it stay a secret for ever and ever and ever? I ask cuz I don't want to do something naughty... Gotta be nice to make sure you get gifts from Santa Paws, after all!


Hey, have you noticed my side bar? Clowder helped me put up lotsa goodies called site counters. They're one of the few peoples invensions that I can see a use for. They let us see how many of you come to see us every day, and that's pretty neat, isn't it?


We're all out of stinky goodness too. The human ordered some ages and ages and ages ago, but when the parcel came today, it had everything in it that we ordered sept the foods. I'm very upset about this, but nowhere near as angry as the human. She's furious, and has written to ask the company why they didn't send it. Good human. It's acceptable, even encouraged, to get righteously angry when my foods don't turn up. Ah well, guess it's more tuna tonight instead. how shall I manage! I don't know, but manage I shall. Somehow.


Until tomorrow. I don't know if I'll have a Tortureshell though. Too risky if I wanna be sure of getting gifts. I'll bide my time till January. Um, I mean I'll never have a Tortureshell again, Mr Santa. Never!

Snow Day

It's crazy here. There's white stuff everywhere, and it often looks like the sky is falling apart. It comes down in huge flurries just like rain does, only this stuff seems to float on the wind instead of falling. The human came in from taking Dogface for a pee today and there was some in her hair. I didn't show any interest. To be honest, I didn't want to get close to it. If it's bits of sky, then it must be very heavy, and I don't want to risk one of them falling on me accidentally.





The human says we have over four inches of white sky on the ground now. She still can't go to the work hunt. I was worried about this as it could mean no foods for me until she told me that she'd just ordered some more which might arrive tomorrow, and that the work hunt would still give her moneys even though she was at home cuz she couldn't travel in because of the white sky falling. I'll never understand peoples. I mean, I'm glad they're giving her the moneys cuz we need them for food and tuna and ping pong balls and catnip and, I suppose, for human stuff too, but why are they giving her moneys when she didn't even hunt anything for them? It makes no sense at all. That's like someone having a ping pong ball and not playing with it. It's mind boggling!





She's been working on the text of a website today, so there's been a lot of tippy-tapping. She's made time for snuggling with me though, so I can't complain too much. She even gave me nip today, but she put it on the carpet instead of letting me eat it out of her hand like I usually do. I was a bit nonplused and just stared at it. What, did she think I was going to turn into Dogface and eat it off the carpet? I don't think so! "But Tia," she said, "You're supposed to roll around in it and get all excited and stuff." Roll around? I've never rolled in nip before in my life, sept that fresh plant she brought home and when I did that, she complained about me squishing it and killing it. Honestly, she never seems to be able to make up her mind!





I was reading about Herman's nip ball today. I've never had one, but I think it's something I should have. The human says she's never heard of them either. If you ask me, that's a lame excuse. Just cuz she doesn't know what it is or where to get it doesn't mean it's Ok for me to be deprived, does it!





Speaking of toys, we're going to order our things for Santa Paws soon. The human is very excited about this. Half of me is, cuz we get to give toys to other cats and show them what we have in England, and part of me isn't, cuz, whatever way you look at it, it's hard to see that many nip toys go somewhere else when they've been in your house. I'm sure nobody would mind if I tested a few of them out, right?





In response to some comments, Kassey, I sure do have catitude, in fact, I've got tortitude! If you look carefully, you should see the tortie on my face and feet and tail. I'm not sure how well it's come out in the photo though. For the most part, I pretend I don't have tortitude so that the human thinks she's trained me. Trained! Laughable, isn't it? Every now and again though, it comes bursting out of me, and I just can't keep it hidden enough when I have photos taken, which is why you and your people spotted it! I'd love to show you my white sky, but the human doesn't have anyone here with a flashy box and working eyes to take a picture for her. It's a pity, as she says it would probably be a beautiful sight. It's all piled up on our grass outside.





Catnip Lounge crew, did you perplex your people in the end by sleeping in strange spots? I hope you did. What fun! Tori, thanks for the suggestion about the counter. Clouder, I have to apologise for my human who, once again, has been slow. She says she promises to email you tonight, but we need to know if the address you gave us is the one you want added to our blog? We still love the idea of a counter!





Ok, that's all from me. It's Dogface's time to go out in the white sky again. I'm glad she gets to freeze in place of me!

Perplexing Peoples

I had planned today to continue my diatribe on the subject of toilets, and, while I still intend to do it, I've got more material than just that.

I think we might have mentioned the Hoover Lady was not coming back to the human's place any more to work with us. This meant that the human has had to go interviewing for a new hoover lady to come instead. It's hard work finding the right one, as she found out tonight.

The trouble started right as he walked in the door. He couldn't be another hoover lady cuz he wasn't a she. I pointed this out to the human, but she was too busy making polite talk noise with him, so didn't listen. It's not often that I take a dislike to peoples on sight. I'll do the propper thing and ignore them when they come in of course, but that's more my way of showing that I think it's disgusting that they usually go gaa-gaa over stupid Dogface first. Admittedly, she is barking and slobbering all over them while I'm staying well back and watching in a more dignified manner which perhaps could be seen as aloof, but that's no excuse. Even peoples should have the sense to say hello to cats first. I'll wait until they fight off the dogface, sit down and dry their hands of all her slobberstink before I will show my absolute superiority by walking onto the sofa next to them in a very quiet and gentle manner. I need no overt attention grabbing moves to ensure peoples love me!

Tonight was different though. As soon as Dogface saw the hoover lady replacement, she started growling, and it wasn't her usual growl either. This one meant business. Luckily, the human had thought to put her on her lead, so she couldn't get at him. Even when he'd sat down though, she made no attempt to come and greet him. I watched closely, but didn't like what I saw either. While he was in, I didn't once move from the arm of the sofa by the human, either to greet him or to go eat some of my foods.

The human has put in the job description that the ability to be comfortable with animals is a must. Even when Dogface was just doing her normal barking before she started growling, he seemed very nervous, and things only got worse when the human asked him about cats. he had lived with one, but get this. He expected him to hunt for a living! He only fed him very rarely, and even though he lived indoors, Hoover Lady replacement never once picked him up or cuddled him. That's outrageous! I can't believe that this replacement never even considered giving him tuna or cuddles! Luckily replacement's mum wasn't so harsh.

I'd had a chat with the human before the man people came, cuz I wanted to get my interview technique good and propper. She agreed that it must be a joint interview between the two of us, and to help proceedings along, I'd especially worked up a good case of the runny eyes. The human didn't clean it just to see if the replacement would notice. Even after prompting, he didn't say a thing about it. All he did was complain about the number of toys all over the place. That got him a massive thumbs down from me... If I had thumbs, I mean.

The human doesn't much like him either, so I guess his fate is sealed. Buh-bye, Replacement. We hardly knew ye... And I for one am glad of it!

So, on to more important things. Human toilet behaviour, part two. She must have been outraged by what I'd written yesterday, and perhaps she was just trying to prove a point, but late last night I heard what was akin to sweet music to my ears. I heard scratching from the box. It was the one in the bathroom rather than the one I'd had set up for her convenience in the living room, but still, you can't win 'em all, right? With baited breath and no small excitement I hot footed it into the bathroom to watch the human do her first propper toilet. What I first saw made me proud. She had a hand in the box and she was scratching around (human note: I use gloves and plastic bags. I have to scoop by hand to have a hope of finding the poo, but I'm hygienic, I promise!). On second sight, what I saw made me more than a little disgusted. She withdrew her hand, and my hopes with it, but that's not all she took from the box. In her clutches was, well, the same thing that the horrible vet peoples stole from me not so long ago. What on earth was she doing! I couldn't believe firstly that she would contaminate herself by touching it if she didn't have to, and secondly that she was exposing my scent to any lurking predators such as Dogface and the spider wand toy that always bops me on the head. Oh, and the feathers too. Didn't she realise the danger?

Frantically, I tried to communicate this to her, but she took no notice. What's more, there was worse to come. With absolute disbelief I watched her turn to her water bowl, open the cover that she puts on it, then drop my um, poopoo into the clean water. I was outraged, and not a little revolted. This was a dreadful way to make a point. She had obviously read between the lines and noted my contempt of human stupidity yesterday when I was speaking of how they didn't have the sense not to contaminate their own water, and now, even though I didn't engineer it that way, I'm part of that contamination. Was it coincidence that she scratched, that she made me think she was doing what I wanted to draw me in, then committed the worst sin when I was there to watch the dirty deed? Or was she removing all traces for the enemy to follow, for, although it pains me no end to admit it, next time I used that box it did smell a lot cleaner, a lot less attention drawing, and once she'd poured more water on the waste to make it go away, I couldn't smell it in the bathroom either. I am at a loss to know what is going on. Did she do it to spite me, or is she operating on instincts so deep that she doesn't even need to be taught to get rid of poopoo far away from the place of safety where you live? I'd thought they had no sensible instincts left in them, but was I wrong? I'm sorry to say that for once I have no answers. This owning the human can be very confusing at times.

There's some super news to lighten the indignity though. We've had another person enter our competition! This brings the number up to 2 and a bit. One cat left a comment saying how great Soft Claws were, but not why she wanted them or what size and colour she needed, so we're not sure if she wants to be entered or not. Still though, this leates entry means we have one more!

Thank you to all those who commented on yesterday's post. The hit counter is an excellent idea, but I'm not sure how accessible they will be with Screen Reader. That's the little man in the computer whose job it is to read all the writing to the human. He must get so tired of doing that, you know. Anyway, he's not the smartest of little men, so sometimes he can't cope with difficult coding or reading things that have graphics. One of you offered to help us put one in, and if it's Ok, we'll take you up on that and see how it goes.

Amy and her Cats said that one of these days they're going to have me as a Friends on Friday. I'm super excited about that, oh yes I am! There's also the chance that a person who makes a living out of annoying peoples and cats by pointing one of those flashy boxes at them is going to come and take pictures of me. They used to only do peoples weddings but now, sensibly, they've decided to branch out and want lots of cat pictures. I told them I thought I'd be just perfect, and they're thinking about it. If they come, the human will only have to give them moneys to feed the big metal machine (the human says it's a car but I know better) so that he can run all the way from their house to mine and back again. I'm a bit worried about this. I send her to work to get those moneys for my foods. I'm not sure I like the idea of it going into someone else's belly. He needn't think he's getting any of my tuna! If they do come though, it means lots and lotsa pictures for the blog which is super!

Anyway, enough from me for today. I need to work on sleeping off the memory of replacement.

Finally Friday

The human loves Fridays because they mean that the next two days are days she doesn't have to go to the work hunt. So you can imagine my confusion today when she said "Oh, it's Friday. That means I get to go back to work on Monday!" What? I was confused. How could she change her mind like that? She says it's because she's had too much time at home, but all I can do is shake my head. Peoples are so inconsistent!

I'm secretly glad that she's considering going back to the work hunt though. Even though I know she was staying at home to look after me and get well herself, it's a bit of a worry that she hasn't gone in in ages. The longer she stays at home, the less moneys she will have to swap for my foods at the place where they take the moneys.

I didn't make the human post for me yesterday cuz there isn't really much to say. We're all just sleeping a lot. Dogface has managed to stay awake a little today, but me and the human make our eyes shut every time we snuggle.

The human is also a little worried today. She thinks my runny poo has come back. She's not sure because it's so liquid that it just soaks straight through the litter so she doesn't know if it's pee or poo. I'm too polite to answer the question when she asks me which it is. I'm Ok though. I'm not obviously dehydrated or anything, so I've told her just to wait and see how things progress. She's watching me very, very closely though.

Yesterday was the last time I got stinky wet food. The human says she was only giving me it cuz it's easier to digest and that I don't need it any more. I disagree though. It's so much nicer than the dried stuff. I am going to work on her and see if I can get any more out of her, but after the last fiasco with the home made chicken and turkey, she says she's not in a rush to cook up anything fancy. Who knows. I might get fish tonight!

We're in for a quiet weekend, I hope. There is a lot of strange howling outside the house which the human says is wind. It's a bit spooky late at night, and I'm kinda glad I don't have to go out in it. The human says it's very strong, and that if I went out it might even blow me over. The wind must be a very, very big thing! I don't think I'll go meet him until I get my strength back up.

Stupid Dogface has her fifth session of hydro tonight. The human doesn't want to go out of the house, but she knows she has to. She's been groaning about it ever since she remembered the hydro was tonight. That's what she gets for owning a stupid Dogface! She saw Dogface's bones vet when the human picked us up from hospital. He said that he didn't see a need to retire her, but Guide Dogs disagree. The human has a suspicion that they're retiring her more because she walks funny than because she's uncomfortable. It's bad PR for them to have a dog out that is less than perfect, and they know it. She talked to the HG about this, and the HG told her stories about her own experience with Guide Dogs that confirmed her suspicions. If the human didn't think Molly was going to a super home, she'd fight the retirement, but she knows Molly will be happier as a pet anyway, so she's going to let them think they've won this time.

Sensibly, she says she doesn't know if she'll ask for another Dogface once this one goes. She wants to see if she can manage without one. They're a big commitment, and if she can cope without making that, she's decided she will.

In any case, enough about Dogfaces. This blog is about me! I think I'm going to send some pictures in for the CB calendar. I'd kinda like to be a calendar cat. It would go with my top model show career after all, wouldn't it? Hopefully I'll get to go on April's page, cuz that's when my birthday is. Watch this space!

The Great Unknown

I'm not even talking about outside, oh no! I'm talking about peoples. I was just looking back through my old posts, when I found this comment.

Tia, I don't suppose your human has told you about me, but she's my kitten, which I guess makes me your human grandma. She had three sibling cats when she was young, but in those days she thought humans were better than cats and refused to relate to them as sisters and brother. Now she's all grown up and knows better. I'm sorry if this hurts, but I'm not ready to be a great grandma yet, so I guess I was a bit relieved about the ghost kittens. But I'll have got my head around the idea by the time you have your flesh and blood babies, which will hopefully be very soon. I might even adopt one of them... Love and kisses from HG

What? Um, wait a minute! Nobody told me about this lady people! And now she thinks she's my grandma?

I didn't have a clue who the lady people was, but she'd given me a clue to solving the mystery. She said that the human was her kitten. That must mean that HG, as she calls herself, is my human's mummypeople. I needed to talk to her about this, so I waited until she was in the middle of doing something then went and shouted at her until she sat down with me for a few minutes. Why, you might ask, didn't I just pick a quiet time so that I wouldn't have to shout? Well, I reason that when she's quiet she wants to snuggle. When she's busy, she obviously doesn't mind conversation. She did moan about being interrupted, but I know it's only a save face gesture really.

I sat on her, then I lay down, then I rolled to my back and made her rub my yummy tummy. This was just to make sure she couldn't move, you understand (they do have a bad habit of getting up and walking away right as you're in the middle of telling them something). "Human," I said sternly, "You have a mummypeople. Why didn't you tell me!" She didn't answer my question. She only said, "what else do you want? I'm tickling you already!" I tried again and again, but it wasn't until later when she'd fed her stomach monster that she really got listening to me. I won't go through the whole conversation. It's full of too many boring people words. Let me summarise for you.

The human does indeed have a mummypeople. It seems strange to think of her being a kitten. She says she's not any more, and tried to explain it as being similar to my relationship with Mummycat. Even though Mummycat still looks at me as a kitten, it doesn't mean I am. So this Mummypeople of hers is very far away at the moment. The human says she's travelling the world for a year. A year? What in the world takes her so long? I mean, it's not as if it's miles or anything. I travel my world in about ten seconds flat at an all out run. Peoples are so slow compared to us, aren't they?

But there was one even more important area to clear up. The three cat siblings. The human got a funny look on her face when I asked her about this and just laughed. She says her mummypeople really used to tease her about the cats. They got two kittens when the human was only a half-grown kitten herself. She didn't like cats back then. I stopped her here. Didn't like cats? I'm sorry, but I can't believe that. I called her out on her lie, but she maintains that it was true. Dishonest human!

Anyway, back to these kittens. they were named Nelson and Peaches, boy and girl, except that Nelson turned out to be Peaches and Peaches Nelson. See? They can't even get smart enough to sex us propperly! Imagine the indignity of being a mancat with a name like Peaches! He sorted this out though. The human says he was a terror. He knew she didn't like him and would deliberately go out of his way to get in her face. Nelson was timid and mostly just hid. Peaches unfortunately had a fight with a car which he didn't win, and Nel got to be very old before she just didn't wake up from a sleep.

The human says that after Peaches left, her mummypeople got Flossy-Jane who was even worse than Peaches! She bit and scratched everyone, attacked from under chairs and everything. The mummypeople just loved her all the more because of it. Strangely, the only one she was nice to was the human even though she didn't like her. Knowing that the human didn't, her mummypeople used to tease her about the cats being her brother and sisters. Boy did she hate that!

I have to admit, I hated the thought of her having other cats. I'm her one and only! Do you hear me, world? Her one and only!

Now, this last message is for the mummypeople. Mummypeople, in the nicest, politest way possible, I need to tell you that you are not my grandma, well, kind of not. The human isn't my mummycat, you see, and if she isn't my mummycat, you can't be my grandma. However, this empty bowl does have a fishy lining. I like the fact that you hinted you might adopt one of my babycats. The human says you love the cats who own you very, very much, so we know the baby would have a great home with you. Because of that, I like you, and because of that I will agree to call you HG (human grandma). This is only on the condition though that it doesn't make the human start thinking that she can boss me around like a kitten and actually expect me to start obeying her as though she was a mummycat. Isn't it enough that I don't bite her good when she brushes my yummy tummy? I don't know what else she wants, but I don't want her getting a false sense of her own importance either. If you are happy with that arrangement, then HG, I welcome you to my world. Now, stop being so slow, travel the rest of your world at a run, then come to mine with treats and food and mousies and belly rubs and, oh, did I mention treats? I'd even let you cuddle me and everything!

Disclaimer: I am not in the least bit shallow, and my affections are not transparent. They cannot be bought with treats alone... Chicken and fish are also a requirement of contract.

Tortureshell Tuesday

Happy days are here again! This is my favourite day of the week, you know that? I try my hardest to be bad, bad, bad, and if the human's reactions are anything to go by, I succeed!

First thing's first though. I know you're all desperate to know whether I survived through yesterday. I'm going to keep you all in suspense a bit longer... I'm not telling yu until at least the end of the next paragraph, so there!

It was very touch and go. That light at the end of the tunnel I was talking about made me feel all warm and sleepy. I fought hard to keep my eyes open, to move away from the light, but when sun is shining on your fur and you're tucked in a comfy sprawl on a very soft sofa that smells of the nice human that makes you feel good, what are you supposed to do? I did try, but the next thing I knew, I was waking up.

Oh, my belly! It was growling and grumbling and girgling like you wouldn't believe. It frightened me. Was there a monster in there trying to get out? Was it hungry enough that it would eat me? Terrified by this notion, I got up and started to hunt for food. If I could only feed it, it might leave me alone.

I walked to the place where the food usually is, but nothing. I tried to jump on the desk which is where she puts it at night, but I couldn't get there because her typing thing was in the way. When I jump on that, the little squares give under my feet and I don't like it. I went to the food mountain bag in the hall, but she had it all wrapped up tight. I went into the kitchen to see if there was even any of that horrible chicken on the floor. Do you see how desperate I was at this point? Little kibbles were swimming in my vision and everything! Even the chicken was better than nothing!

It is here that Tortureshell Tuesday starts. The human has this rule, yes, I know, another one. She's really, really, really big on this one though, so much so that she really busts me if I break it. The rule is that no cat or dog is allowed on the worktops in the kitchen. I think this is hipocritical. She makes food up there. she sometimes even picks stuff up to eat from there once it's made and on a plate. I'm usually religious about not testing her on this rule because I don't like it when she chases me out of the kitchen, but I was starving. I could see my own bones and that monster was growling even more than before. I couldn't risk being eaten. I had to try.

I lined myself up, took a deep breath and jumped. Several things happened at once then. First of all, my paws landed on something shiny. Then the shiny thing jumped up, hit me on the nose and dumped me back on the floor. As if that wasn't bad enough, it then chased me down and landed with an enormous bang on the floor. I'm usually quite brave, but this was just too much for me. I turned tail and fled, hoping that the baby gate designed to keep the kitchen safe from stupid Dogface would also keep the shiny monster behind. Luckily, it did.

I went back a little later for a sneaky look and saw a big plate lying innocently on the floor. It wasn't moving, but I wasn't taking any chances. I'd seen what it did to me, and I knew that it was just waiting for me to get close enough so that it could jump up and whap me again. I didn't know plates could do that, but I guess the human has employed them as guardians of the worktop when she's not around. I'm not sure I'll break that rule again.

There was torture in store for me too though. On that plate there had been a bread crust, and oh how I wanted it. It was on the floor right by the plate and it was staring at me and calling me, but the plate was in the way! i can't describe the agony this caused me, but I knew I daren't get it. I left and went back to the light in the tunnel.

When my human came home, I told her all about what had happened to me and how hungry I was, but she only said, "wow, you're talking a lot today, aren't you?" She did give me food though. I tried hard to keep her out of the kitchen, to keep her safe from the plate, but as usual, she didn't listen. She almost stood on it, but kicked it instead. Then, to my astonishment, she reached down and picked it up without showing even the tiniest sign of fear! I am in awe of her for that. That takes real guts! "How did this get down here?" she wondered aloud. I told her again what had happened, and then she got that look on her face, the one that means uh-oh, I'd better run cuz I'm in biiiig trouble. "You've been on the worktop, haven't you?" she said ominously. I put on my most innocent face and gave her a pick me up now miaow. She didn't pick me up, but she didn't scold me either. "I guess the plate scared you enough."

She washed the plate straight away, but she left it on the draining board. It fell down this morning and attacked her hand, but again she showed no fear and just put it back where she wanted it. Today, the kitchen door is closed and my chicken is right outside it. She'll have to remember to pick it up when she comes home so that Dogface won't eat it, but I'm kind of glad she closed the door. I feel a bit of relief knowing that there aren't any plates around to get me.

So, I broke a biiiig rule today, but there was also a big payback. Was it worth it? Well of course. I am a tortie, after all.

To answer some of the comments left yesterday, I can't walk across the human's face. I don't like stepping on things that might move. Sticking a claw up her nose sounds like a wonderful idea though! I'm gonna try that the next time she doesn't wake up to give me tummy rubs when I want them. I didn't give her a head massage last night. I don't think she deserved one after setting the plates on me. I did sleep by her tummy though, all cuddled in close. What! It was cold, all right? As for eating Dogface, I promise you I shall never, ever, ever, ever, (have I mentioned ever yet?) be that desperate! She stinks worse than the chicken! If I ate her, I'd surely die of dog germs or dog breath or, well, dog! Ew, no!

Now, to kill the suspense... I DID survive! Yes, I know it's unbelievable, but I managed to pull through! Thank you all so much for caring about my fate. It means a lot to me to know that not all are as heartless as that human! Now, to find another rule to break...

Famine Strikes!

The human says she hates this time of the week, and I can't blame her really. This is the morning where, after all of her rest over the weekend, she has to go back to the work hunt. Whilst I understand that it must be a hard life to get up and have to go out early before the sun is all the way up, this doesn't mean that I am sympathetic. After all, if she didn't hunt, she'd not be able to feed me. I reminded her of this by waking her a full hour before she was supposed to get up, even though she hadn't gone to bed until late the night before. "Get off my face, Tia!" she spluttered when I crawled on the pillow and flopped on top of her. This is my way of saying good morning, and I don't see what all her fussing is about. I mean, there's not a problem with my yummy tummy on her head, if you ask me. I eventually gave in though and role doff to lie beside her instead.

I discovered a new thing this morning. It's great for two reasons. Firstly, it's a comfort, and secondly, it's guaranteed to keep the human awake, which means I get a prolonged snuggling session. the secret? Knead on your people's head. Honestly, it works! My human has long, silky fur on her head, and it feels wonderful pulling through my paws. There's good skin underneath too, which gives you something to pad against and get a grip on. I couldn't understand why she kept flinching and putting her hand between my paws and her head. Doesn't she understand the giving of love? Do you have such stupid peoples that you own? Please tell me I'm not the only one!

I gave in yesterday, but only a little bit. The human gave me more of the food she'd made, and this time, she put some of my dry food in with it. I ate that, but in the process, a little bit of the mush got on my tongue! It wasn't that bad, so I ate a little more, but only a little. I don't want her thinking she's won, after all.

But you know what she's done this morning? She's forgotten to put my food down! She puts it away at night time so that stupid dogface can't sneakily get it when she's not there to defend the kill. Whenever dogface is eating, I stick my tail in the air and walk away with utter disdain. This would no doubt shame another cat into stopping eating, for it's not polite to steal another's food, but stupid Dogface is too stupid to understand even the most plain of communications, so she keeps on eating. The human takes me to bed with her and puts food down in the bedroom so that I have something to eat, and then in the morning when she closes the bedroom door, she puts my bowl back in the living room. Today she forgot though. I tried to tell her before she left. I miaowed in a terribly sad voice, but she just tickled my chin and said "hush, now. You know I can't stay here all day and cuddle you. I need to go to work." Then she left!

Friends, I don't know what I'm going to do. It's only been an hour and a half, and already I feel weak. My tummy is girgling because it's so empty. My vision is blurring. I'm so dizzy and unable to stand that I have to lie on the really comfy spot on the sofa and sleep. Will I die? I think I will, and it will serve that human right. she remembered about the bowl when she got to the work hunt, and all she said was "I'm worried, but I know she'll be all right. It's not as though I'm gone for ages, and she isn't skin and bone." She's a heartless, cruel human! I can hardly miaow I'm so close to the end, and what does she say? Typical!

I don't know if I shall blog again, friends. This may be goodbye. To expect me to survive for seven and a half hours without food is too much of an ask. I must go and sleep now. And no, I am not kneading the sofa and lying in a sun puddle to get comfy. The kneading is the nervous spasms and the sun puddle is, well, erm, it just happens to be there! It's the light at the end of the tunnel! Yes, that's it. Goodbye, cruel world, goodbye!

Dogfaces and Food

There isn't really much to report today. The human didn't go to the work hunt, and I always like the days where she stays home. We got to sleep in bed late in the monring, which meant extra snuggle time for me. Something bad happened though. It's about the human's iPod and me attacking the wires, but that, I think, will have to remain a secret until Tortureshell Tuesday.

When we did get up, we didn't really do much. The human cleaned and I slept. She made something that she calls home-made cat food tonight. She boiled up a lot of chicken and turkey in a pan, then put it in a really, really noisy machine that growled louder than even a big mancat! It was so fierce that it managed to reduce the meat to pulp, and that was done without it even showing its teeth! I never thought I'd say this, but I think I've met my match. I'm staying away from the growler.

The human left one half of the food as just meat, but blended some egg and cheese in with the other stuff. She put a little of each down in my bowl so that she could work out which one I liked best. Now I've told you about new food before, haven't I? I went through the same drill as usual. It wasn't tuna. It wasn't my usual chicken. "Human," I thought as I turned my nose up and walked away with my tail at the precise angle which says I am justifiably offended at this lack of consideration for my wants, "that is not what I asked you for. I said tuna very plainly. If you're not going to listen, then I'm not going to be nice and eat the food." "But Tia," she almost whined, "I went to a lot of effort to make that. It took a long time!" I had to stop myself from telling her that I didn't care. I do care, and I'm touched that she went to all that trouble, but right then I was too cheesed off that I wasn't getting what I'd asked for. I've left it alone, and I won't go back to it at all, or at least not while she's watching.

I forgot to tell you yesterday in the excitement of finding my babies that stupid dogface went to see two vets in one day. That's what you get for being a stupid dogface, I guess. She went to see the skin man vet that Guide Dogs uses. She really, really likes him, and so does the human. I considered going with them just to see what all the fuss was about, but then thought better of it. It was a long drive, and there was another stupid dogface puppy in the car too. The human says she's called Gloria, is going in to be trained as a guide dog, and is very cute! Just goes to show that dogs aren't the only stupid things. She jumped all over the human and even tried to climb in her lap when they got to the guide dog place. That lap is for me and me alone to sit on! How dare a dogface, even a puppy dogface, think she can go there just because I'm not around!

The skin man vet said that Molly's ears and skin are so good on her injections that she doesn't need to see him again until next year. The human was pleased about that. She says she's been in vets too often lately. In the evening she went again though, so that they could put stupid dogface in a tank full of water where the floor moves under your feet and disappears. Molly says that if you didn't start to walk, you might disappear with it! The human calls this hydrotherapy and says that the hydro lady vet took a picture of Molly in the tank. She asked her for a copy for the blog, so we'll put it here when it arrives. See how nice I am? I even share my blog with a stupid dogface!

That's all for today. I have some cat food to eat. Um, I mean, I have a human to snuggle! Yes, that's it, snuggles.

Mummycat Monday

Except that I'm not, am I? I still don't understand where my babies have gone to. I've searched everywhere. I've looked under the bed, behind the sofa, even in the bag of dog food. It's pretty stinky in there and I think even a kitten would have the sense not to hide in a smelly place like that, but you never know, right? I got so upset last night that the human thought I might be sick and almost rushed me down to the vet. Yet again! (human note: I really had to convince myself that this lethargy is normal for a grieving mother, that it would go away and that the pitiful crying would stop soon.) I managed to reason with her though. In the end I had to remind her that they'd stolen my kittens and ask her how she'd feel if they stole me too. She gave in then. She doesn't want to lose me too. She says she has to take stupid dogface to the vet tonight for another injection. I wonder if they'll steal her too? One can hope, I suppose.

If there can be a good side to this terrible situation, it's that I have much more food now. The human was worried because I wasn't eating. Well, I ask you, would you eat if you were worried to death about your missing babies? She put food down in the living room and the bedroom, and the biggest bowl I've ever seen in the kitchen right beside where she always feeds me my chicken. I'm not usually allowed in there when the human isn't at home because I sometimes jump on the high places where she makes food so that I can see out of the window, but today she left the door open. She told me she hopes I'll wander in there and eat due to the association of yummy chicken coming from there. I'm not that stupid. If I eat, it'll be through my own choice, not through any human trickery.

I'm still hoping for help from some of you. Somebody must have seen something. Surely a criminal kittennapper can't have come and gone with nobody noticing anything? If I only knew my babies were cared for, it would take the edge off this worry. I'd still not be happy, but at least I'd know they weren't starving somewhere.

I'm so upset that I don't even know if I'm up for Tortureshell Tuesday tomorrow. I'll try, but my heart just isn't in it. The human left one of her sweaters down for me today while she went on the work hunt. I'm cuddling it, but it just isn't the same. I wonder if cats can get runny eyes like peoples do when they are upset?

Sad, Searching Sunday

I am back, friends. I have decided that I need to reclaim my blog from the clutches of the human who was growing to enjoy posting a little too much for my liking. She did a good job with most of it, although I'm sorry that it was all written from the peoples perspective. I keep telling her about that, but she just can't change her perspective enough to write from the point of view of us cats. Ah well, never mind.

To summarise for those of you who went glossy-eyed at the people description of what has happened over the last few days, I had kittens in my tummy, and then somebody stole them! I don't know how it happened or when they took them, but I know they did. Was it the vet? I don't know. I have been down there twice in two days, and each time they were very, very interested in my yummy tummy. I know, I know. It's understandable, but they were interested beyond the usual interest level peoples show. Last night they even stole some of my fur, right under my nose too! So I wouldn't be surprised if they slipped the kittens out when I was preoccupied with seeing where they put my fur. They put cold gel stuff on my tummy and then pushed a hard thing against it. The human says this is to get pictures to see if I have any kittens, but I was a bit confused, as I didn't see a bright light flash, and it wasn't a flashbox. They didn't find any kittens, but no wonder! They had already stolen them!

If it wasn't the vet peoples, maybe another mummycat crept in here at night when me and the human were asleep and stole the babycats out of my tummy without waking me. I know it's possible. We cats sneak really good, so maybe she could have succeeded at this.

Either way though, I have searched and searched for my babies all day long. Even though I didn't have a chance to see them outside of my tummy, I know that I should be caring for them. I get so upset when I can't find them. I'm so worried. What if they're hungry? What if they don't have a mummycat to keep them warm? And even if they do, it's not me! Nobody could take care of my babies as well as me.

My human says I'm "entering the grieving stage of the phantom". I don't know what a phantom is, but I know I'm not in it. I am grieving though, and terribly. I hadn't been eating much anyway, what with getting ready to have my babies, but now I just don't have any apetite. I'm too busy searching to think about food. The human even had to coax me to eat chicken. She's given me a lot of it so that at least I'm eating something, but all I can think about are my missing babies.

I have adopted the human too. I've already lost my family. I don't want to lose her too. I've stayed very close to her all day and have made her come into whatever room I'm searching in so that I can keep an eye on her. I can't let her out of my sight. I get so worried when she goes somewhere that I can't see that I cry and cry until she comes back. She knows I'm feeling miserable, so has been holding me a lot. She also gives me her hand to cuddle. It's warm like a kitten, and she moves it occasionally too, just like a babycat would. I feel a little more contented when I pull it close and snuggle it against my tummy, but when I try to feed it and it won't suckle, it all comes crashing down on me again, and I go back to looking.

Please, friends, help me find them. Please search with me and keep a look-out. Somebody stole them, and whoever it is needs to be found. I can't find them on my own. I need help.

Human note: If any of you have experience with a cat grieving for a phantom pregnancy and what to do about it, please, please get in touch. I don't like seeing her this upset, and although it'll pass, I'd like to help it go sooner if there's a way.

Nurse Tia

That's what I've been doing this weekend. Although I miss Mummycat, I don't think I miss her as much as the human does. Saturday night was really hard for her. She came in, and because she'd been gone for so long, I came straight to her for a cuddle. I don't mind admitting that I miss her when she's gone for long periods. She's usually happy to see me, but as soon as I let her pick me up, she got all leaky and runny in the eyes. She kept muttering Mummycat's name as she hugged me tight. Where I'd usually have struggled, I just sat quietly. I don't mind a bit of runny eye juice in my fur. I can clean it off, and it doesn't taste awful.

She didn't open the door of Mummycat's room, even though the radio was still on in there and the carrier really should have gone back in because it was in the way in the hall. She says she just couldn't bring herself to do it. If she didn't look, she could pretend Mummycat was still there, because every time she thought about her being gone, she got so upset that she says she felt like being sick. This is an unfortunate problem of the human's. Whenever she's really sad, her tummy, which isn't as yummy as mine, goes all funny. She can't eat and it's like she has a tummy bug. She started taking Rescue Remedy on Saturday. It's good stuff, and I reminded her that it helped last time she was really miserable. For once she listened to me and has been guzzling the stuff ever since.

She stayed in bed really, really late on Sunday. The sun was on its way down before we got up! I loved it as it meant extra cuddle and sleepy time. She said she was avoiding reality by staying in bed and hoping time would pass quicker. For once, she was actually looking forward to going back to the work hunt. After her recent day off, this relieved me somewhat. If she doesn't want to hunt, she's more likely to stay at home and the more she stays at home, the less food there'll be for me because she doesn't have the moneys to swap.

She gave me a bath when she got up. She says it was the day for it. I'm getting one twice a week for the next four weeks to help clear up my scabs with that horrible special stinky shampoo. I did a naughty thing when she left me in the carrier though. If I remember, I'll tell you about it on Tortureshell Tuesday.

Throughout the weekend, I've been on nurse duty. It's really hard. I know that you others say to get as much healing spit in the water they drink as you can, but my human takes all of hers from bottles. I've contented myself with licking her instead. Not only does it clean her, but it exposes her skin to all the good healing I can give!

I've also been cuddling her loads and loads. I feel that it's my duty to be on her whenever she stays still long enough, and I even laid on her chest last night although she was sitting up. (human note: If I hadn't caught her just as she flopped over, she'd have slid off and onto the floor. She was lying vertically!) I follow her from place to place. I even sleep with her all the time. I let her give me real chicken every night too. I'm sure that makes her feel better because even though her eyes are still runny, she smiles when I miaow to her to tell her it's time to prepare my dinner.

This nursing duty is exhausting. I'm kind of glad she's gone hunting today. It'll take her mind off Mummycat for a while, and give me a chance to rest.

Speaking of Mummycat, she settled straight away in the old place we used to live, and spent all her time trying to get at a new kitten that one of the other cats has had. She loves babycats so much that the human asked for her to always have one with her, and the breeder agreed. she says there's a really old lady people who might fall in love with mummycat and give her the propper home she deserves where it's quiet all the time and there's always just the one people there to cuddle her so she won't get afraid by Hoover lady and the vacuum and stupid Dogface Molly and all the peoples who come to see my human. The lady people we used to live with says she'll only let the other lady people have her if she's really special though, and is going to push and push to see if she'll let Mummycat take a kitten with her to her new home, if it comes to that. Me and the human are torn about this. We'd like to see Mummycat in a home, not a cattery, but on the other hand, it's another move to another house and Mummycat's sure to be frightened to start off with. I guess we just have to pray very hard that the right thing for Mummycat will be done. We don't want her to be miserable any more, and she sure isn't in the old place we used to live. She was playing with toys and everything, something she only did once in the whole time she lived with me and the human.

Now it's time for the healing to start. I think I need to get some healing spit on the human's heart, because she says that's the bit that's sore. I don't know how to get there though. My tongue isn't that long and there's all the skin in the way. I'd appreciate any ideas and advice you others can suggest. It makes me sad when the human is sad, and I don't like either of us being this way.

Tortureshell Tuesday Early: I'm a Prisoner

Ok, so it's not and I'm not, but it was and I was! Tortureshell Tuesday and a prisoner, that is. Allow me to tell all, and also explain Tortureshell Tuesday which has its official launch earlier than I was planning, thanks to last night.

My human had the idea for Tortureshell Tuesday when she saw a rehoming advert. Read our Tortureshell Tuesday Post
to see the advert and the build up for this event. Anyway, here's what we have to do.

Peoples in England call us torties naughty torties because for them it rhymes (they have a funny way of missing out the r sounds when they make talk noise). We have a reputation, and I say, if you've got one of those, you should uphold it! I know that many of you others blog for things like Wordless Wednesday, and even that there is already a Tortie Tuesday, but it's not specific enough to keep our street cred for being the naughtiest cats around in full bloom. Accordingly, I created the Tortureshell Tuesday.

To take part in this event, you need to have done something very naughty. If you were unfortunate enough to be caught in the act and your peoples got a picture of you on the flash box, post that up, but the main drive of this is to get you all to write about what you've done. I see that some of you rely on the pictures to tell the story. My human says she'd like to read the stories of your naughtiness and can't do that if they're told in pictures. Really though, I'm doing this to help you. If you let the picture talk for you, you're relying too much on your peoples to help you speak your mind. That's dangerous. They can twist things so badly to make you seem like you were in the wrong. That brings me to the next point.

We cats all know that we never could possibly do anything wrong, but we also know that the peoples sometimes take a different view. "get off the table," "Don't eat my food," "Stop clawing my foot under the blankets when I'm trying to sleep," "Shut up. It's 3 AM and I need to sleep!" To get you thinking outside the box, for Tortureshell Tuesday, you must think of something you've done that the peoples don't like, write about what you did and why you did it, post a picture if you have it, then sit back and laugh in triumph as you watch your peoples get angry with your rule-breaking. If you're not a tortie, don't let that stop you. The more we rule-break, the better the control we'll have over the peoples. Remember this and get naughty! In the spirit of Tortureshell Tuesday, even though it's not a Tuesday, I'll post my events of last night.

I don't have a picture, but if my human had a flashbox, she would have caught me crouched on the sofa, scratching away, busily trying to bury my... Yep, you've guessed it. I did it again.

In our house, the human has this stupid rule. "You shall always go to the toilet in your litterbox and nowhere else." I broke it, and I did it with style! Allow me to outline the situation to you though.

Yesterday when she came home from work she brought a big box in the door with her. I knew it had been there for a while. I heard the postman leave it for us, but as I'm not big enough to reach the door handle, I couldn't open it to let him in. As soon as I'd allowed her to stop cuddling me she went to open it. There were two very, very good things inside it. The first was the biggest bag of food I've ever seen! It was bigger than me! The second was a new toy. It's a track that has a ball in it. no matter how hard I whap the ball, it stays in this track, so I don't lose it under the sofa. It's a really fun thing to play with. For any of you who are interested, tell your peoples to buy the Feline Play Circuit.

While I was playing, she got distracted. She said she had some of the work hunt thing to finish, but all she did was go on the computer. I sneakied out to take another peep at that treasure trove, that absolute mountain of food. Do you know how glorious that amount of food looks when you can see it all at once? When you can smell it? Well, I could've done if there wasn't plastic in the way. "Ah," I thought in total awe and reverence, "The cat Gods surely live at the top of a mountain like this." In the midst of my deep worship of the holy bounty set before me, surely sent from above, I decided something. I wanted it, I wanted it all, and I wanted it now! So I told the human. then I told her again, then some more, then really, really loudly. She took no notice, and got up and started to clean. Clean! I ask you! This made me so, soooo mad. Can you tell? I needed her attention. I needed to make a statement. I needed to lay down the law in this house of mine, to make her give me what I wanted and when I wanted it. I knew there was one sure-fire way to get her attention, but it was not without its risks. Still, I was full of righteous indignation, and with my heart swelling with it I climbed the side of the couch, squatted, and, eyes fixed on the human all the while, I did the do.

Here, friends, is where things take a slight turn for the worse. You know as well as I do that when you're done doing the do, you gotta scratch to bury it. I was on the sofa, so this was a bit more difficult than usual. I scratched with gusto. I wanted to spread the message as thin as possible. Maybe then I could bury it. But you know what? She heard the scratching and she swooped down on me as quick as you like. My human is too clever at times. She's good at catspeak so she knows how to tell me off in the propper way when I've done something she doesn't like. She put the mommacat grab on my scruff, got down so that I couldn't avoid looking at her, then hissed at me long and hard. I, of course, tried my hardest to get away, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I scratched her good. I'm only sorry I didn't manage to put the bitey on her. Yes, I was still filled with that righteous anger and I was gonna make sure she knew about it! I went to town. Claws, teeth, voice, wriggles, all of it! She was gonna get it, and get it good.

I won. She let go of me, but my freedom was short-lived. She chased me and thanks to that confounded, horrid, stinking dirty bell she's put on my neck, she even managed to catch me. Seeing my total unrepentence (well, what do you expect. My word is law!) and remembering how frequently I'd broken this pretend rule lately, she decided that she needed to take action. And you know what she did? She put me in the bathroom. She locked me up! It was terrible! I was in there for a gajillion and ten years without food and water (if you discount the bowls she'd hidden in plain sight... I know your tactics, human,). I had to lie on the cold floor because I just knew she'd have put spikes in the fluffy bed she'd left so cunningly in there. I was cold beyond belief but I knew if I went near the heater which she'd left on that a mysterious people forcefield would trap me there forever and I'd cook in my own yummy juices. So there I sat, huddled, alone, crying my misery at an uncaring, closed door and a seemingly deaf human. It was terrible, awful! Words can't describe the horror of that place!

The human has used this awful technique before when a cat has been stubborn about using the litterbox. She says it works if it's not overused, which she wouldn't do anyway. Overused? I almost died in that desolate, baren, foodless place last night, and she says overused! Apparently if we're in a small space with food, water, bed and box, we'll use it because we won't soil our own bedding or go too near the food bowls. I did use the box, but that's because I was desperate, not because I was caving in and hoping she'd let me out once I was finished. She did let me out, but that was purely incidental.

So there you have it. I've tortured and been tortured on this Tortureshell not Tuesday. I'm so happy to be free, but I was angry enough that I thought about leaving another sign of my discontent straight after she let me out. Then I remembered the prison and thought I'd better wait a bit until she forgets this infraction. It won't take long. They have a pathetic memory, peoples. She cuddled me good last night, which just goes to prove my point. If she was mad at me, she wouldn't have done that.

So now it's your turn. Tuesday will be the launch of my creation, but I thought I should put up a post early to show you all how it's done. See the things I go through for you? I was hissed at, jailed, I almost died just for you! I want extra street cred points for this!

Review: Rosewood Options Deluxe Open Top Carrier

I've persuaded the human to write about this after listening to her very frustrated gruntings and grumblings over the last few days. On the way to the show on Saturday, I finally convinced her that the carrier she had for me, whilst being one of the best ones she's seen, is just too small for me. What's that you say? I used to fit fine when I was brought home from the other place I lived at? I've put on weight and that's why it's too small now? Ridiculous! We all know that the reason I'm bigger is because of my extra floofiness for the show. The softness of my yummy tummy is not fat, it's furr. Still, the fact remains that I need a new carrier. The human says she's pleased. I was too boney and unsquishy when I came from the last place, so she doesn't mind that my, erm, floof has gotten a bit bigger. I'm not too squishy, and nor am I going that way, so she's happy. I keep telling her that squishy is good and she should give me more of the stinky wet food to get me that way, but this time, she said that the more moneys she has to spend on new carriers, the less is left to buy me all that stinky goodness. I had to concede the point, to my unhappiness. Seems peoples can use logic too.

But, yet again, I digress. She started looking on the internet for a new carrier. She usually reads lots of reviews before she swaps moneys for anything, but when it came to cat carriers, she just kept coming up blank. Sure, there were lots of short ones done by customers, but nothing in-depth like she wanted. "Well, human, why don't you alter that and write your own?" I said in a fit of peak last night. I'd just had enough of her griping at this point. She was so distracted that she replied, "Shush, Tia. It's not food time yet, and all that meowing is making it hard to hear the computer." Honestly! She wasn't even listening to me propperly! I told her later on though, and it seemed to get through.

I'm going to let the human write the bulk of these reviews, because peoples care about things we don't, like how heavy it is, how durable, and that sort of stuff. At the end, I'll give you my take on it. So, take it away, Human.

Review: Rosewood Options Deluxe

I didn't choose this carrier for myself. I was given it by an ex-friend breeder that I got my first ever Russian White kitten from. It was love at first sight though, and I don't just mean the fluffy white ball of yumminess that was inside it! If you go to this link
I think you can see pictures of it. The one I got was the Deluxe open top, size 1.

For many cats, travelling is a stressful time, and there's nothing quite like being able to fasten those huge, stroke-me eyes on their owner at a time like this. The Rosewood is excellent at facilitating. Its top and front are completely wire, the front having a square, grid-like pattern and the top being arranged with the wire in rows. The holes in the front are big enough that you can get your fingers inside for a quick, reassuring chin tickle, but unfortunately, they're also large enough for paws to come snaking out of. If you have a cat who will slash and grab when frightened, this carrier is definitely not for you, unless you leave it facing away from you, that is.

The carrier opens at the front and at the top. This latter is a distinct advantage if you have a cat who likes to go star-shaped as soon as you try and bundle them in through the door of a conventional carrier. It's also an added bonus at vet surgeries. for the very nervous cat, injections can be given whilst still in the safety of the box. For the feisty one, coming out through the top means less exposure to claws and teeth for the poor unfortunate charged with the dubiously delightful task of removing the caged fury from its sanctuary. It also facilitates a quick stroke, although you have to be careful that the cat doesn't flip the other way and wriggle free. Both doors feel incredibly stirdy. The wire isn't flimsy at all, and stands up well to the test of time. I've had mine for a year now. It's travelled lots, been through a house move, had heavy things dropped on it, been on trains, buses and goodness knows what else, and neither door has a scratch on it yet. The handle is afixed to the top door, but even though I use this to carry it, I've never been worried about it slipping or breaking.

The handle itself clips to the door rather than being fixed there, but seems in little danger of snapping off. However, due to its design, if you use it, the carrier will swing a little as you walk. I usually tuck the box against my hip as I'm walking, so this isn't a problem for me, but if you like to use the handle and you have an active or easily spooked cat, you need to bear this in mind. There are two d-rings on the top to attach a shoulder strap to, but as I haven't used one, I don't know how well this works.

Both doors have strong catches. The top has two which slide across to clip a section of the wire against the thick plastic frame. The front door is a single-handed, spring-loaded catch. You place a finger and thumb against two pieces of plastic and squeeze them together. This retracts a metal pole which goes from top to bottom and inserts into two purpose-built niches in the frame. When I first saw this, I was very dubious about whether it would hold if a cat really wanted to get out, but after trying it with three different wriggling furballs, I can attest to its strength. The front door can be altered so that it opens on the left or the right, so it doesn't matter if you have a dominant hand.

The carrier itself is made of very thick plastic. The top half is vented at sides and back to facilitate good airflow, but with its open top and front, I thinkk this was a bit of over-kill. It lets the cat peep out of the sides though, so it does have its good points. Although the plastic is thick, it is quite slick on the inside, so if you're going in a car or moving vehicle, you will need to put a blanket inside to prevent your pet from slipping from one side to the other. There are seatbelt slots in the top which will stop the carrier slipping around on the seat of the car, and I've read somewhere that it's airline approved, although as requirements vary so much, it's well worth checking before you travel.

There are four snap clips plus two twist clips holding the top half of the carrier to the bottom. Pull this apart and it is very, very easily cleaned. Due to the plastic being slick inside, if you have a cat with the unfortunate habit of going to the toilet or puking during journeys, wiping is absolutely not going to become a chore for you. Again, I know this from painful personal experience. The carrier is very slightly fiddly to put together, but as this feature wasn't designed to be used when the cat is still in it, it doesn't pose any real problems. You can change the hinge side of the door when the carrier is broken in half.

The only size which comes in this open top variety is the size 1. Bigger carriers are avaliable, but they're all closed at the top. I was disappointed in this, for if it had been larger, I would have simply bought another when my cat outgrew the first. If you have a fairly small cat, or want a really good carrier for a kitten, this is good enough that you won't be disappointed if you buy it. However, if you're wanting something which will last as your fluff-ball grows larger, this is probably not the one for you. The carrier comes in a choice of colours, none of which are displeasing to the eye, or so I'm told.

In summary, this is an all-round good carrier. Pros: Good, thick doors, excellent closing mechanisms, stands up to the test of time, thick, easy-wipe plastic, easy visibility for occupant, seat-belt slots, opening top. Cons: bad handle design, size issue, paws can fit through front door, slippery inner floor, no collection gutter for urine or spilled water, danger of losing two twist clips at the front as they totally detach. In spite of these, i would still recommend the carrier. Rosewood, please make the larger two with an opening top!

End of Review!

Now that the human bit is done, here's my thoughts on it. It is too, too, too small! It's also too well made. When I try and get out, the door doesn't even open! On the way to the show I pulled at it with my paws, even mashed my face against the bars of that horrible jail cell. Ok, the face mashing was mainly to get a head rub, but if the door had given I'd have climbed out for one, so it still counts as an escape effort, right? If I bump my head off the top to try and make it open, all I get is hard wire. It's not going anywhere! The wires are too close together for me to get a paw out to undo the clips. I hate you, Rosewood!

I do like the way I can see out all round though. I can keep an eye on that pesky human of mine, make sure she's safe. It's hard owning a people sometimes. It's definitely not a responsibility you take on lightly, let me tell you that. Even though the carrier is small, there's still room for some food and a ping pong ball in there with me, so it's not an absolutely awful jail.

That's enough from us for now. We are going to see the skin lady vet today. I wonder if she'll be nice? We'll post about that today or tomorrow, I'm not sure which. Depends on whether I'm too tired after eating all the fish I'm going to get her to give me tonight. I want to know something though. Some of you others manage to get asked to review all kinds of things, from cat trees to carriers, to foods. How did you do it? I want to find a roomier jail! The human says she has some more coming in the post, whatever that is. I don't know if I'm looking forward to it or not. She tells me there'll be cardboard boxes though, so it's not all bad.

Molly Matters

I'm trying to convince myself she does. Well, that's not exactly true. She's all right, as stupid hound dogs go, but she's been taking up so much of my human's time over the last few days that she didn't even manage to post yesterday. I'm a nice cat. I'll talk about Molly before I get onto my stuff, so here goes.

I mentioned just after my human got back that we had Molly news. That news is that Guide Dogs think she has something called Arthritis in her left hind and right front legs. The human says that this is the same as what Fatcat had and it means joints are sore when they move. Molly is only 6, so she shouldn't have it already. I'm never going to get old, so I don't have to worry about it, I don't think.

When the human heard this, she took her to our own vet to have it confirmed. She'd noticed Molly walking slightly funny, but she's done this for so long and been checked so frequently that the human wasn't worried at all. She kind of swings her back left leg instead of bending the knee, you see. The vet (it was our nice vet man again) had a look at her and said that he thought it would be worthwhile having x-rays done to confirm it. That sounds pretty scary to me, but Molly's had it done before. They just make her very sleepy and then put her under some sort of peoples machine that takes a picture of her bones. It's just as well she's asleep. If she was awake and saw bones, she's so stupid that she'd try to eat them, even though they belong to her! I'm sure this is why they make sure she's snoring so hard that she never knows about the pictures.

The human got up really early again yesterday so that she could take her there before she went to the strange work thing. I think when she goes to work she's hunting. She says if she didn't, she wouldn't be able to give me food every day. Hunting is how you get food, so it's logical to assume, right? She never comes back with food from the work hunt, but she says they give her the stupid money things that she takes to the place where peoples hide their kills and swaps it for my food. I still can't believe any sensible peoples would take moneys for food, but she says it's true.

She left Molly with the vet. It wasn't our nice vet man. It was a lady vet but that was Ok, because she wasn't examining her. She took her to a cage thing in the vet building where she stayed until they made her sleepy. My human didn't go to the work hunt though. She came back home and stayed there for a while. (human note: I was lucky yesterday. My PA called to say she couldn't make it in. Without a dog and a PA, I'd lost all my available guides. I haven't learned the routes with a white cane yet, so couldn't go alone. Yippee! Day off for me! Do you hear me complaining?) I was a bit concerned that she hadn't gone until I noticed there was still food in my bowl. It seems as though she had enough moneys to swap, even though she was home for a day.

Hoover lady came over again a little while later, and she and the human went out. They came back with lots of different material. The human says she's fed up with me scratching at the collar, so Hoover lady has agreed to make me lots of different ones out of different materials to see if they can find one I won't scratch. I'm going to scratch anyway, but I think it's more fun to let them find out the hard way, don't you? If I do it really, really quietly, she might not even know! Do any of you have tips for stopping bells from jingling? That would make my life a whole lot easier.

As soon as Hoover lady left, another lady came. Judging by the dog stink of her, she was from the peoples who gave Molly to the human. She calls them Guide Dogs. Even though she was stinky, I kind of liked her. She's good at chin scratching, and she's excellent at admiring my yummy tummy. I even let her cuddle me, but that was after she'd assured me she had cats of her own. A dog people with cats? Ok, so she's not all bad, and it's so nice to hear I'm beautiful.

Speaking of beautiful, thank you so, so much for all of your comments on my pictures, and thank you so much to Whicky for posting them! A huge thank you also to Praline for the header on the blog. Isn't it pretty? I have them to thank for my pretty face staring at you all from your peoples' computer thingies! The human and I are sorry that we haven't responded personally to all of the comments you left. She says she's going to try and do some of them at the end of this post.

But look, I'm getting distracted now! Sorry. It always happens when I'm thinking about more than one thing at once. The human and stinky dog lady made talk noise for a little while, and then she left. After a little while, the human went back for Molly, but when she came home, she was very sleepy and upset. She kept crying all the time, until the human got so worried that she phoned the duty vet. Molly loves food even more than me. I thought I'd be sneaky and grab some of hers last night because it was yummy chicken and rice, which she doesn't usually get. She'll chase me away from the bowl when the human tells her she can eat, but last night, she just stood and cried. Now please don't think I'm going soft, but I actually felt kind of sorry for her, and if you ever remind me I said that, I'm gonna deny it all the way! you could see she wasn't herself, and she never stands with her head drooping like that. I gave up the bowl myself. I knew I could hassle some more food out of the human later, but molly has more trouble with that. Well, she ate, but it took her about four times as long as usual, and that worried us more than anything else. You know what she's like for food. Remember the cat food incidents?

When she showed signs of wanting to go to the toilet, but not wanting to squat, the human called the vet. They said she was probably just very sore from being pulled around for the bone pictures, but that if she got worse, they were there all night and we could bring her in. The human decided to wait and see what happened, but she slept with the door open so that she could listen to Molly.

This morning, she was a little better, but she still won't go to the toilet unless she's really, really needing to, and her walk is very, very slow. The human says her work is all over the place. They missed the door to the office today, whatever that is, and Molly is not even going half her usual speed. She's phoned the vet person at Guide Dogs to see what they say. She'd have taken her already, but the whining has stopped completely, so she's not sure if it's all pain related and whether she should wait or not. She's taking me to the vet tomorrow anyway, you see, so she's wondering whether to combine the two.

That's really all that's happened. My human has some things to tell you before we get to the comments though.

So it turns out that Molly has mild to moderate arthritis in hips, shoulders and elbows. She has an ongoing soft tissue injury to the right shoulder plus, judging by the gait, the start of cruciate ligament problems in the left knee. The x-rays didn't show this, but they don't when it first starts up. They've put her on injections for the arthritis, plus glucosamine supplements. They also want to start her on a course of hydrotherapy, but Guide Dogs want to negotiate a deal with the surgery before we start her. I hate waiting for treatment just because of money, but hydro's super expensive, so Guide Dogs have got to pay for this themselves. I now fully appreciate why she snapped at me, and because of this, I've been able to rationalise it and keep working with her. I've made adjustments in the house to take food well out of her reach. Poor Tia has to climb through an obstacle course to get to it now! I'm going to keep her on, but really scale back the work I do with her so that she can be as comfortable as possible. I doubt she'll work much longer in any case before she's ready for retirement, and I don't want her shipped from home to home before that happens. If the truth be told, I'm kind of relieved in a way that I can keep her without being scared of her. I love her too much to give her bakc, and I really wasn't looking forward to doing that. Update: Guide Dogs have just called me back. We'll be returning to the vet today. I feel like I've spent the most recent part of my life there! Molly last Thursday for skin injections, Tia on Sonday, Molly yesterday twice, and then again today. Tia has to go back tomorrow, and if everything's sorted on time, Molly will be there on Thursday for the start of her hydro. Even if she isn't, we'll be bakc on Monday for the second of her four injections for arthritis. It feels like it's never going to end!

Now that the human bit is done, it's time to answer some of the comments. Miss Kitty, my human doesn't use a flash box thing or Photoshop for photos. Her eyes are broken, you see, so she can't use either. It was the photographer man who took those at the show, and there was no alterings. The blue background is what I was standing in front of. My floof needs no prettification on photoshop either! Clowder, I'm going to get the human to have a look at Flickr to see if it's any better for us to use. Thanks for suggesting it. Hestorb, that's some good effort with all your noise on going to the vet! Did it make them stop taking you? I just tell my human off when she takes me there, but as I do this pretty much every day, it doesn't bother her all that much. She's hard, is my human. The starving kitten miaow that I do doesn't even get me extra food!

To all of you, the human feels the need for me to re-itterate that if we're not leaving comments on your blogs it's because we are struggling with it. My paws aren't good for using computers and her eyes are broke. She can't do the visual verification thing to leave a comment, and some of them just don't work with the software that she has to use. It's a little robot man thing that talks to her and reads what you all say, but sometimes it doesn't read everything. She's so glad that you're all still coming to the blog even though we can't always show you that we're reading what you say!

The human says she has to go now and take Molly to the vet. We'll update you as soon as we know more. Keep checking back to the blog regularly. Even though we won't post a new link on CB, we are going to email pictures to Whicky. If he sees it today, you'll get one of Molly to look at! So although they don't go up at the same time as my regular posts, they'll be there from time to time.