Kittens and weddings and plane birds, oh my!

At last, friends, it's time to update you all propperly! My human says this post is gonna be hard to write, cuz my safe place is in the way and it's disrupting the signal of her wireless keyboard to the computer box. I'll tell you all about it, shall I?





My safe place is a kittening pen. It's mesh on all sides so that I can see out when I want to. It's nice and big and made of wood framing. The bottom is a solid floor lined in a soft plastic lino. It's cushioned, so I could lie on it without any bedding if I needed to. Of course I'd never need to cuz my human has made it all soft in there, but babies crawl, and they sleep where they fall when they're tired, so it keeps it nice and comfy for them. She's put some huge fluffy towels in there for me cuz next to her fleecey sweatshirt and dressing gown, she knows these are my favourite things to lie on. She's gone one better though.





She got a massive quilt cover which she draped over the top and sides of the pen. Then she got another of those big towels and put it over the top of the cover. Now, not only is it comfortable to lie on top of the pen as well as inside, but inside is all dark and cave-like for me so that I feel safe. I think it'd be a good place to hide my babies away. She's left the front and a little of the sides uncovered so I can still see out. The door at the front is open so I can come and go easily, and the top is also open. Most of this is covered, but there's a small square where I can jump in and out. She's put my scratchy post with the platform near this so I can jump on there and then into the pen. She says this is what I'll have to do when I have babycats, as if she leaves the door open, they're likely to crawl out and get lost. What do you think? Do you think babycats would be safe here, or should I carry on trying to nest behind the TV where I know she doesn't want me? It would almost be worth doing it just for this!





So, my human's trip to Alaska. Where to start? She said she would update you herself, but in typical human style, she didn't. She says it was hard and slow to access the blog with her little tiny man in a box, the one she calls Laptop. I say that's still no reason not to post.





The plane bird ate her just as I said it would, and just like I told you, it spat her out in Seattle, forcing her to beg another one to take her the last bit to Alaska. I told you she had lots in her suitcase that would make him not want to take her the whole way, and I wasn't joking! She did get there eventually though. my human doesn't like being eaten for a long time by plane birds, so she was mighty glad to get there. She was also super glad to see Bug and his family.





She didn't do tons while she was there, but she didn't mind either. She says that the time to relax sat well with her. Bug's mummypeople cooked her super good dinners though, and she got to try lots of strange foods that peoples in this country don't have like Corn dogs and quessadillas (think that's how you write it) and lots of different sweeties (they call it candy). She got to eat cheese curds again too which she loves so much that she had to go back again and again for more of them.





She says they also went back to the gold mine that she had visited last time she was there. She found a lot of gold in the dirt, and Bug, Bug's step-sister and her little girlkitten gave my human all the gold they found too! She told them she's saving a little every time she goes there, and eventually she'll have it made into a small piece of jewelery. Speaking of jewelery, she bought a bit while she was there. It's a beautiful gold nugget that has been put on a chain, and she loves it very, very much.





They did something even more exciting than that though. They went to a real, real big pet shop! And you know what she bought for me? She bought kitten milk just in case my babies needed feeding up a little, in case I don't have enough milk for them, but that's not the cool part. She also bought Da Bird. the real Da Bird! I like it a lot. This one I can really wrassle with when I catch it and it still doesn't break. I nearly exhausted myself totally when I tried to catch it when she brought it out for me after she got home. I love, love, love that thing!





The human also spent time with Bug's family. His mummypeople is such a good cook, and his step-dad is lotsa fun too. His step-sister came over a lot and brought her two kittens, a boy and a girl. The girl is older, but the boy is way cuter. He sang her lots and lots of songs and even taught her the tickle song which him and his mummypeople made up. That meant that he got to tickle the human while singing it, but she did it right back to him too! She recorded him singing so that she could remember it even when he grows up. She's been singing it to me, but I keep telling her that the yummy tummy is not for tickling, cuz the babies go crazy when she does. I also tell her that the right to give kissies is not, in fact, a right, but an earned privilage. I think all the kissies the little boykitten gave her when he was tickling her turned her soft. This she of course ignores as she plants kissies on the babies.





My human can now feel the babies kicking a lot. There's one that we both think is a tortie like me, cuz that one kicks the most and the hardest. The human is sure she felt all four feet going at one point this morning. I'm more than sure, cuz it was kicking at my poor ribs!





I'm quite uncomfortable today. The babies are kicking hard and I can't rest for long. I think it's about time they came out of me, but the human says I have to keep them for another 11 days to let them grow a little more. Well, aren't they big enough already? The human now thinks I might possibly have more than three, cuz I'm so big. Even though I am not even eight weeks pregnant yet, I am already bigger than Phoebe, and she had five! She's not sure though, as she can only feel three distinct movement patterns in my yummy tummy, and I'm not telling how many I'm growing inside me. I did tell you I'd work hard on growing a big yummy tummy for the human while she was away though, and I've certainly done that!





It took her a massive 38 hours to travel from Alaska to Ireland, and this time it took four plane birds to get her all the way home. She says she never wants to travel that long again. She was so tired when she finally got there that she was doing stupid things like bursting into tears for no reason. She was even like that at the wedding the next day.





The wedding went so well. The bride was gorgeous, and the groom, her cousin, was the most handsome groom ever! My human does admit to being somewhat biased though. He's her cousin after all. He is deaf, and had brought a lot of his deaf friends along. He and his new wife hired an interpretor to stand at the front and sign so that they all could hear the talk noise that the peoples were making. My human thought that was a very nice touch. Glen also spoke all of his own speeches rather than signing them, something which is very hard for him to do. He doesn't speak very well and he knows it. Talking is a great effort for him and also an embarrassment cuz he worries what peoples will think of his funny noises. But he stood in front of everyone and told his wife how much he loved her. It would be fair to say my human had such a bad case of leaky eyes that she used up all the tissues in the place. That cousin is the closest to her in so many ways. They were born only two months apart, and they are the only two cousins who both share a disability. Sure there are many more in their family, but they were the only two in that generation. They looked out for each other growing up, she speaking for him when he couldn't, he taking her places that she couldn't go on accounta her broken eyes. She's so glad that he's happy now with his new wife. They go off to Sri Lanca for their honeymoon tomorrow.





So that's it for my human's trip. She really enjoyed it, but she loved getting home to me too. As much as I'll most likely live to regret this statement, I'm enjoying having her back, and I'm glad she won't be going away for a long time!





oh speaking of babies, even though we weren't, phoebe and her new family are doing well, although the mummypeople thinks she may have a temperature today. The human has advised taking her to the vet, but I don't know whether they will or not. Mom Trish, don't worry. We definitely won't we seeing the same vet! For one thing, we choose better, and for another, she livs in Ireland and I am in England. Thank goodness! I'm so glad that a lot of you found the post educational. I'll remember everything about when my babycats are born so that I can tell you all that too! I'll also do a few genetics posts this week and one on the things in my human's kittening bag if you like. Would you all like to see that?





My human says thank you to everyone who hoped she'd feel better today. She is, in fact, feeling a little more like herself. She says the pain killers are now working, but I say it's all thanks to the attentive nursing I've been doing. Cat spit works wonders!

Gotcha!

Friends, it's my very first ever gotcha day! or at least, it's the first one that I know that's been celebrated. It was a year ago today that I left my old place and came to live with the human. This would be my forever home, although I didn't know it at the time. Today we both will tell my gotcha story, the human from her point of view and me from mine. I'll let the human start, as mine will follow nicely on from hers.

Human

Do you remember me telling you about my little Russian white kitten? You know, the little nightmare girl that I loved so much but knew I couldn't keep? Bit of an odd place to start with Tia's gotcha story, but it does all start with Anna.





As I say, I knew I couldn't keep her. I'd tried everything else, and I do mean everything, to sort out the problems she was having... Except one thing. Would another, older cat give her company, and through that the happiness and contentment that she obviously wanted so desperately? I knew I'd be devastated if I had to give her up. I knew that it probably wouldn't work getting another cat. I also knew I'd regret it forever if I didn't try.





I set out with very specific requirements in mind. I wanted a cuddler. After Anna not allowing herself to be handled, this was a huge thing for me. I wanted a cat who didn't bite or scratch. I wanted one who got on well with others (after all, the reason for getting her was to be good company for Anna). I wanted her to be a short hair. I didn't even care if she was a he, just as long as the criteria were met. So I began my search.





My fiance was over for a few weeks this time last year, so we decided to take a trip up to Hereford to spend the bank holiday and catch up with some of my old friends. We decided to have a look in general for cats in that area, just on the off chance that there'd be something suitable. We came across an ad from a woman who was ending breeding and selling off all of her cats. But they were Persians. I discarded it, but myself and Bug just kept returning. In the end, he convinced me to go and see her with the idea that even if I didn't like the cats, I'd at least know what a Persian looked like. We were in Hereford anyway, so why not?





Well, we went, he wiht an open mind, me with a closed one. I knew I didn't want a Persian. They had health problems. They had way too much coat (I was already struggling with Anna's shorter hair in relation to my asthma, but of course, what I didn't know then was that shorter hair floats and is breathed in much more easily). I didn't want to devote the time every day to grooming, detangling, eye cleaning, special feeding, ridding the bum of cling ons after them being in the litterbox... Still, I went. Why? To this day, I can think of no good reason why I gave in. It's not my normal practice if I've decided i don't want a particular type of something!





We never did get to see where the cats lived, and in heinsight, I'd never make the same mistake again. Tia and another little cat were brought down to see us. The small one was a year-old kitten. The breeder admitted she hadn't been socialised propperly and advised against having her. Even though she was frightened, she didn't bite or scratch. She didn't even have a name. I was still too naive for this to ring alarm bells.





While I spent my time feeling sorry for the baby, Bug cuddled Tia. he's a good person to have with you when looking for cats, as he'll test them to see what their first reaction is to different things, some of which they don't like. For example, he'll rub their bellies. If they tolerate it, well and good. If not, he wants to see whether they defend themselves with claws and teeth, something I definitely didn't want, or whether they are more gentle and polite and will walk away, or swat with claws in. Remember at the time, I'd only ever had one kitten of my own (our family had cats, but none belonged specifically to me), and I wasn't as confident back then as I am now. I didn't know as much either.





Well, to get back to the story in hand, eventually I had a cuddle with Tia. She was a nice enough cat, definitely cuddly with strangers, but I still didn't know. We went away to think about it. Well, I did. Bug was already set.





I remember saying to him how I didn't expect a Persian's coat to be greasy or full of dandruff. I didn't know enough then to know this was through a lack of bathing. We talked for many hours, me wondering whether I could put up with all the extra work, he reassuring me that she was a lovely cat, and would do my heart good. He knew just how sore I was over Anna's total rejection of me after being such a cuddly kitten. He knew I was beating myself up, convincing myself it was my fault despite having tried every approach under the sun. He knew more than I did just how much I needed this cat, and even how much I needed the commitment of extra care. I needed to see something blossom under my touch.





After a further talk with the breeder, we arranged to pick Tia up on Monday for the long train journey home. I'll never forget that trip. Me and Bug managed to get on a train and had already gone 20 minutes before I realised I'd forgotten my handbag! So it was back to Hereford, then off again. All the while, Tia sat as quiet as you like in her carrier... Oh how times have changed! I took her out a few times for a cuddle on the way home, but she didn't seem amused. All my old worries set in, and were further added to when I got home and she refused to acknowledge anyone, preferring instead to hide behind the toilet. I knew cats hid. I knew it took them time to get used to new people, but I wanted so badly for her to not go the same way as Anna that I just couldn't be rational about it. Oh how I wish I knew then what I do now!

Tia's Story

Wow, that human can talk! I too remember my gotcha time very well, for it was a big change in my life.





Before the human came for me, I lived in a room with lots of other girlcats. The human says that it was 14, but I don't know. I don't bother with counting. My mummycat still lived with me then too, and the little blue baby that the human told you about also belonged to mummycat, although she had a different daddycat. I remember being taken to see the human and Bug. Bug was all right, but I could sense the sadness in the human as soon as I went to see her. I was on my best behaviour. I only thwapped her once! And I didn't put my claws out very far. It was enough to make her think twice though. I could see it in her face, and I regretted my actions. I don't know why, but I kinda wanted to go home with this human! I was also a bit embarrassed about the state of my coat but was relieved when she asked the breeder to give me a bath before going with her, if she agreed to take me, that was. She says this is to remove the scent of other cats and make integration into the house more easy. I was just glad cuz it meant I could look my best when I went to the new place!





On the Monday, I was put into the breeder's PTU and taken to a house. The human says this was her friend's house. There I was put into the human's PTU. It was nice and scary all at the same time. I could see out much better, but everything was so new! I stayed real quiet, wondering if I'd made the right decision in thinking that this human was the right one for me.





I stayed like that the whole way home. Even when the human and Bug tried to cuddle me, i just sat quietly. I never scratched or bit. I don't do that when i'm scared. The human tried very hard to comfort me, and although I was still just as frightened, it made me feel good to know that she seemed to already care.





When I got to the new house, I could smell another cat, and it wasn't long before I saw her. As soon as the human set my PTU down to open the bathroom door for me, she came and had a sniff, then hissed and spat and screamed at me through the door. of course, this made me want to hide, and I did this for many, many days before I'd let anyone touch me for long. I went from behind the toilet to behind the sofa, but every time I came out, that mean Anna would hiss and spit and really shout at me!





The atmosphere in the house wasn't good. The human was upset cuz Anna was no better and was now even bullying me. I never really made a move to ascert myself. Even now I will only hiss and spit when a stupid dogface or something comes into the house, but I'll never launch an attack. I avoided her as much as possible, but it didn't matter. Even when I was hidden, she'd walk around really grumbling at nothing in particular! The person who rehomed her said that she was like that even after months of being in a house with other cats, and even when she was separated, they never got past the stage of scent swapping with her, cuz she'd even growl at that, no matter how long blankets and bedding were left with her!





Back to my story though. A few weeks later, the human's grannypeople came to stay. She told the human that she saw me crouched in the middle of the floor with my head tucked right down, while Anna held me down with a paw and swatted me repeatedly round the head with the other, claws out, for a long time. The grannypeople is too sick to get down and separate us, and although she shouted, Anna ignored her and I was too busy protecting my eyes to move away!





Grannypeople was a turning point for me though. I knew she was sick. I also knew how much she wanted to cuddle me, but how she couldn't cuz she couldn't pick me up from the floor. One day, I jumped up to see her and find out if I was right. I was a little nervous, but the grannypeople had been nothing but nice, and her face got all smiley when I climbed on her. I quickly worked out that one of her hands wasn't so good at supporting me, so I got comfy and just lay there. She couldn't quite manage a stroke, but she patted me gently instead, and although I didn't like it as much, I purred anyway cuz she was warm and squishy and comfy to lie on. The human came in a few minutes later, and when the grannypeople told her she was trying to cuddle me, the human went and got a very soft baby brush that she was using on me to get me used to grooming. She held the grannypeople's hand with the brush in it, and helped her give me strokes with that. oh how nice it was! I stretched all the way out and went right to sleep, cuz I knew that if Anna wanted to get me, she'd have to come up on the grannypeople, and the grannypeople would protect me! From there, my llife went from good to even better. Every day i discover something new and pleasurable, from stinky goodness to tummy rubs, head stroking to sleeping in bed with the human.





So that's my gotcha story. I loved the human right from the start, and, once her heart had allowed her to believe that my love wasn't just a passing thing as it had appeared to be with Anna, the whole depth of her love was mine. She always loved me, she says. She was just afraid to let her heart get hold of that notion cuz she was so tired of it being sore.





They say a purr has health benefits. in this case, the purr has heart benefits. Our love grows stronger by the day. On this day of all days, we would both like to say a huge thank you to Bug. If it wasn't for you, Bug, my human would always have been too afraid to make the commitment, and I would never have met her. Thank you for helping us both heal! Oh, and for telling my human that us cats need tuna as part of our daily diets! For that, I praise you the mostest!

Wordy Wednesday

Well, friends, today we have some good news for you! At long last, eh? It seems to have been a while since we had any of that, so here goes!




You remember I told you that Bug and Kara ended up getting separated? Well, it wasn't to be so. Bug was sposed to stay with a family friend who was close to the hospital where he has to go to have his wound checked out, but what with one thing and another, he couldn't stay there in the end. It was then decided that he should go and stay with his daddypeople at least until the end of the week. Well, that's Kara's new home too! So Bug is getting to see her settle in, and has extended cuddle time with her. He's sleeping a lot because of the pain killers they have him on, so Kara's loving it as it means she gets to sprawl out with him. Bug goes back for another check on Friday, so let's hope there's more good news for him too!





In the battle of the sneezes, I might be losing again, but I'm not sure. Ever since I stopped the mucolytics my nose has gotten a bit dry. This isn't a good sign. It's what happened last time before I got real bad and was struggling to breathe propperly. I had my last antibiotics yesterday, so we're just gonna have to wait and see what happens. Keep those paws crossed for me, eh?





In other good news, I actually found my catnip chicken or duck or whatever it is last night! The human found it stuffed in behind a cabinet and she got him out for me. I loved him for a good five minutes, and when I left him to keep company with the human instead, I cuddled him right up against the edge of a tiny track I have that has a ball in it. I like that track even though it's small, so I knew Mr Chicken would too, and when I wanted him again, he'd be easy to find. Have I mentioned I love him? cuz I do!





Hmmmm, now what else to tell? I can't really think of much. Everything's on target for our big move next week, and the last bit of the paperwork for the human's new work hunt was sent in today. That means that we'll have a start date agreed very, very soon. Isn't it exciting? I sure think so. It means that the human will be out of the house for longer each day, but I've got to put my own needs aside. I know this work hunt will make her much, much happier than the one she's doing now, so it's worth it. Anyway, when the kittens are born this year, we'll be getting one of those to come live with us, so I'll have somebody to keep me company in the day time.





Ah, life is good at the moment. Let's hope it stays that way and that the horrible snotty thing doesn't come back again! I'm done with being sick, believe me!

Monday Monday

Ok, so I couldn't think of anything better for a title. I'm uncreative today.




Well, friends, a lot has happened over the weekend, and not just to me this time! I haven't been eating terribly well, and my human thinks it's cuz it's difficult for me to pick up the small chunks of stinky goodness that she's feeding me. Really though, it's cuz she puts the stinky powder drug in my food, and I want nothing to do with that! She's only a little worried that I'm not eating, cuz she thinks I'll be Ok again when my dry stuff goes back down. I'm not as snuffly as I was, but we don't know whether this is cuz I'm still taking the mucolytic or whether it's cuz I'm better. Today is the last day on that, and then I've only one more day of antibiotics to go. Then we'll see! I really hope it busts the infection though, cuz I sure as anything don't want to end up with pneumonia. I don't know what it is, but it sounds soooo nasty!





In other news, Bug has done himself injury. For those of you who don't know, Bug is the people that Kara, our guest Sunday poster, owns. Like me, she uses her people to do her typing for her, (well, why have a people and write yourself!), but this week, he wasn't able to do that. on Saturday, he was opening a tin of people stinky goodness, but it didn't open propperly, so he started to pull on it. Well, it slipped and sliced into the back of his thumb. He thought he was Ok, but went to the hospital to have it checked. He went back again on Saturday so that they could see how it was healing, but after more investigation, they found that the tin had cut right through the extensor tendon on his thumb. He had to have surgery to sew it back together again, and his hand is in a cast. He has broken eyes like my human does, and both of them use both hands to type, so it's really, really hard to do it with one hand. That's part of the reason he didn't write for Kara yesterday. But there's more.





They gave him very strong medication for the pain which we think blissed him out a little, but he was also due to move the last of his stuff yesterday. That went ahead, cuz his daddypeople came and helped him pack up the last of it. Do you remember last week that Kara said she knew she was moving? There's more to that story too. Yesterday was the day she moved. She's going to go and stay with Bug's daddypeople. She lived with him as a kitten, and she stays with him when Bug goes away, so it's a familiar place. Bug's family love her very, very much, and she likes it there too. But what's different this time is that she's not coming back.





Bug is moving countries. He was due to do this soon, but now thanks to his thumb, he'll be staying in family's houses until he has it treated. He decided, after long, long thought, that Kara would do better with his daddypeople. The flight to the new country takes a very long time, and she's an old cat. Even when he talked it over with my human, she agreed that she probably wouldn't cope with it. This was not an easy decision for him. He loves Kara dearly, and it took him many, many weeks to finally admit that it really was the best thing for her. So not only did Bug lose his house and his hand yesterday, but he lost his cat too. He needs a lot of well wishes right now, and he certainly has mine. Poor Bug. Me and the human hope he gets better real, real soon.





Now, it is Valentine's day today, so I'm conscious that I don't want to leave you with only bad news. The good is that I don't have to have no more stinky drugs in my food after today. Woohoo! The other good news is that I don't have so much snot in my nose any more! Now that I'm feeling a bit better, I've started thinking about the significance of today. It's supposed to be a day to share love, right? To be together? To appreciate each other? Doesn't that mean that it's the human's duty to ply me with chicken and tuna and cuddles and all the treats I can eat? I spose it also means I have to give her unlimited snuggles, but I can live with that. Now, I know a lot of you mancats already have valentines dates, but if you also could do with some tuna and snugglings, then you're more than welcome to come over! Don't worry, I'm not possessive. I won't tie you down! Hehehe, I know mancats like to be free and easy.





Right, I'm off to get things ready. I'll try my best to eat the last of this stinky drug foods so that whoever comes over won't be exposed to it. Then it's tuna all the way!

Tricky Tuesday

I never have a dull day, do you know that? Well, I do, but they're few and far between at the moment. As you know, I was due to go home yesterday, but I didn't manage it in the end. Oh, sure, I got to the train station all right, riding in splendor as befits my rank on the lap of my human in the front seat of Mark's car. I'm getting braver now. The more I come to trust the human, the more I can explore without being frightened. Usually when we drive, I just lie down and close my eyes and have a sleep, but yesterday I stood up on my human's knee and had a good look at everything all around me as we drove, and I didn't get scared once!




I was good in the PTU at the station too. I sang, but as I'd had that nasty anaesthetic the day before, I felt it wouldn't be propper to over exert my vocal chords. It's bad for them, you know. Instead of the aria that I'd planned, I performed a simple pop song instead, much to the amusement of the people who works in the shop where the human bought some water. Just as we were about to head for the train though, we heard an announcement that said that it wasn't running. There'd been a fatality on the line, whatever that is. My human didn't want to talk about it, but she did tell me it meant that someone had been killed. Not a nice thought for a Monday afternoon, I can tell you. They'd cancelled a lot of trains and there were major delays. The human knows that four hours is about my limit for travel tolerance, and she can't expect more of me than that. It takes us four hours on a good day to get from here to Yorkshire, but with the delays, it might have been double that. We didn't chance it. Instead, we got back in Mark's car and came all the way back to Dogman's house again. And here we still are. We'll try again today to get on the train, and hopefully this time we'll actually make it back!





The human's medical for her new work hunt went well yesterday. They said she was fit for post whatever that means, so now she's only waiting on the last bit of paper, the risk assessment, to come back. Once that's clear, they'll confirm a start date for her, and we'll be all set.





Amy, just to clarify, we are indeed moving, but the post on Sunday was by Kara, a cat who owns a special people friend of mine and the human's called Bug. She's moving too. My human hasn't started packing our stuff yet. She says she's leaving it as late as possible to cause me less stress, but personally I think she's leaving it cuz she can't face the idea of packing up again, a presumption enforced by the long, loud groans every time she bumps into a box.





Karen, Dogface has settled beautifully into her new home. We see her when we come up here every time Dogman's around at the weekends. The human has tried to interact with her as little as possible so as to make sure she bonds tightly with Dogman without old ties and loyalties getting in the way... As if dogfaces could be loyal! Dogface was a little confused by this initially, but seems to be understanding now, and while she still comes for cuddles, she's more focused on Dogman for her attention. She still whacks me in the face with that stupid, stupid tail though, and it's so big that it invariably knocks me off whatever I'm sitting on. Then Dogman has the nerve to tell me off when I thwap Dogface with my claws when she walks past. And all because Dogface does this little jump as if to say, in her stupid way, "Eh? What was that? Where'd it come from?" I don't even hit her hard enough that she yelps, but Dogman still doesn't like it when I do it. Stupid Dogman.





Now that I'm trusting the human more and more every day, I've been practicing the kissie game. This is something that the human has always played with me ever since I started going and showing off my floof to the judges and peoples who think I'm gorgeous enough to give me prizes. the game involves her giving me kissies in the weirdest of places out of the blue, and me not being surprised or flinching away, and getting loads of cuddles in return. Getting kissies also appears to be something I wasn't used to in the old home, but it's important in shows. Judges will often give you kissies if they like you, and just to see how you react. Even tempered cats will take it. Affectionate ones will give head bumpies.





It's important for me to feel comfortable with kissies so that I won't get scared or worried if a judge gives me one. The human started by rubbing her cheek against my shoulder. I didn't like this for months and months and would pull away from her when she did it, but she kept with it until I learned that cheek rubbing means that I'm gonna get lots of great cuddles shortly afterward. Then she progressed to burying her face in my furr. I didn't like that either, but again, she persisted. Just recently she's started making the kissie noise which I really don't like. it startles me and I always pull away. But over the last few days I've let her get closer and closer with that silly kissie mouth of hers. Today, I actually let her propperly kiss my tummy and even the top of my head, something unheard of even a week ago. As smooshy as this is going to sound, I actually liked it, so much so in fact that I put my head straight up for a good, solid scratching session behind the ears. Do any of you get kissies from silly people kissie mouths? How do you deal with it if you do? Is it really the thing to do to submit to them and actually like them? I know I will do it for the judges, but they're important peoples, and it could mean that I get a prize for doing it. But do I really have to give in to this sort of smushy degradation on a daily basis at home? Please tell me I don't!

Mish-Mash

I couldn't think of a better title for today's post, because it is a bit if a mish-mash of lots of different things. Do you realise that I haven't blogged for almost a week? I do, and boy did I make sure the human did too! I mean, it's one thing her not writing for me for a day or two, but almost a week? It's punishable! That being said though, I suppose I should go a little easy on her. She did have the funeral, after all, and all the travelling and the teaching, and, well, you get the picture. But while she was off doing her stuff, I was doing mine. I'll mish-mash the two and tell you all about it. Let's start with travelling.




I mentioned that we'd be taking a long journey to get to Dogman's house, but I wasn't really prepared for how long it was, nor the human's reaction to it. She'd done a full day at the work hunt, and as I've mentioned before, when this happens, she's super tired when she gets home. she usually has what Bug calls a surprise nap somewhere in the middle of the evening, but of course, she couldn't do that on Wednesday, cuz we had to go on the journey. I don't know if I said that my walking jacket and backpack carrier arrived, but they did, so we had a chance to test them. The human had even put a special pad in the bottom so that if I had to do a peepee again, I wouldn't be embarrassed or upset cuz it would soak it all up. I'll tell you now that I didn't need to use it!





Now, you know my views on PTUs, whether they're super smart backpack ones, or boring old plastic ones. I don't like 'em. In fact, I hate 'em, and I don't keep my thoughts to myself. On the bright side, it does give me the opportunity to perfect some of the more challenging arias around, but the human never seems to appreciate it. Now, I do plan to do a review of the PTU, as does my human, so I won't say too much about it here except that it certainly gets me noticed! I had lots of peoples making those stupid cooing baby talk noises through the windows of the PTU at me as my human took me along the platform to the train. I, of course, sang to them in my loudest, strongest voice, which in turn got more of them staring at me. The human got quite embarrassed by the end, although I really don't know why.





We had to spend four hours on the train, but the human had anticipated this. She knew that if she took me out of the PTU, I would know that song practice had come to an end and I could relax until the next time I had to change trains. Now this is good human training. Why? Cuz she took me out of the PTU and kept me out. She put my walking jacket on me which is also super smart, attached a leash, then let me lounge at my leisure on her knee. Again, peoples seemed very interested in me. They said they'd never seen a ladycat on a train before, and especially not one who sat so good and quiet and who wore a smart jacket. I, of course, showed off to my adoring public, but I didn't let them touch me. I don't like it when hands come out of nowhere to try and stroke my beautiful furs. I mean, can you imagine all the cleaning you have to do to get their people stink out of a long, fluffy coat? It's disgusting!





Now I mentioned that the human was tired, but she took that to new levels on the train. Instead of paying me attention, she leaned back in her seat, fixed my lead round her upper arm so that I couldn't run off (as if I would!), then drifted off to sleep! This had me quite alarmed. It's all very well her having a surprise nap on the sofa at home, but on a train? What if we missed our stop! I knew something had to be done. Accordingly, I went into action. I stood up, stretched, climbed the human's tummy, stood on her chest and began to shout in her face and knead for all I was worth. This caused some peoples to laugh, but I wasn't paying them any attention. The human still didn't wake! I decided that it would be fun to try and get in the neck of her top. It was low already, and my kneading had made it drop a little further. Peoples are sensible in one regard. They don't like other peoples to see their poor, bald, hairless skin, so I knew that if she felt the neckline of the top move, she'd be awake in a flash. I had one and a half front paws in there when she jumped awake, pulled me out and fixed her clothing up again. Hah, victory was mine! As soon as she opened her eyes, I miaowed sweetly, gave her finger a little kissie as a reward, and went on kneading. She was cross, but ended up just laughing and giving me a cuddle. Good human!





When we arrived at the last train station, Dogman and Mark were there to meet us. Mark has a pet name for me that he uses as a joke. He calls me cooking fat, something that the human and Dogman find really funny when Mark explained that it made two kind of different words if you changed the first letters around. Mark pretends he doesn't like cats, but I know this is his way of showing that he really does like me, cuz when he says it, he usually gives me a sneaky cuddle. The human has caught him at it. Plus, he doesn't complain when I get out of the PTU in his car, nor when I sing to him. In fact, he's more sympathetic than the human! Add to this that this washis daddypeople's pretend name for one of their old pet cats that Mark loved very, very much, and I take it as a compliment. it would be bad if he really meant those other words that it makeswhen you change the letters around, but we're certain he doesn't. He just likes the play on words, and the fact that it makes peoples ask why he's calling me cooking fat. I think it's just as good as Dogman's song for me. I got to sit on


Dogman's knee on the drive home, and he and Mark practiced their miaowing for part of the


journey. They thought it was really funny that I kept miaowing back to them, but really, I was


only giving them language lessons. I was teaching them propper pronunciation, you know.





I didn't take long to settle in. I'd only been gone a few weeks, after all. Dogface was there.


I tolerated her, even when she jumped all over the human to say hello. Honestly, she has no


reservations at all, that mutt!





I slept good that night. So did the human, despite her surprise nap. The next day, she left


early in the morning. Dogman had an appointment at the eye hospital which she attended with him


in a professional capacity. Mark came and took them, but they left Dogface behind! When they came


home again, they had warm chicken with them, but they wouldn't let me have any! Shortly after


that, the human gave me a cuddle and explained that she would be leaving me for the night to go


and teach with Dogman in another far away place, and off she went. I didn't mind at all. As I've


said before, I kinda like Mark, and I know he likes me. I played the "attack the people feet


under the covers" game with him when he went to bed... All night long! If his shouting was


anything to go by, he enjoyed it a lot. I also played ping pong in the middle of the night, and


when I visited the litter tray, I came in and sang to him of my doings. Again, his talk noise,


lots of it, sounded as though he liked the fact that I kept waking him up. He was so pleased that


he was still talking about it when the human came back the next day!





She came back without Dogman. He was at his grandad's funeral, and the plan was that the human


would come home and look after Dogface and the little kittenpeoples who are Dogman's nephews, so


that the big ones could all go to the funeral. Well, the little peoples didn't turn up, and


apparently they all went with their mummypeople, so the human used the opportunity to head off


with Mark and finalise the paperwork for her new job. Yes, friends, there was more of it to be


done! They left me behind again... Starting to sense a pattern here, are you?





To take a side tangent for a moment, I heard the human mention last week how cute purr-miaows


are. To illustrate, I'll post a Youtube video, or I will when the human gets home from the work


hunt, as she's not allowed to access Youtube in work. Well, I took this comment of hers to heart,


and while she was gone on Thursday, I got to practicing. When I got hold of her on Friday, i


climbed all over her and purr-miaowed my heart out! I do like to please her from time to time,


mainly cuz i know that it often leads to tuna, but still. It got me extra cuddles, and she


started saying how much I reminded her of Mummycat, who also used to do that. She remarked on how


odd it was, cuz I've only rarely purr-miaowed for her before, but over the weekend, I was doing


it all the time. Well, if you say a thing, you gotta expect me to pick up on it!





Anyway, Saturday they all went off out again, and when the human came back, she was cold and


tired. They said they went out to look at stuff. Nothing really exciting happened that day,


except for something really, really huge! I'll leave it till the end of the post though, cuz it's


real big news, or at least, it is for us.





Yesterday, it was time to go back in the stinky PTU again to get on the train, but this time,


I'd had enough, and boy did I shout! It was so bad that the human actually thought I'd peepeed


again, but of course, I hadn't. I mean, what self-respecting ladycat would peepee in her own PTU? Last time wasn't my fault. I was calling for a mancat, and you gotta peepee more when you're like that. I couldn't help it! I was just sick of being stuffed in that thing! Even when she took me out on the train, I carried on shouting. I made her embarrassed all over again, but you know what? I didn't care! She said it was the longest few hours of her life, and she wishes I had an off button. It did get me plenty of attention though. Because of my smart jacket, one little girl even thought I might be a guide cat, cuz it was kinda like the thing Dogface used to wear when she was a guide dog, only mine was a lot nicer of course. I did settle down eventually, but I still wasn't happy, and I kept letting her know with grumbles from time to time.





We got back pretty late last night. All I wanted to do was eat, and all she wanted to do was sleep, but she had to have a shower and do some washing and make the bed and unpack her suitcase, and even make phone calls. It was Bug's step-dad's birthday yesterday, and it was the birthday of the middle humankitten that lives with Phoebe, so she called them to say hi. She also called Bug, but almost fell asleep on the phone with him. I was helping though. She can't stay awake when I cuddle her tummy, which I was doing last night.





Boy, it's good to be home again! I like travelling, but there's a lot of moving around involved in it, and it becomes a bit tiresome from time to time. The human says I tolerate it well, and so I do. I don't get worried or stressed in new places so long as the human is around, so she feels worse about leaving me behind when she goes places when compared to taking me with her. I'm happy to keep it this way. I like seeing new bits of the world.





But now, on to the big, big news. You remember I mentioned a while back that I would hopefully be having kittens? Well, the human, as you know, calls herself a breeder. However, as we've mentioned, she loves all her cats so much that we are members of the family first and foremost. As her breeding gets more serious though, she knows that other members will be added to our family. Now, she's of the opinion that all those living in a household should like each other and get along, but she also knows that when a mummycat is allowed to keep a kitten with her, they tend to be very exclusive with one another and pretty much ignore others, if they're closely bonded, that is. When you have a bonded group of two cats, it makes it easier for them to shun the rest. But of course, if she is to continue breeding, then some of our kittens will have to stay with us, right? This posed a lot of problems, as she didn't want to create little isolated groups of cats in the house, but what to do?





Well, it just so happens that both Dogman and Dogman's niece and even her mummypeople are all wanting a Persian cat. Isn't that great? Dogman has been thinking about it for some time. He loves me, but he had a real soft spot for mummycat which has never really gone away. He says he's been fighting with himself not to get one, but since I've been staying with him, he says he really misses me when I'm not around. His niece has wanted a Persian for years, as has her mummypeople who she doesn't live with any more. This is excellent news for me, and for the human. For me, cuz my kittens, well three of them at least, are guaranteed to find super duper homes and stay close enough that we can both go visit them if we like.





The human had a conversation with Dogman and the niece and explained the problems she foresaw. Both of them seemed thrilled, and she couldn't work out why until they made it clear. Many peoples believe that an animal must have a litter in order for maturation to be complete. I tend to agree in part myself, cuz I know that I'm missing out on something, something that my mummycat had, and all the others who had kittens had. On the other hand, if there aren't good homes for kittens, then it's irresponsible to bring babies into the world. Anyway, enough on that. So ideally, Dogman and the niece wanted their cats to have at least one litter of kittens before they got their ladygardenectomies. This suited the human just fine, cuz it means that she can have a kitten from one or both of the litters, and bring them into our house. As we won't be mummycat and daughters, it means that they will be treated as any other cat would. Sure we might bond, but it's unlikely to be as close as that of mummycat and daughter, so it still leaves room for the other cats in the house. So the human has agreed that, as long as they will let her have the first litter, she will give them each a kitten, and handle all the hard parts of the breeding herself like the birth, the stud, the mating. It also means that her programme progresses much more quickly. Realistically, if I have kittens this year and even one of them is a keeper, she can be on the third generation of her breeding programme within a year. This allows her to establish her lines very quickly, and to make sure that, not only does she have the best, most healthy and beautiful ladycats for breeding, but that her kittens find really good homes. As we've said before, Dogface couldn't have found a better home with Dogman, and even with me she


has to tell him off for spoiling me too much... He gives me whole tins of tuna, not just portions! I like his niece too. She talks real nice to me and she even brushed me too and gave me good chin tickles. She looks after Dogface sometimes too, and she loves her.





Wow, wasn't that a long post? I told you a lot had happened! I'm sorry that I haven't been round to visit you others. The human says she will try to do it at some point today, but she's still trying to catch up on washing and work hunting, as she did have two days off last week and there's a lot needing doing! I will help her by lying on the keyboard, headbutting her right when she's trying to concentrate, and crawling on her to force her to turn away from the computer. I will also do my impression of a cat statue in repose on top of the clean, cat-hair and wrinkle free ironing. I hope she appreciates my hard work!

Friends, Jackets and Birthdays

Well, how about that for another random title. And I didn't even have to use the word random! Before I explain any of it, I'd like to say a huge thank you to Kara. Wasn't that a great celebrity appearance by her? Some of her ideas might be a little bit, ah, out-dated, particularly her views on young queens, but as she did say herself, she's an old ladycat, and one can't argue with the vast wisdom she possesses. Kara, I know your posting tenure with us will be short, but I think my readers will make the most of it! It was sad news about kitten Ming, even if it wasn't entirely unexpected, according to my human. Apparently, Bug tried and tried and tried, but the baby was just hassling Kara too much, and as she intimated yesterday, it just wasn't worth it any more.




On to lighter stuff though, cuz today isn't the day to be depressed, or so says my human who managed to get a different type of mr bug at work and was sent home. Why is she determined to be cheerful? I'll tell you why. Cuz it's only two more days till her birthday! I asked her if that means she'll stop having the mentality of a kitten, but she only grunted something very, very rude at me and walked off. I don't know what I should do for her special day. I'm thinking maybe a present would be in order. But then, the only things I have to give are hair balls and litterbox presents. Wonder if that will satisfy?





She's strange though. She says that, for her birthday, she's gonna use a little of the money that the HGG gave her to buy me a walking jacket. It sounds really smart, actually, and way, way more comfy than the stupid harnesses she's had on me before. Who knows, for her present, I might even let her put it on me! I might also even go outside!





Just to update you, we haven't forgotten about the videos of me killing the chicken. We're still waiting for Dogman to send them to the human so that she can put them up.





I like to think of myself as a tradition breaker, so, instead of having Friends on Friday, I've decided to have Friends on Monday instead. I'm going to start by featuring a blog that is part written by a stinkin' dogface, and partly by the unfortunate people forced to own her. The people sounds quite nice, actually. I thought it would be nice for some of you to go look at, despite the fact there's a Dogface there, cuz this dogface is a working one, just like the human's was, sept that Tori, the people, is newly qualified with her. I know a lot of you were interested in the human's experiences, but here, you can read about them in more detail. Please drop by, and feel free to leave them a comment!Here's the link





Ok, so if I'm honest, the Dogface isn't all that bad. Working ones rarely are. They also featured Sparkles on their blog, which was super nice of them! Until next time friends, hassle those peoples!

What a Day

The human here, and I don't have the heart to write a very long, entertaining post, so I'll cut right to the chase. Tia is once more at the vets. She had diarrhoea twice this morning, and threw up three times inside a quarter of an hour. She didn't even finish her wet food, something unheard of. I rushed her down straight away, and she's in for treatment again. I have no idea how long they're keeping her this time, but I'm heartsick of this. It needs to stop.


I've spent all day phoning national zoonosis organisations (the disease is zoonotic, as it spreads between species). I've also been to my own doctor to demand further testing as I had a relapse earlier this week. I had to fight tooth and nail to have any testing done at all. By the end of it, it had pretty much degenerated into a screaming match, but thanks to my medical background, I got my own way and the tests have been done. There's definitely an infection there. Urine shows increased leukocytes, but I need to wait for the others to come back.


I am so, so worried about this. I just wish we could identify what it is. I'm running out of options now, and I don't know where to turn to next. Sorry this Friday isn't more cheerful.

Wednesday Winners, New Competition and Lots of Other Stuff

We've got lots and lots and lots of things to tell you today, but we'll start with the most important thing; the winners!





Thank you all so much for telling me and the human about the naughty things you do. Some of them were very bad indeed. Well done to you all, and thanks for taking the risk of admitting your pranks. I promise, I won't let Santa Paws see them.





Our winner for this week though is Pixil and his human Karen. Well done to you both! The human says she's going to check and see if they do the combination you asked for, cuz we think they will only do one colour in each pack. Could you please email us with your address and I'll send her to the post office to post them to you? Thanks so much for entering!





This week is similar to last week, only we've got a different website, still for Soft Claws, and a different question. Here are the steps you need to enter.





1. Visit The new Soft Claws website
2. Tell us one thing that's nice about it, i.e, one thing they did well.
3. I know this is asking a lot for you to admit this, but also tell me one thing nice you do. It's embarrassing to admit you can be nice to the peoples for any other reason than that you're training them, but console yourselves with the fact that Santa Paws will be more generous to you if you're nice.
4. Tell us what size and colour of Soft Claws you'd like.





As before, the competition will run until midnight GMT next Tuesday, and, as before, please don't enter multiple times if you've won already, sept if you're winning the Soft Claws to help out cuz green papers are an issue. If they are, we'd love to see you win more than one pack!





We got some more news today, and we can't decide if it's good or not. I'm going for mixed, and so is the human. We finally got the retirement date for Dogface. She's struggling to do the work hunt now that it's winter and cold and her arthritis hurts. Personally, I think she's jealous of me and it's just an excuse to stay home all day like I do, but the human and the vet peoples believe her. It's hard being smarter than everyone sometimes. Anyway, her retirement is set for Monday 20th which is also the day that the human leaves me yet again so she can go and see other peoples. These peoples are her family though. It's good news cuz at least we know when Dogface will be leaving, but it's bad news for the human cuz it doesn't give her a lot of time to say goodbye.





We're just waiting on confirmation from the Guide Dogs peoples, but when the human spoke to them today, they said it was pretty certain that Dogman would be allowed to take her to his house so she can live with him and he can be covered in Dogface slobber and hair for the rest of his life. Personally, I can't see what the attraction is, but they obviously love each other. Each to his own, I suppose. They're going to officially confirm tomorrow. The human says that if Molly has to go, this is absolutely the best place for her. She's going to somebody she lived with for years when the human first got her, and where she visits to stay when the human goes on holidays. Dogman loves her and she loves him as I've said, and he spoils her rotten. To top it all off, the human will still be able to see her whenever she wants.





Now, for those of you who have come to read my musings for quite some time, you will know that, in times of need, I can be a selfless kind of cat. I sent my human to help train Babycat's people, Bug, even though it cost me dearly. Friends, I'm about to do something similar, and I suspect I'll live to regret this just as much as I did the last time. Now, the admission that follows shall only be spoken once, and shall be destroyed directly after you read it. If I'm ever questioned about it, I will deny all knowledge of ever having said it. Here goes.





I feel sorry for Dogface. yep, you heard me. Even though she knows the people she's going to live with and the place where she's going to live, she doesn't know she's staying there forever this time. She's too stupid to realise that. I'm not though, and I feel for her. That is why I have made a hard decision.





This Christmas, the human is going away for ten days to see the HG's mummypeople. I guess she'd be called the HGG. I've actually met the human great grandmother a few months ago. She's really nice and very warm and soft, and she's the best HGG in the world cuz she always said how yummy and lovely I looked and she always brushed me and cuddled me. She even wanted to take me home when it was time for her and the horrible manpeople to leave (human note: a family friend who is a neat freak and kept cleaning Tia hair off the sofa every time she so much as brushed past it. A real pain!). In short, she's wonderful! Anyway, I'm getting side tracked. Impossible not to when you're talking about a person who thinks you're the best cat ever. So, the human's going off there, and I'd planned a quiet few days in the house without her and Dogface. A girl needs some alone time, right? But i've decided that, for the sake of my fellow cat, or unfellow Dogface in this instance, I need to put it on hold. Reluctantly, I have come to the conclusion that if I want Dogface to be happy, I need to oversee the settling in period. Accordingly, I have made arrangements and will be travelling to Dogman's house with Dogface and the human at the end of next week. I will stay there until the human comes back, and will make sure Dogface has a familiar person to look at while she works out that this is her new home. And if that's not selfless, I don't know what is!





Self destruct initiated!





In other news, I got a new toy today. It's a ball with feathers on the top and it's all wrapped in rope and rattles when you whap it. The human roled mine in catnip before she gave it to me today. Actually, she tried something else first, another toy, but I can't tell you about that one cuz we bought one the same for the Santa Paws. I didn't like it though, or at least, I pretended I didn't. I knew there were more toys in that bag, and why be contented with one when, if you play your human just right, you know you'll get more! She eventually gave in and I got the ball. And oh what fun it is! When you pounce the feathers, they move. When you chase them, the ball runs away! If you try to bunny kick it, it slips out of your grasp and tries to hide somewhere else. Oh, what fun it is! I love, love, love it! I only played with it for a few moments though. Can't have the human thinking that she's worked out my toy preferences, and anyway, it wouldn't be dignified to turn into a big pile of kitten at the sight of a new play thing.





The human also did something today that she's very proud of. It's gonna sound small, but I don't care. I'm proud of her too for this cuz I know how worried she is about it. When she's not with Dogface, she uses a long white stick called a cane to help her not bump into things. It's been so long since she's had to use it exclusively though that she's very nervous now. She needs to build her confidence up. Today on the way out of the work hunt, she got her PA to walk with Dogface and she used the stick, right through the middle of the main corridor of the hospital at its busiest time. There were peoples everywhere, it was noisy, confusing, they kept getting in her way, but she still didn't give up, and made it right all the way to the exit. She was nervous doing it, but now that Dogface's date is set, she knows she needs to get good at it real quick. Well done human for forcing yourself to do it before you absolutely have to. I think if peoples get in your way next time, use the stick to thwap them with. Then you'll be Ok.





In our last piece of awesome news, somebody somewhere thinks my human is the best human ever, or good enough to offer her something called an interview at any rate. It's for a physiotherapy work hunt job. She says an interview is where you go and talk to peoples who have read the application form papers you wrote, then tell them all about you. Well, isn't that what application papers are for? I'll never understand all this time wasting! The interview is near where I am staying for Christmas, so the human is going to take us up there the night before, then go for the interview, then spend the weekend with Dogman and us before she goes to see the awesome HGG.





So it's mostly good news all round today. I'm glad of it. I'm also sorry for the long, long post. She goes from not writing anything to writing everything all at once, but we just had to share all the joy today!

Worried Wednesday

Yes, I am worried indeed. I think I'm losing my friends! Impossible that others would stop loving me, I know, but since I've got back, only two have commented on what I've written, compared to the 18 or so when I left. Have I done something wrong? Was my pee-pee problem too much to handle? If so, I could always make a promise never to do it again... Until the next time, that is.

In any case, I've had a fairly good few days. The human is mostly around to cuddle except when she leaves to go to the work thing, and mummycat is eating again, although not that much really. The human's still worried about her, but if her miaowing is anything to go by, she's more than healthy! She's been making a right old noise. It even kept the human awake last night, but when she opened the door to try and coax her to come sleep with us, Mummycat, after taking one look at the big, open space of the house, ran and hid in her litterbox. The human got mad, saying that the breeder who had her should have socialised her better instead of keeping her in a cattery. Before she decided to send her back to our old house, she spoke to a lot of friends she has who have lots of cats. They told her that there are some cats who never adjust to home life if they've been in a cattery since the day they were born. They say it's rare, but after about three months of trying, my human thinks she might be one of those poor unfortunates. It's making her eyes run when she thinks of how Mummycat is happiest in those kind of conditions, and she really wishes she could do something about it, but she's out of options. Now, given that Mummycat's not eating, is obviously very unhappy, and is losing weight rapidly, she needs to do what's best for her, even if she doesn't like it. I keep telling her she'll be Ok. Mummycat's sister is there, and although I hate her with a passion, they get on great.

My human says I'm to tell you a bit more about Alaska and Canada today, but I'm getting tired of talking about it. I'll tell you some, but I'm going to keep it short.

In Canada, she had a brilliant day where she went tubing and flying, all in the same afternoon! Tubing is where you sit on a big inflatable ring in the water. It's tied behind a boat. The idea is that the boat pulls the ring and tries to flip you off into the water. Again, my point that peoples have no sense is illustrated. Why on earth would you sit on something in water in the first place? And what's more, why would you voluntarily allow yourself to be dunked in the horrible wet stuff? I showed hoover lady what I thought of water on Saturday when I scratched her good as she was bathing me, but my human doesn't even do that. She did ask not to be tipped though. She doesn't like that bit. Bug's cousin was driving the boat, so he was nice and didn't do it to her.

Bug's cousins have a friend who owns a little plane that can seat two people. The people is a flight instructor, so the aeroplane has two controls. Because of this, both Bug and my human got turns to fly in it. Bug did loops, but the human was too scared. I can understand this. Being up high is great. We both agree on this, even though she doesn't make the same efforts at home as I do to find high places. I'm the one who climbs on tables and cupboards, not her. But being high and upside down is another matter.

That's all about the holidays for today. I'm going to email a photo of myself to Zoolatry's people
in the hopes that she'll get her people to photoshop it for me. That way, I can at last have a photo on my blog, and you all get to see the yum yum that is me.

There's more good news too. The tuna comes today! The human's more excited about the chocolate in the shopping, but for once I don't mind that she hasn't a very good brain. If she leaves the fish alone, it means there's more for me.

Until tomorrow, you faithful two.

Pee-Pees and Polar Bears

The human went away today again to the thing she's called work, so I've had the time to think about my post and make it a good one. I've also got privacy to tell you about a naughty little problem I had when the human was gone for such a long time. I don't want her seeing my words today. She thinks I'm super good and never naughty, but this is a post for Scafflaw week if ever there was one.

I've told you that I have mixed feelings about hoover lady, haven't I? When I sent my human away to help Babycat, I knew that hoover lady would be doing things for me like cleaning my box and giving me yummy food, but I didn't know that she'd also be living in the house most of the time. She and the human said this was to stop me and Mummycat getting lonely, but I could have done without that company I'm sure. Well, when this cat don't like something, you can guarantee she's gonna say something about it! What I said was very stinky and very evident. A few days after the human left, I did something I know I'm not supposed to do. I did a number two mess on the sofa, on the bit that my human always sits on, but which was now covered in hoover lady's smell. I was only trying to protect my human's territory, but hoover lady got cross and took away the blanket the human puts on the sofa. She even washed it and covered it with stinky people clean clothes smell!

I wasn't happy about that either. What was to be done, I asked myself. I needed to stop hoover lady coming into mine and the human's snuggle zone, but if I did a number two, she'd just take it away again. So, I launched the next attack. I did a pee-pee.

This one worked better. Because of the colour of the blanket, hoover lady didn't see the stain. Now the sofa smelled of me, but hoover lady didn't know. She cleans all the time, so her nose is always filled with stinky clean people smell. I think that's why she didn't notice. Unfortunately, it didn't stop her sitting there, but whenever her smell got too strong, I just topped it up with a strategically placed dribble here and there.

When my human came home and sat down though, that was the first thing she smelled. She has a good nose for a people. I guess it's because she pays attention to what she's sniffing given that her eyes can't tell her where the pee-pee is. She didn't shout at me much though, so I guess she fooled herself as to the reason why I did it. You see, my messing corresponded with idiot hoover lady changing my litterbox depth. The human keeps it nice and deep cuz I like to kick and bury my number twos. I'm a lady after all, and having that lying around is not very mannerly. Hoover lady only put a shallow layer in the box though, and the human has convinced herself that this is why I scented the sofa. I did that once before when she tried to make me use pine litter, so it was easy to make her think along the same lines twice. If she knew I'd done it to mark our territory though, she'd be mighty cross, which is why I'm writing this in private.

She's still tired from all of that flying she did. I don't know how she flew because most of the birdies I see are way too small to carry her, but she doesn't lie, so I suppose I'll have to believe her. She says I should tell you about the polar bear today. Don't worry. It didn't eat her, even though she lay on it's tummy!

The human, Bug, Bug's mummypeople, the mummypeople's peoplehusband and Bug's cousin were all in Alaska together, and they all went to see a place called the Ice Museum in Chena. I wouldn't like it. Ice is far too cold for me, but peoples are silly, so they didn't have the sense not to go. This place is a building totally made from ice. It used to be an ice hotel, but the fire people closed it down because the fire safety regulations weren't met. I ask you! You can't set ice on fire, so why does it matter! Once again, it just illustrates the reason why Whicky calls his peoples apes. Here, I'm afraid I have to agree with him. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? The ice might melt, they might have to swim to safety, but they could also play with their rubber duckies on the way, so they'd have fun. Incidentally, the human brought four of those home and put them on the far edge of the bath. I'm trying to work out how to get them without getting too close to the dangerous tub where all the water comes from. Any ideas?

Anyway, back to the story. In this ice museum there are lots of different sculptures all made from carving blocks of ice. The tour guide was silly too. He said that the human and Bug couldn't touch anything. How were they going to see if they couldn't touch? They see with their hands, but the guide didn't care. They touched anyway, but were as sneaky as a cat in doing it and hid behind other people so that the guide couldn't see them. The human said that the ice feels like really shiny, smooth glass or maybe even cold, slick metal. That's how smoothe it is.

As I said, they had lots of sculptures there. There was a princess and a horse, a moose and even a chess set! She touched some lovely spiral roman collumns that were by the doorways and then there was the bar. This is about 35 ft long and is solid ice. It's even held up by ice pillars. You can get drinks there in ice glasses too.

Off the bar, there are a number of different rooms. There is an iglu, a christmas tree room which has lights frozen into the ice tree so that the decorations look like they're sparkling, and even a room where the bed is a polar bear. He looks like he's on his back with his head up, watching all of the peoples who sleep on the bed which is in his tummy. The human had him as her favourite. There was even an ice outhouse! The human didn't use it. Thank goodness, I say. It wouldn't be fun to put bare skin against ice, nuh-uh! I suppose she has some little sense after all.

When they came out of the ice place, Human and Bug's hands were very, very cold from all the sneaky touching they had been doing, but neither of them seemed to mind too much. If I wasn't too busy pee-peeing on the sofa, I might have let the human warm them on me, but I had more important things to do at that point.

Well, I suppose that's all for today. Except that I forgot to mention the most important thing. Today and yesterday there has been no wet food! The human says she's run out of tuna, and I won't eat the yucky chicken that hoover lady brought. Human says her shopping doesn't come until tomorrow, but what do I care? I'm wasting away here! It's not fun at all! I've been crying and crying at her, but it hasn't worked. I even cuddled right up on the pillow with her last night, then wormed in by her tummy, thinking that if I was extra sweet and slept extra tight-close and snuggly with her that she'd give me some fish in the morning, but she didn't. I'm going to try the ever-so-sweet and cuddly Tia face when she gets home to see if that does the trick. Watch this space!

The Human is Back!

Yes, yes, yes, she arrived back today! Ahem, excuse me. I know it's not fashionable for us cats to show our excitement like that, but really, she's back! She even brought a suitcase with her, although she says I'm not allowed to play in it as it contains something called gifts. I know they're all for me, so why I shouldn't romp in them I don't know, but she won't be persuaded.

She arrived back this morning, well, in the middle of the dark time really, because the sun was barely up. When she came through the door she even sounded tired when she called my name. Now, cats, I'm sure you'll agree with me that when your peoples have been away for a time, the correct thing to do is to scorn their attempts to cuddle you when they get home. If they've been away for a long time, we are to ignore them until they give up, showing them that we haven't forgotten that they abandoned us, then, just when they lose all hope, jump onto their lap and show them how much we've missed them.

I did this, and in my opinion, I pulled off the first part well, or rather, I had the potential to. When the human came in, I didn't just ignore her. I hid. She pushed the suitcase through the door, dropped all her bags and flopped on the sofa. Still, I ignored her. But then she started to call me. I struggled, but I'm afraid to admit that I lost the battle. As you know, I missed her dreadfully, and at the sound of the voice, I crumbled.

I've told you that I never jump directly onto the human's lap, but today was an exception, and she didn't seem to mind. In fact, she seemed to quite like it. There followed an extatic half hour of cuddling, tickling and general admiration on her part.

She disappeared for a time after that, and I got worried again that she'd go away and not come back for more time, but she was only gone for a short while, and when she did reappear, she had mummycat's smell on her. She says mummycat was so happy to see her that she even miaowed very loudly and let herself be picked up, something she's usually too timid to allow. The human is very, very worried about her though. The apetite supplements worked while mummycat was taking them, but over the last three weeks, she's lost a lot of weight and is really quite skinny. The peoples that we lived with before the human have said they'll have her back the Friday after this one, and the human thinks this is probably best for her. She's still too timid to come out of the room and she's obviously unhappy in there on her own. The human doesn't like to see any cat shut up, so even though it keeps mummycat happier than if she was given the full house, it still upsets her to see it.

There's so much to tell you that I don't really know where to start. It'll probably take a couple of days, but as my human's so forgetful, I'm going to list the things I'll tell you about here. First of all, and most importantly, there's the mousies she brought me home. Then there's the things she did like gold mining and visiting native villages and going in hot springs and lots more besides. I don't know what most of these things are, so I'll probably let the human talk about them. Then there's the news on Molly which I may or may not tell you today. After that we have the human's training of Babycat's people plus my pee-pee problem while she's been away. In true cat style, these aren't listed in the order I'll talk about them in.

I suppose I should do the Babycat's problems first of all, as they're the reason I sent my human in the first place. When she got there, she did a quick scan of the situation and decided that the Babycat didn't need as much help as we thought. He, in typical kitten fashion, over-dramatised everything. The human watched Babycat's people with him for a time, then determined that, like every kitten, the Babycat got pretty much what he wanted when he wanted it. Ok, the people doesn't cuddle him all the time, but 80% isn't bad. All right, he doesn't get wet food every day, but he does have dry on demand. See, I'm luckier there. I have both. The human didn't feel that Babycat was starved, so she didn't say anything. Now for that, I'm cross with her, and I plan to tell her so when I'm done showing her how much I missed her. Every cat deserves stinky wet food!

There's some breaking news though. Turns out I've met Babycat's people before. When the human came home, his smell was on her and I remember it, although it was a long time ago. The first time I saw the human, he was with her. He tickled my tummy and he played with me at the place where I used to live with Mummycat and the others. He also did things to get me a little mad, just to make sure I wouldn't bite or be nasty. The human said she was a bit worried because, when I play or get cross, I'm a bit handy with my claws as I've told you before, but I never do it to seriously hurt. Babycat's people convinced her to take me home anyway, so I guess I should kind of like him, right? He also cuddled me when this place was a big and scary new place. He's good at cuddling, but also good at knowing what annoys me. He talks a lot too. I've decided that he should be called bug, but for a number of reasons. Firstly, he's a cuddlebug. Secondly, he's gotta be a lovebug because he got me lots of love from my human and he also gave me love too, although I like the human's better. Thirdly, he knows how to bug me when he fluffs what he calls my bellyfur, and when he tweaks my nose. Fourthly, he's a talkbug cuz he never is quiet!

Now that that's decided, I can get back to my story. If I'd known it was Bug that was Babycat's people, I'd never have sent my human. For all the reasons outlined above, Bug is a good cat person, so there's no way he'd do anything bad to his kitten, except bug him of course.

Bug also has an older cat named Cara who my human thinks is an absolute sweetheart. I suppose I should dislike Cara for this alone, but I can't find it in myself. I'm too happy to have the human back. She says that Cara is a real teddy bear. Cara doesn't seem to mind though. She slept with the human a lot, and even cuddled her like I do when I lie on my back and headbut her until she tickles my yummy tummy.

This is where the trouble starts though. Babycat has a bit of a problem with Cara and spends most of his time chasing her when she dares to come out from one of the hiding places that she chooses to stay away from him. My human thinks it's because he's very attached to and possessive of Bug and doesn't like it when Cara gets attention or even looks like she might be wanting some. He's also a kitten though, so as well as being dominant, he's wanting to play some of the time. Splatcat(the nickname given to her by the human because of the way she flops over for a tummy tickle) is too old to play with babies, so she just hisses at him and then runs away. The human tried to teach her to stand her ground and kick his baby butt just once so that he'd leave her alone, but teddies don't fight, and so she just kept running. The more this happened, the more upset the human got. She doesn't like to see animals unhappy. Bug is doing what he can to rectify this though.

After spending a week at Bug's living place, the human and Bug left both of the cats to go to a place called Alaska, which is apparently super cold in the winter, or so says the other cat the human calls Fatcat who lives with Bug's mummypeople. This one is lovely, or so she says. She's really old though, and has sore bones, so you have to be really careful when you pick her up. I'm glad I'll never get like that.

Alaska was where the human and Bug went looking for shiny gold and visiting Athabascan indians and all sorts of exciting things, but that's for another post. I've had to sacrifice my place on the human's knee so that she can type this, and I'm not happy about it. I'm done posting for now so that I can cuddle again. More tomorrow.

By the way, keep an eye out for Tortureshell Tuesday. I plan to launch it very, very soon.