Wednesday, 11 April 2012

I'm Leaving!

Friends, I'm moving out. I've had enough of this human and this place, so I'm leaving!

She forgot my Birthday! Yes, friends, you read that right, she actually forgot! I woke her nice and early on Sunday morning with lots of head rubbing and purrs and kneading, and do you know what she said? "Ah,
Tia, it's only 4:30 and I don't have to get up for work today. Go away, you purry monster, and let me sleep!" She did give me scritches, but that's not the point. But I'm a nice ladycat, so after I was done getting my cuddles, I allowed her a lie in, then went back and woke her again. "Ah, Tia, it's only 4:45, and I don't have to get up for work today." That lazy lout didn't get up until gone 5 AM! And even then, all she did was complain. "You've got enough food in your bowls to feed a small army of cats who're on an extended campaign, Tia. Why on earth did you get me up!" I'd had enough now, so I ignored her all the rest of the morning. She got madder and muttered something about "darn cat doesn't even want to know me now she's got me up," but my mind was elsewhere.

Now, we polite cats know that it's not polite to tell peoples that it's our Birthday, so I just waited and waited in the knowledge that there's no way she could ever forget me. The morning rolled by and there was no sign of tuna. The afternoon showed up, and I wasn't given any prawns. And then the evening popped in to say hello, and still my bowl was devoid of any sign of cod. Friends, the injustice of that hurt terribly, even more so when she started to play with Computer instead of me. And then, all of a sudden, "Oh, Tia! It's your
Birthday! I've just seen comments from your friends, and I forgot!" At last, I thought. Now comes the good stuff. But even that was short lived.

"Oh but Tia," said she, "I haven't even bought you a present!" Well, my hopes fell at that point, and I went back to ignoring her. I'm so mis-treated in this house that I think somebody needs to call the RSPCA on my behalf. I mean, whoever heard of a ladycat's fifth Birthday being forgotten! That's terrible cruelty! I haven't worked out how to use these new touch screen phone things yet though, so I can't call them myself, and anyway, they're not clever enough to understand Felinese. Do any of you have a sympathetic people I could
borrow to do the job for me? I'm desperate here!

So what did I do on my Birthday? Well, nothing really. I ate the subsistance rations I was offered. I slept in the new bed on the yummy scratchy post. I beat up Millie just cuz she was annoying me, and most importantly, I hunted for a mancat, but I couldn't find one! There's a nice boy that keeps coming into the garden, and he even anointed the human's wash basket that she'd left out there while her laundry was
drying on the line. I was very, very interested in it when she brought it back inside, but she's such a kill joy that she just took the basket away from me and scrubbed it out, saying bad things about that "dirty mancat" while she did it. How dare she!

Well, life goes on as always here. I'm done looking for mancats, well, for today anyway. My human says she's found one for me and that I can go and see him next time I feel that I'd like to, so I'm excited! The kitten still doesn't understand about my urges at all, and I'm quite happy for it to stay that way. The human apparently is too. "One grumpy, hormonal female at a time in the house is enough thank you," is what she said right before I smacked her, then ran off to beat up the baby cuz she dared to sit where I wanted to. She's so rude sometimes!

So, I'd like to thank all of you who came by to wish me a happy birthday and, unlike my human, didn't forget me! At least I know who my real friends are!

The photos from the show finally arrived, so here's a few of me and the baby for you to enjoy!


Hannah and Lucy said...

Tia we can't believe your human forgot the most important date in the calendar - not a birthday card or a present!! Meows fail us and we think your Mum needs reporting for this serious neglect.
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

Random Felines said...

we are so ashamed....we missed it too. But it is terrible that the human missed it. sheesh - good help is so hard to find.

But, we must say, both of you ladies are very lovely!!!

Reposit├│rio said...

Oh poor Tia!!!!!!! Don´t go!!!!
Certainly your human has a good excuse!

Shawn said...

The Nerve..No Tuna..No Prawns...No Cod......we guess you didn't get any NIP either!!!!!!!!

These hoomans need to get their act together..or we are going to start our own Occupy Movement!!!!!!! For now, we will occupy our Mom's nice, soft's nappy time!
Your furiends,
Chloe and Cecil

Sweet Purrfections said...

Happy Belated Birthday, Tia. We're sorry we missed your day, but our mom has been really busy. We love your photos!

Truffle and Brulee

Katie and Da Katz said...

happy purrthday Tia!
I doo hope ur furgive ur Mom...
probably all dats workin stress gots to hur... plz haves dis catnipp cake.

Katie KittyToo

~E said...

I haven't been on but I hope you have had a great belated Bday xo

Karen said...

happy gotcha day. I hope she remembered