Hihihihihi! Guess what? My human is stupid! I know I know. I still love her, but she's stupider than my stupid, stinky brothers were! You know why? Cuz she gotted her numbers mixed up and she thinked that our super duper competition ended yesterday stead of a whole week ago! How rubbish is that? We're sorry!
Anyway, without further a-do, I get to tell you all who the winner is! I want it to be me, but the human and my booooring old mummycat say that that's not fair cuz I've already tried all the foods and another somebody needs a chance to try it. But shhhh, maybe I'll sneaky some outta the bag before it gets sent away. Don't tell on me though!
Anyway, the winner is............ Hannah and Lucy! Concatulations to the both of you! But I think that Hannah and Lucy shouldn't have telled each other that they were entering, and then if one of them winned, they could keep it a secret and they wouldn't hafta share with the other one! That's what I woulda done, cuz this food is yummy, yummy, yummy! My human says to Hannah and Lucy could they please tell their people somebody to email her their address details and we'll get the prize posted to you! Also, we need a time when you'll be in, and a date pretty please. What's an email?
I've decided. my human is sel, sel, um, not very good at sharing. Oh, I member the word now! It's shellfish! She is! She never shares her yummy foods with me sept for the time when she telled Dogman (that's what my mummycat says his name is) to give me a chip once cuz I was asking really politely for one. My human says I was pestering, but I wasn't! I was just sitting beside his plate and telling him loudly that I wanted one, and sniffing at them and trying to take one. That's polite! At least I didn't just grab and run! When I gotted the chip I ran away with it in my mouth and I didn't share with nobody and I hided behind the chair and eated it all up myself in secret. And I like chips. But the human won't give me any. She says they aren't cat foods and so I don't get to have them. How shellfish is that!
I'm so clever, you know. My mummycat is a bit stupid, but shhh, don't tell her I telled you that else she'll smack me! My human has this super duper ball thing that she calls a treat ball. And she puts really yummy foods in there and if you wanna eat them, you hafta push the ball till it rolls over and spits out some foods. I use the ball maybe 3 times every week, and mummycat, even though she watches me every time, still doesn't know how to get the foods out. She just sits there and cries at the ball, but it doesn't spit out any foods for her. I think it's great, cuz then I don't hafta share! And even when the human tries to feed mummycat some of the treaties without me seeing, I'm so clever that I do see, and I come and copy mummycat and put my paws on the human and shove my face right into her hand and eat real, real fast so's mummycat can't have them all to herself. And it's cool cuz I know that even when I'm finished, there's still loads in the ball that's all mine!
I love to carry things in my mouth too, and mummycat doesn't do that neither. I've bringed two mousies into the bedroom and put them beside the bed thing for a present for the human in the mornings. She always tells me how clever I am for giving her a present. I have glittery balls too, and a straw thing with a glittery ball on the end too, and I pick them up in my mouth and then I jump on the human's knee in my chair and I drop the thing on her and then she tells me how clever I am. And then she wiggles the straw thing or throws the ball for me and then I gotta run real, real fast and jump on it real good and pick it up and kill it and then bring it back to her again. And it's such a cool game!
But yesterday, my human was real horrible to me. Dogman was still at the house, so the human leaved without putting any new stinky goodness in my bowl! But she forgotted to tell Dogman to feed us too, and he doesn't check the bowls a lot cuz he doesn't feed us. And I gotted hungrier and hungrier and I climbed on him and I said "weeeeow!" but he didn't do nothing sept give me a cuddle and then go on typing on Computer. and then I jumped on the back of the chair and I said "Weeeeow!" and he didn't do nothing again! And then I jumped on Computer and started attacking the little moving thing that was wiggling. And then he did do something. And he picked me up and he said "Millie, stop attacking the mouse. I can't work when you're doing that!" And I said "Weeeeow! Weeeeow!" and I put my claws out and holded onto him real tight but all he did was put me down. And then I went and lay sadly by my stinky goodness bowl, and my tummy went all hurty and rumbly and it sounded like there was a monster in there. And so I runned away and went on the sofa instead, cuz all somebodies know that a monster can't get you if you're under a blanket on the sofa. My mummycat asked me why I didn't eat the dry foods, but I didn't answer her. I was starving! I didn't care if there was dry foods. I needed stinky goodness!
And then my human came home and she feeded me and I eated and eated and eated until the monster went away and my tummy wanted to say pop! And then I gived the human a big cuddle. And then I went and climbed into the chair with Dogman and I lay on my back and he tickled my tummy and I went to sleep, cuz all somebodies know that monsters can't get you when you're sleeping on a somebody.
But then I heard mummycat crying her "I'm in the bath and I don't like it" cry, so I went to see and the bathroom door was closed and the human wouldn't let me in. Sept she did, but only after mummycat went out all wrapped up in a towel. But then I didn't want to go in cuz it was my turn for a bath. But do you know what? I sat like a very good girlcat and I only tried to jump out twice. But I let her wash my legs and my tail and everywhere and I tried to eat the bubbles that came into the bath just like magic! But my human said "no, Millie. You'll get sick. And anyway, I can't wash you when you're diving on bubbles." So I stopped and was good again. And then I got air on me from the nois