Wednesday, 6 February 2013

Apache, Revealed!

Ok peoples, apparently (aren't I clever for using big words like
that?) it's my turn to write acuz I'm the new one here and mummycat
says that I gotta write to tell you all who I am. But you already know
who I am acuz you saw me when I was a eeny weeny babycat, didn't you!
Anyway, my name's Apache. I know you know it already, but mummycat
says I gotta tell you my name else you'll not know who I am, and I do
what mummycat tells me to, well, I do when she's watchin' acuz if I
don't, she'll smack me for being a bad babycat.

I'll be 6 months old in 6 days, and that's big! I think I get to be a
girlcat when I'm 6 months old, right? When all my brothers and sisters
had chosen their new slaves to live with, the human told me I'd have
to choose too, but I'd already done it. The human is my person. I love
her and love her and love her some more. I give her lotsa kissies even
when she insults me by telling peoples I lick her like a dog. I
snuggle into her neck, I get in bed with her. I purpurpur so loudly
that my whole body shakes and then I gotta let my mouth fall open for
extra resinan thingy, sound, and the human loves it! I will choose her
lap over anybody else's acuz she's the nicest. I talk to her all the
time. I climb on her all the time. I even stop doing things when she
tells me to! So when the others went, I stayed here.

I was sad to see my stinky brothers and sisters go, but I just gotted
more attention when they left. Gabby is my bestest friend in the whole
wide universe! We get up to lotsa trouble, um, I mean good girl games,
together, and we play THoE all the time. We enjoy it more when we can
run over the top of the human and Dogman, but they don't like that so

I like climbing up the human's leg too, but she always calls me "Ow
Apache!" and "get off you hooligan!" when I do that. I tried to climb
up the tea towel hanging from the cupboard door today to get to the
yummy foods that my human was making for us. She was feeding my
favourite. We all eat raw foods now, and we were getting vennison this
morning. Yum yum! It's my favrit one! I yelled and yelled and yelled
at her, but she just told me I'd have to wait! So I tried to climb up
to the worktop to get at the foods, but my favrit human just dumped me
back on the floor! She's so horrible! I barged grannycat and Gabby and
mummycat outta the way though to be first to eat, and I wouldn't let
them have a bit of the beef jerky either that the human gives us to
clean our toothies. i eated everyone's bit!

Grannycat likes me. Everybody says this is really unusual as grannycat
doesn't like anybody and won't share a lap or the human with anybody,
ever! But grannycat cuddles on the human and I get to cuddle too, and
I even lied on top of her the other day. And mummycat told me to look
out acuz I'd get the smackypaw of doom, but grannycat didn't do
anything! I like my grannycat. She's all warm and cuddly and soft and
she washes my head and she loves me lots.

And that's all I can think of for now, but I'll be back to write more
soon I think!

Lotsa love


Monday, 21 January 2013

We're Baaaaack!

Hi friends!

We all would like to start the post by saying sorry that we've not
been around in ages. As you probably know, the human was experiencing
blog problems for ages. For some reason, Blogger wasn't even letting
her post by email, but she's got that worked out now, so hopefully
this post will go up! Then, after Christmas, we had some, well, let's
call it stuff, going on, and she lost her mojo a little bit. Hopefully
though, we're now back! We've missed you all loads and loads!

We know you'd probly like to hear what's been happening to us over the
last while, but we're gonna put that on hold till another day. Why?
Cuz we've got something much, much more exciting to miaow you all
about! Our Secret Paws package!

Sadly, it didn't arrive in time for Christmouse, but we know we're
good girls, so we just know'd that Santa Paws wouldn't forget us. So
we waited and waited and waited, and eventually, one of the silly
peoples that lives beside the human came to her door and said that she
had a package for her that the man in the shorts had left ages ago but
that she'd forgotted about! And it was our Secret Paws package!

Sadly, we don't know who it's from as the human's eyes don't work well
enough to read the letter in the bag, but we got a photo too! Again,
sadly, the package had been badly handled, so it came to us with a
couple of holes in. We don't know if we got everything that our lovely
Secret Paws put in there for us, so if we don't mention something in
the post, that's why, but we got enough that we're super, super happy!
There was loads of stuff in there!

First of all, the human gived us some little balls and mousies, and we
went mad for them! Gabby chased everything, Tia chased all the balls,
and we had a great time! But then, the best thing ever came outta the
box. Not 1, but 2 Pawbreakers! Friends, our human says we all went a
little loopyloo when they came out. We were running so hard that we
were even hitting the walls! The human says she still hasn't been able
to find one of the Pawbreakers, cuz we whapped it so hard that it
hadda go hide somewhere! We're not telling where!

But friends, it gets even better than that! Next out was something
that was real, real, real, real whiffy! The human couldn't even get it
all the way outta its bag before Millie was diving on her and trying
to wrassle it outta her hands. Friends, it was a super huge mousie,
just stuffed brimful of the whiffiest catnip ever in the whole wide
world! And it has a super long tail! Our human teased us. She held
onto the tail and maked the mousie twitch around all over the floor.
And Millie loved it! She dived on it and bunnykicked it and dribbled
on it and runned away with it and tried to keep it for her own!
Eventually, we all got a chance to play with it, but only after Millie
was blissed on the catnip whiffies!

But friends, the crowning glory was the lovely foods in there! We got
what we think is freeze dried raw which we all go bananas for, and we
got some yummy dry foods too that we've been having when we've been
extra good. Our human laughs at us cuz she says we think this
complete, good for you cat food is a treaty! But we know better. We
know it's a good for you cat food, not a treaty, but let me tell you
something, friends, it tastes so good that it's a good for you cat
food and a treaty all in one! And that's special! There's not many
good for you cat foods that are that good, we can tell you!

Our Secret Paw was also kind enough to include a little gift for the
human, a gorgeous tube of wafer thin, melt in your mouth cineamon
cookies which my human absolutely fell in love with! We tried to steal
some, but she wouldn't let us have any, not even Apache, who tried
ever so hard! She did give her the empty tube to play with though, so
it wasn't all bad.

So, to our Secret Paw sender, we'd like to say a huge, huge thank you
so much! We're sending loads of head bumpies and kissies your way, and
if you'd like to tell us who you are, then we'd be all the more glad
for it! Thank you so, so much for such an amazing present that we love
so much that our human actually has to hide the toys away from us to
stop us loving them so hard that we ruin them! And to stop Apache
stealing the catnip mousie that she thinks belongs only to her! We're
sorry that it took us so long to tell you it had got here, but we're
glad to be back!

So, friends, our Christmouse came late, but boy was it worth waiting
for! Soon, we'll tell you all about what we've been up to in the last
few months, and we'll also tell you who this Apache person is!... Come
back soon!

Tuesday, 14 August 2012

Gabby Finds Fish, and Kitten Pics

Hi to all you somebodypeoples! Member me? I'm Gabby! Sept that I donno if I really am Gabby acuz my somebodyhuman and the somebodypeople called Dogman all calls me lotsa and lotsa diffrent names! The humansomebody calls me Gibgabs and Gobby when I eeeeew at her or when I reeeeeeeeeew to telled her that she's leaved me outside the bedroom or the bathroom door. And Dogman calls me Little Gibgabs and Come On Then and they both call me Stinkypants when I go in the litter tray and do a poopoo. But I can't help making a stinkypants acuz I just can't!

And the humansomebody calls me scruffbag too acuz I like to dunk my beautiful neck furrs in my yummy stinky foods and get them all messy, and she can't never clean it all out acuz my lovely neck furrs are so thick.

And I've had lotsa and lotsa fun here sept with stinky Milliecat who didn't like me when her tummy growed real big and real, real fat. Hahaha, she's a fatty and I gotted to bounced on her fatty tummy lotsa and lotsa, acuz you can jump real high when you use a fatty tummy as a spring board! But then you gotta run real, real fast acuz she'll chase you and scream bad words at you and wanna rip your tail off! But Millie goed away somewhere ages ago and I didn't seed her since, so that's Ok. My humansomebody says that if you want to see what Millie's been up to, and pictures of her babycats, then you should go to The Moonspun Blogwhere there's lotsa and lotsa pictures of the stinky babycats. For now though, here's a teaser.

But anyway, nuff about her. I's writed this to telled you all about the mazing thing that happened me today! I love my stinky goodness. I eated and eated and eated and then I ask for some more till my humansomebody gives me another name, fat little pig! Fat little pigs must be cute, acuz I know I am! But today, she sayed to us, "right, girls. I think it's time for a treat for you to celebrate the new arrivals". I didn't know what this meaned but that's Ok. The humansomebody says a lot of words and I don't know what they meaned, so I just said eeeeew in a very nice voice and I sitted on her foot and I waited. And then she wented to the kitchen and I sayed eeeeew again acuz I'd felled off her foot when she moved! And then I heared her making that noise that she sayed is a tin opening but that I know is the noise that means I'll be getting new stinky goodness. And I sayed reeeeeeeeeew, in a very loud voice so's she'd member I was here and that I was only a babycat and that I was real, real hungry and that I really wanted some stinky goodness pleeeeeeeaseeeee! And then I smelled it.

Somebodypeoples, I don't know the words for the smell acuz it was sososososososo good! It maked me sitted down on my cute little bumbum with a plop, and then ask in a real, real, real loud voice that I wanted my stinky goodness nooooooowwwwwww! And then Tiacat camed into the kitchen too, and she smelled it and even she sayed miaowwwwwww for a long, long time! And you know what? That horrible humansomebody laughed at us! She did! And she maked us wait and wait forever and then forever again till I thinked that my belly was eating itself!

And then she gived it to us. Somebodypeoples, I never eated anything like this before. This was the bestest foods ever in the whole wide world, and even better than a drink from a mummycat! And I eated and eated and eated for a long time, and I didn't even mind when Tiacat camed and pushed her stupid big head into the dish and stealed some of my stinky goodness for herself. She never does that normally acuz she doesn't like my stinky goodness, but this stuff was too good not to eated! My humansomebody sayed that they were called Pilchards, a kind of small fish, but I don't know what a fish is anyway, and I don't care acuz I was too busy eating as much as I could!

And I eated so fast that when I was done, my belly was as fat as I was! And then another funny thing happened me. I feeled this strange feeling and then some air camed outta my mouth. And the humansomebody laughed till she nearly couldn't breathe and she telled Dogman that I'd just did my first burp and that I didn't know what to do (human note: she really didn't. She was so confused and just kept looking round her at her own belly as though daring it to try it again). And then I got this nother strange feeling and then my belly did a funny jerk! And then another one! And then another! And my humansomebody laughed at me again! (human note 2: when the hiccups started, I really was struggling to hold it together. She kept sniffing her own belly as though trying to work out what sort of a frog she'd swallowed! If you've never heard a kitten with the hiccups, you've missed out on one of the sweetest little noises).

And then I leaved the humansomebody and I goed onto the sofa and I had a long sleepy. Achaally, I's got a photo of me sleeping like that from a long long time ago that my humansomebody sayed is only a couple of weeks. Whatcha think?

Ok, I can't think of nothin else, so byebye! And go see Milliecat's stinky babycats at The Moonspun Blog!

Monday, 13 August 2012

Millie Becomes a Mummycat!

Hihihihi friends! Sorry I haven't writed in ages, but I's been too busy with getting fat and stuffs, and anyway, my human's been working so hard for us when she comes home that she doesn't really have much time to sit down and writed for us. But this is such an important thing that happened to me that I gotta tell!

Well, you know that I went to stay with a mancat, right? A couple of weeks after that, I noticed that my girlcat yummy tummy was disappearing andI was getting as fatt as boring old mummycat! I didn't like it and I tried to stop eating so much yummy foods, but I couldn't help it. I was soooooooo hungry all the time! And my human kept giving me stinky kissies and telling me this was great and wasn't I clever and all and it was just yucky cuz she always tries to kiss my yummy tummy, and I didn't wanted any somebodies to see it when it was so yucky and fat!

And then, a couple weeks later, I was asleep minding my own business when something kicked me in the tummy!... From the inside! I jumped up with a biiiiiig miaaaaaaaoooooow! And then I runned to the human acuz I was a bit ascared. But she said it was Ok and it was just the babycats. Babycats? What babycats! I didn't have no babycats in my yummy tummy! I didn't! I didn't putted them there so they couldn't be there, and I didn't eated any for lunch neither!

Soon I feeled lotsa and lotsa little kicks and I didn't like it. So I cried at the human until she rubbed my big fat tummy acuz then the kicky things that aren't babycats would stop kicking me and go to sleep.

But then yesterday, I gotted to feeling all funny. And I don't know why, but I felt the urge to go look for quiet, dark, small places and then dig. And I did that and my human taked me away and she, well friends, she taked my temperature! How horrible is that! She actually stuck that thing where it had no business being! But I'm a good girlcat so I letted her. And then she said, "Uh-oh, Millie, looks like today's the day. Hope you slept well last night!" I didn't know what she was talking about, so I just carried on digging.

And then she pulled me out from behind the sofa and cuddled me on her knee, and then, friends, the strangest thing happened. My big fat tummy took on a life of its own, and it squeezed! It was a big one and
I didn't know what to do, so I hided my face in the human's arm. And then another one came! And then another one! And this went on for ages, and the human called Dogman back from his nephew's christening,
but when he camed in, I decided that whatever was going on, I'd stop it cuz for some reason, although I love him, I didn't want him there. So I maked my tummy stop squeezing until the human sayed a lot of
sorries to Dogman and asked him to hide out in the bedroom.

But soon, my tummy was squeezing so hard that I knew I needed to push. And I pushed and pushed and pushed so, so hard and it was so tiring. And I keeped pushing for what felt like forever, and it was really
hurting me and I didn't like it, so I taked the human's arm in my paws and I pulled it in real close to my face and I held on and hided my face against her. and I pushed some more.

After a while, she sayed "Well, Mill, that's that then. There's nothing coming." And she phoned the vet lady people who was having a weekend off but who camed specially to the house just to see me. And
the human held onto my head real tight and the vet ladypeople put her finger, well, I can't even say where! She said she was checking to see if I was dilated, but holy Cod it hurted a lot! I screamed and screamed and screamed and tried to bite the human and the vet ladypeople and then I screamed some more. And the human's eyes were leaking right off the end of her nose, and even the vet ladypeople was sad and gived me a cuddle. And then she telled the human that I wasn't dilated and that I would need a section. I didn't know what that was, so I just carried on doing my best to push.

And then the vet ladypeople putted me in a PTU with a nice soft bed in the bottom, and she taked me away from my human! I wasn't like my mummycat. I didn't cry as I left, mostly acuz I was still too busy pushing to take any notice. And then we went to the horrible vet place and we waited a while till the other vet lady people arrived. And the nasty vet lady people who hurted me is really quite nice and she cuddled me and telled me what a good girl I was for pushing while we waited. And then... And then it all went dark.

Next thing I know, I'm awake, but it's so, soooo cold! I'm shivering and shivering despite being on a nice, warm, heated blanket. But it's just so cold! A lot of my tummy furrs had been stolen too! And I had a big pain in my tummy too.

And then something sayed "eeeeea!" And I jumped up and looked everywhere. And there was things in the cage with me! Teeny, tiny things that sayed "eeeeea!" and squiggled around all over each other. And I feeled real sorry for them, cuz if I was cold and I was a big girlcat, they musta been freezing! And so I pulled them all in close to me and I gave them a bath to clean off the horrible vet stink and warm them up a bit. And then, friends, then one of them got hold of my nimple and started to drink milk! And suddenly I understood. I knew now all about what mummycat had told me about babycats was true. I knew that these were my babycats and that they needed me. I still didn't know how they gotted here, but that didn't matter. They were
here and that was all there was to it.

So I pulled them all up against my tummy and didn't even say weeeeow when they climbed all over my hurty bits while they tried to find a nimple.

And then the vet ladypeople came and taked one of them away from me acuz he was limp and not moving and very, very cold. And I cried for him, but she just cuddled my head and tole me not to worry. She taked
him away and worked on him and feeded him some milk and he drinked it. But when she put him back with me, he still wasn't moving, wasn't searching for a nimple like the others were. He just lay there.

And thenshe put usall back in the horrible PTU and she taked us home to my human. And she sayed to her that the little boy probly wouldn't make it through the night. But my human doesn't give up. After all, she saved my brother Paws last year!

I settled down with my babycats after giving the human lotsa and lotsa head bumpies and loves, and I didn't even cry when she taked my small boy away. And he was real cold again, not lifting his head and she says he was hardly even breathing. So she held him in her hands for a long time and just breathed on him to warm him slowly. Then she taked him to the radiator and held him above the warm air and then she rubbed him hard all over and keeped rubbing and rubbing and rubbing. And every time he tried to lift his head, she whisked him in against my tummy and to a nimple, but he was still too weak to hold on. But she keeped working with him, forcing him to wiggle and squiggle and put his head up probly just to get away from the rubbing! But she knows that that's what mummycats do with a very weak babycat. I didn't though, cuz I've never been a mummycat before. And after a long, long while, he gotted must stronger, so she putted him in with me onto another heat pad and put him right against my tummy and he started squeaking and searching for a nimple! And then everybody went quiet.

She gotted up loads to check us during the night, specially light red boy who was the weak one, but he was still here this morning and is still moving around! She's just about to weigh them all again, but so that you know, here's their birth weights.

  • Apache (dogman's name acuz she has a patch over one eye (she's a tortie) and the human sayed when she picked her up "is that a patchy one?" and it stuck: 86 grams. She's the smallest!
  • Stripe, another tortie with a stripe down her nose: 92 grams.
  • Light red boy: 92 grams, so he's not the smallest!
  • Grey boy (he'll either turn out to be a light cream boy or a bluecream girl, so watch this space), 97 grams.
  • Dark red boy, the fatty, 107 grams!

They're all such good weights, and 5 is a lot for a first time mummycat too!

My tummy still hurts, friends, but I've been such a good mummycat all night, sept for when I sit on them by accident and my human hasta rescue them when they squeal. And I love them so, so much!

Friday, 13 July 2012

Introducing Gabby!

Hi all you strange things! Guess what? I think I gotted a name for you now! My friend Millie and my friend Tia telled me that you were somebodypeoples. I don't know what a somebodypeoples is, but that's what you're all called now. I hope that's Ok!

I's been at the strange house now forever and for a real long time. But things are good now acuz I don't gotta stay in the pen any more and I gotted to come out and play with the big cats and chew on wires and run all over the sofa and bite the strange lady that they call the human and eat lotsa and lotsa foods and weewee in the strange lady's bed and hide behind the TV so's she can't get me out. And it's sooooooooo much fun!

When I first camed out nobody liked me. And big scary Milliecat sayed sssss all the time but she played chaseys with me all over the place! And the big scary Tiacat sayed rrrrrow and -pffff acuz she can't say
sssss proply and she sayed reeeeow too in a real loud voice when I jumped on her and tried to bite her on the nose. But I was only playing! And the strange lady human didn't even telled them off even though they was being real, real nasty to me acuz she sayed that I gotta learn some manners and that it's rude to try and bite othercats noses and chew their whiskers and smack them lotsa and lotsa in the face even if I am only playing!

And for a long time, the othercats eated all my yummy food so's I hadda keep going and asking the strange lady human for more and more. And she sayed that I was eating like a little piggy but I don't know what a little piggy is so I don't know how they eated things. And she sayed that I was getting a nice fat tummy and I sayed hush strange lady human and gimme more foods!

And she sayed that I'm a scruff all acuz when I eat I mash all of my face into the bowl so's I can eat real, real fast and so's nobdy else can have any. And so what if foods goes up my nose or in my eyes acuz she cleans it all out again! And then I get down real, real low so's my ruff and my chin and evrything's all in the foods bowl and then she sayed that it makes me scraggy at the front and I need lotsa and lotsa cleaning all the time!

And I'm not snotty no more. But I don't say prrrr no more neither. I like to sleep on the strange lady human's knee, but when she rubs me, I just carry on sleepin or get up and walk away. She sayed that she hopes I growed outta that and that Milliecat did the same thing when she was my age and that I'd learn to say prrrr again hopefully. I say that if she keeps doing horrid things to me like brushing my fat tummy or pulling me out from behind the TV when I'm having a great time chewing all the wires and pulling everything down that I'm never gonna prrrr for her ever again!

And I sometimes sleep with the strange lady human at night and I sometimes don't. And now all the othercats like me. And me and Milliecat play chaseys all the time now and we runrunrunrun real fast evrywhere and we have a coooool time! And me and Tiacat snuggle close by each other now and she only smacks me if I try to smack her in the face or bite her nose or something, else she likes me well enough and even sometimes cleans me but never when the strange lady human can see. And Milliecat and Tiacat like each other better now acuz Tiacat gets peace acuz me and Milliecat do all the playing and then we can all come back to Tiacat when we're tired and ready for snuggling. But Milliecat's getting awful, awful fat. Whenever she sits down now her tummy looks real, real big and she doesn't like it if I jump on it no more and she'll smack me if I do it and that's not nice! And Tiacat's walking around again shouting and she keeps sticking her bumbum up in
the air and she's weird! But she's good fun acuz then I get to attack her tail but she doesn't like it much but I don't care!

But the most bestest bit yet is that I gotted my very own name! The strange lady human and the somebodypeoples that the others call Dogman thinked real, real hard for a long time and then the strange lady human decided that I should get Gabby as my very own name acuz I'm Gobby Gabby. I dunno why she sayed that acuz now I only say tiny, teeny meows, but she says it's on accounta the racket I maked when I
first gotted here, so she knows I can be gobby when I wanna be.

So, I'm Gabby. Does any of you somebodypeoples like that?

Saturday, 16 June 2012

What's in a Name?

Hi to all you things. Sorry, but I don't know no name for you yet acuz I didn't meet you yet and I's real small so i don't know nothin much. But the big other cat that looks like a mummycat sayed to me that i had to miaow stuffs at the strange lady thing and tell all bout my day yesterday and when I met the strange lady.

It all started a long, long time before when the nice lady that I know real well picked me up and my brother Oso, and she put us in a box and then she made the box move. And lotsa noises gotted made and we were in there for a long, long time. And I was a real good girl, least i think I was cuz I did a weewee in the litter tray and then my brother copied me. But then we both decided we was gonna snuggle together in the litter tray acuz it was nicer than the floor of the box and my lady didn't like that very much acuz she sayed we needed to stay lovely and clean for the new people. I don't know what a the new people is, so I stayed where I was.

Then the box stopped moving and the noises stopped getting made and then my lady took my brother Oso out. I waited for a long, long time for him to come back, but I gotted tired, acuz it's hard to stay awake when there's nothing to do essept listen to my lady and some other ladies and mans making their miaow noises. And when I woked up again, it was acuz my lady was taking me out of the box, and then she gived me to the strange lady that I'm with now, and the strange lady gived me lotsa and lotsa cuddles. And I gived her lotsa kissies even though I had bited a little on another strange lady who was the strange lady's friend. And that maded her happy acuz I showed that I loved her already. But she put her big fingers in my mouth and felt my teefies and I didn't like that much so I keeped moving my head away and it made it very hard for her to check. But when she was done, she miaowed to my lady for a long time, and like I sayed, it's hard to stay awake when you're just a tiny babycat, so I snuggled down and I went to sleep. And that made my lady happy and sad, and the strange lady happy.

And then when I woked up again, it was acuz the strange lady was putting me into another box. And this one was big and lonely cuz I was especting my brother Oso to be there but he wasn't. But my favrit blanket from home was there and it smelled good, so I went back to sleep again.

And then the box was moving again and there  was more noises being made and I gotted frighted acuz I'm only a tiny babycat and I'm in a strange box and my brother Oso hasn't camed back yet and I'm lonely and I miss him and I want him back and I want my lady and I want my own box and I want my mummycat. And then when I started to cry, the strange lady tooked me out and she miaowed lotsa things to me and she snuggled me up in a big warm thing called a sweater and she rubbed me all over and it was nice so I went asleep again acuz I was tired.

And I sleeped for a real long time acuz the box was moving and the noises were making for a very long time. But I was such a good girl and sat nice with the strange lady. And I only tried to bite her fingers just a little bit! And she sayed that I wasn't sposed to do that even when I was playing, but she sayed that it was Ok for today acuz we were just getting to know each other.

And then the box stopped moving, but there was lotsa new noises making and  I was ascared again and I really really needed a weewee and there was no litter tray. And I started to cry, and then the strange lady tooked me out of the box again and put me in a much bigger one that she keeps calling a Pen. And there was a litter tray in there. And I'm such a good girl acuz I smelled for the litter that the strange lady had bringed from my home, and then I went into the box and I did lotsa and lotsa weewees. And then when I camed out again, the strange lady gaved me some of the nicest food ever! She sayed that I could eat as much as I liked acuz I was so small and she wanted me big and with a nice fat tummy. And so I eated lotsa and lotsa this chicken food, and I even put my feets in the bowl so that I could hold it nice and still and I could eat every last bit. And then I used my water like a big stomping puddle and I had sooooo much fun splashing it everywhere! And then I rolled in my nice dry blanket. And the strange lady said to a strange man that was in the new place too that she'd forgetted how little kittens are all hooligans at heart! And then she dried me up and she sayed that I could wreck the pen as much as I wanted as long as I was having a good time.

But I cried and cried and cried whenever she put me back in acuz I gotted lonely again and I'm only a teeny babycat. And she keeped taking me out for cuddles, and all I wanted to do was to stay on her knee and sleep. But then I wanted to esplore and she sayed no not yet acuz she wanted to give everybody else time to meet me. And then I noticed that there was some more real big cats in the house, as big as my mummycat! And one of them really liked me, and the other one climbed on top of the pen and sayed grrrrrr and sssssss until the strange lady camed and tooked her off and sayed "Millie! Be nice!" But this Millie cat just went round the back of the pen an dshe poked her face under the blanket covering it and she sayed sssss in a really loud voice and I got ascared so I went to the other end of the pen and I cried. And then the strange lady tooked both of the other cats outta the room and she ttolded them that if they couldn't be nice, then nobody gotted to stay in there while she went to bed. And she sayed sorry to Tia, acuz she couldn't let her in there and not Millie acuz Millie would just follow her in, so both had to stay out. But then I was lefted on my own for a long, long time. And I cried and cried and cried even though the strange lady had give dme her shirt to cuddle in so that I didn't feel lonely. And sometimes the lady came and cuddled me, and sometimes she didn't acuz she sayed she was asleep. But one of those times that she did come, I sat on her knee and when she was cuddling me, I sayed prrrrrrr, and she really liked it acuz I started to do pushy paws too like I do to my mummycat to get the milk. And she sayed it was really nice. And I gived her some more kissies and then she gived me some more yummy gooshy food that I eated all of. And my tummy was full so I sleeped for a little while then. And then the next time I cried, the strange lady went into the strange man's room and telled the strange man that it was his turn to cuddle me. And the strange man sayed, "I stay here at weekends for a rest, lady, not so that you can put me to work!" But she knows he's soft with all of the furries, and he went anyway. And he's a real good cuddler acuz he letted me out for a run around in the room on my own and he played with me and showed me all the bestest toys. And my human telled him he couldn't do that yet acuz I'm a wee bit snotty and she doesn't want anyone else to catch it so I went back in and I cried and cried until they gived me my favourite toy from outside. And it's a ball in a track and there's another ball in the top and there's a springy mousie right on the top, and it's the bestest toy ever!

But then I gotted tired again and I asked to come out and sit on the strange lady's knee. And I was a good girl and went right to sleep. And then I gotted real sleepy and the strange lady tooked out a brush acuz I got so much floof that I knot up real quick and she wanted to keep me looking my bestest. And she brushed me and combed me all over and I sayed prrrrrrrr lotsa and lotsa acuz I really liked it. And I liked it so much that I went asleep. But I woked up when the strange lady started kissing my belly. She's strange! And now I'm telling you all this.

I don't have a name yet acuz the strange lady sayed that she wants to get to know me first before she gives me one. But she calls me little munster and she calls me hooligan when I go stomping in my water or when I stick my whole face in my food or when I roll around in the cool litter tray. That's Ok, isn't it?

But now I'm tired again and I think I'll sleep some more. I'm not so snotty today, and I'm workin real hard on not sneezing no more, so maybe I'll get to come out later on and play with the new toys and maybe even the other cats. The big one, Tia I think her name is, talks to me just like my mummycat did. And it maked the human happy and a bit sad to see her doing the mummycat talk again, happy acuz it means that Tia will love me for a little while instead of beating me up, and will give me comfort while I'm missing my mummycat, sad acuz she doesn't like Millie like that any more. I can't blame her about that. Millie scares me! I wouldn't talk to her like a mummycat talks to a kitten either!

Anyway, I gotta go to sleep now. Can any of you things that I don't know a name for yet think of a name for me? And maybe I can think of a name for you at the same time too!

Wednesday, 13 June 2012

From Girlcat to Ladycat

Hihihihihihi all my somebody friends! It's me! And guess what? I'm not
sick any more! But I don't think I'm a girlcat any more neither. Let
me tell you all about it.

So, on the day after I last writed, my human went to work like normal
and left me for a million years! Whenever she came back, she went and
got the stinky PTU from where she hides it, and then she put a nice
soft blanket in the bottom and then she put a nice soft me in on top!
And I said weeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooooooow! Just like that! And she
taked me outside to the big growly monster called car. And we got
inside Car with another ladypeople who I get to give a name to! See? I
must be a ladycat now cuz before it was only mummycat who gave names
to somebodies, and she's a ladycat and now it's my turn and so maybe
I'm a ladycat!
But anyway, I think I'm gonna call this lady somebody Showgirl cuz I always see her when we're going to a show. She's real nice. She calls me "Hello Milliecat!" and I like it. So she drived us way, way far away, at least a whole 10 minutes! And then we got to another house, and when we went inside I gotted real ascared cuz I could smell lotsa other cats and they weren't my mummycat. So I hided right at the back of the stinky PTU and I hided my face under my blanket. But then another lady somebody came and she talked to me and she said "Are you hidin, scaredycat?" And even though I knowed she said it with a smileyface cuz her voice was smiley, I ain't no scaredycat! So I popped out my face and I said "Weeeeowwww!" just like that! And she made the laugh noise. And then they sat and talked so's I could feel more comfy with the new smells. But then the lady somebody taked me away from my human and Showgirl and she put me in a new place. And half of it was outside where my human said I was never allowed to go on my own, but it was Ok, cuz it had walls and stuff and so it wasn't really outside even though it was!

And there was a stinky mancat in there! My human says he was beautiful, but he really was stinky! And I said hello to him and he said hello to me and he kept sniffing me a lot and following me wherever I went.

I didn't notice when my human went home, and even though I missed her, I didn't cry cuz only babycats cry and I'm not a babycat! I made real good friends with the stinky mancat, and we played together and ate
together and we even cuddled! But that wasn't good enough for the people somebody, cuz she said, "Ah, not again. You always want them to love you before you do the deed, and we haven't got time for you to
mess around again! This poor girl needs to be mated!" I didn't know what she was talking about, but she taked me away from my new stinky friend and said something about letting me meet a mancat that was more
experienced and would get the job done.

I did meet another mancat. This one was old, but he wasn't boring like my old, fat mummycat! He was real, real interested in me. He followed me that close that I hadda say sssssss to him, and I even said grrrrrrr! I know that's not good manners, but my mummycat swears at the mancats too when they get too pushy, so I was only copying her!

Now that I'm sorta a ladycat, I can say that I won't talk about what happened over the next 2 days, cuz a ladycat doesn't talk about things like that. But, all you somebodies, we did what we needed to do. I gotta say, the cure for my sick was kinda nice! And mummycat was right when she said I'd enjoy myself!

On Monday, Showgirl camed back with the horrible PTU and she taked me home. I gived my new mancat friend a little kissie byebye, and then went back in Car and home to see mummycat. Sept that mummycat was even grumpier than usual! She said sssss and rrrrrrrrr lots to me and she even tried to give me smackypaw! She said I stinked like a stinky mancat! But my mancat friend wasn't stinky! This went on all night even when my human gotted back from her day hunting place. She kept telling mummycat to be nice, but mummycat never listens. So yesterday, my human said "Right, girls, that's enough of this. You've asked for it!" And then she taked mummycat into the bathroom and cleaned her with lotsa water. And then she did it to me too so's we'd both smell the same. And ever since then mummycat has just been her normal grumpy. But I don't care, cuz I got the best spot to sleep up by the human's head last night, so nya to you, mummycat!

And that's all about my adventure. My human says that I shouldn't get sick now for a very long time, or at least, I'd better not get sick. Then she laughed. Crazy human!