Gabby Finds Fish, and Kitten Pics

Hi to all you somebodypeoples! Member me? I'm Gabby! Sept that I donno if I really am Gabby acuz my somebodyhuman and the somebodypeople called Dogman all calls me lotsa and lotsa diffrent names! The humansomebody calls me Gibgabs and Gobby when I eeeeew at her or when I reeeeeeeeeew to telled her that she's leaved me outside the bedroom or the bathroom door. And Dogman calls me Little Gibgabs and Come On Then and they both call me Stinkypants when I go in the litter tray and do a poopoo. But I can't help making a stinkypants acuz I just can't!

And the humansomebody calls me scruffbag too acuz I like to dunk my beautiful neck furrs in my yummy stinky foods and get them all messy, and she can't never clean it all out acuz my lovely neck furrs are so thick.

And I've had lotsa and lotsa fun here sept with stinky Milliecat who didn't like me when her tummy growed real big and real, real fat. Hahaha, she's a fatty and I gotted to bounced on her fatty tummy lotsa and lotsa, acuz you can jump real high when you use a fatty tummy as a spring board! But then you gotta run real, real fast acuz she'll chase you and scream bad words at you and wanna rip your tail off! But Millie goed away somewhere ages ago and I didn't seed her since, so that's Ok. My humansomebody says that if you want to see what Millie's been up to, and pictures of her babycats, then you should go to The Moonspun Blogwhere there's lotsa and lotsa pictures of the stinky babycats. For now though, here's a teaser.


But anyway, nuff about her. I's writed this to telled you all about the mazing thing that happened me today! I love my stinky goodness. I eated and eated and eated and then I ask for some more till my humansomebody gives me another name, fat little pig! Fat little pigs must be cute, acuz I know I am! But today, she sayed to us, "right, girls. I think it's time for a treat for you to celebrate the new arrivals". I didn't know what this meaned but that's Ok. The humansomebody says a lot of words and I don't know what they meaned, so I just said eeeeew in a very nice voice and I sitted on her foot and I waited. And then she wented to the kitchen and I sayed eeeeew again acuz I'd felled off her foot when she moved! And then I heared her making that noise that she sayed is a tin opening but that I know is the noise that means I'll be getting new stinky goodness. And I sayed reeeeeeeeeew, in a very loud voice so's she'd member I was here and that I was only a babycat and that I was real, real hungry and that I really wanted some stinky goodness pleeeeeeeaseeeee! And then I smelled it.

Somebodypeoples, I don't know the words for the smell acuz it was sososososososo good! It maked me sitted down on my cute little bumbum with a plop, and then ask in a real, real, real loud voice that I wanted my stinky goodness nooooooowwwwwww! And then Tiacat camed into the kitchen too, and she smelled it and even she sayed miaowwwwwww for a long, long time! And you know what? That horrible humansomebody laughed at us! She did! And she maked us wait and wait forever and then forever again till I thinked that my belly was eating itself!

And then she gived it to us. Somebodypeoples, I never eated anything like this before. This was the bestest foods ever in the whole wide world, and even better than a drink from a mummycat! And I eated and eated and eated for a long time, and I didn't even mind when Tiacat camed and pushed her stupid big head into the dish and stealed some of my stinky goodness for herself. She never does that normally acuz she doesn't like my stinky goodness, but this stuff was too good not to eated! My humansomebody sayed that they were called Pilchards, a kind of small fish, but I don't know what a fish is anyway, and I don't care acuz I was too busy eating as much as I could!

And I eated so fast that when I was done, my belly was as fat as I was! And then another funny thing happened me. I feeled this strange feeling and then some air camed outta my mouth. And the humansomebody laughed till she nearly couldn't breathe and she telled Dogman that I'd just did my first burp and that I didn't know what to do (human note: she really didn't. She was so confused and just kept looking round her at her own belly as though daring it to try it again). And then I got this nother strange feeling and then my belly did a funny jerk! And then another one! And then another! And my humansomebody laughed at me again! (human note 2: when the hiccups started, I really was struggling to hold it together. She kept sniffing her own belly as though trying to work out what sort of a frog she'd swallowed! If you've never heard a kitten with the hiccups, you've missed out on one of the sweetest little noises).

And then I leaved the humansomebody and I goed onto the sofa and I had a long sleepy. Achaally, I's got a photo of me sleeping like that from a long long time ago that my humansomebody sayed is only a couple of weeks. Whatcha think?


Ok, I can't think of nothin else, so byebye! And go see Milliecat's stinky babycats at The Moonspun Blog!

Introducing... Champion Catarosa Dolly Mixture

Friends, I must write and tell you all about what's been going on here since we last wrote. The human slacks terribly when it comes to writing, and to be honest, I've pretty much given up on the idea of ever having a regular update on this blog any more. She says that as she's day hunting for such a long time every day, it doesn't really give her much time to write. She's lost touch with all of the peoples she met through blogging too. She says this is cuz Computer keeps deleting email addresses, and it will only sometimes let her leave comments. If anybody wants to get in touch though, she'll answer an email. She might even be able to bully Computer into giving her some lost addresses this week, as she says she's "regressing the software to an earlier version which should help". I don't have a clue what she's talking about, friends, but regression sounds painful. I hope it is. I hate computer! Well, except when he's playing nicely and letting the human tippy-tap what I tell her to so's you can all read it.

Life continues as ever here, except that the human is trying to introduce new kinds of stinky goodness into the diet. Millie's tummy turns ever so un-yummy whenever the human does this, and it makes her trips to the litter tray a bit of an event in our house. The human is to be seen lurking right outside the entrance to scoop her and clean her whenever she's done. My kitten hasn't managed the art of remaining clean even with a runny bum yet. Mind you, one of the flavours upset my yummy tummy too, and that takes some doing! Needless to say, that food has been removed for now. The horrible human hasn't given up on it altogether though. She has ideas of sneaking bits in with our normal stinky goodness in the hopes that our tummies won't rebell if we get it in small portions. She won't fool us though!

Luckily, the kitten got herself better in time for Saturday, as we had a big show to go to! Millie was in a very fancy pen which the human said was called an exhibition pen. I got to go in there for a while too, but was swiftly removed whenever I politely pushed Millie out of the way to eat her foods, then ever so politely tapped her with my paw until she jumped out of her bed so that I could steal, I mean lie in it. The human would have it said that I barged her out of the way to get to the food bowl and that I used smackypaw of doom with claws out to get her out of her bed, but really, you can't be expected to believe such poor lies. I mean, me? Be rude? You know this isn't possible!

I was soon taken to my own pen which was drab in comparison to the kitten's. Mine didn't have nice, fancy curtains or a padded mat. It was the same colour as everyone else's, and it didn't have a nice, frilly bed to lie in! It was barren! I was left to sit in the middle of a stinking cage, to rest my poor bones on nothing more than a warm, padded, fluffy fleece blanket, to drink nothing but water from a bowl and to have nothing to eat except a pile of dry foods. The privation was terrible! I almost didn't survive!

There was one good thing though. My prison was one of a row of prison cells with peoples jeering and taunting us with horrid phrases like, "hello, puddin. Want a cuddle?" and, "I'm gonna come back and take you out in a minute for some lovins and brushing. You enjoy that, don't you!" and, "Oh, what a pretty ladycat you are!" My prisonmates were similarly stoic when it came to the peoples taunting. We all sat in silence. Ok, so I rolled around and showed my yummy tummy, and I even slept upside down for a while, and I might have even said miaow a couple of times, but while I was making my feelings of outrage clear, I couldn't help but notice that either side of me were boys, very handsome boys who weren't like the usual braggarts. They didn't say anything rude or sallacious to me. They didn't make innuendos, and they didn't ask me if I was free this evening. One settled down to sleep, and the other one was making love eyes and head rubbies on the bars where my human was standing. They were so nice that I didn't even feel the need to hiss! In fact, I found eau de mancat very, very interesting. My human, trator that she is, went and cuddled the boy next door for a while in the afternoon, but he was so nice that I didn't even mind his stink on her. She says that he owned a friend of hers, and she'd been asked to feed him and love on him while his slave was helping the peoples in white coats that take us out and say how pretty we are. I only wish I'd been instructed to love on him a bit too!...

Anyway, my human disappeared after that as she usually does, and took all the other peoples with her. When everywhere was quiet, the peoples in white coats came to have a cuddle of us all. They cuddle strangely. They love on us by feeling our heads, checking our teeths, looking in our eyes, touching all over us, but then they finish with a normal cuddle session.

I had quite a few peoples to come and look at me. The first one said that I was absolutely scrummy. I won't go into detail about what she said, as a modest ladycat would never boast, but she said some words that I know would make the human very pleased. Some other peoples came and cuddled me, but I didn't like them as they gave me no prizes. the last people in the white coat was an old ladypeople who really knows how to cuddle good! She liked me too.

In the meantime, the human had come back and gone to see the kitten who was having a whale of a time! She had absolutely wrecked the pen. Just as she was leaving, she said that she saw the kitten stand on the edge of her bed which is raised up, then take a big jump into the middle of the pile of cushions, grab one and start rolling around with it. When she came back though, she discovered that Millie had gone swimming in her water, kicked the bowl over, flipped her bed, spread the cushions around, and then had dug her way under the mat with her straw so that she could kill it in peace. She wasn't frightened, as she came straight out whenever the human came back. She got taken out for lots and lots of cuddles which she absolutely loved! She met lots of nice peoples who said what a lovely, purry girlcat she was. Well, of course she's lovely. She's my babycat! Some of the peoples even came to see me and give me lotsa cuddles, and I didn't even grump at them! I only grumbled when they wanted to put me back in my pen, but I'll admit secretly to you, dear friends, that I only grumbled cuz I was enjoying the cuddles so much and cuz being out gave me the opportunity to stare in at the handsome mancats!

My human got really, really pleased when she first came back to see me. "Tia," she said as she slobbered kisses all over me (Ok, I purred, but I'll never admit it to anyone else), "You've got a CC! Do you know what that means, Puddin?" "Miaow," I said, and she agreed, "Yes, that's right. That means that you're now a GCCF champion! Isn't that fab?"

Well, of course it's fab! I started showing back in the summer of 2010, and although I did nothing regular up until a few months ago, it's taken me 2 years from start to finish to get that title. I went through nine shows to gather all the certificates I needed, and me and the human are just so thrilled that we're finally here!

I told her in no uncertain terms that she should buy me something real, real nice to celebrate, and do you know what she said? She picked me up, gave me a squidge and said, "too slow, girlie. I already have bought you and that monkey of a kitten the most wonderful thing! Just wait till you see!"

The full extent of what she had done didn't become apparent until we arrived home later that evening. After a lot of clattering, a bit of swearing (on Dogman's part only, as a good ladypeople would never swear...) and some grunting as they moved things around, my palace was ready! She had bought me the most wonderful new scratching post! We'll put photos up when we have them, but basically it's a gorgeous pinky granite base, lovely big, thick poles, a soft platform bed that sinks in the middle so that you're real, real cosy in it, a hanging hammock underneath, and a gorgeous full wicker basket on the very top post. She complained that it cost her a small fortune, but I told her that I didn't mind that, and that I was worth it anyway.

After the show, myself and the human had a long talk. We've decided that for now, I'll be retired from showing to have some yummy babies. She's found a gorgeous mancat for me to go and spend time with, and anyway, now that spring is here, I'm feeling the urge to make more. Meanwhile, my babycat will take up the mantle of showcat extraordinaire. I give it to her gladly!

I had some photos taken of me on the day, but I don't know how they'll turn out. They put me in the photo booth right after a big, stinky mancat had been in there. He was rude. He left his calling card so that I'd know he'd been there and was willing to help me in the making babies game, but I wasn't interested! I had to hiss and spit at the flashy box a few times just to get my message across. The human says she'll post photos when we get them anyway.

For now, I'll just be happy with my new title of Champion Catarosa Dolly Mixture. Doesn't that sound grand! All the grander when you've worked out that, being such a highly titled cat, you're entitled to extra perks such as more stinky goodness, more frequent tuna sessions, and extra sleepy time in the bestest scratchy post ever!

Abandonment, Salvation... and a toy!

Hi there, friends. I'll steal this opportunity to write to you all while the house is nice and peaceful. How can it be with a kitten in it, I hear you ask. Well, she's asleep after tiring herself out by running after our new toy, but more on that in a minute.

It feels like ages since we last talked, but I tend to let the kitten do her thing on here as she has so much to say and share with you all. She's so enthusiastic about the new things she's learning and all the places she's exploring that I think it's nice for her to be able to share. I tend to grab the quieter moments when I can write to you all because that suits me a whole lot better.

The human abandoned us last week, cruelly left us to fend for ourselves in the terrible elements. It got down to -18 degrees C over here, and she just didn't care! There's no point sending the RSPCA to our rescue, friends, cuz she'll just mutter something about "but they were indoors and the heating was on", and of course, because the RSPCA have only the brains of peoples which aren't great at the best of times, they'll believe her that we were at least warm. But friends, -18! That was horrendous! And trying to find your own foods in that weather is awful. Even the mousies hide! Again, don't send the RSPCA. She'd tell them that Dogman was here and fed us all the time, but there wasn't the variety, friends. my human rotates our foods for different flavours, and sometimes she mashes it and sometimes she leaves it in chunks. Sometimes she adds water, sometimes a crumbled treat on the top. Dogman? He just opened a packet, tipped it into a bowl and set it down. Why did I ever like him?

The human had the decency to come back just as we were both at death's door. The kitten was so distressed that she ran up to greet her straight away, meowing and purring and climbing on her in an obvious attempt to communicate to the dim thing, "Thank cod you're home. It was awful here without you, and look at how skinny I am! Ignore the tummy, please. It's bloated because I, um, didn't eat anything just a few minutes ago." I, on the other hand, was just too weak to move. I stayed in my near dead state cuddled into the only thick, fluffy blanket I could find, eyes closed, on my back, paws over my head (everybody knows you go belly up when you're about to die), and death rattling. My human says this was a snore, but everybody knows ladycats don't snore, and anyway, why would I be snoring when I was nearly dead? I roused myself as soon as I heard the rattle of the foods bowl, but that was instinct, pure self preservation. The rubbing round her feet and the miaowing wasn't my doing. it was my basic brain kicking in to tell me this was the best way of getting foods. The purring was just the icing on the cake, as was the human cuddling that followed shortly afterward.

I had recovered sufficiently by Saturday to consider attending a cat show, just to shmooze with my adoring public. I'm glad I did! As usual, I pretended to be a grump first thing in the morning (well, can't make it too easy, can I?) but this soon settled when I realised that I wasn't penned next to any stinky boys. Well, I did have one next to me, but he was a sweety really, and wasn't interested in doing anything that a ladycat doesn't talk about with me. Anyway, he was a brown tabby and white, and I know I can't do the unmentionable with a bicolour anyway, as my babies wouldn't be registerable. So I didn't get in a strop with him like I did with the very handsome colourpoint mancat at the last show. By the time the afternoon came, I was giving head bumpies to some of the peoples that came to cuddle me. One ladypeople held me so long that I even gave her a kiss, but only one, and only cuz she was so nice and she gave me kissies and said to my human and me over and over again what a pretty girlie I was and how she loved me. Of course, she said the same about the kitten, but that's understandable. She is my kitten, after all.

My human was all over the place, talking to peoples, putting on those funny white clothes which mean she'll be helping one of the judges with cats (stewarding, she calls it), cuddling other cats. I did permit this as it reminds her just how yummy I am. She did fall in love with a curly Selkirk Rex though, and said that one day we might have one of those too as they're so scrummy, but I just sighed and said nothing. She goes through these phases every now and again, and we always come out the other side minus the new cat, so I'm not too worried.

Soon the results came in, and I've never seen my human so happy in a long time. The kitten had got first prize in her open class, the most important one, and had even managed to take Best of Breed! Not only that, but she then went on to win another class which had a cash prize! I, on the other hand, scored big. I got my second challenge certificate and came first in my open. This means that I need only one more CC and I can then call myself a GCCF champion. How grand is that! I got third in a side class which I was also pleased about. In celebration, I instructed the human to go and spend Millie's winnings on a new toy for us. I thought that the kitten was too young to be expected to spend her moneys wisely as she was muttering something about giving it to the human so that we'd all have won something on the day, so I felt it better to take charge before that crazy notion got too far. My kitten's too nice, sometimes.

So off the human went, and came back with a toy called Under Cover Mouse from Panic Mouse. We got to play with it when we got home, and it's so exciting that I even overcame my initial nervousness that I have of all things new, and played with it without the human having to show me that it was all right and wasn't going to bite me. It's a circular bit of material which covers an electronic pretend mousie who zips around underneath it with only his tail poking out the edge. You gotta catch it under the cover and pin it, but whenever you do, he changes direction and runs away again. He's impossible to kill propperly! No matter what you do to him, he stays alive! For any cat who attacks feets and things under covers, this is such a good toy! Get 'em quick though, cuz they aren't making them for too much longer.

I finished up my day by yelling in the horrible PTU all the way home (well, it's the principle of the thing), then curling up for a good wash and a nap. I'm very pleased with myself and my kitten. We had a super day!

Well, until next time, friends. If you can't be good, be very, very bad... It's much more fun anyway.

Of Bugs and Parrots

Hihihihihihihihi all my somebody friends! It's me again! And I got lots to tell you. Well, it's not really lots unless I can think of lotsa things to say, but I can't tell you another things I thinked on Thursday cuz it isn't Thursday today, so that would be silly! Anyway, I thinked that I would just tell you some things anyway. Is that all right?

So, the first thing is that my human has a change of work hunting place today. She says this is normal, that in her job contract, whatever that is, she has to change the place she day hunts in every three months so that she does the same day hunting, but just in a different place. And I thinked that was pretty silly, cuz if you hunt in the same place for three whole months which is the same as forever, then there'll be no mousies or balls or money papers left to hunt cuz you'd have catched them all. Then I thinked that perhaps the human wasn't a very good hunter which is why it might take her that long to catch all the things before she changes the place. And then I thinked, but what if the mousies and the balls and things that she hunts are just like the mousies and the balls in my house place? Cuz I've been hunting them for over seven months now, which is like more than two forevers, and they still come alive again even after I've deadded them propper. As soon as I walk away and come back again, they need deadded all over again! And it's hard work! My little bug, for example. The human says it's a Neakofly but it's not. It's a bug. But it's always alive. Even when I catch it and pick it up in my mouth and run away with it and say wrow, cuz you can't say weeeeow when you have a bug in your mouth cuz then it falls out and runs away and you gotta chase it and chase it and chase it till you catch it again and then pretend that you meant to let it drop all along anyway and that it was part of the game. The bug is really alive, cuz it crawled into the human's jacket pocket last night when it had had enough of me catching it. It went in there to hide from me, and then it stayed real still and real quiet. And me and the human forgetted all about it till this morning when the human got to her day hunting place and she put her hand in her jacket pocket to get her name badge which is like the secret thing you need to break into the day hunting place where all the coolest things are to hunt. And out jumped the bug and his string that he's attached to, and he tried to run away from her, and all the other mighty day hunters said hahahahahahaha when they see'd the bug. They were probly laughing at my human who couldn't even catch a bug that she'd already catched in her pocket! She says they said words like "crazy cat lady," and "Next she'll smuggle a kitten in in that pocket," and other stuffs like that, but she just said hahahahaha too and telled them she was comfortable with being a nutter as long as it involved snuggly kittens, and sparkly balls and stinky goodness and mousies. Well, she didn't say them last things, but I woulda said that if I was her, cuz they're the bestest things ever.

I got a new nickname too that I forgotted to tell you about. Dogman and the human and even the somebody that comes to take the human away in the big growly monster called car every morning which takes her to her day hunting call me this. They call me Parrot. Why? Cuz my favouritest place in the whole world, maybe even in more than the whole world is on somebody peoples' shoulders, but only on somebody peoples that I like! Oh, it's so coooooool up there! And whenever a somebody picks me up, I climbclimbclimbclimb all the way up them and then onto their shoulders and then I go round the back of their neck and put my front paws and my head on their other shoulder and then I peep out with my face next to theirs, and I say purpurpurpur cuz I'm so happy up there, and if they talk to me or sometimes even if they're not talking to me but talking to a somebody, i say weeeeow and reeeeow and rrroooow to them till they talk to me some too. I like talking!

And if the somebodies don't pick me up, I talk and talk and talk and talk and then I shout right by their feets. And if that doesn't work, I jump and climb all the way up. And if they're bending over, I jump onto their backs and then climbclimbclimb to their shoulders. And I even climbed up Dogman's arm once! The human is a horrid big meanie, cuz she tells all the somebodies not to let me do that. She says it's Ok now cuz I'm a cute little girlcat, but when I turn into a boring old fatty ladycat like mummycat, then I can't do it no more cuz I'll be too heavy and it'll hurt the somebodies. So every time I jump on her back, she straightens up real quick so I fall off her and onto the soft carpet. And even though she's usually on her knees so I don't fall far, and the carpet's soft so I don't really get hurt, I cry and cry like a lost little babycat, but it doesn't work on the human. She does let me on her shoulders, but she has to say it's Ok first before I jump, and if she says no, I gotta listen and not jump, cuz if I do, then I'll just fall off again. But it doesn't work on Dogman. I maked him bleed by accident the other day cuz I put my claws in his skin to climb. And he was upset and said ouch ouch, ooooow! a lot, but when I got to his shoulder I put my claws back in again. And the human said, "See?That's why you need to stop her doing it!" And so the next time when I jumped on him, he maked me fall off just like the nasty human. And I cried and cried and cried like a little hurted babycat, and he picked me up real fast and snuggled me and said "Oh, Millie! Are you all right? Did I hurt you? C'mere and have a cuddle. And as soon as he picked me up, I climbclimbclimbed all the way to his shoulder, and then I said purpurpur, and he couldn't tell me off cuz I hadn't jumped on him or nothing and it's Ok to climb, just not to jump. And so now, he doesn't make me fall off any more, even though the human tells him off for it all the time. Silly Dogman! He's being trained already! And if you wanna see a picture of me being a parrot, you can Look at it here, I think!

I think that's all I thinked of for today. Oh, sept one thing. My human is going away for a little while next week. She says that one of her family is coming across in the big bird that eats peoples and then spits them out again called aeroplane, and she's coming all the way from Ireland and she wants to go see a place called London, so the human's gonna go with her there for a while. And she says that Dogman's niece will come and stay with us and feed us and cuddle us. And Dogman's niece feeled me when I was still just a wriggle in mummycat's tummy (if you actually believe that story), and then she came to see me when I was a teeny, tiny babycat before I even had my eyes open, and she's come and tickled me sometimes too, so I think I'll like her. And then the human will come back on Thursday night with her cousin. And I don't know if I'll like her cuz I don't know her, but she has a girlcat of her own, so maybe she'll be Ok. And then I get to show off at a show on Saturday! Isn't that all exciting!

Now I really can't think of no more. Byebye!

Things I thinked on Thursday

Hihihihihihhi friends! It's me again! And it's my turn to write to you somebodies on this blog thing! Did you miss me all the way through reading what my boring old mummycat had to say? She's not as exciting as me, right?

I don't really have anything spe, spec, pacific (yeah, that's the right word) to weeeeow about today, so I think I'll just weeeeow about whatever I think about. Is that Ok? Oh, I just thinked of something! I don't only say weeeeow any more! I've learned to say rrrrrrreow, just like my stinky brother Paws who's now called Manny by his somebodies did. And the human thinks it's cute. And I say it to her in a real, real loud voice whenever she comes back from the thing that my mummycat says is called her day hunting, cuz I haven't see'd her in ages and I want her to know that I missed her and I need her lovin, now!

And my human's gone forever and forever all the time now. Mummycat says she's only gone for a few hours, and she's only been gone for 4 days so far, but she hasn't. You somebodies know I don't tell porkies, and if I say she's been gone forever and forever every day, then she has! Oh, I spose I should tell you that a porkie is a porkie pie which is my human's mummypeople's name for lies.

The human somebody has started calling me porkie. She calls me Porkie Pig who she says was a little fat piggie who used to be on the box with moving things in it but that you can't catch or touch that my human somebody says is called a TV. And she says he was really cute, but I thinked that I didn't wanna be called a Porkie Pig, even if he was cute. Cuz he's a boy, you see, and everybody somebody knows that boys stink. They're yucky! But she says she calls me Porkie Pig and Puddin and "Wee Fatty" and roly poly cuz I'm getting big and fat. But I know I'm not. It's all muscle and Ok, it might be soft muscle, but a girlcat's muscles don't firm up till she's much, much older, right? Like older than mummycat maybe? But then it's Ok, cuz then you're old enough to tell porkies about how you've only got a saggy tummy cuz you had babycats in it who wriggled and kicked and growed really big and stretched your tummy so that when you popped them out, they leaved a saggy tummy for you. But everybody somebody knows that babycats can't come from your tummy. It's only weewee and poopoo that comes from there, and so I think that mummycat's belly is saggy cuz she's a Porkie Pig too! And I got evidence, whatever that is, to say that that's not a porkie. Cuz my human put her in the bowl of the scary thing that talks to you when you sit on it, and it sayd "3645 grams!" And that's fatter'n me! Cuz then she maked me sit on it and it said "3185 grams" and I said weeeeow and climbed up the human to get away from it, cuz I don't like it very much at all. But them's some real big numbers! So we must be big cats! Do you think I should let her call me all them silly names she has for me?

Dogman has lotsa silly names for us. He makes up songs for mummycat, and he calls her mee-wow cuz when he used ta say that, she used to talk to him. And he calls me kitwin cuz he called me and my stinky brother Paws who's now called Manny the kitwins when we were both here, but now that he's gone, it's all my name, sept it's changed to just kitwin. Sometimes he calls me and mummycat kitwin and catwin and the human calls us double and trouble, sept she doesn't say the and bit. And she calls mummycat munstermunch (they're a kind of crisps over here) and she calls us both the munsters and she calls me "No, Millie" and "Stop it, Millie" and "Get off there where you're not supposed to be, Millie" a lot. So how're we sposed to know our names when they call us all them crazy words? I think we should just be called Mummycat and Millie or Mummycat and Girlcat, cuz I'm not a babycat any more so you can't call me babycat.

I gotted to try some real, real nice stinky goodness the other day that I haven't had ever in the world, and I loved it. And I eated the whole bowl, and the human said she was expecting me to get a runny bum cuz it wasn't the type we usually have, but we didn't. So now she thinks it might be something called grain that is giving me runny bum, cuz the new stuff was turkey pate and didn't have any of this grain stuff in it. And she says that I had it before when I was a very small babycat and that I loved it lots and that I decided after a while that I didn't like it, thank you very much, and I wouldn't eat it no more. So she gived it all away and then I started to like it again. Well, I know she's telling porkies, cuz there's no way I'd not like this stuff. It's great! But she only had 1 carton of it left, so we have to wait for the more that she buyed with the papers that she day hunts for. I don't wanna wait!

And I can't think of nothin else to say now, so I think I'm gonna go and tease mummycat that she's a porkie munstermunch mee-wow catwin pie. Um, I think that's the right name, right?

The Human and Millie and Me

Friends, it's a hard life being me, do you know that? This time last year I thought I had it hard, what with wooing all those mancats and keeping up my untouchable reputation, but honestly, I had no idea of how tough life could be! Now, not only do I have to manage a dull-whitted, recalcitrent human, but I have a kitten to contend with who regularly steals my food, my napping spots and, more importantly, my blog! What's a ladycat to do, friends? I've got no idea!

Anyway, life just got a whole lot tougher. You know why? Because that human, that uncaring, unfeeling human, has abandoned us today! She says she had to return to her day hunting, but I think she's secretly disappearing off to have a good time without us. Couldn't she just stay sick and at home if she cared about us? She reminded me as she gave me a big goodbye cuddle this morning that if she didn't go to her day hunting, there'd be none of those silly papers that she keeps in her purse and doesn't let me play with, and without those papers, there would be no cat food, no nice new toys, no more showing myself off at shows, none of it. I suppose she has a point, but I'd never admit that to her face.

But what to do, friends? I'm stuck at home all day now with this crazy kitten, with no decent company. Not that my human classes as decent company. More of a distraction than anything else, but you'll take my point, I trust. There's not even the addition of new stinky goodness in the bowl at lunchtime to break up the monotony of being the only sensible, clear thinking being in the house. Ok, so the human heaped our bowl full for us this morning. Ok, so there's always dry food down, so much that we'd have to eat until we were sick to get through it in a day. But you know what? I like the stinky goodness best when it's fresh. I mostly only lick the gravy off, and gravy isn't half as appealing if it's been in the bowl all day and Millie's been at it. Ok, the human'll give me more stinky goodness as soon as she gets home, but again, you'll take my point, won't you?

In my less guarded moments, I'll admit that my kitten is growing up nicely. She's not as manic as she used to be. She doesn't take every opportunity to attack me when she finds me sleeping. She doesn't stalk my tail all the time any more. In fact, sometimes she's quite fun. She's really good to play chase with all over the house, and we regularly do the wall of death around the sofas in the living room. Well, she does. You know I'm too much of a well mannered ladycat to go hairing around over the top of peoples and on their furniture, but the baby isn't well mannered at all, and she does everything to excess.

The human has been thinking about excess lately. She has found it fascinating to watch the development of Millie and compare her to me. Millie gorges on food. She's effusive in her snuggling. She plays hard, sleeps hard, loves hard. In fact, she does everything to extremes. Her purr, just like her brothers' is mega loud compared to mine. I, on the other hand, never eat too much when I'm not caring for or feeding kittens. I regulate my own weight beautifully, in fact, too well if you ask the human, as she thinks I'm getting too skinny again. I always ask politely before stepping onto a lap, and I never jump directly onto a people. My human wonders how much of this had to do with my upbringing. I was raised in a multi-cat household, in among many other breeding cats. For many years of my life, I lived in not very great conditions. Long term readers of the blog will know about this as we spoke about those conditions whenever the human first got me. I was always with many other cats, having to share food, and even people attention. The human looks at me sometimes and thinks I'm almost apologetic when I ask to do things like have a cuddle. I'll always understand if she's too busy to cuddle me, but because of this, she always makes a special effort to give me more attention, and hardly ever ignores me unless her hands are dirty or she's really, really busy. I don't even purr loudly. Even Dogman has noticed how quiet my purr is in comparison to Millie's. Millie will bounce in and out of cardboard boxes, but I don't really understand the fascination at all. I can't really work out what they're for. They're a box. Nothing special, right? Or is it because, being born and raised in catteries, I never had the chance to see cardboard boxes at an age where I would have investigated and discovered how fun they were?

And toys, there's another one. I didn't really know how to play until I came to live with the human. She had to teach me that it was Ok to catch the dangly toys that she flicked around, but when I discovered what ping pong balls were. Well, that was a glorious day! Did I have toys as a kitten? She doesn't know.

She's a good human, really. She tries to make sure I have lots of chances to explore new experiences that I might not have seen before. If I show an interest in a new toy, she'll help me get over my nervousness of it (I'm always a bit wary of new things), and she'll show me how to play with it and that it's Ok to play. She lets me try lots of different foods, and the only thing she doesn't really compromise on is that she won't feed me the low quality stinky goodness that I love so much because it's only 4% meat. It also gives the kitten a case of the runny bum, so that might have something to do with it. She takes time out of her day to spend with me, and doesn't let the kitten muscle in on that time. In short, she's pretty all right, really.

I'm so pleased that my baby is being given chances and experiences that I may never have had. It's making her a really rounded cat, and when I see the small things that my human does for her, it just reaffirms why I put up with all her idiocy. The kitten took a real fancy to a shoe box when she was a tiny baby. Her and her brothers used to play in it all the time. Now that was months ago, but because the kitten liked the box so much, the human wouldn't throw it out. Even though it was in the way, she just filled it with toys for the babycat instead, and kept it until Saturday. She only got rid of it because it was falling apart and she knew she'd have another shoe box arriving in the post that very day. Now, there's not many peoples that would do that!

My baby has the best of everything, just as she deserves. And I suppose the human's daily abandonment of me is a small price to pay for that, small when you see how confident my little girlcat is. There's nothing quite like snuggling your baby against your tummy (cuz we do snuggle now that she's stopped fighting me) and knowing that you picked the best human you could to give her a super start in life.

Now, before this gets any mushier, I'm gonna go throw up a hairball in one of the human's slippers... That'll teach her for leaving us!

Secret Paws, at last!

Hi there, friends, and thank you for all of your good wishes for our human yesterday. I just thought I'd stop in to say hello before Millie takes over the rest of this post too. My human has done better today. She's eaten well, and has stayed awake for most of the day which is quite an achievement! She's done some laundry and even managed to hang it all up before she got too tired to do more, so she's definitely improving. She's back at the human vets tomorrow so that they can steal lots of her bloods to do tests on just to make sure everything's all right. She says she's sick of the human vet, and I can understand that as she's been up there quite a lot recently. I can't believe she actually takes herself there voluntarily. I mean, would any sensible cat do that? Nuh uh. If it wasn't for the PTU, I'd not set paw within sniffing distance of a vet place. Anyway, just wanted to let you all know that she's fine and I'm fine and so everything's good! But it's time for our Secret Paws post. Yep, I know it's very late, but when you see what we got, it'll be worth the wait! I'm gonna let Millie tell you all about it seeing as it was her first Christmas and all.


Hihihihihihihi all you somebody friends! Oh,oh, oh, this is the most exciting post ever, cuz I get to tell you all about my Christmas and Santa Paws and everything that he bringed for me! And there's even pictures!


Our Secret Paws package came from Hannah and Lucy
and what a package it was! mummycat says that Santa Paws delivered a package from the girls last year too, and it was amazing then, but I know that this years' was even more amazing! Thank you thank you thank you Hannah and Lucy! Thank you lots and lots and lots! I musta been real, real, real good if Santa Paws telled you to buy all that stuff for me!


Let me tell you all about it. One day, the human came home from work to find two packages on our doorstep. She bringed them inside and set them down for a few seconds to take off her coat and shoes and work clothes, but when she came back, what did she find? One package had no paper on it any more, and the other one looked like a bag with a cute furry bum sticking out of it! the bag moved a lot, and my human's brave, cuz if I was her I wouldn't have went anywhere near it, cuz there was probly a monster in there. But she did go to the bag and she put her hand in and pulled on the thing attached to the cute furry bum and out popped... Me! Oh boy, oh boy, the smell of the present and the excitement was just too big for me, and I had to just get straight in there without waiting for anybody else! I also mighta taked all the paper off the box, but nobody see'd me do it, so I ain't saying if it was me or not! I like paper... See? Look. here's me here trying to help open my nice new mousie toy. I love my mousies!

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And the human said that as she was going away the next day and as I'd opened everything already anyway, today could be Christmas and I could have all my stuff. And I gotted real excited!

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And look at all the stuffs we got! There was loads of it! There was mousies and soft balls and sparkly pink balls and a ball that rattled and yummy treats and a super duper toy that you'll see in a minute, and a big catnip pillow and, and, everything! Look at all my toys!

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The first thing I hadda play with was my blue mousie. I loved him already, cuz he was the first thing I see'd in the parcel. I played and played and played with him lots and lots!

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And then I spotted the balls, and mummycat saw them too, and we both tried to decide if we would play with them.

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And then we both did, all at once! And we chased and chased and chased and killed them. And my favourite one was the pink ball. Just look at it!

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And then I taked my pink ball and my mousie and I put them near me and I telled mummycat that these were mine and she wasn't allowed them, pretty please, cuz I wanted them all for my own! So mummycat went instead and grabbed the big catnip pillow, and she bunnykicked it and she put the bitey on it and she rolled on it, and then i had to play too, cuz it was too good not to share!

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And then, friends, oh and then! My human opened the last box for us, and I went all crazypants like the Katnip cats do. Do you see my big springy toy? As soon as you touch itt, the whole thing moves and wiggles till you just gotta jump on it and kill it! And then it moves some more! And it's soooooo much fun! And I played and played and played and played with it till I gotted real tired. But look at it! Don't you want one too? It's the bestest toy ever! Sept for the blue mousie and the pink ball and the other balls and the catnip pillow and my Da Bird and my sparkly balls and my crinkle balls and everything else too. I have the bestest toys ever!

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But then my human taked out the last thing from the package, and oh my! It was treaties! And not just any old treaties. They were duck treaties! Real duck breast! And once me and mummycat heard that packet go crinkle crinkle crinkle, we climbed all over the human and asked if we could have some. And mummycat said Meow and I screamed till she gave us lots and lotsa treats! And even when she put the bag away, we kept asking for more which isn't what we usually do cuz we're clever and we know that when she puts the packet away there's no more treaties. But this time we asked so much that she gived us more anyway! Oh we love, love, love them! She has them hid on the sofa now and she gives us some if we sit nice while she's cleaning our eyes. And I like them so much that I actually sit almost all the way through now without trying to run away or without crying. Isn't that good?

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So we'd like to say thank you to Hannah and Lucy and to Santa Paws, and it was worth being good for! Who do I need to ask so that Christmas can be every day of the year?

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Strangers no more!

Hihihihihihihihihi friends! Man but I've been gone forever and forever and ages and then a really long time too! Actually, i haven't been gone. It's the human who's been gone sept she wasn't either, least, not for a long time. Let me explain.

Well, after I last writed to you all, she went away from the house and she didn't come back. Mummycat said she'd been eated by a big bird who flew all the way across lotsa water to another place called Ireland. She says the human goes here every year for Christmas to spend time with her mummypeople and her mummypeople's mummypeople who she calls her grannypeople, and all of the other peoples that are in her family. They all live there, see.

I thinked that she was gone forever and forever, but mummycat said it was only for a week. But when the human came back, she smelled funny and she was real hot and she made a big scary noise all the time that she said was a cough and then an "ooooouch!" and then another cough thing. And she went to bed a lot, and she didn't really play with me or anything, and I was sad cuz she wasn't like she used to be. I wondered if the family somebodies had maked her like this.

Then at night she gotted real, real sick, sicker'n I've ever been even when I was going to the litterbox all the time with a runny bum and even sicker than that time when I throwed up all of my foods on the scratchy mat all put together! And the next morning some different people somebodies came and they taked her away in an am-bue-lans, least, I think that's how you say it, and Dogman was very worried, and the human was still sick, and mummycat telled me i had to be a real brave little cat now and look after the human when she came back. She said the somebodies were gonna make her all better and that they weren't human-napping her, so it was all right if she went with them. She said they're like vets for humans. I don't know why my human was glad when they showed up then! I wouldn't have been.

And when she did come back, she was still real sick and she went to bed, and so me and mummycat took it in turns to sleep on her or get her to cuddle us cuz we knew that'd make her feel better. And I said purpurpur a lot to her and I climbed into the bed thing with her and I did a real good job, least, I think I did.

Me and mummycat didn't eat much over the next while cuz we were so worried about the human and upset that she was still sick and unhappy, but then we saw that this was making her upset too, so we started to eat again, but we taked it in turns so there was always one of us with her and she wasn't on her own. Human somebodies need looking afterwhen they're sick!

That's why we've been away for so long. When the human did start to feel better, she wanted to be up and about straight away, so she did this and just maked herself sick again. And in between it all, Computer man blowed up again, so we couldn't write for the blog or anything. And we missed our Secret Paws, but we gots pictures and they'll be up very soon! Sorry we're so late, but I hope you can understand why.

Our human is able to do small things now. She managed to fold all her towels today and stack them nicely again, but even that meant that she had to go to sleep for a couple hours just to recover! She's useless! Mummycat is beside her on the sofa now, all curled into a teeny weeny ball and snoring a bit. Shhhh, don't tell her I said that, but she does!

Thank you to those of you who stopped by to say happy Birthday to the human. She didn't do much for it, but she did get a lovely cake from her grannypeople all the way from Ireland! I didn't want any though. I mean, it had already been eated by a birdie to get it all the way here. I don't eat stuff that birdies have eated. That's yuck! Hmmmm, I wonder if that's why my human got sick? Do you think she mighta got sick cuz of flying in the big bird aeroplane's tummy? Should i tell her she's not allowed to get eated by birds any more?

Anyway, we're gonna have help to put up our Secret Paws post, so watch this space!

Smoochies to you all, and I promise we'll try to be around more, Ok?

Competition winners and stupid humans!

Hihihihihi! Guess what? My human is stupid! I know I know. I still love her, but she's stupider than my stupid, stinky brothers were! You know why? Cuz she gotted her numbers mixed up and she thinked that our super duper competition ended yesterday stead of a whole week ago! How rubbish is that? We're sorry!

Anyway, without further a-do, I get to tell you all who the winner is! I want it to be me, but the human and my booooring old mummycat say that that's not fair cuz I've already tried all the foods and another somebody needs a chance to try it. But shhhh, maybe I'll sneaky some outta the bag before it gets sent away. Don't tell on me though!

Anyway, the winner is............ Hannah and Lucy! Concatulations to the both of you! But I think that Hannah and Lucy shouldn't have telled each other that they were entering, and then if one of them winned, they could keep it a secret and they wouldn't hafta share with the other one! That's what I woulda done, cuz this food is yummy, yummy, yummy! My human says to Hannah and Lucy could they please tell their people somebody to email her their address details and we'll get the prize posted to you! Also, we need a time when you'll be in, and a date pretty please. What's an email?

I've decided. my human is sel, sel, um, not very good at sharing. Oh, I member the word now! It's shellfish! She is! She never shares her yummy foods with me sept for the time when she telled Dogman (that's what my mummycat says his name is) to give me a chip once cuz I was asking really politely for one. My human says I was pestering, but I wasn't! I was just sitting beside his plate and telling him loudly that I wanted one, and sniffing at them and trying to take one. That's polite! At least I didn't just grab and run! When I gotted the chip I ran away with it in my mouth and I didn't share with nobody and I hided behind the chair and eated it all up myself in secret. And I like chips. But the human won't give me any. She says they aren't cat foods and so I don't get to have them. How shellfish is that!

I'm so clever, you know. My mummycat is a bit stupid, but shhh, don't tell her I telled you that else she'll smack me! My human has this super duper ball thing that she calls a treat ball. And she puts really yummy foods in there and if you wanna eat them, you hafta push the ball till it rolls over and spits out some foods. I use the ball maybe 3 times every week, and mummycat, even though she watches me every time, still doesn't know how to get the foods out. She just sits there and cries at the ball, but it doesn't spit out any foods for her. I think it's great, cuz then I don't hafta share! And even when the human tries to feed mummycat some of the treaties without me seeing, I'm so clever that I do see, and I come and copy mummycat and put my paws on the human and shove my face right into her hand and eat real, real fast so's mummycat can't have them all to herself. And it's cool cuz I know that even when I'm finished, there's still loads in the ball that's all mine!

I love to carry things in my mouth too, and mummycat doesn't do that neither. I've bringed two mousies into the bedroom and put them beside the bed thing for a present for the human in the mornings. She always tells me how clever I am for giving her a present. I have glittery balls too, and a straw thing with a glittery ball on the end too, and I pick them up in my mouth and then I jump on the human's knee in my chair and I drop the thing on her and then she tells me how clever I am. And then she wiggles the straw thing or throws the ball for me and then I gotta run real, real fast and jump on it real good and pick it up and kill it and then bring it back to her again. And it's such a cool game!

But yesterday, my human was real horrible to me. Dogman was still at the house, so the human leaved without putting any new stinky goodness in my bowl! But she forgotted to tell Dogman to feed us too, and he doesn't check the bowls a lot cuz he doesn't feed us. And I gotted hungrier and hungrier and I climbed on him and I said "weeeeow!" but he didn't do nothing sept give me a cuddle and then go on typing on Computer. and then I jumped on the back of the chair and I said "Weeeeow!" and he didn't do nothing again! And then I jumped on Computer and started attacking the little moving thing that was wiggling. And then he did do something. And he picked me up and he said "Millie, stop attacking the mouse. I can't work when you're doing that!" And I said "Weeeeow! Weeeeow!" and I put my claws out and holded onto him real tight but all he did was put me down. And then I went and lay sadly by my stinky goodness bowl, and my tummy went all hurty and rumbly and it sounded like there was a monster in there. And so I runned away and went on the sofa instead, cuz all somebodies know that a monster can't get you if you're under a blanket on the sofa. My mummycat asked me why I didn't eat the dry foods, but I didn't answer her. I was starving! I didn't care if there was dry foods. I needed stinky goodness!

And then my human came home and she feeded me and I eated and eated and eated until the monster went away and my tummy wanted to say pop! And then I gived the human a big cuddle. And then I went and climbed into the chair with Dogman and I lay on my back and he tickled my tummy and I went to sleep, cuz all somebodies know that monsters can't get you when you're sleeping on a somebody.

But then I heard mummycat crying her "I'm in the bath and I don't like it" cry, so I went to see and the bathroom door was closed and the human wouldn't let me in. Sept she did, but only after mummycat went out all wrapped up in a towel. But then I didn't want to go in cuz it was my turn for a bath. But do you know what? I sat like a very good girlcat and I only tried to jump out twice. But I let her wash my legs and my tail and everywhere and I tried to eat the bubbles that came into the bath just like magic! But my human said "no, Millie. You'll get sick. And anyway, I can't wash you when you're diving on bubbles." So I stopped and was good again. And then I got air on me from the nois

Questions Galore

Hihihihihihihihi all you somebodies! Guess who it is? Do ya know yet?? Would it help if I said "weeeoooooow!" Now do you know?

It's me! your friend Millie! Least, I think I'm your friend. You all like me, right? Even though Mummycat telled you that I telled fibs bout last time when I said she was too lazy to talk to you all? Cuz she was! I promise! I wouldn't tell fibs cuz mummycat says she'll give me the smackypaw of doom for being a bad babycat. But I'm not a babycat! I'm a big girl now! Even my human says I'm getting real, real heavy. She's started calling me fatcat now same as she calls mummycat. Mummycat doesn't care cuz she says it's just more yummy tummy for the human to snuggle. I thinked about thwapping the human for calling me fatcat, cuz I'm not! I have no saggy tummy like mummycat, and I don't care if mummycat says it's my fault that she gotted it in the first place. How can it be my fault! It's not my tummy! She says me and my stinky brothers were in there and stretched it with all our growing and kicking and wriggling, but I know she's joking me. She thinks I'm still a babycat who'd fall for stories like that, but I'm not. I know it's only weewee and the other smelly stuff that mummycat says is a bad word that comes out of your tummy, and that goes in the litterbox. You don't make babycats whenever you go for a weewee. I wish she'd stop telling me fibs, cuz I can't even give her smackypaw like she threatens me with, cuz she's still too big and she wins all the time.

Mummycat's good to attack though, but she's not as good as my stinky brother Paws who the human says is now called Manny by his new people somebodies, cuz Manny used to always lose to me and I could make him scream like a big girlkitten. Maybe I should weeeeow very, very loud to his new peoples, cuz they're getting his name wrong and maybe I could help them get it right so's he knows they're talking to him when they say Manny. And she's definitely not as good as my stinky brother Porker. He sometimes even used to win with me. Ok, he mostly winned, but that's cuz he was bigger and he was a bully and he used to just throw his fat on me so's I couldn't move. But I could still make him squeal like a big girlkitten. Hahahahaha! I'm the bestest! I only made mummycat squeal once, but I don't think I'll do that again, cuz the game wasn't very fun after that. She came and chased me and she gotted real mad and she catched me and she held me down with one paw and she gived me lots and lotsa smackypaw with the other one and then she put the bitey on me until I squeaked, and then she cleaned me all over. I know I'm sposed to stay still when she's cleaning me else I get more telling off, but it was so, soooooo boooooooring! And by the time she finished I was all wet and smelling like mummycat and I had no energy to fight any more. So now when I attack her I member to keep the bitey from hurting.

Mummycat's sorta fun cuz she holds me in her paws when I fight with her, and she doesn't hurt me and we can roll around together. And even if I roll loads I'm still in mummycat's paws or on her chest and it's all nice and warm and snuggly, and she doesn't get cross unless I make the bitey too hard, but it's Ok cuz I mostly member not to now. And my favo, favou, my best place to attack her is on the soft rug in front of the stinky horrible bath. My human doesn't like this cuz she says she'd quite like some peace when she's in there, thank you very much, but I know she doesn't mind really.

Seeing as we're speaking about weewee, well, we kinda were, my mummycat is so, so weird sometimes. She keeps cleaning her bumbum and she's saying meeeeeeeeeeow! a lot in a very loud voice and she's walking around as if she's looking for something. And she keeps going in the litterbox all the time and making real, real smelly weewee, sept that she's not being polite about it. she's putting it all up the walls of the litterbox instead of in the litter. And I've tried to cover it up for her by scraping the walls, but it doesn't go away. And it smells real weird. Mummycat says it's to tell the mancats where she is, but that's silly cuz we don't have any mancats who live with us. And even if my brothers were here they'd only be stinky boycats, not mancats, so why's she doing this? And anyway, why would she want a mancat? Everybody knows that boys are stinky and horrible, right? And they cry all the time or bully you or things like that, so why's she looking for one? My human laughed and told her that she didn't need more of a saggy belly just yet, thank you very much, and that got me thinking. She said she had a saggy tummy cuz of us when we were babycats. And I think she's lying, so the human should give her smackypaw and not let her have any fish, but then mummycat's going in the litterbox all the time. Is she trying to see if a babycat comes out? Cuz if she is, it's not working. All she gets is smelly weewee, and I know babycats aren't made of smelly weewee! I'm so conf, um, I don't know the answer and I want one of my friends to tell me!

My human is loving me coming to bed with her, specially cuz I rubrubrub all my body on her now as well as my head, and when I fall over, I make sure to always land on her face so's she knows it's me and where I am. And I try to only do this when there's no light in the sky and she's making the loud sleep noises that sound like my stinky brother Porker Fatboy did when he was choking and nearly stopped breathing when he was real tiny. Stupid Porker! I never did that! But then girls are more smarter than boys anyway. Everybody somebody knows that, right?

My human always says things like "Go away Millie," or "Millie, did you have to wake me up?" or "Millie, it's 3 in the morning and I have to get up for work in 2 hours. Leave me alone!" But I know this is just her pretending, cuz the next minute the bed thing sicks up her arm and her hand cuddles me and gives me scritches and strokeys till I get so excited that I fall over for real and have to snuggle in with my body in the bed thing's tummy under the blanket and my two front paws just over the top of the blanket and my head in the human's shoulder right under her chin. And the human melts, but she goes mushy when I say purpurpur real hard. But I like to say purpurpur, so that's Ok. And then it's still Ok cuz there's two whole hours for her to cuddle me before she has to get up for work, and if she stops cuddling and starts to make the sleep noises, I get up and walk on her face and on her head and then fall over and say "weeeeeeow!" till she starts again. I'm sure she enjoys it as much as I do! And she gets enough sleepy time. She makes the sleep noises even in the early evening now. She says it's cuz I make her so tired, but that's not true. If you had sleepy time in the evening you wouldn't mind getting up when it was dark to cuddle a cute girlkitten, would you?

My human buyed me the coolest toy ever in the world yesterday. Well, sept for Da Bird and my treaty ball and the crinkly balls and the ping pong balls, cuz they're the coolest toys in the world too, don't you think? this new one is a ball that's got holes in it, and in the middle of the ball is a mousey that says "squeak, squeak" every time you give him smackypaw or try to put the bitey on him or try to pull him outta the ball. And if you whap the ball so's it rolls, he says "squeaksqueaksqueaksqueak" and does somersaults all the time the ball's moving. How cool is that! Do you want one? Mummycat says I need to start making a list of toys I want, cuz Santa Paws is coming soon.

Mummycat says that Santa Paws is a big, fat, jolly old mancat who is red like my stinky brother Paws, sept not like him cuz he only had red face and tail and feets, but Santa Paws is red all over. Sept a patch he has on his front starting at his mouth. That's white, and it goes all the way down his front. And she says that he comes in through the catflaps of all good boycats and girlcats and mummycats and daddycats and even big mancats and ladycats who aren't mummycats or daddycats. And he has a big bag with him, and in his bag is lots and lotsa presents, like super presents, like balls and feathers and treaties and lots and lotsa things. And if you're good, you get to have your presents and open them on Christmas, or Catmas, and then you can play with them all at once! She says if you're bad though, all you get is a bath instead. I think I should work on being good. But friends, is mummycat telling the truth? I see'd a cat who looks just like she says Santa Paws does at the last cat show I was at, but he didn't give me no presents, and I was real good that day too! I also thinked that he wouldn't be able to come see us till mummycat taked me to the kitchen and showed me the catflap in the back door. We don't get to use it cuz we aren't allowed to go into the scary outside room, but mummycat says that the cats that lived with the people somebody that lived in the house before we came had cats who used it. She says not to worry, that she'll tell the human to unblock it so that Santa Paws can get in, but that I gotta be good else I'll not get nothing! Is this true? I need you to tell me!

Well, now I really can't think of nothing else to say, and anyway, I'm hungry, so I'm gonna go eat all the stinky goodness I can fit inside of me! Maybe then I'll make a babycat next time I go for a weewee!

Yummy Foods and Competition Time!

Friends, it feels like ages since I spoke to you last, thanks to Millie sneaking on here last time to write to you! I know she told you I was too busy sleeping to come say hi to you, but honestly, did you believe that? I'd never pass up a chance to speak to my friends! I was taking a well earned nap after using up every scrap of my energy to wriggle out from the mound of blanket that the human had buried me in (she says she did it because she knows I like to snuggle in it, but really, I know she did it to make me work harder for my food!), jump all the way down from the sofa, then walk the ludicrous distance to the other end of it to reach the food bowl. Then I had to do it all over again to find my way back! Friends, it was horrific, and by the time I'd wiggled back down to find my warm spot in the blanket, I was too exhausted to write anything. you understand, don't you?

Anyway, enough about my dilemma. I just wanted to reassure you all that I still love you and that I wouldn't not write to you. Don't believe anything that little snip of a kitten tells you!

I have something exciting to tell you about today, and it involves food! Food's always exciting, isn't it? I mean, there's nothing better in the world! Except maybe tummy tickles or a sun puddle or Da Bird, but you get the idea.

A couple of months a go, there was a knock on our front door, and then a very nice man dropped off a huge bag of foods for me! Millie thought it was for her, but we know better, right? Anyway, the human brought it into the house... And then put it up high where I couldn't reach it! It was around the time that Millie and Paws had dodgy tummies, and she spouted some rubbish along the lines of "well, if they have it it might upset their tummies, and if I put it in your bowl they'll eat it, so you'll just have to wait." I really want to whap my human sometimes, you know.

Eventually though, the babies' tummies settled, and at last, it was time to crack open that bag of food! It's called NutriCat, and it turns out that the super duper peoples at NutriCat
sent us a big bag of it to review for them. You know me, friends. I know my duty, and when it comes to reviewing, I take that duty very, very seriously indeed.

NutriCat is nutritionally very similar to the yummy Royal Canin that the human feeds us already, which is good cuz she's very particular about what we eat. Ok, RC isn't the best dry food on the market, but every time she tries to change me over, I build up loads of sick, then go and leave it in presents for her all over the bedroom carpet. I do this cuz she's told me that that's the only one in the house that isn't stain proof, so I know if I puke there it'll have the biggest impact. So she gave up trying to change me over and just left me on the RC and supplemented it with lots of very good quality wet stinky goodness.

But I'm getting side tracked. Anyway, it's pretty much the same nutritionally. It comes in smaller bags than the RC, but that's Ok cuz it's so easy to get hold of. Tesco sells it, so you can have it delivered right to your door!

As we heard the bag rattle, we all gathered close, and when she opened it, oh my, oh my, oh my! The smell! It was heavenly! She took some out of the bag and got on the floor with us to let us take some whiffies nice and close up. Now, do you remember a few months ago I spoke about training my human to give me treats? I'd put my paws up on her leg and she'd give me a treat. she thought she was training me to put my paws on her for treats, but we all know better. Anyway, as soon as I got a whiff of the yummy stuff up came my paws and they planted themselves firmly on her leg and didn't move! She, well trained human that she is, presented the foods to me and I ate. Oh my cod did they taste good! I ate some more, then opened my mouth real wide and tried to eat everything that she had in her hand! I dropped most of it, but it didn't matter cuz I just picked it up again. I crammed myself full, cuz I could see that the babies were closing in and I didn't want to share.

Paws had never eaten from the human's hand before. He says he wasn't stupid enough to do that cuz he knew that food always came from a bowl, not the human, but the more he watched me, the more his nose twitched and the closer he got until, in the end, he pushed me out of the way and snarfled a big mouthful for himself! At this point, I was fighting to get my spot back, and Millie was attempting to climb into the foods bag to get at the biggest stash of all! She's resourceful, that girl of mine. The human had to actually remove the bag from our reach before she could carry on feeding us.

She put NutriCat
down in our bowls a few times, but she gave up on that very quickly. You see, normally, we pick at our dry foods, but when NutriCat was in the bowls, we cleaned them usually inside an hour or so! At the time I was starting to get a bit, ah, soft around the middle, and she didn't want the kittens gorging either so soon after having bad tummies. Instead, she filled up our treat ball every day which meant we had to work for our foods. Have I mentioned I'd love to thwap my human at times?

You know how much I love Dreamies, but friends, this food tastes just as good, so good that it's actually worth working for! And if you tell the human I said that, I'll deny it every time. Sadly, we've finished our bag now, but I've instructed her to buy more for us.

NutriCat is reasonably priced, but I did find the bits a little difficult to pick up cuz I'm a Persian and I need special foods to be able to pick them up easily. But this didn't stop me eating as much as I could cram in my mouth!

So, pros: Reasonably priced, very easily available, smells yummy, tastes incredible! Good nutritional profile for a dry food

Cons: Bag doesn't reseal very well, kibbles are hard for Persians to pick up, meat content could be higher (but it's pretty standard for dry foods, so we're not saying it's really bad!). We can't think of anything else bad to say about the food except that you might get fat on it cuz it tastes so good that you'll want to eat it all! But then if you put on a little extra wait, it's all the more yummy tummy for your peoples to snuggle, right? So this is another good point!

The human has written her boring words to review NutriCat over on The Moonspun Blog
and there's a competition there too, but oh, I haven't told you about our competition yet!

The super duper peoples at NutriCat
have generously offered one person the chance to win a whole month's supply of foods all for themselves! They say you may have to share with the other cats you live with, but I don't agree. If you win, tell nobody, then when the bag comes, go hide it away and keep the fact that you are in possession of the yummiest food ever very, very quiet!

So how can you win? All you have to do is visit the NutriCat website
and have a look at the different types of foods on offer. Then you just come back here and tell us what flavour of foods you'd like by commenting on this post. And it's as simple as that!

The competition will run until 12 midnight next Monday 5th of December. Each comment will be asigned a random number, and the winner will be chosen by a random number generator. Then the lovely peoples at NutriCat will send the foods out to you and you can start enjoying!

Remember, for those of you who are fixed on what you eat, NutriCat really is scrummy, and you could enter and use it as a treat food even if you don't have it as your main food every day. Yep, it's that good that you'll eat it as a treat too!

Right, enough from me, there's some more foods around here somewhere, and I gotta get it before Millie does. Good luck to you all and thank you very much, NutriCat, for my yummy scrummy foods!

Just to add that the competition is only available to those living in the UK. Sorry!

My super day at the Supreme!

Hihihihihi! My human has just come home from work and she says I can writed the things to the other somebodies today. And Mummycat says this is Ok too cuz she's getting some sleepy time in the human's real nice soft blanket that I really like and she says that if I want to weeeeow our story then she'll just carry on pushing out zzzzzs. So I get to tell you somebodies all about our exciting times and the good stuff that happened and the not so good stuff that happened and everything else!


Mummycat says that it's good to start with the not so good stuff but I don't know how good is not good and I'm confused, but mummycat says I should do it this way and I don't wanna get smackypaw for being naughty so I'll just do it like that and if somebody can tell me how not good stuff is good to start with then I'll say thank you and let you play with me! Anyway, the not good stuff is that I really miss my stinky brother Paws. I've been missing him lots and lots and lots over the last few days. And I looked and looked for him and I called a little and then I went and sat on my human somebody and thinked that I'd steal all her cuddles cuz my stinky brother Paws wasn't around to take over her lap any more. But then I got to thinking that now I'd not have him to play with any more, and then I got sad and I crawled under the sofa to where he used to sleep and I said "eeeeeooooow," over and over again very quietly and sadly cuz I knew he wasn't coming back and I missed him and I really wanted him here even if he was stinky and horrible. And then my human somebody finded me and I put my claws out and hung on real tight when she picked me up for a cuddle and we both cried together for a bit. And I've been doing that for days now, and I don't eat lots and lotsa foods any more either. It's just not so much fun with him not around. I need somebody to beat up!


But now the better stuff that happened. We went to that super duper cat show that we told you all about last week. And I got a very, very pretty pen to stay in for the day. It had all fancy curtains and lotsa toys for me to play with inside. my human somebody says those toys were actually pen decorations and I wrecked them, but I had such a good time that I didn't care and she didn't get mad cuz I was having so much fun. And guess what? Me and mummycat both won first prizes in our classes! And the human somebody was so, so proud! She was so pleased with me that she buyed me a toy spider and a toy thing called a stinky that's like a tiny little fish that stinks real bad of yummy catnip! And she buyed me a plague rat too. Do any of you have those? They're soooooo coooooool! They stink real bad sept that the stink is good even though my human says that the valerian they're filled with smells like dirty feets, but I love it and I go crazy playing with it! And mummycat got the same toys sept for the spider too, but I don't think she deserved them cuz the human says she was real, real grumpy all day, and I wasn't. I was super good and I even asked one of the lady somebodies called judge for a tummy tickle when she was telling me what a pretty girl I was, and I only got a spider as extra! It's not fair! The human somebody says that mummycat gotted the toys cuz she was upset and she wanted to give her something nice, but I still think it's not fair.


Mummycat didn't like the show at all cuz there was too many people somebodies and the judging is different to normal shows and she says it unsettled her so she turned into mrs grumpy for the rest of the day. But I smiled at everybody somebody that went by and lotsa them told me how pretty I was and everything! And guess what? Cuz I was such a good girl and arranged my pen toys so well and showed off my super spider to everybody that wanted to see, I won another prize! I won 5th place in the best decorated pen competition! So all my hard work paid off! Mummycat didn't win anything, but she was shortlisted for prizes. That's so good cuz there was over 1100 other pens there! If you wanna se epictures of how pretty I am and how much of a grumpypants mummycat was, you can. Mummycat is pen number 8 and can be seen Here.
I'm">http://www.catplanet.co.uk/index.php/shows/gccf-cat-shows/55-supreme-cat-show-191111/165-supreme-cat-show-2011-decorated-pen-entries">Here.
I'm in pen number 33 and can be seen Herehttp://www.catplanet.co.uk/index.php/shows/gccf-cat-shows/55-supreme-cat-show-191111/166-supreme-cat-show-2011-decorated-pen-winners">Here>

I think I like shows mostly cuz I always get super duper toys on the day and that's good cuz a girlkitten can never have enough toys! I didn't like it on the way home though cuz I was stuck in that horrible PTU for ages and ages and I just wanted to come out and cuddle my human. But mummycat was in a real mess cuz she did a poo and a weewee in her PTU and then shouted and shouted about it all the way home. She's just as much of a baby as my two stinky brothers are! But shhhh, don't tell her I said that!


I can't think of nothing else to say, so I'm gonna go play with my stinky and my rat and my spider. Wanna come play too?

Long overdue update!

Hi there, friends. Wow, it's been a long time since I've seen any of you! As usual, it's the human's fault, although I have to confess that I'm not giving her a hard time about this absence as over the last few weeks we and she have been through a lot. Don't tell her, but i actually feel quite sorry for her. I'm sorry we've been away for so long, and I'm sorry if any of you have been worried. I swear that I'm going to learn to type one of these days! As usual, there's an update from her point of view over on The Moonspun Blog
so rather than going into it here again, I'll let you go there to read about the day to day practical boring bits.






Millie: Mum, mum, mum, mummummummum!!! I gotta talk too! Muuuuuummy, will you share with me so's I can tell my friends all about the cool stuff I did? Please? Muuuuuum!





Tia: Cod, but kids are annoying! Just when you think you have a moment of peace and quiet for a good miaow and catch up, they come and hassle you to get in on the action! Ok, for the sake of my sanity, I'll share a post with her. Sorry, friends!





Millie: Hihihihihihi friends! It's me! Did you all miss me? Cuz I missed you lots and lots and lots! Oh I've done so many new things since I said "weeeeow! Weeooow!" to you last time. I'm learning new noises now!





Tia: She is indeed, and me and the human have even caught her practicing them to herself when she thinks nobody's listening. I praise her for her commitment to her elocution, but the human laughs behind her hand.





Millie: Muuuuuum, stop talking cuz it's my turn! Anyway, I can now say "Eo, eo, eo!" I make it short and sharp when I'm asking for something from the human somebody. I do it at food time, and she laughs and says I kinda sound a tiny bit like a dogkitten who wants some milk. I thought about giving her the smackypaw for that, but I still love her too much. I say "wow, wow, wow!" now too to make the bed thing sick the human somebody up in the mornings, and it always works! I have even learned to say "rrrrrrrrreow purpurpurpur rrrrrrrrrreow!" She calls this a chirp. This gets the human somebody's face all smiley and she always gives me yummy food or a tummy tickle or some lovins when I say that, so i prac, prac, try to learn it real hard.





Oh, I gotted real brave the other day too. The human had been eated by the bed thing again, but I gotted to thinking. Perhaps the bed thing wasn't nasty, cuz it always sicked her up again and there was never any of her missing. I decided to go and explore, so when I saw a space between her skin and the thing she calls a blanket, I took a deep breath, said a farewell weeeeow to mummycat and my stinky brother Paws, then dived under it. What I found was a very warm, cosy place with a lot of human smelling thing in it. The thing was warm too, so after I'd explored a bit, I cuddled up against it. Then, get this! The human's big paw hand came down and tickled me! Inside the bed thing's tummmy! Well, I was so shocked that I didn't wait for the bed thing to sick me up again. I runned really fast outta there and climbed on the human's head and then stopped and looked around. The blanket was shaking. There was a strange hahahahaha noise coming from the human. I wondered if she was sick, but she wasn't. I don't know what that was, but mummycat said I should have given her smackypaw for it. Why? I gotted brave a couple more times since then, and I actually went to sleep in the bed thing's tummy cuddled against the human this morning. Aren't I brave?





Tia: Yes you are, but you're also post hogging! Friends, our cat show went quite well. Paws came second in his class, and I came first in mine. Millie came...





Millie: Muuuuuum! That's my story! I went to this big place where there were lots and lots and lots of people somebodies and lots and lots and lots of other kittens and big mummycats and big daddycats and some big cats that weren't mummycats or daddycats. And I gotted to go into a thing called a pen all day, but I kinda liked it cuz the floor was all soft and snuggly with a blanket on it, and there was good food in the pen, and in the afternoon I even got a ping pong ball and a ribbon to play with! And the human brushed me and my stinky brother Paws until we were all fluffy and beautiful, well, more beautiful than I am all the time, and then she went away and left us. And I was a little bit ascared when she went away, and so was my stinky brother Paws, so we both putted our paws through the bars and he said "roooooow! roooooow!" and I said "weeeeeeeeeow!" until a people somebody came and took us both out for a cuddle. And then there were lots of different people somebodies who cuddled me and looked at my teeths and my eyes and my tummy and everywhere! And I talked to them all, and my stinky brother Paws even said purpurpur!





And then my human came back, and she brought lots and lots of somebodies with her. I've never seen so many! She was pleased when one of the somebodies hung a ribbon on my pen. She said it meant I'd won. I was just pleased cuz it was something else to play with. And all the somebodies stopped and made nice talk noise at me through the bars, and if they didn't stop, I said "weeeeow!" until they did, or grabbed them with my paws until they told me how pretty I was! And Paws was really naughty, cuz he kept putting the smackypaw on the bumbum of the people somebody next to us who had a kitten in the pen beside Paws. The human and the people somebody laughed, and the people somebody even snuggled my stinky brother Paws and told him he was a naughty boy, that she loved him and that she hoped he wasn't trying to tell her that her bumbum was fat! I was annoyed though. It's not fair, cuz when I bite Paws' bumbum, mummycat and the human get real mad, but he can smack people somebodies on the bumbum and nothing happens sept he gets snuggles! It's not fair! I won't beat him up for it though, cuz he's got a new home to go to now, and he goes on the 12th of November. And I don't know if I'll miss him when he leaves. He's stinky and I like to beat him up, but he's my brother and when he goes I'll have nobody to play with. Do any of you want to come play instead? Maybe Truffle and her new sister would like to come live with me instead? We could have great fun!





Tia: You might have a new playmate of your own soon, Millie. The human has continued to make kitten enquiries from breeders who will actually let her have a kitten despite the fact that she refuses to get involved in the politics in the cat world (long, long story there), and so something may come of that in the next few months. Besides, I'm feeling certain urges again... I've been thinking a lot about mancats yesterday and today. There's a handsome black tom who now regularly comes to our garden... I know he has no breeding behind him, but still, the way I'm feeling at the moment, I wouldn't much care. I've been really shouting for him all morning, but he hasn't heard me, and the human won't let me go out and find him. She's cuddling me lots though, and scratching at the base of my tail which takes my mind off things for a few minutes. She says she wants to hold off for as long as possible before I have more babies. She wants to give me time to recover from the C section, but ironically, she says she's never seen me in such a strong mood for company since perhaps a year and a half. Now that I know what I'm missing though, I want it all the more! Those pesky kids won't leave me alone to go hunting for love, mind you. I've had to really discipline Paws twice already today, with yowling and smacking at the same time. I don't care if he wants a snuggle. I don't! Thankfully, the human's stepped in and taken him away from me each time, reminding me that he's just had surgery and that I should leave him be for a few days. Maybe he'll learn not to bother me for snuggles then!





I know I'll miss him when he goes. I do love him a lot, and we cuddle together most days when I'm not hunting for a mate. The human hopes he'll go while I'm calling cuz she and I both think I'd notice it less if it happened then. We'll just have to wait and see though.





The decorations for our pens at the Supreme cat show are going well, and should be finished this week! We also have a very interesting competition coming up in the near future. It's food orientated, so if you like your yumyums, then watch this space!





Just to answer some of the comments, I did indeed have fun at the show, but I didn't do much screaming at peoples to come love on me. I left that glory for my babies, and boy did they do well! Tina, we don't have Petco in the UK sadly. Random Felines, Porker is doing very well in his new home now! He is now called Bianco, and they love him lots! Carmine and Milita, we don't have Greenies either! We're deprived in the UK! Truffle, how exciting for you! My human says she thinks she's convinced Bug to bring some over when he comes at Christmas... Or at least, she'll convince him when she asks him. Ahem, Bug, if you're reading this, I love you, and you owe me a Christmas present! Please make it Party Mix! Thank you all for caring enough to keep stopping by! Again, I won't go into details, but those comments spaced as they were over the last few weeks, have given my human smiles on days where she thought she'd have no reason to do so. Thank you!