Saturday, 4 February 2012

Of Bugs and Parrots

Hihihihihihihihi all my somebody friends! It's me again! And I got lots to tell you. Well, it's not really lots unless I can think of lotsa things to say, but I can't tell you another things I thinked on Thursday cuz it isn't Thursday today, so that would be silly! Anyway, I thinked that I would just tell you some things anyway. Is that all right?

So, the first thing is that my human has a change of work hunting place today. She says this is normal, that in her job contract, whatever that is, she has to change the place she day hunts in every three months so that she does the same day hunting, but just in a different place. And I thinked that was pretty silly, cuz if you hunt in the same place for three whole months which is the same as forever, then there'll be no mousies or balls or money papers left to hunt cuz you'd have catched them all. Then I thinked that perhaps the human wasn't a very good hunter which is why it might take her that long to catch all the things before she changes the place. And then I thinked, but what if the mousies and the balls and things that she hunts are just like the mousies and the balls in my house place? Cuz I've been hunting them for over seven months now, which is like more than two forevers, and they still come alive again even after I've deadded them propper. As soon as I walk away and come back again, they need deadded all over again! And it's hard work! My little bug, for example. The human says it's a Neakofly but it's not. It's a bug. But it's always alive. Even when I catch it and pick it up in my mouth and run away with it and say wrow, cuz you can't say weeeeow when you have a bug in your mouth cuz then it falls out and runs away and you gotta chase it and chase it and chase it till you catch it again and then pretend that you meant to let it drop all along anyway and that it was part of the game. The bug is really alive, cuz it crawled into the human's jacket pocket last night when it had had enough of me catching it. It went in there to hide from me, and then it stayed real still and real quiet. And me and the human forgetted all about it till this morning when the human got to her day hunting place and she put her hand in her jacket pocket to get her name badge which is like the secret thing you need to break into the day hunting place where all the coolest things are to hunt. And out jumped the bug and his string that he's attached to, and he tried to run away from her, and all the other mighty day hunters said hahahahahahaha when they see'd the bug. They were probly laughing at my human who couldn't even catch a bug that she'd already catched in her pocket! She says they said words like "crazy cat lady," and "Next she'll smuggle a kitten in in that pocket," and other stuffs like that, but she just said hahahahaha too and telled them she was comfortable with being a nutter as long as it involved snuggly kittens, and sparkly balls and stinky goodness and mousies. Well, she didn't say them last things, but I woulda said that if I was her, cuz they're the bestest things ever.

I got a new nickname too that I forgotted to tell you about. Dogman and the human and even the somebody that comes to take the human away in the big growly monster called car every morning which takes her to her day hunting call me this. They call me Parrot. Why? Cuz my favouritest place in the whole world, maybe even in more than the whole world is on somebody peoples' shoulders, but only on somebody peoples that I like! Oh, it's so coooooool up there! And whenever a somebody picks me up, I climbclimbclimbclimb all the way up them and then onto their shoulders and then I go round the back of their neck and put my front paws and my head on their other shoulder and then I peep out with my face next to theirs, and I say purpurpurpur cuz I'm so happy up there, and if they talk to me or sometimes even if they're not talking to me but talking to a somebody, i say weeeeow and reeeeow and rrroooow to them till they talk to me some too. I like talking!

And if the somebodies don't pick me up, I talk and talk and talk and talk and then I shout right by their feets. And if that doesn't work, I jump and climb all the way up. And if they're bending over, I jump onto their backs and then climbclimbclimb to their shoulders. And I even climbed up Dogman's arm once! The human is a horrid big meanie, cuz she tells all the somebodies not to let me do that. She says it's Ok now cuz I'm a cute little girlcat, but when I turn into a boring old fatty ladycat like mummycat, then I can't do it no more cuz I'll be too heavy and it'll hurt the somebodies. So every time I jump on her back, she straightens up real quick so I fall off her and onto the soft carpet. And even though she's usually on her knees so I don't fall far, and the carpet's soft so I don't really get hurt, I cry and cry like a lost little babycat, but it doesn't work on the human. She does let me on her shoulders, but she has to say it's Ok first before I jump, and if she says no, I gotta listen and not jump, cuz if I do, then I'll just fall off again. But it doesn't work on Dogman. I maked him bleed by accident the other day cuz I put my claws in his skin to climb. And he was upset and said ouch ouch, ooooow! a lot, but when I got to his shoulder I put my claws back in again. And the human said, "See?That's why you need to stop her doing it!" And so the next time when I jumped on him, he maked me fall off just like the nasty human. And I cried and cried and cried like a little hurted babycat, and he picked me up real fast and snuggled me and said "Oh, Millie! Are you all right? Did I hurt you? C'mere and have a cuddle. And as soon as he picked me up, I climbclimbclimbed all the way to his shoulder, and then I said purpurpur, and he couldn't tell me off cuz I hadn't jumped on him or nothing and it's Ok to climb, just not to jump. And so now, he doesn't make me fall off any more, even though the human tells him off for it all the time. Silly Dogman! He's being trained already! And if you wanna see a picture of me being a parrot, you can Look at it here, I think!

I think that's all I thinked of for today. Oh, sept one thing. My human is going away for a little while next week. She says that one of her family is coming across in the big bird that eats peoples and then spits them out again called aeroplane, and she's coming all the way from Ireland and she wants to go see a place called London, so the human's gonna go with her there for a while. And she says that Dogman's niece will come and stay with us and feed us and cuddle us. And Dogman's niece feeled me when I was still just a wriggle in mummycat's tummy (if you actually believe that story), and then she came to see me when I was a teeny, tiny babycat before I even had my eyes open, and she's come and tickled me sometimes too, so I think I'll like her. And then the human will come back on Thursday night with her cousin. And I don't know if I'll like her cuz I don't know her, but she has a girlcat of her own, so maybe she'll be Ok. And then I get to show off at a show on Saturday! Isn't that all exciting!

Now I really can't think of no more. Byebye!


Father Tom said...

I like to get on shoulders on occasion, but my favorite spot is the back of Will's chair. That way I don't miss any conversation and I can tap into his thoughts, too, but don't tell him!

Love your description of planes and cars. Very funny!


Hannah and Lucy said...

We've never tried sitting on Mum's shoulders Millie but we think we might be too big!
We hope your Mum has a good time in London with her family visitor. and you do well when your are at the show next Saturday.
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

Eric and Flynn said...

I like to sit on my mum's shoulder and she calls me her parrot too. She says I am too big but she doesn't mind really. I don't jump up, I climb from her lap. We hope your mum has a lovely time in London. Good luck at the show.
Purrs Flynn

Andrea and the Celestial Kitties said...

Aw, I think having you for a parrot would be wonderful!
My Leo likes to hang over my shoulder and I call him my Leo Scarf!

The Chair Speaks said...

Wow, you have so many interesting stories to tell!

Katnip Lounge said...

Millie you are such a doll with your big round eyes and impressive whisker humps! The boys are gonna swoon over you when you turn one. We love your new nickname, we'd love to hear you chatting away high up on the mainsail...hee hee!

Repositório said...

Large bird that eats people and spits again ... I loved it!!

Kat and the Furrsonality gang said...

We love your parrot pic. Pandora likes to sit on mummy's shoulder all the time.