Apache, Revealed!

Ok peoples, apparently (aren't I clever for using big words like
that?) it's my turn to write acuz I'm the new one here and mummycat
says that I gotta write to tell you all who I am. But you already know
who I am acuz you saw me when I was a eeny weeny babycat, didn't you!
Anyway, my name's Apache. I know you know it already, but mummycat
says I gotta tell you my name else you'll not know who I am, and I do
what mummycat tells me to, well, I do when she's watchin' acuz if I
don't, she'll smack me for being a bad babycat.

I'll be 6 months old in 6 days, and that's big! I think I get to be a
girlcat when I'm 6 months old, right? When all my brothers and sisters
had chosen their new slaves to live with, the human told me I'd have
to choose too, but I'd already done it. The human is my person. I love
her and love her and love her some more. I give her lotsa kissies even
when she insults me by telling peoples I lick her like a dog. I
snuggle into her neck, I get in bed with her. I purpurpur so loudly
that my whole body shakes and then I gotta let my mouth fall open for
extra resinan thingy, sound, and the human loves it! I will choose her
lap over anybody else's acuz she's the nicest. I talk to her all the
time. I climb on her all the time. I even stop doing things when she
tells me to! So when the others went, I stayed here.

I was sad to see my stinky brothers and sisters go, but I just gotted
more attention when they left. Gabby is my bestest friend in the whole
wide universe! We get up to lotsa trouble, um, I mean good girl games,
together, and we play THoE all the time. We enjoy it more when we can
run over the top of the human and Dogman, but they don't like that so
much.

I like climbing up the human's leg too, but she always calls me "Ow
Apache!" and "get off you hooligan!" when I do that. I tried to climb
up the tea towel hanging from the cupboard door today to get to the
yummy foods that my human was making for us. She was feeding my
favourite. We all eat raw foods now, and we were getting vennison this
morning. Yum yum! It's my favrit one! I yelled and yelled and yelled
at her, but she just told me I'd have to wait! So I tried to climb up
to the worktop to get at the foods, but my favrit human just dumped me
back on the floor! She's so horrible! I barged grannycat and Gabby and
mummycat outta the way though to be first to eat, and I wouldn't let
them have a bit of the beef jerky either that the human gives us to
clean our toothies. i eated everyone's bit!

Grannycat likes me. Everybody says this is really unusual as grannycat
doesn't like anybody and won't share a lap or the human with anybody,
ever! But grannycat cuddles on the human and I get to cuddle too, and
I even lied on top of her the other day. And mummycat told me to look
out acuz I'd get the smackypaw of doom, but grannycat didn't do
anything! I like my grannycat. She's all warm and cuddly and soft and
she washes my head and she loves me lots.

And that's all I can think of for now, but I'll be back to write more
soon I think!

Lotsa love

Apache