Monday, 14 November 2011
Bits and pieces
Wel, friends, isn't it about time we wrote again? The human has been remis in her duties to us. She said something about new job, 12 hour days, tiredness, struggling to learn new things, no time, no energy, yada, yada, yada and other boring, unimportant stuff like that. But by now, we all know what she's like. Lazy. I'm considering putting her up for adoption, especially as last week was rescue week. Would anyone like to rescue a useless human? I'm afraid it's very clear that she's a pity case, and you'll need a lot of patience if you're going to take her on. On the plus side though, she uses the human litterbox faultlessly and never toilets inappropriately, she will give stinky goodness on a regular basis, she provides a self heating bed in the form of her lap whenever it's demanded, and she is adept at rubbing all the right spots to make your eyelids go droopy and your purr motor start up. I'm not sure if that's enough to outweigh the negatives though.
Millie: Mummycat, I'm not sure I want my favouritest human somebody to go up for adoption. That's when you go in a PTU and you don't come back again, right? Like what happened to my stinky brother Fatboy and my stinky brother Paws, right? I'd miss the human if she didn't come back, cuz I love her lots and lots and lots, and even Dogman isn't as good for scritches as she is. I love her so much that I rub rub rub all over her with my head until I fall over and I say purpurpur all the time even when I fall, cuz she tickles me the whole time and tells me what a pretty girlie I am. And I know she doesn't tell lies cuz I know I'm pretty cuz every people somebody says the same thing, and they can't all be lying. If I had another human somebody, I'd probly not be allowed to be eated by the bed thing and sleep in its belly where it's all nice and warm and there's lots of human to cuddle up to and you get tickles until you fall asleep. Mummycat, can we keep her?
Tia: Ah, kittens, so naive, so prepared to overlook the glaring flaws in character in favour of the nice bits. It's refreshing in a way. I'm still open to adoption offers though. As Millie mentioned, little Paws is now gone. To be honest with you, I'm quite relieved. It was high time he was out of here. I don't know about you others who've had kittens, but I got to a point where I just didn't have any patience for them any more. Admittedly, this was when I was searching for a new mancat, but Paws just didn't get the hint that I wanted to be left alone. Even after I'd finished my calling for my new boyfriend, I decided that it was high time for my babies to go off into the big wide world and seek their fortunes. It was with some relief that I listened to the human as she explained to Millie and I that Paws' new mum would be coming for him on Saturday. She, of course, was not filled with the same relief, and had a rotten case of leaky eye syndrome which is still a bit of a problem today. His new mum is really lovely though, and I heartily approved.
Millie: I didn't though, cuz even though he's stinky and a stupid cry baby, he's my stinky, stupid cry baby brother, and now that he's gone, I have nobody to beat up or clean or chase or play with. It's pretty lonely now. I haven't tried to find him like we did when stinky Fatboy went. I'm bigger and clev, clev, more smarter now and I know he's gone and he's not coming back. But I did cry a bit and I sticked to my human like a kitten to Da Bird, and I cuddled her lots and lots and we both cried together. And now I sleep a lot rather than playing, and my human says it makes her sad to see it. But it's just not as much fun when you don't have a stinky brother to steal toys from and beat until he screams like a silly little girlkitten and goes running to the human. I miss him. My human's looking into finding me a playmate though. She says she wants me to grow up with another kitten for company. Mummycat's boring. She hardly ever plays, and when she does, she's so much bigger than me that I never win. She plays a bit hard sometimes too, and so I really squeal when she bites me and then the human has to separate us.
Friends, I bit her hard because she had the audacity to try and get in a cube that I was already very much occupying! As you all know, I am queen of this house, and I'll not allow anyone, even my own children, to ever forget that! To be honest with you, although she has her moments, Millie is a pretty easy baby to live with. She lets me have my own space and is generally well behaved. Ok, perhaps generally is a bit of overkill. Let's go with she's not naughty absolutely all the time. She does need a playmate though, and we're still searching for another girlkitten to come and join us here in my house, so fingers crossed we find something soon!
Millie: We've got a real exciting week coming up, sept the first bit isn't so exciting cuz it means I'm gonna get put in the stinky wet bath again whether I wanna go in it or not, and I don't! The wet water feels icky, and I even smell icky when I come outta there! I know my human somebody says I smell real good, but she says I smell good enough to eat and that makes me a bit ascared, cuz she's a lot bigger'n me and she could probly eated me all up in one big bite. And the thing is, when she picks me up I can't get away if she doesn't wanna let me go, so if she wanted to eated me all up I don't think I could do anything about it. Do nice human somebodies eat babycats like me? Is that why she's putting me in the horrible bath? So that I'm all clean and ready for the eating? Heeeelp!
We gotta get clean though, cuz we have something real, real important on Saturday. It's that super duper important cat show that we ran a competition for a while back. I get to go with mummycat, and we both get to show all the people somebodies just how pretty and beautiful we are. I enjoyed the last one, and this one's even bigger so I think I'm gonna have a real good day out. And the human bought me new toys after the last one, and gave me real yummy stinky goodness. Do you think she'll do that again? I hope she does!
Tia: The human always buys us something nice when we go to shows, just to make up for the fact that it's a long day for us. I've heard a whisper about her buying us a new Catit track that has speed bumps in it and everything. How cool is that! I even play with those ones because they're a lot of fun. Apparently, the sections of this new one can be joined to our old one to make a massive track. I can bet that's going to be a lot of fun!
I think that's about all for now, except one last thing. We will be running a super duper competition on here next week, and it involves food! Lots of yummy food! And there will even be more than 1 winner! Interested? Then come back here next week to find out how you could get a very full belly.