Well, friends, all that exercise does leave a body quite thirsty! The human doesn't call it exercise though. She really laughs when she puts an s in front of that word, cuz she says that's what I was doing. She even calls it my dirty weekend. Honestly! There's nothing dirty about, about, well, about the things that I was doing that a good ladycat doesn't talk about!
As you might have gathered, I'm home! The human came and got me very late Monday night so I couldn't write then, and yesterday Blogger wouldn't let her upload posts for some reason, so I'm sorry you've had to wait. Oh, I've missed you all so, so much! And I see my human has been causing mischief on here while I've been away. I've lost a commenter through it and everything. I've scolded her soundly, but she's asked me to reitterate to all involved that she really wasn't seeking to offend anyone or belittle their concern for rescue cats. She apologises all over again if it came across like she was doing that. I gave her a thwap just in case she did, whether she meant to or not! I also thwapped her for another reason, but I'll come to that in a minute. Let me tell you all about what happened.
It started innocently enough, well, innocent if you discount my mischief making. Do you remember us mentioning how disinterested I'd been in mancats this year? Except all of you out there, of course. Well, the human was watching and watching for the signs, so I thought I'd have a little fun with her. I started holding my tail a wee bit to one side. I gave her elevator bum when she stroked me. I even talked more to her and rolled around. I'd fooled her, and the very next day, she put me in the stinky PTU and took me to the house of a mancat. Except that it wasn't just one mancat! My friend lived with two other boys. They each had their own little house inside a bigger one. The human says that it was a big house divided into separate cat runs, all done so that everyone could see and talk to each other for company but not fight, but I say that my mancat owned his own house. It sounds better that way, doesn't it?
At the time, I didn't regard this upstart as my mancat, but just another idiot who wasn't going to milk and tuna me before he had his way! Every time he came close I spat at him and chased him off. I even thwapped him! The human left me there for two days, but I wasn't having any of it, and now that I'd had my fun with her, I wasn't holding my tail to one side or sticking my bum up either. She came to get me.
Now, as many of you will know, mancats who still have their manbits are very, very stinky. They spray a lot so that we ladycats can smell where they are and know they're interested in us. There were three boys in that house, and although they each had their own houses, I could still smell their stink. When I was at the show the week before, I was penned between two mancats who also made a stink for me. All that smell got me to thinking. I could have my pick of five boys, even though the one the human had chosen for me was the nicest. Five were interested in me. Wouldn't it be fun to make the other two that lived with my mancat jealous? If I was interested in him, wouldn't it make the other two work harder to get me, only to be disappointed? That's the way it should be, of course. Cat fans are just as important as judge fans! So, I set to work. I had a good bath (of my own design, not the human's). I made sure that I was extra floofy. Then I waited until Thursday night when the human was already super tired and needed a sleep before I showed my interest. I did this by making my own wee stink. I'm not as ill mannered as a mancat, so I only did this in my box. This had little effect on the sleeping human other than to make her mutter something about cystitis and a trip to the vet peoples. That was the last thing I wanted, so I upped my game. About once every second, I jumped on the bed, woke the human by shouting at her, then walked right across her and jumped down again. I was expecting her to jump up straight away and get me back to that mancat who I wanted badly now, but she slept on! It was only the next morning that she realised I was all the way interested, and even then, she didn't do the honourable thing and get me back up there.
The human says that you should always wait until the second or third day of a ladycat's interest, cuz that's when it's at its peak and she's most likely to let a strange male do the business. She made me wait, but I was so frantic that she didn't get hardly a wink of slepe Friday night. I even kept Dogman awake, and he was in another room with the door closed! It paid off though. First thing Saturday morning, I was put back in the PTU and taken to see my mancat. I was so desperate to get there that I didn't even sing on the way, except to call for him, of course.
But friends, when I got back, I had to put on a show. No self respecting ladycat would go willingly to a mancat, as he'd think he'd caught her too easily. In order to be appreciated, you must make them chase you and work hard, hard, hard to get you. It keeps their interest. So when he started to talk to me and be nice, when he came for a sniff and to make friends, I spat full in his face, then went right past him into his house, ate his food and did my own smelly spray right over his in his box. I was telling him that I was boss, and he'd better remember! The people that he owns said that he's very quick to get girls, and that he was already pacing behind me just waiting for his chance. When I heard this, I turned round quicker than you can say catnip and thwapped him good!
Even after the human left I continued this behaviour. It was worrying his people, and she said she didn't think i'd ever manage to be caught, but I knew better. Later that evening, when he was practically begging me to make friends and the other two boys were drooling with jealousy, I went in the box just to make it mine again, and when I came out, I allowed him to catch me. I put up a fight just to keep up the facade. I pretended I didn't see him sneaking up behind me, and when he got me, I struggled. He's much bigger than me though, so even if I hadn't wanted to be caught, I'd have had a hard time getting away. I'd positioned myself so that the other boys could watch and go green with envy that their friend had got such a catch, and then I let him get on with it.
Well, all that posturing worked, let me tell you. To say he appreciated me would be a grosse understatement. I also don't mind admitting that I appreciated him too. I did so several times over the next few days, actually, so many that I lost count. At one point we were just doing it for the fun of it. The people that he owns told the human she didn't think we were doing it for real cuz I didn't scream or roll, two classic signs that mating has been successful, but I just lay there and enjoyed it for a full ten minutes while they talked on the phone. i'm not telling whether it was for real or not, but when we were done, we both washed up as though it were. The human's friends say that some of their cats never screamed either, so who knows! I just didn't want to waste energy on screaming that time. What's the point when I could save it for some more appreciation? I did scream quite a few times when he was finished, partly to make sure the human knew that there were successful matings, but mostly because that pig of a mancat was leaving me after he'd had his jollies when I wasn't ready for it to be done yet! On the bright side though, he didn't stay away for too long.
When the human came to get me, she said I'd lost weight, and the other people told her that was normal after all the exercise I'd been getting. I stuffed my face when I got home, but not before I thwapped that human. When she came to get me, I wasn't quite done with my fun. She'd asked the people to separate us earlier that morning. She says that if you allow cats to mate for more than two days, it makes prediction of the date of kittening very difficult and this could lead to dangers for me if babies are left inside for too long, or if they're removed too early due to mis-calculation. She didn't come for me until that evening, so all that day I could see my mancat, but couldn't get to him. I called and called. He called and called, but that heartless people wouldn't let us together. When the human came, she took my mancat out for a cuddle and to say thank you. She put him down on his bed, and I sprang at the chance. That was a bit I could get to, so I jumped up beside him. This was to see him and make a fuss of the human, who I actuallly kinda missed. He showed her just how much he loved me. he was washing my face and everything while the human cuddled us both. The people says I was one of his favourite girls. He usually gets bored and won't do any more exercise after two days exactly, but not so with me! In fact, the human says if she hadn't been quick, we'd have mated again while she was there!
So when she put me in that horrid PTU, when she took me out of his house and put me in the car, I was less than pleased. I huffed the whole way home with her. I wouldn't speak to her. I didn't even sleep with her that night. I thwapped her to tell her that I wanted my mancat back, but she wasn't having any of it.
But friends, romance is short lived. The next morning, I crawled up in her lap for a cuddle. Mancats might be for weekends, but humans are a lifelong responsibility, and I made sure to tell her that I forgave her. I've been snuggling her ever since, oh, and washing the mancat wee smell off me. Even though he didn't wee on me, just being in his home made my furr all stink! The human encourages this. She says she'll give me a bath, but not yet. Not for a few days until I'm totally comfortable at home again. She says she might not even do it if I wash up good, cuz she doesn't want to stress me at all while I might be carrying babies in my tummy.
To answer a question, I don't know yet, Clowder. It will take three weeks from the first day of mating before I show any signs, and even then, the human may not be able to tell, which will necessitate a trip to the vet. My nipples will get larger and turn a very rosey pink colour, and the hair around them will thin out a bit. The human says the waiting is killing her. I'm not bothered though. We cats know the merrits of living each day for itself, do we not? And on the bright side, if there aren't any babies there, I can go back and see my lovely mancat again!
I will keep you updated on any progress made, have no fear!
To end, I would like to extend my well wishes to Paula, and my sorrow at losing a dear friend, Sweet Praline
She was one of the sweetest friends on the CB. If you haven't already done so, please stop by and let her know how much she was loved. Me and the human know she will be happier now, in no more pain, but it doesn't make dicisions here on earth any easier. We both send Paula as much strength and love as we can muster... And that's a lot! Sweet Praline was a true tortie right to the end, spitting at the vet people as he helped her pass peacefully with the needle. What a show of tortitude! I am proud to share colours with her!
Until next time, friends. Remind your peoples where that tuna is!