Scratching for Love

Friends, I know it sounds a bit strange that you could possibly scratch your people and they would give you love, but you know what? It's true!




Do you remember ages and ages back that my human and I were training each other when it came to treats? I'd put my paws up on her leg and she'd give me a treat. Reciprocal training, and as it had benefit to me, I liked it! Well, ever since then I've been really comfortable at putting my paws on the human when we're cuddling, or padding on her arms or her tummy or, well, wherever my paws happen to be. Whenever I do this she makes silly love noises at me and sometimes even gives me the dreaded kissie torture, so I know she likes it. This week, I decided to try something new. Let me tell you a play-by-play of how I did it today.





The human was tap tapping away on the flat keyboard thing that makes the man in the computer box talk to her. I didn't like the fact that he was getting all the attention. After all, that spot should perpetually be mine! I walked over to her and sat down at her feet. No reaction. Well, that was silly of me, cuz I'd walked quietly so that my bell made hardly any noise, and with the chattering of that silly little man, she probably didn't hear it. I wondered what to do next. now that I might have babycats in my yummy tummy, I don't think I should actually have to go to the trouble of jumping up to get a cuddle. it might upset them! I thought about it, then I remembered what I used to do for treats. But I'd put my paws on her thigh cuz she'd kneel down so I could do it. Cuz she was sitting, her thigh was too high for me, but I thought it might work anyway.





I balanced myself on my shapely ladycat back legs, and I put my front paws on her shin. Then I scrabbled at her to get her attention. You know kinda like you would with a scratching post? Sept I did it with only the tips of my claws out, so instead of scratching her I was just about snagging her jeans. Well, I tell you what, that got her attention good and fast! She put down the keyboard, bent over and started giving me all sorts of rubs. I'm sad to say I even got the kissie nasty thing a few times too, although it was offset by all the snuggling. I took my paws off her straight away, but to my surprise, she reachd under my chest and put them back, so it must be ok to have them there. she made a big fuss of me while I was standing against her leg. She says she wants me to feel comfortable enough to climb all over her when I want a cuddle if she's not paying me attention, and I must say that after today, I think I'll try the scratchy thing again! It didn't go down so well when I scratched the carpet at her feet instead of her trousers though, cuz that time i had my claws right out. She put her hand on me, tapped my paws and told me no in a very, very firm voice that she doesn't use often with me. As a mark of how brave I'm etting, I didn't run away and hide, ahem, I mean protect my territory. Even a few months ago I wouldn't have been that brave. I did give her ahead bumpie to say I was sorry though, and I haven't scratched the carpet again sept for a tiny bit by my scratching post, and I stopped as soon as she told me to.,/p>




So, scratching can gain you a no if you do it on the carpet, but boy does it bring the good stuff when you do it on a human!





oh, and just in case you haven't seen it, the post belowthis one is my yummy tummy picture post! you should all go and have a look. My human remembers when that picture was taken and she says that she could have eaten my yummy tummy all up! Personally, I think she's been mixing with Mom Trish and he Admiral's Mom too much. Their ideas are starting to rub off on her! Let's just hope neither of them threaten to eat me too! If they do, I'm running for the hills!

I'm 4!

Friends, today's the big day, oh yes it is! you know why? Cuz I'm 4 today!


After the ordeal I went through on Wednesday, I didn't even know if I'd make it out alive to my fourth Birthday, and after the embarrassment of seeing that my pictures of shame were posted, I was sure I wasn't! But, as before, I stayed away from the light at the end of the tunnel, and went for the treats the human offered instead... They helped.


But, friends, what does not help is the selfish human. Am I having a party? Nope. Am I having nice things happen to me? Cuddles and oodles of treats and attention and love don't count, so my answer is, nope. Do you know what I'm getting instead? I'm getting horrible powder in my coat again in preparation for the show tomorrow, then a comb through, then my ears cleaned, then shoved in a horrid PTU for a car trip to the HG's house where we'll both stay tonight before heading off to the show. What happened to HAPPY birthday!


In my pictures, you'll see how I look on the morning of the show. I'm putting this here today cuz we're not gonna have time to post tomorrow, and I wanted to show you the results of the show bath. Hopefully, I'll be too busy winning!


You'll also see that I like my treats. Ok, so perhaps something good did happen today... I got loads of these! If any of you would like to sneaky over and help me celebrate in style before I have to go in the PTU for my trip, then you'd be most welcome. I'm sorry it's a poor spread, but I do have Party Mix which I'll share. Hah, if I party real hard, I might even have bed head when I wake up tomorrow morning, and then I can have the fun of watching the human scramble frantically to sort out my beautiful floof! Sounds good if you ask me.


Wow, this being 4 is hard work! I'm going to walk around like a little old ladycat today as though my joints ache and I'm tired. Hopefully that'll have the human feeling sorry enough for me that she breaks out the tuna! See you all soon, friends.

After my bath

Getting Treats!

Showing a Ladycat

Friends, today is a day of necessary evils that I put up with firstly because I know I have to, and secondly because it means that I end up looking like the most beautifulest ladycat I possibly can be. Yep, today is the day I get prepared for show, and it takes such a very, very long time! I know I've told you about this before, but I also know I have new friends now who may not have seen those mewsings. This time though, even if you've read about preparation before, there's something new! I've got lots and lots of pictures to show you! So, here goes.

The human always follows a similar routine for getting me ready for show, and it usually starts a week before the actual date. This time though, it's going to be only four days before, as I'm going to show on Saturday. Incidentally, if any of you are closish to London and want to come see me, then let me know and I'll tell you how! Sorry, I can't reveal where I will be on here, cuz if a judge read it, they would disqualify me for identifying myself to them before the show started. I know some of you live relatively close though, and I'd love to meet you!

Anyway, back to my story. The show preparation starts normally with a bath. This used to be a relatively simple process before the human learned more about what she should have been doing. It used to be only a quick suds up and rinse in baby shampoo, but now? Oh for the return of those simpler times!

She wets me down with a shower while I sit in the tub. When you're bathing somebody with as much hair as me, you gotta make sure you get right down to the undercoat, and this isn't an easy job! Unfortunately, this means that all the floofiness leaves my fur and leaves me looking a little, well, there's no other word for it, bedraggled. I'm sure you can see this from the picture. I also get very cold, so the human has to make sure the water is nice and hot and that the house is well heated and free from drafts before I go in there, as otherwise, I'll shiver.

once I'm wet, she needs to de-grease my coat. Even though I don't look greasy, there's grime and dirt in my floof that even my eye can't see! There are a number of different things you can use for this, and all it takes is an application and a rinse. The human won't tell you what it is, as we don't want this blog to turn into a product recommendation type place!

After this step, she applies an anti-fungal shampoo to me. The smell of this lingers right down deep, and prevents any nasties from deciding I'd be good to live on whilst I'm at the show. It's more a preventative than anything, but the human feels better knowing that I'm less likely to pick anything up. unfortunately, this has to be left on for ten minutes. This is the worst part of the bath. I don't get cold, cuz the human puts me in a horrid PTU right by the radiator with a towel over it to keep in the heat. it actually gets quite steamy in there! I complain all the while though, as I always do at even the sight of a PTU. I hate the things, Ok? They're my excuse to sing!
 
Once I come out of there, it's back in the bath for another quick rinse. And this is where the fun starts. Do you remember a few days ago I asked if you'd ever seen a purple ladycat? Well, you're just about to! The next shampoo my human uses is a colour enhancer. It doesn't dye my coat or anything, but it does make the colours more dazzling to the eye. It makes my ivory white whiter and gives my seal tortie face, feed and tail lots more tortitude! At least, that's my excuse for showing tortitude later on that day. This stuff is purple! See? Doesn't it look weird? I wonder if I'd get points for being the only purple cat at the show!   This stuff rinces off real easy, and so does the last shampoo the human uses, which is a texturiser. This gives my floof loads of extra volume, and when it's all dry, much more floofiness for the judge peoples to fuss over! It smells nice to the human too, but I have to say, I don't care about it one way or the other.

When I'm done cuddling, the human unwraps me and spreads the dry part of the towel on her lap. Then it's time for the drying and the combing. This is the only part of the bath that I show an active dislike for, and the human knows it. She says if she had more moneys she'd buy me a cabinet dryer which is like a PTU with gentle blasts of air that come out from all over, but they cost a lot, so we don't have one. Instead, I get to be dried by an uber powerful hair dryer with that all important cool air setting. This dryer is so powerful that it literally blows the water out of my fur. The human combs my coat forward when she's drying it, just to add a little extra volume. I often give her a bitey during this bit, but it's just to remind her who's boss when she's trying to dry my back legs and my lady bits! I can't have her thinking she can do that unchallenged!

Drying takes about half an hour, and by the time that's done, I am hopefully looking floofy and glorious! That aside though, there's only one thing for a ladycat to do after enduring all of that torture... Eat treats! These are some of the yummy ones sent by everyone at House of Cats, and I ate loads and loads of them! Can you tell how much I'm enjoying them? I have my human trained to always give me treats after a bath, cuz I deserve them! Well, I deserve them all the time! Do you hear me, human?

As you can see, a lot goes into making me look my best, and while it's a pain in the proverbial, I understand the necessity. Later this week, the human will put talc in my fur to make it extra big and floofy, and will clip my nails so that they are looking their best on the day of the show. On Friday, I will show you a picture of me all floofed up and ready to go.

I hope you enjoyed my bath more than I did! Happy Tuesday!

Saturday Stuff

Friends, I'm so ticked off that my human didn't write for me yesterday, cuz I had stuff to tell you. She says she wasn't up to it for ages, and then when she was, Dogman arrived as usual to stay with us for the weekend, so she had to talk to him. I say my mewsingsg are way more important than silly people talk, but she's so dumb that she won't even agree on that point! Let me tell you about my yesterday.





I ended up being on nurse duty for a lot of it. When she got up in the morning, the human said she'd be taking a trip to the human vet to have her ears sorted out. She said they were going to remove the wax build up by squirting lots of warm water into her ear so that it would get flushed out. I thought this was a pretty poor idea of having a good time, and she agreed. She says that it always is a massive struggle afterwards, cuz her hearing is so important to her, and that it's nasty and scary for her having it done. I offered to do some paw holding, but she says they don't allow cats into the human vet. how about that for double standards! Peoples are actually required to be with us at the cat vet! Unfair, unfair!





With the help of a friend, I managed to bundle her up in her human PTU, and then turned her security over to said friend to make sure she didn't escape on the way there. It must have been pretty awful, cuz when they brought her back, she was really wobbly and a bit white in the face. She said her ears were all funny, and when the friend had helped her back to the sofa, she didn't move for a long time. Friend said I was to cuddle her lots, and I did just that. I nursed her good!





A little while later, the door knocked, and the human dragged herself off to answer it. Guess what? it was my stuff from the auction that I bid on to help Shell! Let me start by saying thank you, thank you, thank you to the wonderful peoples that donated this stuff so that I could eventually end up with it, and help Shell in the process! I got a book all about babycats in their new homes which I will use to write up my advice for new kitten owners, and I also got the Harp of Hope CD. Now, let me tell you, this is something real, real special. When the human saw what it was, she packed herself straight off to bed to listen to it in the hopes her ears would feel better when she got up.





I haven't slept on the bed with the human for ages. Sure, I'll start off there for alittle while, but when she wakes in the morning, I'm usually out sleeping by my litter trays again. But when this CD went on, after about 20 minutes, I could stand it no longer, and crept up to cuddle the human. I've never slept so good in my life, and the human who normally doesn't have a hope of sleeping during the day slept for well over an hour! Her ears were still uncomfortable when she got up, but they'd gotten better a bit. What's more important to her though was the fact that we got some snuggle time on the bed. I don't really know why I'm hanging out so much by my smelly toilet trays, and why I'm only doing it at night instead of going to the comfy bed. I just do it.





The human had plans to scan in the book that we'd just been given so that the talking man in the computer box could read it to her, but she never did do it cuz a lot of shopping arrived just shortly after that. There was loads of peoples food, but was there anything for me? No! Not even cat treats! The human says I don't need any after the loads I got sent, but I simply don't agree with that. Every cat needs treats, don't they? And you can never have enough! All she got me was two bags of stinky litter for my boxes. As if that's exciting! I ask you!





By the time she had put all that away she was feeling pretty rough again, so went for another long sit down. Then Dogman arrived. He took the human for a walk, after making lots of fuss with me, of course. I advised him that fresh air might help clear her ears a bit, and even if it did nothing else, it'd take her out of my fur for a bit too. he agreed, and so off they went. I've never seen my human walk so slowly! Still, she says the outdoors did indeed help, and they ended up walking a few miles before they came back. She got to listen to the birdies as they went from full song into night time sleep, and she says that kind of thing is good for the soul. Good for the stomach, if you ask me, but hey, I'm not a people.





I spent all of last night keeping the human awake by playing with my toys, running around, and generally having a good time. Ah, it's good to be a cat! I was just punnishing her for not writing my blog, cuz there was something really special I wanted to tell you. Yesterday was my last Friday of being three years old. Yep, that's right, next Friday, only one day before I become a show cat again, is my Birthday and I will be four years old! I haven't decided what to do for my Birthday yet, and nor has the human. This is the first of my birthdays that she's been with me for. I can't go too mad cuz of my show the next day on accounta the fact that I gotta be well rested, so any ideas would be welcome. I'll be travelling to the HG's house that day too cuz we're staying over there the night before the show. Do you think she'll buy me lots of nice goodies cuz she'll see me on my Birthday? how do I make her do it! Should I throw a small house party? Help!





I plan to spend my last Saturday as a three-year-old napping to catch up on all the sleep I missed last night by keeping my human awake. She on the other hand, will have to stay awake. Did I mention it's good being a cat?





Update: I've just learned that miss Shell sadly left us to travel on to the rainbow bridge. I am sorry that it was her time to go. Please could you all send good thoughts to the ones she left behind? Shell, you will be missed so much. You fought so well for one who was so ill.





To read her story and leave your thoughts please Visit her blog.

Happy Birthday, Human!

It's finally here, oh yes it is! My human gets a year older today. I don't understand how she gets a year older overnight, but she does, and who am I to argue?




I've been thinking and thinking on what to get her as a present, but I'll admit, I was struggling. I ensure she's good to herself most days, so what do you buy the human who has everything? Ok, she says she wants a yacht, but I don't like the water, so poopooed that idea. A car? Well, she can't drive. A new house in the country with servants, a swimming pool in the garden and a fat bank balance? Well, the place she has in Oxfordshire is small, set near a park, gets puddles in the back garden and has a fat bill balance... Close enough for me.





Still, The Catnip Crew gave me a super idea for a present. They recommended I give her a sand-papery kiss. Now, this is something I give her on a reasonably regular basis, but she does seem to love them so. And when I say she's got everything, she doesn't have a sandpaper kiss, cuz you can't hold them or put them in your pocket, you see. Once they're given, they're gone.





Accordingly, I got her up super early this morning even though she hadn't had much sleep the night before. I crawled up to the top of the bed, snuggled down beside her, and decided that while I was grooming myself, I should include her. I tell you, her hand has never been so clean! She seemed to enjoy it though. Her face got that happy expression on it where the corners of the mouth turn up and stay that way. I think they call it a smile.





I think I might even allow her to give me treats today, just as an extra present. She's had no birthday cards in the post yet, and has no presents to open, but she's remaining cheerful. She was supposed to be going out for dinner tonight, but her friend cancelled on her at the last minute. I consoled her with the fact that sitting in and snuggling with me will be much better fun anyway. After all, her friends wouldn't play catch the mousie with her, so it would be boring! She says some cards will hopefully come today, but despite that, she's had something that's very much brightened up the start to her day. I will say no more for now, but if and when the time is right, I shall reveal a very special present the human got given. It made her do the smiley face again!





In other news, my walking jacket (doesn't that sound so posh?) was put in the post yesterday, so should be here tomorrow. Dogman is also coming up at the weekend, but isn't bringing Dogface. The human asked him to leave her behind, as it's still too hard for her to see her again just at the moment. He's coming to do a late birthday celebration with the human, and get this! He bought her a present, but it was for me! It's a new PTU, but this one is so posh that I might actually refuse to look at it as a PTU. It's a backpack that the human wears and I sit in to survey the world as we walk. It's all soft, so it won't have the nasty hard feel of PTUs, and it won't sway half as mush as we move, given that it's attached to the human and all. If I decide I like the walking jacket, we can even use the two in combinations so that I can go on long walks with the human and whoever happens to be with her at the time. This is something the human has been wanting for a long time, as she really struggles to carry a PTU in one hand and work a dog or a stick with the other. We can't wait to see what it's like!





Oh, we've just remembered, the human does have a present! It's from the HGG who gave her it when she was over at Christmas to take back with her and keep until today. We've also just had word that the HG, who is the HGG's daughter and the human's mummypeople, and the... Oh, what do I call him! He's an HG too, although he's the human grandad, father of my human. Hmmm, I spose I'll have to come up with a name for him when I meet him. Anyway, the pair of them sent the human a really posh slab of chocolate in the post. They say it'll get here on Saturday. Wow, quite a haul there, for me and her both!





I must go now. She's itching to open that present from the HGG. Before I do though,
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear human
Happy birthday tooooooooo yooooooooouuuuuuuuuuu

RandomSaturday

Ok, I confess to plagerism, as I got the idea for random days from Amy and the House of Cats
but it's just so fitting. The stuff I have to tell you today is all over the place. There's some happy, some sad, some exciting, some boring.





The boring bit is the human, of course. She did nothing today except lie in bed for ages and ages and ages and then do lots of washing in the noisy machine. We haven't even done a training session today, which means I haven't got my daily dose of a gazillion treats. What's happening with the world. It's all wrong!





Speaking of the Daily Dose brings me to my next bit of random news, and this bit is the sad bit. I've mentioned her many times, but I'll mention her again. Chrystal over at Daily Dose of Dogs and Cats runs a private animal rescue for dogs and cats. The cats there are well cared for and normally happy, except for one poor little soul.





Sparkles
is that poor unfortunate. She was one of a pair who were helped by Chrystal and her family a few months ago. Her brother, now known as Jimmy, has recently been adopted, and since that point, Sparkles has gotten lonelier and lonelier. She doesn't interact with the other cats, preferring to hiss and spit at them instead. But peoples? That's another matter. She loves them. She can't bear to be parted from them. In fact, even when Chrystal is nearby but unseen, Sparkles will scream for her until she comes close. If a people goes into the cat house, she stays glued to them, and won't even play with other toys, even new ones, in favour of their company. Through no fault of Chrystal's, Sparkles is desperately unhappy, and she needs a home urgently. KC of the Cat Blogosphere has agreed to help by funding air fair anywhere within the USA, so please, if you can offer this lost little lady a lap to curl up on and a people to call her own, don't waste any time. Contact her right away. Please, even if you can't adopt her yourself, go read the story and post on your blog about her or talk to others who might want a cat for a forever home.





We got our bowl too from our bid that we made in the auction to help out Chrystal. It is so, so beautiful. The human has placed it on her display table, despite my promptings that it would look just great filled with my ping pong balls. I think it's so nice that we bought crystal to help Chrystal. It makes it sort of special, you know? Jan, thank you so much for donating it. It is truly stunning, and so tactile for my human to get her fingers all over. You don't need working eyes to appreciate the beauty of it.





That reminds us to mention to Amy and the Random Felines that you shouldn't think I've forgotten about the exchange I promised on my 100th post. I'm sorry the human hasn't written to you both yet, but with this being her first week back at the work hunt, she's been too busy and exhausted to even order stuff, let alone post it. She says she'll email you when she's made some more headway on actually getting all of the toys. I'll tell you a secret though. She's gotten a few, and they're so good I've tried to steal them twice now! She says she doesn't know when she'll get the chance to order them. It's her birthday on Wednesday, so she'll probably get that over her first before she goes ahead and gets them. Guess I'd better start thinking about a present for her.





In other exciting news, we've been featured on another blog! Wyatt's Corner
wrote to me today, telling me that I'm featured on today's post in a cartoon! Thank you so much, Wyatt. That's super cool! The human says she's not sure if the cartoon is of us or if it's just a link to us. If we're in a cartoon, would someone with working eyes mind describing it to us in the comments? That would be super!





Now, the news just keeps getting more and more exciting! I've mentioned before that my human and I are hoping for kittens. Well, I'm not about to tell you I'm pregnant, but today, the human got approval for her prefix! This means now that any kittens I have will carry the human's cattery name with them wherever they go, and if they get shown, it will tell everyone just how beautiful my babies are, cuz they'll know they came from me and the human's cattery! Her prefix is Moonspun. If I carried that prefix, I'd now be called Moonspun Dolly Mixture as my pedigree name. I tell you that just to show you how the prefix slots in. This is big, big news, cuz every reputable, responsible breeder should have a prefix of their very own, and it took us 18 or so weeks to get ours approved and all the paperwork done!





Now for the most excitingest thing of all. you remember I hinted a few weeks back that I was going to have a celebrity guest on my blog? Well, I've finally managed to get her to agree, and she's taken on a regular place here at Cuddles and Catnip. From now on, she'll be doing the Sunday post, and it hasn't even cost me any treats in payment! She seems happy to do it, so it will be her instead of me tomorrow. Isn't that great? I'm not telling who she is, but I'll give you a clue. Regular readers of my blog will have been introduced to her in a round about fashion already! My human and I have talked about her.





Please do come back tomorrow to see who it is! It will be her first ever blog post, so I hope it goes well for her.





Wow, that was a lot of news. I feel so much better now it's all off my chest. While I go for a nap to work up enough strength to hassle for treats, I'll leave you to remember Sparkles. Let's use the power of the blogosphere to get this unhappy little ladycat a home. Come on. We can do it together!

Human Vs Cat

Friends, I feel the need to begin this post with an apology. As you are no doubt aware, i normally attempt to stay pretty philosophical and even tempered and toleratn (and all the rest of that jazz) over my human's various stupidities and lacks and general shortcomings. I have frequently said that they aren't her fault, that I mustn't judge her harshly because she has a small brain and does the best she can, that I need to remember to cut her some slack. But this morning, she did something so ridiculous that I didn't even have the capacity to be truly mad at her. I ended up laughing, which really isn't a kind thing to do, bearing in mind that, with her capacity, she's making the best that she can. That being said, what she did do, as well as displaying ape-like intelligence, is give me food for thought, and I don't mean the stinky goodness kind. Allow me to elaborate.




As I mentioned yesterday, the human has started this ritual, a very pleasant one actually, of sprinkling some yummy treats on my new blanket before she leaves for the work hunt. This has met with nothing but favour on my part, for why complain about free food, and nice food at that. Now, my motto is, if it ain't broke, don't fix it, but in my eight months of training, I haven't managed to get that across to the human yet. Accordingly, she decided to fix it.





When I want something badly from her, or when I simply want a snuggle when she's come in from work and decides to head straight to the litterbox room instead of to my sofa for cuddle time, I will follow her, then, when she stays still, put my two front paws up on her knee and wait. I know this melts her insides to mushies which is why I do it, cuz she can't refuse me anything after that. Regardless of whether she's on that litterbox or not, I get my own way! The human decided she wanted to encourage me to do it more, although in a, by her standards, more appropriate place and at a more appropriate time. I've mentioned my background to you previously, so you'll understand it when I say that, when I've done it, I've been a little timid about it. It was a new thing for me. In order to minimise the timidity, the human formulated a plan.





This morning, instead of simply giving me the treats, she crouched on the floor and held one in her hand just above her leg. Because she was crouched, the leg provided a flat platform kind of thing, but still, I wasn't going to climb for a treat. I waited. I've done this before, and I always manage to wait her out. It semi worked this time, cuz she lowered her hand down to me, but kept it close to her knee, so that I had to come forward a few steps to get the morsel. Oh, and how good it was! She picked up another one, and this time, her hand went a little higher so that I had to stand right up on my tippy-toes and push in against her knee to get it. The third one went right back above her leg. I wasn't jumping. I've told you, I don't work for treats. I waited, but nothing happened other than that she started to coo at me to come up. I ignored her, and instead turned my attention to the box of treats open on the floor. But friends, I hadn't even got my nose into it before she whisked that away to the heights too! I still wasn't worried at this point. I could still wait her out.





Except that I couldn't. For an eternity that lasted a full minute, my nose twitched and the treat called. So did the human. Eventually, I hopped up with my two front paws on her knee really quickly, grabbed the treat and jumped back down again. Oh, it was so good! She picked up another one, and again I waited, and again she waited, and another eternity of thirty seconds passed! Do you know how hungry and near to starvation you can get in thirty seconds? I was seeing pink mousies and everything! But the call of the treat was too strong, and up I hopped.





Ten treats later, and the human was having to tell me to get off so that she could teach me to put my paws on her for a treat. This was fun. Without knowing it (and that pains me to admit), I'd trained her to give me treats on demand, and all I had to do was put my two front paws on her leg. how simple! As she stood up from giving me the final food, she said in a self-satisfied voice, "Well, that was a good first training session." Well, it's unlike her to admit I'm training her, so I was surprised but gratified, that is, until she continued. "I'm really making headway with her." um, what? Lady, you ain't making nothing with me sept more treat time!





The concept that the human thinks she's training me when I'm actually training her is so ridiculous that, even now when I think of it hours later, I am forced to shake my head in amazement, then wipe a grin off my furry face at the very idea. Humans are so simple, bless them.





We had a repeat of the training session when she came home from the work hunt, and again she mentioned that she was doing well. In the midst of my laughter though, I began to think. To think really about reciprocal cause and effect. I put my paws on her leg because I know she likes it and that will subsequently generate a treat, so, in essence, I put my paws on her leg because I like the treats. She, on the other hand, gives me a treat because she wants my paws on her leg because she likes the feeling. So, in essence, she provides the treat in return for something she likes. What that boils down to is this. I give her something she likes in return for something I like and vice versa.





Training is all about cause and effect, in essence, you do something to get something, or you do something to receive pleasure. Even stupid Dogfaces understand this concept, so it's in-arguable really. Now, if you apply that definition to the last paragraph of what I said, well, friends, it provides a frankly terrifying conclusion. We are training each other, and what's worse, we are doing it in a mutually pleasant, mutually beneficial way.





The thought of the human having influence over me is very unsettling, and yet, that then begs another question. Should it be brought to a brutal end? Should I cease doing what she wants in order to get what I want? I tried that today, namely the waiting game, and it didn't work. So in essence, do I deprive myself of a good thing just so that I can be content that I am not being trained? There hardly seems any point. This exercise provides benefit, not hardship, whereas to refuse to participate gets me nothing but terrible deprivation. And still there is the looming, and even larger question to be answered. If I allow myself to be trained in this way, will I do so with other things? Will the human be resourceful enough to always provide me with a benefit for doing what she wants, and more importantly, will I feel that this benefit is one I do not wish to go without?





I have no answers. I need help.

Secret Paws!

Well, it finally arrived! Actually, it arrived some time ago, but it was so special that I instructed my human to wait to post about it until we had a whole post to devote. I've had quite a few toys this last few weeks, but none that compare to the variety sent by Hannah and Lucy. Ladies, thank you, thank you, thank you! The human thanks your people too. She actually tried to steal one of the things in the box for herself (more on that in a moment) but I wasn't having any of it. She got presents from other peoples, so she was just being greedy!




The Secret Paws was waiting for us when we got home from staying at Dogman's house. The human was going to make me wait some more to open it, but I hassled her until she gave in. I knew it would be good for her to watch me play, you see, cuz she was feeling pretty miserable about Dogface not being with us. This was her first night in her new home without us, you see.





The box was all wrapped up in tough brown paper to stop the post peoples from getting into it. It was really thoughtful of you, Hannah and Lucy, to instruct your people to do this, cuz if the post peoples had been able to see the goodies inside, they'd certainly have stolen them for themselves before I got a chance at them! I had to ask the human to open that bit, cuz I didn't want to bite it with my teeth. Under the brown paper was some lovely wrapping paper and a Christmas card. We don't know what the card said, but the human has put it up, even though it's not Christmas any more! I thought about ripping the wrapping paper, but then remembered that I keep this human around for a reason. I sat back and watched while she pulled it off.





There was a box underneath, and boy did it have some interesting smells! I'm sure that I sniffed Hannah and Lucy on it, cuz I spent ages and ages and ages inspecting before the human was finally allowed to take the sticky tape off (I love biting this, by the way, and had great fun!) and show me what was inside.





It started with a big, soft, plushy, cuddly thing. It was an animal with a long tail, and my human thinks it might be a cat! He was fun to bunny kick, and his tail was great for swatting. He has a crackly tail and ears too, which is great! The human says she'd like him on her bed to snuggle with, but I reminded her that's what my job was. Hannah and Lucy, was it a cat? I don't care anyway, he's a good wrasslin partner!





There was next a flat, folded thing in the box, which my human didn't open straight away. Why? Cuz as she lifted it, I saw what was underneath, and I wasn't waiting for no flat thing. There were ping pong balls in there! A gajillion of them! And even more than a gajillion! They were all in little packets in the box, and I wanted them so bad! My human usually gives me one at a timej, which I promptly lose, ahem, I mean hide, under the TV cabinet or the sofa, but today, she gave me all gajillion cuz I asked so hard. The human says there were eight in total, but honestly, there were loads. I just didn't know what way to run! And there was still the call of the box!





There were more goodies in there, oh yes there were. Next came a packet of three mousies. They were all made of rope which is great for scratching, and they had long tails to bite while you kicked them, and they rattled, and, and, and, they smelled of catnip! And there were three of them! So now I had eight ping pong balls and three mousies and a cuddly cat wrasslin bud, and there was still more! I didn't know what to play with! I batted one mousey, then threw another one, then pounced on a ball which ran away from me, then whapped another one right into my human's leg!





Then I heard it, the rustle, the crackle, the snap of a treat bag being opened. Only one type of treat in the world makes that noise, and I knew it well. Dreamies! They're sooooo good. They're little hard squares that have a soft filling. you can get cheese and chicken and fish and beef and one other I think. Yet again, Hannah and Lucy had outdone themselves, cuz I didn't just get one bag. I got two! Two whole bags, just for me! and the human had instructions that she wasn't allowed to withhold them, so she fed me from both packets until I didn't want any more. Friends, that takes some doing. Have I mentioned that I love Dreamies? Cuz I do. I don't know what flavours these were, but they were sooooo good! I even had to lick up all the crumbs from my human's hand just to make sure I didn't waste a single bit.





But there was still more! you remember that flat thing? When the human opened it, it turned out to be a blanket all for me! I've never had a blanket before. My human got me a few beds and things, but I didn't use them at all. It's more fun to fur up the sofa than to lie in your own bed you see, but this blanket is special. It's denim type stuff on one side, but if you flip it over, it's the softest, plushiest stuff on the other. As soon as the human felt it, she begged me to let her have it for her own, but I wasn't giving in. I permitted her to put it on the sofa beside where she sits, where I usually lie, so that she could touch it while she stroked me. This she reluctantly did, and since that day, it's become a regular routine that I get treats on there. She sprinkles some of the Dreamies all over it before she goes off to the work hunt. Oh, it's so great! I even lay on it twice, and that's saying something for me! The human really, really loves the plush material. She says she wishes she knew what it was, cuz she'd make a big blanket from it.





Hannah and Lucy, thank you over, and over and over again for all of the goodies you sent me. They were simply amazing, beyond what I was expecting. I couldn't even tell you what my favourite thing is, cuz they're all my favourites! They're all still out on the floor, and my human is still stepping on those gajillion balls, but it's such good fun to have them all out! thank you, thank you, thank you!





There are even more toys to tell about from a different source too, plus a delivery from Chrystal's auction, but those can wait till tomorrow, or maybe later this week, as we have other things to tell you. Oh, Secret Paws, I love you!