Apologies

Friends, my human is slacking again and I don't know what to do about it. Over the last few months I've tried various methods to keep her writing, but none of them work consistently. Cuddling might make her feel like writing one month, then not work even a few days later. The firm paw of guidance whips her into shape occasionally, but at other times all it gets me is a rather abrupt removal from her person with a strong admonition not to do it again. I'm starting to wonder if it's time for me to do another poo on the sofa, just to get my point across, you know? But then I can't help but remember the prison she put me in last time. What to do!


The frustration of the thing is that the human always has an excuse to explain why she hasn't been writing for me, but the thing is, that's exactly what they are, excuses! When you get right down to it, she's disorganised and fills her time with meaningless things like laundry, house cleaning, cooking for herself, going to the work hunt. Ok, that latter isn't a total waste of time. It does provide the means for getting me foods, but really, does it take eight hours to catch foods? That's one mighty inefficient way of hunting! It only takes me five minutes to catch a toy mousey.


Speaking of toys, I got to open my Secret Paws when I got home! Thank you so much, Hannah and Lucy. The present was so special that I'm going to devote a whole post to it when I can whip this lazy human butt into shape, so you're all going to have to wait just a little bit longer for the grand reveal! Let me just say though, it's fabulous and I love them all!


Dogface has really gone now. I have to confess, I still can't really believe it's true, and neither can the human. She keeps getting up and half going to the door to take her out for a pee before remembering she's gone. It's also funny to watch her walk towards the kitchen. Dogface's bed was on the wall next to the kitchen door, and even though it's not there now, the human's so used to stepping round it that she still does it. So she avoids this giant patch of blank floor. She says that when your eyes don't work, your feet programme themselves into routes so you don't have to feel with them all the time to make sure you're not gonna step on things. She says she'll eventually reprogramme herself to remember the bed isn't there, but it'll take a while. That made me think, it must be quite difficult to have broken eyes. I mean, I just look at the floor and know I can stand there and I won't step on Dogface cuz she's not there. No wonder it takes her eight hours to catch food. I guess I shouldn't be so hard on her, eh? I mean, if she had a good sense of smell, hunting with broken eyes would still be relatively easy, but peoples smell is pathetic.


So, me and the human are still adjusting to the absence of Dogface. The human had a friend over last night. I've spoken about her before. She brought the tiny puppy Dogface called Alice, and her guide dogface Jack, but she really came to keep the human company and stop her thinking about the fact that there was a blank patch of floor instead of Dogface on her bed. There was a problem though. Alice wasn't smaller than me any more! And what's more, she was far too interested in me for my liking.


Now, I've told you before that I never show fear. I'm a brave ladycat, I am. In true warrior fashion, I took up post right in the corner beside my litterbox, then didn't move. corners can be dangerous places, and this one needed defending! When the Alice Dogface came for a sniff, I stood my furrs up and hissed at her and I even growled. It was all fighting though. I promise you, none of it was cuz I was scared of her cuz she's bigger than me now. And when the human had to shut them out so that she could coax me to come to her to be lifted to safety? Ahem, I mean to a high vantage point on her shoulder. you can defend better from up there, I decided. Well, I only made her shut them out so that I could leave the corner and be assured it wouldn't be attacked in my absence. I was thinking of our safety.


She put me up on the ironing board then, a place I'm not normally allowed to go, but from there I can step either to the back of the sofa or to the massage couch and then from there jump into the kitchen. It's up high too, so she thought I'd feel less threatened up there. Really, I instigated it. Now I could protect lots of places at once! I stayed up there till she came and got me and put me on... Ah, but that would be telling, wouldn't it? She put me on something we got from the Secret Paws on the sofa, and there I stayed for ages, till I felt like it was time to defend my box again. Alice was showing an unhealthy interest in it. The good, brave human kept pushing her head out of it, but I didn't like the fact that a Dogface was so close to my box!


It gets worse though. They stayed over! I went to bed with the human and she shut the door so that they couldn't get in, but I could still hear them! Jack is Ok. Even though he chased me at first, he's settled now and is more like our Dogface that lived here. He just lies down and watches me. I don't mind him close to the box cuz he doesn't try and get in it, and he doesn't hassle me when I walk near him. He just needs to learn not to watch me now and I'll be happy.


The human got leaky eyes today when she had to go to the work hunt alone. I offered to come with her. I told her I'd even let her put on my harness without a fuss and I'd be her guide cat, but she didn't think the hospital would let me in, so I stayed behind and slept all day. She took her stick with her and used that to get to work and back again. She says it was hard, and that she feels like she's walking much slower without a Dogface to help her, but her PA says she's not that much slower. She only got lost a little bit once, so she's doing well! I'm cheering her on all the way, cuz she now needs to really build her confidence up. Poor human. Everything's very frightening and sad for her right now. No Dogface, a house move and a new job ahead, new environments to learn at work both here and in the new job, new PAs to find... It's all change for her.


Karen, you asked if Dogman was going to keep Dogface, and the answer is yes. Guide Dogs agreed and signed all the paperwork. They gave her to him on a two week trial. It's a formality they have to stick to just in case something goes terribly wrong, but they all know it won't. As soon as that's signed off, she belongs to him! He's happy and Dogface is happy, so the human is too, or as happy as she can be.


So that's life for us at the moment. My efforts over the next few months will be devoted to helping the human boost her confidence, and forcing her to do new, and for her, scary, things. I have two agendas for doing this. Firstly, it means that I will have a happier, healthier, and infinitely more trainable human if she's not worrying all the time. Secondly, if I rehab her well enough, she may never need to get another Dogface! Now who in their right mind would pass up an opportunity like that!