Millie Monday

Hihihihihihihi! Hi, hi, hi! I don't really know who I'm sayin hi to, cuz I can't see nobody, and the talky thing that my mummycat says is called Computer doesn't look like a nobody neither cuz nobodies aren't square and they don't have leads coming from them and they don't not move. Nobodies, ah, scuse me, my mummycat says they're somebodies, not nobodies, are warm and they move and if they're mummycats then they talk to you and clean you and sometimes give you milk and smack you when you're bad (I don't like that bit). And if they're people somebodies then they make strange noises at you and you can climb on the flat places they call shoulders and you can attack their nose things or their hair if they have any, cuz some people somebodies don't, you know. The one who's here all the time, The Human, has loads of it, and sometimes when I attack it I get stuck in it and need help to untangle myself, but her friend, the other people somebody, doesn't have any hair at all and if I attack where his hair should be he gets cross, at least, I think that's what he is when he makes the ouch that hurts noise, cus he pulls me off his head then and spoils all my fun.

Oh, I'm Millie, by the way, or at least, that's what the people somebodies have decided to call me. I kinda like it. Do you?

Introducing...Millie!

I find other fun though. I love my crinkle balls that mummycat says were hers from another somebody called Amy and her cats. Are all cats mummycats? I don't know. But anyway, I chase them everywhere, and I steal pipe cleaners and carry them in my mouth, and I sometimes hide them in the litter tray, but then the human spoils the game and throws them away cuz she says they're dirty but I don't think so. I'm learning to jump real high too. I jump right up in the air to catch the flying feathers that sometimes come out when the human is around, and I jump on people somebodies when I want them to pick me up so that I can get on their shoulders. The other morning, I jumped so high that I landed right at the top of the man people's (the one that has no hair) leg . He musta been really pleased, cuz he made the funniest gasp, then a sort of half squeal, then picked me up real, real quick and said to the human somebody, "Holy crap. That was too close for comfort!" I tried to tell him that it wasn't. I was quite comfortable now, thank you very much, and he shouldn't worry cuz I jump real good and I always remember to put my claws out to grip, and he only had on thin trousers anyway so I'd have got his skin if they ripped, so he shouldn't be afraid of me falling. Do you think he was?


Oh, I love, love, love the human somebody, perhaps even better than my mummycat although I don't know yet cuz the human doesn't clean me sept with stinky, nasty wet water like she did today, and mummycat's cleaning feels much nicer, and the human doesn't give me milk but sometimes mummycat does. But the human doesn't smack me either if I'm naughty, and mummycat smacks me all the time if I bite her tail or if I chase her or if I want a drink when she doesn't wanna give me one or if I don't do what I'm told. She's sooooo boring! Anyway, we got to go into a new room yesterday, my brothers and me, and we'd never been there before. And the stuff on the floor, carpet, mummycat says, was real, real soft so that your paws sink right in when you walk, and you make no noise when you jump, and it smelled different. And there was a big soft thing up high in the middle that the human called bed. It was real hard to climb up on, but the human put a tall scratchy post beside it and I'm real, real good at climbing. So if I climbed to the top and then gotted real, real brave and did a best jump ever across the space in between the top of the scratchy post and the bed thing, then I could be on there and look down and wait for my brothers to walk by below and then jump off the bed thing and onto their backs. Oh, I love, love, love that game, specially cuz they never see me coming!

I love to play!

It's hard work though, climbing and doing the best jump ever and being afraid in case you fall down when you do it, so one time I just went to the human to see what she was doing. The bed thing had mostly eated her, cuz I could only find her head sticking out from the stuff that covered it, so I went to lie by her head cuz I didn't want her to be eated. I'd miss her and have nobody to follow and have no more shoulders to sit on. She was making funny noises too, sorta like something my mummycat calls sleep noises, so I cuddled in real close against her neck and thinked that I could stop the bed thing from making her eated all up. And then it musta worked, cuz she stopped making the sleep noises and she moved and then the bed thing sicked up one of her arms cuz it wriggled out from under and came and tickled my tummy and then she said that I was real cute and that she loved me lots. She told me she's always wanted a cat to come sleep all snuggly with her, and that made me feel good. But then the bed eated her arm again and the sleep noises came back, so I stayed on her pillow and when she moved I moved too and snuggled in real, real tight, as tight as I could. And I didn't even attack her hair or anything!

The bed thing sicked all of her up when the bright thing in the sky called a sun came out from hiding, and that was good, and I was happy. So I climbed onto her shoulder thing and helped her make my breakfast which I eated lots of cuz she says I need to eat more so that I get big and strong like my brothers. I don't need to be though. When you're small, you can bite their bums and run away before they know it was you. Hahahahaha! Woops, mummycat heard me say that. Gotta go!


Human note: The Katnip mommy will put some pictures of little Millie up for me soon, I think, so check back to see what miss naughty looks like this week!