Almost a Century!

Isn't that old? I think so. That's almost the age of my human. Ah, ignore the indignant noise she's making. Truth hurts! Seriously though, we are almost a century of sorts. Tomorrow will be our 100th post! isn't that crazy! Seems only like yesterday that I started blogging to you all, and now, here we are. I do plan to celebrate my nice round number of posts in two ways, but I'll talk to you all about that tomorrow, or whenever I make the big post.


Today, I don't really have much to report. I've been snoopervising Dogman and keeping Dogface in her place. I'm a bit worried about her, actually. I mean, what's going to happen when I leave? I'm not being condescending or anything, but Dogface's brain is so small that I fear she'll forget that place as soon as I hightail my furry little butt out the door. What's to be done about it? I feel for her, and want her to be able to remember her place in the world, but I also have a human to keep under the paw, and I can't do that whilst snoopervising Dogface in her new home. My responsibility has to end somewhere, but it's hard to just let go when you've owned something as long as I have. I mean, you might think that seven months isn't a terribly long time, but it is when you've spent most of it in training them. They've come a long way, the Dogface and the human. Dogface has learned to wait while I drink her water, and to jump off her bed as though someone had lit a fire under her tail if I show even the slightest inclination that I wish to lie there. I never do, by the way. I just stroll across it, then go do something else. I mean, why would I want to lie in Dogface smell!


As for the human, she's learned that a lap is for lying in, and should remain still and available at all times when I require it. She's learned to feed me stinky goodness on a daily basis, and has all but given up on feeding me silly things like people chicken. no matter how good it smells, I ain't touching it! She's not perfect, but they're both so much better than they were. So, you see, it's hard to stop feeling responsible for them when I've been working hard for the last few months and especially because I've been seeing results. I've started Dogman's lessons too, and he's picking up a few things. He's an abysmally slow study though. I mean, he hasn't even learned that a miaow means "scratch me now! No matter what you're doing!" That's fundamental. Ah well. I suppose the human was this slow once.


We're also super glad to report that our Secret Paws package has arrived! We can now reveal that our partner was Ginger Jasper! So sorry that we can't put a link, but the human can't visit the blog to get one. Every time she tries, the little man in the laptop box has a super grump and goes very quiet and won't say a word. he gets so mad that he won't even let the human close the blog window. So he won't read and he wont' close it. The human says this is what happens when the computer freezes. She says it's very frustrating, and I agree! We've seen Jasper's post on the Secret Paws blog, but I want to see what he wrote on his own one! Silly computer man, stop being mad! Anyway, we're so glad you like what we sent you, Jasper, and it's so super cool that we live near each other! If you ever need to hang out with a refined ladycat, you just let me know, Ok? This makes me even more excited to see what is in my own Secret Paws gift. I can't wait to get back and open it!


We also wanted to say a huge thank you to those of you who regularly comment on the blog, despite the fact that the human rarely gets to visit you. It means a lot that you keep coming back day after day after day in spite of the fact that we don't always leave messages on your blogs. I can't tell you what a happy feeling it brings to us to see what you all have to say. There really aren't words. Know that they mean perhaps more than you realise. Head bumps to you all!


The human has had an interesting time with her family. She's enjoying seeing them all, but she says that she misses her own home now and wants to get back. She's a fickle old thing, my human, cuz when she does get back, I know she's going to say that she misses the family and wishes she could be at home again. She's loving all the time with the young peoplekittens though. They've been extra special cuddly with her this time. One of the older ones who doesn't usually cuddle at all "because big boys don't snuggle, silly!" spent most of Christmas on her knee with his cheek against hers while they watched TV. The little peoplekitten that said she wouldn't open any gifts till the human got here kisses her every time she sees her, and her little brother was so desperate to sit on the human that he sat on top of his sister who was sitting on top of the human. It was a pile up! I can understand the desire though. If my human gets one thing right it's how to cuddle. She's just warm and squishy and soft and snuggly in all the right places. Those peoplekittens obviously have good sense! She even managed to get a couple of minutes of tentative purring out of Phoebe, but hasn't managed to replicate it again yet.


Speaking of that baby, she says hi to Gus and Stella, Amy's kittens. She wants to know if they can come play with her and show her how to climb the tree. I'm in the process of explaining about distances to her and how far they are away from her, but she's still young and doesn't get it at all. Santa Paws didn't bring her anything new for christmas, but the human kind of understands why now. She brought her a toy when she saw her yesterday (one of my mousies actually, that I sneakied into her suitcase to keep her company in Ireland and watch over her clothes and things), but as soon as he went on the floor, Pepper stole him! She defended him vigorously, so poor Phoebe didn't have a chance. The peoplekittens say the same thing happens with treats, and they're silly enough to refuse to lock the dog out while the poor baby gets her presents. Oh well. I guess lots of cats don't have many toys and cope just fine. Not me though, nuh uh! I have need of a Kazba Kitten parcel and a Secret Paws gift. Roll on homecoming!

She's Got Some Splaining to Do!

Oh yes she does, friends. The human, that is. Earlier today I was informed by a reliable source that another cat had been writing on my blog, and that my human had been fratternising with it. The latter I believe. She's difficult like that, and no amount of training will teach her otherwise, but the former? Surely not. As soon as Dogman turned his back, I had a quick peak, and couldn't believe my eyes! Who does this Phoebe think she is! What's going on here! Why is my human cuddling another kitten! I was so angry that when Dogman and she were talking on the phone, I miaowed very, very loudly and told her off repeatedly. Dogman was surprised at the amount of noise I was making. Just as well he doesn't understand felinese, cuz I confess that some of the language I was using was far from ladylike. You know what though? I don't care, and I'm not ashamed of it. That human needs putting in her place.




Once I was done telling her exactly what I thought of her, I found that my anger was manageable. I went back and re-read what the kitten had written, and my heart softened as my claws retracted instead of scrabbing. She sounds so lost, so misguided, so, well, kittenish. I have a soft spot for kittens. I can't help it. They're just so defenceless and impressionable. I decided that instead of shouting at her for stealing my blog as she deserves, I'd tell her rescue story instead, cuz she was a rescue you know.





Tori, Phoebe is not my human's new kitten, no. We did say we were getting one a few months ago, but unfortunately, it turned out that that baby wasn't the right way to be shown. So we're still waiting. no, this kitten owns the human's auntie people and her three kittens. The peoplekittens are quite old kittens now, but you know, they do stay babies for such an awfully long time. Anyway, Phoebe began life as one of a group of kittens in a feral colony. Mummycat was being fed by the auntie cuz she could tell that she was nursing and she wanted to help her. Phoebe and her siblings were born just as it was starting to get cold here, so mummycat could do with all the help she could get.





For about four or five weeks, everything was fine. Mummycat fed the babies and the babies followed mummycat everywhere. But then the peoples noticed that one little cat wasn't following so good. Mummycat was a very good mummycat though, and kept coming back for it and picking it up to take with her. But the peoples could see that the kitten wasn't well. They phoned my human and told her that the kittens eyes were gummed shut so bad that she couldn't see, and that she seemed sniffly and lethargic. When the human said that it was cat flu and would most likely kill her through her being cold or mummycat struggling too much and leaving her behind or her own immune system not being strong enough yet to fight it off, the peoples, particularly the oldest peoplekitten, got very upset. The human advised them on the best way to separate the kitten from mummycat and trap it with the minimum amount of distress.





It wasn't hard to do. The baby was so sick that she didn't even try to run away. When they took her inside, she was so scared, but too weak to run. The human told the mummypeople of the peoplekittens, her auntie, how to make up a saline solution and then how to safely bathe the baby's eyes to give her some temporary relief before they took her to the vet.





Now you know that I go back and forth on whether or not I like vets, but whether I love 'em or hate 'em, the fact remains that occasionally, they have their uses. This was one of those cases. They helped the auntie clean phoebe up good. She had fleas, she had worms, she had flu, she was too small to eat propperly just yet, and the auntie didn't have the money for any of it. The vet was so nice that he said the only thing they had to pay for was the eye drops for her eyes, and they had to promise to bring her back for her vaccinations. Super vet!





They took the kitten home. They got fleas, but they still didn't care. They just cleaned them out of where they landed, and kept cleaning the kitten. That's when she got named Phoebe. The oldest peoplekitten watches the TV show Friends, and on there, a people named Phoebe sings a song that goes, "Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you". Now normally I'd take offence to this. After all, it's not terribly flattering to be named for a smelly cat. But the thing is, she was smelly back then, and anyway, Phoebe is the peoplekitten's favourite character, so it's kinda Ok. So Phoebe was her name, and it stuck.





The original plan was to clean her up, then put her back with the mummycat, but that lasted all of about two seconds. The human also mentioned the high mortality rate in feral colonies from things like FIV, and as soon as they heard that, they decided, well, the oldest peoplekitten decided, that they were keeping her as a housecat. They had no experience of cats at all, let alone tiny kittens, but somehow they managed to get her eating, and sort of pooping in her litterbox. I say sort of cuz she prefers to go on the floor right nearby. They didn't heed any of the human's advice on fixing the problem though, so she still does it. She's about three months old now, and is reasonably well adjusted. She's still not too sure about peoples, but that's more to do with the environment she lives in rather than her routes, we suspect. It's a very noisy and fast-paced household. Goodness, even I wouldn't be a huge people cat in that sort of house, and I love peoples! We have hope that she'll get better though.





So, that's Phoebe's story. This little kitten has found her forever home right in time to have her first Christmas. Isn't that great? What's not so great is that she stole my blog, but hey ho, she's just a kitten and I guess she doesn't know she's not sposed to. if she does it next Christmas, she'll get a good whapping, but for now, cuz she's tiny and cute, I'll say this instead. Welcome to the world, Phoebe, welcome to Christmas, welcome to your forever home, and more importantly, welcome to love! Soak it all up, baby. It don't get much better than you've got it. Oh, also, I've had a report from the human about the Pepper. Just so as you know, the Pepper is actually called a dog, and dogs are made for whacking! The human says she attacks you and bites you and chases you. She doesn't do it enough to draw blood or to really hurt. She's doing it more cuz she's jealous of the attention you get rather than cuz she wants to do you injury, but it's not acceptable! The peoples are too soft with her. They don't discipline her the way they should, so, baby, it's up to you! Those claws you have? Use 'em. I know you're starting to, cuz the human heard Pepper yelp a couple of times when you decided to chase her. Good for you! You need to do that now when she comes to bite you. Just remember, you are and always will be cuter than her, which means you'll always get more attention and she'll always be jealous. that means you gotta stick up for yourself. Claws, claws, claws! She'll be much happier once you've put her in her place.





Because it's Christmas, I'll allow you to cuddle my human too. Sit with her a while. She's a good people to teach you that peoples are not all busy busy and can be good, quiet, warm places to sleep which will scratch and tickle you when you ask for it. You're right not to bite though. The human is such a bore when even I do that. it's just not worth it. If you're nice, she'll bring you ribbons and things to play with. I'll tell her to.





Now, I'm done being nice. Dogface is here. I've got some whapping to do!