She's Got Some Splaining to Do!

Oh yes she does, friends. The human, that is. Earlier today I was informed by a reliable source that another cat had been writing on my blog, and that my human had been fratternising with it. The latter I believe. She's difficult like that, and no amount of training will teach her otherwise, but the former? Surely not. As soon as Dogman turned his back, I had a quick peak, and couldn't believe my eyes! Who does this Phoebe think she is! What's going on here! Why is my human cuddling another kitten! I was so angry that when Dogman and she were talking on the phone, I miaowed very, very loudly and told her off repeatedly. Dogman was surprised at the amount of noise I was making. Just as well he doesn't understand felinese, cuz I confess that some of the language I was using was far from ladylike. You know what though? I don't care, and I'm not ashamed of it. That human needs putting in her place.




Once I was done telling her exactly what I thought of her, I found that my anger was manageable. I went back and re-read what the kitten had written, and my heart softened as my claws retracted instead of scrabbing. She sounds so lost, so misguided, so, well, kittenish. I have a soft spot for kittens. I can't help it. They're just so defenceless and impressionable. I decided that instead of shouting at her for stealing my blog as she deserves, I'd tell her rescue story instead, cuz she was a rescue you know.





Tori, Phoebe is not my human's new kitten, no. We did say we were getting one a few months ago, but unfortunately, it turned out that that baby wasn't the right way to be shown. So we're still waiting. no, this kitten owns the human's auntie people and her three kittens. The peoplekittens are quite old kittens now, but you know, they do stay babies for such an awfully long time. Anyway, Phoebe began life as one of a group of kittens in a feral colony. Mummycat was being fed by the auntie cuz she could tell that she was nursing and she wanted to help her. Phoebe and her siblings were born just as it was starting to get cold here, so mummycat could do with all the help she could get.





For about four or five weeks, everything was fine. Mummycat fed the babies and the babies followed mummycat everywhere. But then the peoples noticed that one little cat wasn't following so good. Mummycat was a very good mummycat though, and kept coming back for it and picking it up to take with her. But the peoples could see that the kitten wasn't well. They phoned my human and told her that the kittens eyes were gummed shut so bad that she couldn't see, and that she seemed sniffly and lethargic. When the human said that it was cat flu and would most likely kill her through her being cold or mummycat struggling too much and leaving her behind or her own immune system not being strong enough yet to fight it off, the peoples, particularly the oldest peoplekitten, got very upset. The human advised them on the best way to separate the kitten from mummycat and trap it with the minimum amount of distress.





It wasn't hard to do. The baby was so sick that she didn't even try to run away. When they took her inside, she was so scared, but too weak to run. The human told the mummypeople of the peoplekittens, her auntie, how to make up a saline solution and then how to safely bathe the baby's eyes to give her some temporary relief before they took her to the vet.





Now you know that I go back and forth on whether or not I like vets, but whether I love 'em or hate 'em, the fact remains that occasionally, they have their uses. This was one of those cases. They helped the auntie clean phoebe up good. She had fleas, she had worms, she had flu, she was too small to eat propperly just yet, and the auntie didn't have the money for any of it. The vet was so nice that he said the only thing they had to pay for was the eye drops for her eyes, and they had to promise to bring her back for her vaccinations. Super vet!





They took the kitten home. They got fleas, but they still didn't care. They just cleaned them out of where they landed, and kept cleaning the kitten. That's when she got named Phoebe. The oldest peoplekitten watches the TV show Friends, and on there, a people named Phoebe sings a song that goes, "Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you". Now normally I'd take offence to this. After all, it's not terribly flattering to be named for a smelly cat. But the thing is, she was smelly back then, and anyway, Phoebe is the peoplekitten's favourite character, so it's kinda Ok. So Phoebe was her name, and it stuck.





The original plan was to clean her up, then put her back with the mummycat, but that lasted all of about two seconds. The human also mentioned the high mortality rate in feral colonies from things like FIV, and as soon as they heard that, they decided, well, the oldest peoplekitten decided, that they were keeping her as a housecat. They had no experience of cats at all, let alone tiny kittens, but somehow they managed to get her eating, and sort of pooping in her litterbox. I say sort of cuz she prefers to go on the floor right nearby. They didn't heed any of the human's advice on fixing the problem though, so she still does it. She's about three months old now, and is reasonably well adjusted. She's still not too sure about peoples, but that's more to do with the environment she lives in rather than her routes, we suspect. It's a very noisy and fast-paced household. Goodness, even I wouldn't be a huge people cat in that sort of house, and I love peoples! We have hope that she'll get better though.





So, that's Phoebe's story. This little kitten has found her forever home right in time to have her first Christmas. Isn't that great? What's not so great is that she stole my blog, but hey ho, she's just a kitten and I guess she doesn't know she's not sposed to. if she does it next Christmas, she'll get a good whapping, but for now, cuz she's tiny and cute, I'll say this instead. Welcome to the world, Phoebe, welcome to Christmas, welcome to your forever home, and more importantly, welcome to love! Soak it all up, baby. It don't get much better than you've got it. Oh, also, I've had a report from the human about the Pepper. Just so as you know, the Pepper is actually called a dog, and dogs are made for whacking! The human says she attacks you and bites you and chases you. She doesn't do it enough to draw blood or to really hurt. She's doing it more cuz she's jealous of the attention you get rather than cuz she wants to do you injury, but it's not acceptable! The peoples are too soft with her. They don't discipline her the way they should, so, baby, it's up to you! Those claws you have? Use 'em. I know you're starting to, cuz the human heard Pepper yelp a couple of times when you decided to chase her. Good for you! You need to do that now when she comes to bite you. Just remember, you are and always will be cuter than her, which means you'll always get more attention and she'll always be jealous. that means you gotta stick up for yourself. Claws, claws, claws! She'll be much happier once you've put her in her place.





Because it's Christmas, I'll allow you to cuddle my human too. Sit with her a while. She's a good people to teach you that peoples are not all busy busy and can be good, quiet, warm places to sleep which will scratch and tickle you when you ask for it. You're right not to bite though. The human is such a bore when even I do that. it's just not worth it. If you're nice, she'll bring you ribbons and things to play with. I'll tell her to.





Now, I'm done being nice. Dogface is here. I've got some whapping to do!