Friends, I'm being neglected in favour of suitcases and clothes folding, and I don't like it even one little bit! I know she has to do these things before she goes away for her trip, but I also know that it doesn't have to interfere with Tia time! Sometimes I despair of ever having this human fully trained, I really do. And I don't know what she'll get up to in these few weeks that she's away from me.
This is the longest she'll ever have spent apart from me, and she says she's not looking forward to how much she knows she'll miss me. After tomorrow, I won't see her again until the 13th of June! That's forever! But I've decided to give her a surprise when she does come back. While she's away, I'm gonna work real, real hard on growing a ginormously fat tummy! She thinks I'm like a little butterball at the moment. Well, you just wait till she sees me in June! Hah!
She cleaned out my stinky litterbox today and washed it with icky cleaning stuff. She says it's so that Dogman doesn't have to do it, that it's only fair cuz he's looking after me. Well, honestly! She should be doing it for my benefit, not for his!
She also got out a bag today and started putting my kittening kit together inside it. She says that as things arrive in the post, they'll go straight in there so she knows where everything is when the big day comes. Sensible of her for once.
Now, what else to tell you? Oh, I know, more pregnancy news, only this time, it's not mine! There are two pregnancies to talk about, one of them welcome and one not. Let's start with the good news, shall we?
You remember the ladypeople that came down to see us and see if my nimples were pink? The same one that had the Burmese babycats? Well, she also had another girl who, despite being off to visit a mancat quite a few times, was just like me and wouldn't let him have a dirty weekend with her. Well, she went off again day before yesterday and you know what? yesterday, she let him do his work. Not just once, but loads and loads of times! They're still at it today, so if she takes, there'll be more little Burmese babycats for my human to love on at the end of July!
Now the not so welcome news. Do you remember Phoebe? That tiny little babycat that belonged to the human's auntie and cousins? The one who was taken in as a feral off the street? Well, she's also pregnant, and she's only eight months old. The human and I aren't gonna do our rant here. Poor Mom Trish has already heard it all by email, and I'm sure she doesn't want to hear it again! In summary, they could have had her lady gardenectomy for very, very cheap on accounta she was a stray and the vet peoples will do it cheap for strays, but they didn't take her in. They let her out in the garden cuz she liked to go out there. Well, one day they must not have watched her. They called the human a few weeks back to tell her they thought she was pregnant, and the human advised taking her to the vet peoples to see if it was too late for a lady gardenectomy, but they never did. now it's too late. The vet people says she'll have them in a week, but the human thinks at least another two weeks, as nobody can see or feel babycat movement yet. She's furious though. I haven't seen her that mad in ages. Phoebe is too young to have babies, and even if she wasn't, it's irresponsible to put her at that sort of risk. Who knows what diseases the daddy could have carried, and what of all those other poor babies in rescues! Goodness knows where her babies will end up. The human doesn't want to think about that. She wishes she didn't know about the pregnancy, but prays that poor Phoebe will hang on until she gets there before she gives birth so that the human can help.
Oh, that's right, we didn't tell you that bit. When the human comes back from Alaska, she travels straight away to Ireland for a weekend. Her cousin, the one closest to her in age, is getting married and wants her to be there. By the time she gets to Ireland, she's gonna be beat!
The plane bird that flies humans in the sky will eat her and her bags at 3 tomorrow, and will then fly for ages and ages. When it gets to Seattle, it'll be so tired of carrying the heavy suitcase that she has with her that it told me it's gonna spit her out and make her get another plane bird to fly her the rest of the way to Alaska. It's only fair, really. One plane bird can't be expected to do all the work, after all! I hope it doesn't get indigestion! I've seen what's in that suitcase, and if I ate even a quarter of it, I'd be sick for weeks! I wonder if the RSPCA should be told? I don't know if they have a cruelty to plane birds department, and as I can't use the phone thing, I guess I'll never know.
Speaking of phones, Mom Trish tells me she did in fact see me yesterday! Well, if I'd known, I mighta pretended to be all shy and cutely embarrassed for her! mom Trish, no spying on me like that when I don't think you can see me! Naughty, naughty people, you are! And how come you didn't cuddle me! Oh, and when it comes to cats being bloated and picking out kitten names, why would you think I had anything to do with that? For the benefit of those who can't see me, my face is now angelically innocent, and it's accompanied by a lot of purring. Mommy Trish, maybe they're picking out names cuz they're so excited for me, but just in case they might have babycats themselves, you really should feed them more stinky goodness. It's essential for a healthy, problem free pregnancy, you know. Your cats wouldn't lie to you, so listen good and crack open those cans! Oh, and to the Random Felines, even mancats can have kittens! Just ask the Katnip Crew. They'll tell ya!
Admiral, the daddycat of my babycats is another Persian colourpoint. He is a cream point though, so his face, feet and tail are all cream, and his body is very white. He has a super flat face which my human doesn't like, but as we explained before, by combining his flat face with my open one, we'll get babies that are somewhere in the middle, but without all the health problems. So they're able to still be shown. Perfect!
Oh, tragedy struck today. You remember the wonderful toy I told you about yesterday? Today, it died! All of its feathers fell out and came off the string that makes them fly! I got so upset and cried so much that the human gave me a feather to play with, and taped the other one to the string. It's nowhere near as good, but it'll do until she brings me the real da bird which she says she'll get for me in Alaska. I can hardly wait! RIP, little pretend birdie. hmmm, I wonder if she could steal me a feather from a plane bird? I bet they're huge and fly real well! Have any of you ever seen one? Are its feathers worth having?
Anyway, that's all from me for a bit. I will pass this blog now into the hands of the human to do with as she will. She says she might write from time to time to let you all know what she's up to and share any updates on me, but she's making no promises. Check back though. We're thinking about that competition still! Until then, keep safe, dear friends, and remember to work on kitten names! Mom Trish and all the other good cat moms out there, repeat after me, and learn well. "I must feed more stinky goodness. I must feed more stinky goodness!"