Hi, hi, hi! Hi! Can you hear me? Huh? I don't know if you can, but the big noisy thing that calls itself the human says you can, so I'm excited enough that I'm gonna talk even if you can't. This is soooooooo neat that I can talk to other cats! Are some of you kittens, hmmm?? I'm a kitten and I'm called Phoebe and I live with more of the big noisy things that pick me up and cuddle me and feed me and play with me and walk at me so as I have to run away super fast so that their big paws don't step on me. Some of you other kittens might be ascared of them, but I'm not cuz I'm super brave. i do run away but that's just so that they won't step on me rather than because I'm afraid. I'm black and white, and I'm a big girl now! So big that I can even whap the little noisy yappy thing the big things call a Pepper or a dog or a "be quiet, you" depending on what kind of mood they're in. She's jealous of me and she bites me cuz even though she's small, I was smaller than her for a long time cuz I'm still only a baby kitten really, but now I'm big enough that I can smack her with my paws and she sometimes runs away. I did it today when she tryed to eat my food.
Today was a special day for the big noisy things. They call it Christmas. I call it a good idea. Why? Because there was a big bird thing that they left on the table and I got to eat it. Least, I tried to, but the big noisy thing that the smaller ones call mummy kept pushing me off when I tried. The third time, she even smacked my poor nose! I kept trying though.
Christmas is a scary time. it's when lots of the big noisy things come together and make a lot of noise to each other and they also bring boxes with them covered in paper. that makes noise too when they tear it off. I wasn't sure what to make of it all. I spent my time by either hiding out under one of the kitchen chairs or running around like crazy attacking everything that I laid eyes on! It was fun! Scary, but fun.
Then the big noisy thing that calls itself a human came. She arrived with two other big noisy things, one of whom I think you folks know as the HGG, and the other who is a family friend. They had all come to eat the bird and lots of other things, but they weren't interesting for cats, so I don't member what they were. Sorry, but I'm still small so my memory isn't too good yet. Sorry. The human called the mummy noisy thing her auntie, and the small noisy things her cousins, but I don't know what this means. Anyway, when she sat down, I ignored her totally, but it wasn't long before she scooped me up. I didn't know what she wanted. The noisy things I live with are very noisy, and they never sit still for long, so I'm not used to having lots of lap time sept in the evenings, so I didn't sit with her long. In fact, when she was tickling me, I even bited her... Hard. She told me off the first time, but I didn't listen. Even I know that big noisy things are silly enough that I can get away with biting them, cuz they think it is only a game, so I did it again. Then I got the shock of my life. It did something that I didn't know noisy things knew how to do! It put the mammacat grab on my neck and cuffed me! It didn't hurt, but I was so surprised that I bited it again, just to make sure I'd actually really seen that it knew how to do this. It did it again! I couldn't believe it! It was exactly how my mummycat used to tell me she'd had enough, so I didn't bite the human any more. I got quietly down off her lap with good manners instead of biting my way free, then runned away and bited shoe laces instead. They didn't scruff me or cuff me, so I decided they'd be more fun to bite instead.
The big noisy things got quiet for a while after that while they ate the bird. Then they all sat back and rubbed their tummies and said they'd eaten too much. I was glad to hear it. Means there would be some left for me! But they wouldn't give me any! I was so cross that I stayed in the kitchen when they all went into the living room. I'll admit that part of me wanted to watch the bird to make sure there was none that would suddenly appear for me, but it never did.
While I was sleeping on the chair though, the big noisy human came out and picked me up. I remembered what had happened earlier and went nice and still in her hands as a kitten should when it is picked up by a mummycat, but she sat down with me and tickled and cuddled and scratched me. She did this when there was no other big noisy things around, and this was so strange for me that I actually let her snuggle me. It was kinda strange but kinda good at the same time. I thinked I liked it, so even though I runned away, I let her pick me up again when another few noisy things were there. I even purred for her and rubbed her hand with my face. But I didn't stay long. I'm just not sure about cuddling yet, sept when I am tired and want to go for sleepies on a warm big noisy thing. Then they're Ok.
While I was cuddling with the human, I sensed she was a little sad, but as I don't know her all that well, I didn't ask about it. I'm not sure I care either. I know that sounds rude, but really, I don't know her. All I know is that she had a bit of a rough Christmas. It ended better than it started, but it wasn't an easy day at all for her. I thought about licking her when I heard this, but just sniffed the ham smell on her fingers instead. Hope that was enough comfort. Then I runned away and fighted with the Pepper dog thing, just for fun.
So that was my day and it was long and it was exciting and it was scary and I think I like the human noisy big thing but I'm not sure, and I think I like cuddles but I'm not sure either, and I am surprised that the human knows the mummycat grab and I don't think I will bite her any more cuz it's not fun to bite her. Now I want some birdy. I'm gonna crawl on the table again and see if I can find any even though I know I'm not sposed to and I might make the big noisy things make a lot of noise (they call it shouting) cuz I'm up there. It's fun tormenting big noisy things!