Tuesday, 14 December 2010

Tortureshell Tuesday: Poo to That!

Well, friends, times are hard around here. I decided to try and be nice and not have tortureshells until Santa Paws has been and gone, but no matter how hard I try, I just can't win!

Last week, the human sent me to the vet peoples cuz I was pooing way too much, so when I came home, I decided I wasn't going to do that again. Now that she's trying to collect samples for the vet peoples, she says I'm not pooing enough! I've only done one since I came home, and that one was very much a pudding poo. She says she knows I've been once cuz, to my shame, I got a little bit on my fur that I didn't manage to clean, just a little bit mind you, but she spotted it. It's hard to clean it when it's pudding poo and sticks to you, specially when you have long fur like me. When she looked for it in the box though, there was nothing there, sept a tiny bit that she thinks could have been left over from last nights when she cleared it. I really don't get it. I wish she'd make up her mind. To poo or not to poo? That is the question, and I sure as heck wishyou'd give me an answer you're prepared to stick to, human!

Our competition really isn't going well. In fact, we've had no entries sept the peoples who entered last week and won! That's really not good, considering, so we're hoping like crazy that someone enters before it closes tonight!

We gotta apologise for not answering many comments lately. The human is desperately busy trying to get all her paperwork in order for her physiotherapy interview thingy. There's so much you have to show just so they know you're good. her current file stands at a whopping 82 bits of paper, and she's not done yet. She won't even let me play with them, let alone all her certificates which she has in a separate folder. Then there's all the packing to do, and oh is that fun or what!

I told you how much I liked Dogman's suitcase when I found it when he was here, but that is nothing, nothing, nothing compared to the human's ones. She has two out at the moment, one full of mine and Dogface's stuff, and another full of hers and Christmas presents to go to the Ireland place with her. But the best bit is that when she got them out this morning, I saw my ping pong balls hiding in one. So I jumped in and whapped them good! I made them fly all over that case, and I could hurl myself after them and not get hurt too, cuz the super case protected me. Then I got to go explore in the human's one. I snuggled down in all of her clothes, only to hear her say, "Ah, cat, why'd you go and do that after I'd de-haired 'em all!" Ungrateful human. I could see there was no hair, and was trying to do her a favour! I just scrunched down smaller, pushed the carefully folded clothes around with my feet, and made room for myself. Admittedly, this didn't leave much space for her clothes, and she did start muttering something about "What's the point in even trying to fold them when you're in there?" but who cares? She can repack another day.

I also came and sat on her when she was folding her tops. She said this made things very difficult cuz if she let them rest on me for folding, not only would they get hairy, but I'd get up and run away. I don't like things on top of me, you see. She ended up using the already folded clothes as a table to do the fresh ones on. At least she has her priorities right. Don't disturb me when I'm comfortable! The suitcases are still out, and I know my fun isn't over yet!

But I'm getting side tracked. We were talking about comments. The human was very surprised that so many of you are able to see your owners when they are with the vet peoples. over in the UK, that's not common at all unless your owner is seriously ill and expected not to last too much longer. I certainly wasn't like that, or at least, not for long, so she wasn't allowed to come see me. Kassey, I never bring the bloods when I bite the human. I find it counter-productive, as it means a swift and unceremonious dumping from her lap, a lot of whining about how sore she is, and a delay in the arrival of my food. No, to bring the bloods isn't desirable at all. In any case, too much stick is not good in the human training. It scars them too badly too quickly. Catnip Crew, I hope none of those kissies were for Dogface! you'll never get the taste outta your mouth... Trust me on this. Once, but never, never again shall I try!

Speaking of Dogface, she had a bad tummy again today too and went for a check up. They stole her bloods and her peepee (about time they stole from her too!) and are sending it off for testing. They've put her on Dogface stinky goodness too to apparently give her tummy a rest and a chance to heal. It's disgusting! She gets about a squillion times more than I do, and not only does she still try and grab mine, but the human won't let me eat hers even though she has 63 times more than me! And what did she do to deserve it! Did she crawl up on the human's lap and purr for her? No. Did she miaow at her lots and lots today? No. Did she head bump her? Ok, she does this. Um, did she groom her with a loving tongue? Um, ah, moving on. But you get the point, don't you? Life's not fair sometimes.

Two more things, then I promise i'm done. Firstly, we won something at the latest auction! The human is very pleased. She says it's a crystal plate thingy that she's gonna display on her shelves... When she gets shelves. Second thing is that we're sorry to Karen for not emailing you sooner with the details for your Soft Claws after you won last week. The human's just been so caught up in all her own stuff as I said. Selfish person! She did manage to make the cake for her work peoples tomorrow, and although she said she promised and she couldn't let them down, I think the email was more important. I did tell her so, so have no fear, I'm fighting your corner! She's actually very amused by the cake. She got little chocolate figures to put on the top, thinking that there would be a people here to help her decorate it, but the people had to leave early, so she wasn't around. The human couldn't work out what way up a lot of them went, so we think we might have upside down santas on the cake! It's impossible to get chocolate topping all the way smoothe too when you have to touch it to know where to drop the shapes on, so she's worried about fingerprints. She's sure it won't look very nice either, but even that amuses her. She works for an organisation which works with a lot of peoples with broken eyes, so she says the cake, in all its messy glory, will be perfect! If it looks outlandish enough, we'll try and get someone to take a picture of it to show you. Sorry we can't take a picture of the taste though. We'll also try and get pictures of everyone in their silly Christmas things tomorrow. The secret santa at work was to find a silly thing for everyone to wear when they go out to eat tomorrow. She thinks it'll be fun!

Ok, so I lied, there's more than two things. The last one is about Santa Paws. Praline's people gave my human some good ideas about sending things out, cuz we're worried that if they'd been in this house, they may carry the bug that we have to other cats. We really don't want that. Praline's people suggested ordering from a shop, but the human has been speaking to her family peoples in Ireland. She arrives there on Monday, and if she goes out the very next day and buys all the stuff and sends it straight away, then it will still be with our partner by Christmas. It also won't be covered in Mr Bug. So that's what we're gonna do. The ordering from shops was a good idea, but the human wants to put the personal touch to it, as it's our first time doing this. We're a little worried cuz our package hasn't arrived yet, and cuz we're leaving the house on Thursday. If it hasn't got here by then, we'll just have to hope the post office holds it for us till we get back. Also, it's going to be interesting trying to work out who it's from. the human doesn't have the working eyes to read any messages, and if they're hand written rather than typed, mr computer voice won't be able to read them either. Still, it'll definitely be a surprise!

Ok, that's really it now. The human's arm is sore typing anyway. more about that tomorrow though, if she gets a chance to write. Until then, stay outta this horrible outside cold!


Admiral Hestorb said...

Tia you are doing the best you can with what you have and I think it's admirable. You are certainly right about being bloods when you put on the bitey. I accidentally did that with mommy a few months ago. She waws brushing me when I was finished! I warned and warned her but she was busy watching something, and not me. I laid a bitey on her and accidentally pierced her skin. i felt TERRIBLE! SHE felt terrible. It was not a good moment.

So be careful of your mommy. She is doing all she can to take care of you. You need to take care of her to by being continuing to be a sweet girl.

ABBY said...

We hopes you are truly feeling better.
And we are sure what you pick up for your Secret Paws will be just perfect.

Take care of your Mom.
And yourself.


Old Kitty said...

Oh sweet Tia!! To poo or not to poo!! You made me and Charlie laugh out loud with that! But seriously - we hope you are feeling a little better now? We're sorry to hear that lovely Dogface has also been to the vets. We hope that the new diet will help her!!

Good luck to your lovely human with the cake and her paperwork for the physio interview!!!

Have a peaceful evening! take care

Katnip Lounge said...

We are snickering into our metaphorical sleeves about you withholding poo. Maybe you're empty from the first part of your week? Gotta stock up the "trainyard" so to speak.

Tia, all those kissies were for you, and we'll send headbumpies to your Mom. Our Mommy would love to see the cake, we hope somebody gets a picture. Our Mommy has made some pretty hideous looking stuff but it all tastes good!

We hope that you, your Mom, and yes, even Dogface are back to 100% PRONTO.

Karen said...

Tia, While I thank you for thinking of me. I understand that people have been sick and am Ok with waiting. It is good. Also I may have missed it but am curious what is wrong with you humans eyes? Can she see anything? I am sorry If I am being personal. Hope you have a great holiday and stay heathy

Karen, Pixel, and samba

Sweet Praline said...

I'm glad you are feeling a little better, but it sounds like you were providing a little tortureshell Tuesday to your mom!

Nice plan for sending your Secret Paws. Can you get the post office to hold any packages and/or mail while your mom is gone?

Tia said...

Catnip crew, my human says she loves head bumpies! Be careful though. If you give her those, you're gonna have to put up with scratching and snorgling and cuddling and all sorts. It's torture, I promise you!

Karen, the human's eyes are broken. My research tells me she can't see me, and cuz she uses her hands to touch everything from my brush to my food, I'm confident to say that she can't see anything else either. I experimented last night to make sure by stalking her slippers. She jumped when I attacked her feet, so it's confirmed. She sees nothing. Except maybe light and dark. She puts the lights on when she comes home from the work hunt, and always switches them off before bed, so I'm guessing that's about all her eyes work to see.

Praline, the post office won't hold thigs for us I don't think, but the human is going to ask her friend to come round and pick up post for her. If she doesn't mind, that is. She's our last hope!

Amy and The House of Cats said...

HI Tia! Oh we are so behind - and oh we are sorry you still aren't getting a lot of visitors and entries - maybe we can get mom to repeat you this week for Friends on Friday (we didn't see the Pet Blogs United blog hop for it last week so we didn't get to join it). We are still so behind so we don't get to visit as often as we like - mom really needs a better system.

We are sorry you are still not feeling good, and that dogface is sick now too. We wish whatever it is would just leave all of you alone! We were very surprised to read you don't get to have your humans visit you when you are at the vets - we have never had to stay too long but we know our mom would be able to visit us if we did.

Ok, anyway, we just wanted to tell you that we hope you get more visitors and entries soon - we are so behind so we haven't even had a chance to hardly look at anything let alone enter anything (mom lets us read the old posts but only comments on the most recent one most of the time). We hope you feel better very soon and will keep purring for all of you!!

Hannah and Lucy said...

Hi Tia and also Hi to Tia's mum
We are your partners in Secret Paws and we mailed your package out on Monday morning so we are hoping that it will be with you very soon. There are presents and a Christmas card in the box. I didn't know until I read your blog tonight that you had something to read out typed print for you or I could have typed something up to make it easier for you. I did put a senders address on the package as well as your address so hopefully if it's not left at your local post office for you it will be returned here and I can resend it after Christmas. We live in Leicestershire which isn't too far away from you.
Luv Hannah, Lucy and Mum Sue xx xx xx

The Lee County Clowder said...

Tia, what to Uk beans do if they are going to be out of town for a while, then? Surely your post office doesn't expect you to drop by every day to check the mailbox when you're visiting Italy or someplace comparable?

Tia said...

Clouder, they will hold the parcel for a time, but often it can be only a week before it's sent back. Apparently they've extended it to three weeks, but when I spoke to the man at the post office today, he said that's true in theory, but not always in practice. Guess we'll just have to wait and see! I didn't manage to get hold of my friend, so I'm now at the mercy of royal mail.

GreatGranny said...

I bet that cake looks good with all the trimming.
Please be extra careful and don't trip up the human. I sometimes do that and almost make her fall. She has learned not to be in a hurry cuz I'm gonna beat her to the kitchen. She's learning.
We hope you and Dogface get your tummies straightened out.