Sunday, 22 August 2010

Not Easy Like Sunday

I wish I could say I had an easy Sunday, but to be honest with you, I didn't.

It started in a pretty usual way. The human slept in late, and, being a devoted follower of all things which require little effort, or in this case none, I joined in. Dogman woke us up, or should I say, his stinky hound did, by beating her tail repeatedly on the wall of the bedroom, all because he'd rolled over. If she was allowed, Molly would jump on the bed whenever Dogman showed the first signs of getting up, and by this, I mean even the slightest change in breathing, but as she's forbidden, she contented herself instead with attempting to bang a hole in the wall with no more than a tail. This dragged the human out of bed, and not long after, Dogman appeared.

He's strange. When my human wakes up, she sounds sleepy, but she still talks propperly. Dogman kind of grunts first thing in the morning, for a good long time or until he's had his coffee. Incidentally, I still haven't gotten a taste of that. Nor have I been able to try the Paw trick, because he didn't set it on the floor again.

After such a rude awakening, I wanted to get some more shut-eye, but it wasn't to be. My human has things right in one area. She doesn't do the washing up first hting on a Sunday. Truth be told, she leaves it for as long as she can because the bubbly soapy stuff makes the skin on her hands go sore and cracked. Dogman, however, cleans everything in sight first thing in the morning, then flops for the rest of the day. He did this this morning with the dishes, and my human, getting the guilts for being idle, actually got up and helped. How am I supposed to sleep when my cuddle spot is mobile? More to the point, how's a girl supposed to sleep with all that noise going on!

If only he'd stuck to the usual Sunday routine of do as little as possible, but he didn't. He and the human went out, and when they came back, they had a box! Great, I thought. I love boxes, but the first attack I make on them is usually done when nobody's watching. I like to claim things in private. Truth be told, it's because of my exuberance. I'm supposed to be a well-bred lady, and that means showing enormous dignity at all times. When you're rolling around attacking imaginary things inside a box, you kind of lose that angle. Once I've done this once or twice though, it's out of my system. Then I just use the box as a cosy place to snuggle down in and peak at the world.

Dogman didn't leave this box alone long enough to let me do that, not even when it was empty! So much for me making friends with him this morning. I made a point of stationing myself right in the middle of the TV screen when he was trying to watch it earlier today. Why? Because he was sure to notice me there, and he must have, because he did give me ear rubbings and head scratches. That's about all he gave me though, and he certainly didn't donate that box!

Anyway, I digress. The thing that came out of the box was a human thing, so not all that interesting, until they plugged it in, however. A funny smell came from it then, and I got closer to investigate. It was hot too, and Dogman stopped me putting my face too near. See what I mean? He spoils all the fun. Then, out of nowhere, my human picked this thing up, and it began to hiss! A lot! I fled at that point. No way am I sticking around something which is big enough to have enough breath to spit for that long. After a time though, my curiosity got the better of me. I came slinking round the side of the sofa, ready to dart off at a moment's notice, but also ready to defend my human if necessary, but only if the thing wasn't too big you understand. There are limits! All I saw was the people thing! Very, very strange.

My human says this thing is a steam iron and that it hisses because very hot water is coming out of it under pressure. Again this just illustrates the point that they are stupid. First of all, if you have to be near water at all, it should be cool enough to drink or bathe in, not hot enough to hiss and come out as steam. Secondly, why in the name of holy cats would you go out and bring something back that does nothing but hiss and spit at you! In the sensible cat world, we call such things disfunctional and steer well clear. We definitely don't bring them back to the house! I think Whicky has the right of it sometimes when he calls his peoples apes. They really are abominably stupid at times. Nothing I said would make her get rid of this abomination though. I've decided that I'm going to boycott it. I'm not going near it, and any time she uses it I'm going to kick up a stinker of a fuss. I might even try turning myself inside out. Either that or I'll hide. This is to make the human feel guilty over thinking that it scares me, not because I'm really scared, you understand.

Now, onto the exciting news, or exciting for the human at least. Kittens. The owner of the mancat that I went to see last has just had a litter of kittens born. My human says that this people breeds cats with an incredible pedigree. Again, she's showing her stupidity here. We're all incredible regardless of pedigree. She mutters something about the show bench here, saying that this people's kittens are usually well placed, yada, yada, yada. I'm not talking about the human's sayings more today because she's just too silly to pay attention to. I'm not one of this people's kittens, and I still placed well in my first ever show. Just look me up on Cat Planet or the GCCF if you don't believe me. My show name is Catarosa Dolly Mixture, yet another piece of people idiocy.

Anyway, back to the news. This people doesn't usually sell girl kittens for breeding because she worries about the homes they'll go to. A lot of breeders keep so many cats that we never get to be truely pets, and live in a cattery instead, and this people doesn't want that for her babies. Good for her, I say, and my human, in a single second of sanity, actually agreed with me. To be fair, she's pretty immovable on this point. If cats aren't given the good life, she gets very, very upset.

After speaking with my human, but more importantly, seeing how loving and content and beautiful and cuddly I am, this people said that she'd be happy for my human to have one of the girl kittens to breed from and show with, but finding a cat of that quality is usually quite difficult. Because of her standards, only the best kittens from this people are even considered, and by best, I mean this idiotic notion of people that we have to look a certain way. I know, I know, it's pathetic, but there you are. There's only so much I can train her.

The people phoned the human a few days ago and told her that one of the cats had just become a mummycat, and she had three little girls. So now she's got her fingers crossed that one of them will be the right cat for us. It's not going to be an easy find. The people is selective about which ones she'll offer, and my human is even more selective about temprament. She wants another lovebug, as if I'm not enough! Honestly though, if we have to have another cat, I agree with her on this. Before Ming came alone, I'd have sworn I'd not want another stealing my human, but kittens aren't so bad really. A nice one is a bonus.

So, that's where we are at the moment. Kittens loom large on the horizon, the house has returned to normal, or something approaching it, and Dogman has left us. Sadly, so has his suitcase. Oh well, there's always a next time.


Ming said...

That steam iron thing sounds like a very nasty creature! Better stay away from it. My people doesn't have one...or if he does, he's never used it. He has a big thing called a grill that smells good but likes to hiss sometimes, but it's up high and it has a top that closes so I tend to stay away. He told me something about getting "fried" if I touched it...whatever that means. It's too hot to play with anyway.
Show bench? I have no idea what you're talking about. And I don't much care how I look. I blend in with the dark really well so I can hide at night-time, and that's good enough for me. I don't know why peoples care about what shape we are, or who our parents are, or any of that. If we're nice and soft and mostly friendly, that should be enough. But then, I'm coming to realize that peoples really are sort of silly. They're not stupid, since they do give us food and treats and belly-tickles and things, but they have strange ideas about what to spend their days doing, that much I already know.
And don't worry, Tia, I'll be good to live with. If there are other kittens when I'm there, I'll be nice to them too...or at least I'll try to be.

Tia said...

Woe, babycat, hold the phone! Wait a minute. For you, that's the Carly. Live with? Who said anything about living with! Is there something you want to tell me? Cuz I'm confused right about now, and for a wise cat, that's saying something! As for kittens, if they're mine, everyone had better be nice to them, or there's gonna be trouble. If it's naother kitten, it depends how much I like her whether I care or not.

A show bench is the peoples name for a place they take you where a lot of people look at you, give you scratches, tell you you're beautiful and then pin dangly ribbons on the pen they put you in. I like it. Who wouldn't when you spend your whole day getting told how pretty you are?

Everycat said...

Oh horrible, hissing, hateful irons! My apes have one and I despise it. It's dangerous too. I can only just trust my apes with bananas and even then they require supervision, so I don't encourage them to use it. Falling asleep on the pile of clothes they call "the ironing" stops them using the damned iron.

I looked you up Tia, sweetness personified. Apes generally admire all the wrong things. They go for shape when they should just go for love. They should love all cats at all times, no matter what we look like.

Don't worry, we have at least 9000 ping pong balls here, many are under the sofa but there's always a good supply of them in our toy basket. My favourite toy is the cat nip carrot. It's bright orange with feathers for the sprouty carrot tops and the apes keep it filled with catnip and valerian, which stinks like cheesy ape feet. I love it. Originally it was Oliver's but I took a shine to it.

I'm sorry your Sunday was so tedious Tia. I'd go and find a pile of "ironing" and fall asleep on it if I was you.


Tia said...

Whicky, a cat nip carrot? That sounds absolutely amazing! Do your apes give you fresh cat nip too? My human does, but she hasn't gotten me a carrot yet.

Thank you so much for the compliment. If my human knew how to put pictures in the blog, she could post some. She only has a few that Dogman too, but still, it's a start, eh?

9000 balls? My goodness! Can I come and holiday at your place? We only have 150, or that's what there was at last count. Currently, 23 of these are under the sofa, and I don't know where the rest are. There's still some in the box though. The human gets these really nice mice too. They're made of the same stuff as our scratching posts are, and they have a big, springy tail, so you can grab that in your teeth, then scratch the living daylights out of the mouse. Ah, good times, those.

In fairness, even if the human got presented with a straggly, flee-infested street kitten with uncertain parentage to put it politely, she'd still smoosh it. She's a good human like that. Speaking of, those other kittens are doing well in the shed. The human is seeing the hoover lady on Tuesday, so I'll try and update then.

Until then, I shall hunt for the ironing!

The Lee County Clowder said...

Tia, we looked you up, and you are a pretty kittie, indeed. (although we would like to know how your human got Tia from Catarosa Dolly Mixture)

If your human needs help blogging pictures or anything else, she can check with Skeezix's Help Blog Center There is a list of topics on the right side she can scroll through. Or she could just ask on her blog. Someone will answer her. With luck, she'll even get a correct answer.

Tia said...

Clowder, thanks very much. I'll get her to have a look at the help thingy today, then hopefully you can all see me propperly!

How did she get Tia? She didn't. It was another silly people who did. I didn't always live with the human, and when she got me, I was already called Tia. This is common though. None of our pedigree name usually reflects what they call our pet name. For some reason, the pedigree one has to have more sparkle or some such. Even the human doesn't fully get this, but Tia I am. I'm half wondering what the new kitten's stupid name will be. Hopefully it won't be as long winded as mine. In the UK where we live though, a dolly mixture is a type of sweet. They come in a bag, and there's all sorts of shapes and colours in there. I'm also a doll-faced Persian, and a nice mix of colours to boot, so the person who put in the pedigree name did possess a tiny bit of cleverness, no small thing when you're talking about peoples. Catarosa is the prefix of the breeder who owned Mummycat when she had me.