Thursday, 12 August 2010

Tortie Thursday and Other Things

From reading cat blogs, I understand that Tortie Tuesday/Thursday has become a bit of a tradition with a lot of you. I'd like to join in, but the accepted posting of a picture to show off my tortie yumminess isn't possible, thanks to my human not being able to use the flashing thing that takes them because her eyes are broken. She says she'll do a description instead though, so I got into one of my really cutiful poses so that she could do me justice. Mere words aren't enough, but sadly, they'll have to do. Ok, here goes.

Tia loves belly rubs. She's almost puppy-like in her enjoyment of them. I was only half awake this morning and reached down to give her the usual, "come on, it's time to get up" tickle. As soon as she felt my hand on her, she flipped over quick enough that I thought she was going to grab me and start to play, but instead, all she did was stretch right out, back paws flopped open, front paws right up over her face, belly curved up towards me (she was stretching so much that her back was arching). Well, what can you do but tickle such a great tummy? As soon as I did, those paws came down and held onto my wrist. The message was clear. "you ain't goin' anywhere, human, until my tickle urge has been satisfied."

So, there you have it, a word picture. What do you think? Is it enough to satisfy? My human's people friend is coming again in a couple of days, and he can use the flash thing, so I'll pester him to take more pictures of me, then you can see.

I haven't seen any more of the witch lately. I wonder if the evil stink-eye I've been giving her when I can be bothered has finally worked? Either way, I haven't seen the mancat either.

I've been thinking about men more lately than I have in the last few days. I don't know whether it's Porthos that's triggered it in me or whether I'm just hankering to share food and a litterbox again, but either way, I've been experimenting. Occasionally I'll stick my bum in the air for the human to rub, and she gets excited when she sees this. I've had a stern talking to her though. "You can't rush this, girl," I said seriously,"It'll come in its own time. Now, be calm. Here, stroke me. That'll help." She took no notice though. Sometimes I actually wonder if they're smart enough to understand language. They seem to get it occasionally. When I miaow in a certain way, for instance, she'll always say "what, do you want fish?" so the training's starting to work, but it takes them ages to grasp even the simplest of concepts. Ah well, I can be patient. I'm a good teacher.

I've started to teach the human's people' kitten too. I left a comment on his blog the other day, but I've heard nothing from him. Perhaps he's frightened because I'm bigger and wiser and more beautiful than him? I'm not sure. What do you all think? Should I go easier on him? But if I do, won't that up the risk of the human being allowed to cuddle him as much as me? This cannot be permitted to happen at any cost.

She cut me down to one ping pong ball this morning. She said I didn't need ten out at once, and she'd give me more when she got back. Aaah, the withdrawal symptoms! I got a good bit of chicken though. Speaking of which, I'm ashamed to admit that her plan got the better of me yesterday. Well, what was I supposed to do! That lump of beautiful, juicey, tasty raw meat was staring at me, calling to me! I just had to have another lick, then a chew, then, horror of horrors, cat friends, I bit it. I just couldn't quit after that, not until the whole lump was gone. So now she knows my secret. I can chew things up, and there's no avoiding it now. They're stupid on picking up on the things that matter, but not on the things which I wish they were slower with. Why couldn't the missing meat have escaped her notice! This morning my chicken was in pieces, but they weren't as small as yesterday. She says she's not going to cook the chicken next time either. Well, why not! I like it that way! Oh, raw meat is good, but let's not tell her that either. Silly human.

She finally solved another problem too. Remember I told you I was being reserved with her? I only told you part of the reason. The other one was that there was a box in front of the sofa. Now, any old cat will climb on things, but not me, oh no. I'm always careful when I jump on the bed to try and aim only for blanket, and if I miss that, the only part I ever land on is the human's feet. I quickly jump off though. It's not polite to walk on the human. Even when I climb onto her knee, i'm nice enough to get onto the sofa beside her first. It's partly so that I don't startle her too. When I first came to her, if she reached down, sometimes I'd let her tickle me and sometimes I'd give her a nip and a swat to keep her away from my yummy tummy (that's what she calls it, but we'll talk about that once your peoples have mastered cutiful. Start small, folks, start small), but I could see how much it startled her. She'd do the flinch, pull hand back, squeak thing. As I've said before, I care for the human, and whilst I couldn't work out why it would surprise her, I started to be a bit more gentle. I learned that I could play with her as long as I worked into it slowly so that her hand could touch me first. That's how I began to notice that her eyes didn't work, and when you understand that, you can see why teeth and claws coming from nowhere would be a bit of a shock.

Anyway, I'm getting side tracked. So, I don't like climbing on things and the human hadn't realised that the box in front of the sofa was bad even though it contained my balls. It was blocking easy access to the cushion beside her, you see, and how am I to climb on her when I can't get to the cushion? Sure, I could jump to the arm or the back of the sofa, but that's extra height, and extra effort. I finally persuaded her to move it last night, and up I came to calm her down after the hard work of lifting it by letting her touch me. It seemed to work. She was very, very happy and seemed to be thankful that things had gone back to normal. I also slept with her last night, and only woke her up once! She did a very sweet thing though. It wasn't even human wake-up time number two yet, but she woke up all on her own, touched all the bed with her hands, then said sleepily, "where are you, Tia?" This might not sound like much, but I like to know my human wants my company. It's a good repayment for the effort I put in to keep her happy. It's nice to know your presence is wanted to the point where she'll come out of a sleep when you're not there any more. I didn't come straight back though. It does no good to have them depending on you too tightly. I waited just until she was almost sleep breathing, then came and woke her for strokings.

Ah, life is good at the minute. Chicken, ping pong balls and a warm human to snuggle with at night. What could be better?


Jan's Funny Farm said...

We notice you mention again that your human's eyes are "broke." Is she okay?

Tia said...

Oh, the human is fine. She tells me her eyes have always been this way. I'm struggling to explain this in terms us cats will understand (she gave me a very complicated explannation) but basically, when she was a human kitten, they got broken in her mummy's tummy. They've never worked. That's why she touches me to know where I am and why she can't use the flash thing that takes pictures and why I have to make lots of noise when I want the fish so she knows where I am without touching. you can't touch and prepare food at the same time after all. She's like a cat though. She copes well with it, and doesn't let it get in the way of good tummy scratches.

Everycat said...

Your human painted an excellent picture of you enjoying the belly rub Tia. If only my apes were so eloquent. Seems to me that you are training your human Mum very well indeed. I often have to resort to the bitey, if for example, I am not being stroked EXACTLY right. No ape dares rub my belly unless I'm in the very deepest of sleeps!

Whicky Wuudler

Tia said...

Whicky, you should try and be a little bit more patient with the peoples. Poor things, they do struggle to get things just right. I use the claws if my human isn't doing it the way I want, but I work up to real displeasure slowly. I've trained her to the point where she gets the message quickly now, thankfully. You're missing out if you put the bitey on them. Getting a tummy rub is great. You poor thihng. Would you like to borrow my human for a while, only a little while mind you, to see juts how good yummy tummies can be when they're on display? Oh, how are you getting on with cutiful?