It's been too long since I last had a chance to write, and if you ask me, the human was starting to enjoy posting just a little bit too much for my liking. She actuallly had the nerve to tell me today that it's weird to start writing for me again. I don't see what's so weird about just typing what I tell her to.
Well, I've been through a lot this week, and some of it so undignified that I don't even know how to talk about it. Peoples are absolutely disgusting, you know that? My human was the start of it. Ok, so my tummy was upset and when I used the box, a little of it got on me and wouldn't come off, but that's no excuse to come at me with a wet thing and try and get my fur wet! That, I know, would just add to the problem. Nasty poo is easier to clean off when it's dry, as every cat knows, but she kept muttering about not wanting me to clean it with my tongue, and how she didn't want it on her carpets. She thinks I growled because I was unwell. I growled because I'd hadit with her idiocy. After all, a cat's tongue is specifically designed for detangling and cleaning fur, and we don't leave it soaking wet and smelling funny! I just didn't have the energy to thwap her though, so I suffered the indignity.
But it wasn't over there. I spent a long time at the vet's place. I might have revised my opinion on them. The ones I usually see are fine, but these ones put me in a cage, and my bed, my food and my litter were all close together! This is bad enough under normal circumstances, but when you have, erm, the runs, it's awful! Imagine doing that near where you have to eat and sleep!
They started doing things to me. They put a sharp thing in my paw that pumped cold stuff that looked like water into my body. That made me feel less hot and grumpy. They gave me really nice food, but that didn't make up for what was coming next!
They stole my fur! To make matters worse, they didn't even test it for anything! The lady vet said she needed to take it off to do an abdominal scan, but I know she took it away and just kept it all for herself! Anybody who knows me knows that if you ask, I'll happily fur up peoples clothes and, welll, just them in general, but she didn't even do that! They took all of the fur on my yummy tummy, and I never thought I'd say this, but it does not enhance its yumminess! It feels so weird to groom that spot, and I don't even like anyone touching it if I'm honest with you.
You think that's bad? There is far worse to come. I don't know how to say this. A ladycat should never talk about this kind of thing, but I think you need to know just how disgusting vet peoples can be. They didn't only steal my fur. They stole some of my, some, some of my poopoo! I promise you, I'm not telling lies. They kept me there, and every time I buried it in the litter, they came along and took it away and put it in a pot in a fridge! I can't tell you how much the thought revolts me. What are they going to do with poopoo? Even peoples can't have a use for that, surely! I don't know why they wanted it. The human says testing, but what's to test? Poo is poo!
They sent me home not long after that. Even though I still wasn't feeling my usual yummy self, I was glad to be here. The human doesn't have cages that I have to live in. I could get down and run around and do all the crazy things with ping pong balls that I'd been dying to do for almost a week! I have been cuddling the human much more today than yesterday. She's being pretty silly. Yesterday she worried because I hardly cuddled her which isn't normal for me. Today she's worried because I'm cuddling a lot. She wonders if this means I'm getting sick again. She keeps pinching my skin and begging me to drink more. She says I'm only just keeping myself above dehydration, and that with me being fed on hardly any dried food at all. She also says my temperature is going up and down more than she'd like. I think she's worrying too much about nothing. The rational part of her agrees a little bit, but she says she just can't forget how close she came to losing me forever. Losing me? How could I get lost in a cage!
The human says that for now, she's still going to keep a very close eye on me. Stupid Dogface is still in the vet, but is getting better too. The human went to her vet on Friday, but they didn't do anything for her at all. Maybe she didn't need it.