Tia Today

I spoke with the vet this morning about Tia's progress, and thankfully, it's looking up. They didn't need to put her on fluids this time. She's eating and is maintaining her own hydration. Her temperature is also going down which is super news. I think they're still going to test for Giardia, and myself, my friend and Molly are all going to be treated for it just in case. The saga doesn't stop though.

This morning, Molly had a poo. Nothing unusual in that except that it was soft and runny. I was worried, but not overly. It's not unheard of for her to have runny poo. When I got to work though, she vomited. Now if there'd been something in her puke I'd have attributed it to her eating something she shouldn't have, but as it was nothing but liquid, just as Tia's was, I was now worried. To make matters worse, my clinical nurse manager, when he heard that I was showing some symptoms that hadn't cleared up yet, sent me home and told me not to come back. I can't go into work until two days after the last symptom has cleared, so that means that I'm off until Monday at the very earliest.

They had a look at Molly in the vets and thought that she was, on the whole, pretty Ok, but bearing in mind the signs and the similarity to Tia, I begged them to give me the Giardia treatment. As it's also a routine wormer and she was due one, they agreed because it won't do her any harm, and may well do some good. I have a doctor's appointment at 10 on Friday morning to have my own human treatment.

Tia, if all goes well, will come home tomorrow. I can't say that I'm not nervous about it. I'm terrified. She was home before and she was bad then. I don't know if I have the emotional energy to go through that again. This time though, if she comes home and sh'es fine, then gets bad when she's here, I'll be forced to accept that something in the house doesn't agree with her. What that something is though, I don't know. Please folks, fingers and paws crossed that she's on the way up now, that she's turned that corner for good. I don't want another turn!

I thought I knew about death. My grandad has died. So has my auntie, and I thought I had accepted the fact that my grandmother was going too. But I've fully realised now as an adult how brutal that gossamer touch is. That has drained me perhaps more than anything else. Molly's loss is different. I'll know that she's still alive, that I can still see her even if it isn't that often, and when she finally does leave this world, it won't be the same either. She won't have lived with me for a good long while. The loss will still hurt, but it won't be as acute. Tia really brought home to me just how hard it is going to be to deal with loss when it happens to someone you live with. It has changed my perspective on life in some way, a way I can't even define. I don't know what affect this will have, but I suspect that in the short term, it is going to make me live stronger, love harder and be even more thankful for even the small things I have. What does it matter when you haven't had a good day? At least your loved ones are still there to hear you say it. It really puts things into perspective.

I'm rambling and I know it. Let me finish by thanking you all again. From my mum who offered to put her lifetime experience of a year's travelling off to come home and be a shoulder to cry on, to every single one of you who have never even met me, but parted with hard earned money to support a furbaby you've only seen in pictures and words. Isn't it incredible that a life was saved by people who'd never even met her? That blows me away when I think of it. Words do not do me justice here. I can't find the right ones. Know however that you have saved me from, well, from I don't really know what, but it felt like I was on an emotional edge. If I'd fallen over, I don't know how long it would have taken me to come back. You gave me more than money, more than well wishes and support. You gave me the strength not to fall over the lip. You cannot put a price on that, and I won't cheapen the incredible gift by trying inadequate words. Let me simply say a heart felt thank you.