Female Friday

Well, there's big news today... Or maybe big news. It has to do with my vet visit.

So, the human went to the work hunt as usual this morning, and she says she had a very, very busy day. She had some products arrive to show her patients, and there were lots of them which meant a lot of unpacking for her. When she got home, she was, as usual, tired. She knew she had to take me and Dogface to the vet though, so she didn't even try to go to sleep like she usually does.

She was proud of herself cuz she managed to get a sample of the fluid that was coming from my infection on a piece of gauze so that they could have a look at it and see what colour it was. When it was my turn to be looked at, the human showed them the stuff, but it had no colour! They couldn't find any lumps or bumps or anything, and everybody was very, very confused. My human had to show them the place that she could feel under the skin. Her fingers are really good at finding small places. Eventually, they managed to find a little hole in my skin, and when they touched it, the fluid came out! It was white. The vet was a bit perplexed, cuz there was nothing to indicate that I was holding fluid. She asked if I had had my ladygardenectomy, and when the human told her no, she got very excited.

She flipped me over and had a look at my, oh, the word is not one for a ladycat to say! I'll call them what my human's cousin called them when she was just a very small peoplekitten. They looked at my nimples! I say they cuz there was a nurse there too who was good at tickling me. Even though she was good at it, I didn't like them touching my nimples. My human can do that, but only cuz I trust her.

Anyway, all the other nimples were producing the same white stuff, although in lesser quantity. The vet lady people flipped me up the right way again and had a feel of my tummy. She says she could feel something hard in there that definitely wasn't a full bladder or poopoo. She said she thought I might be pregnant.

My human got all excited then too and made her voice go all high and squeaky and surprised. The vet lady people and the nurse took me off for a scan after that, but I'd had enough. I know that when they take me away from the human they're going to do horrid things to me like collect my poo and steal my furrs and my blood, so I just wriggled and wriggled and wriggled. The end result was that they couldn't tell if I had a kitten in my tummy or not. If you ask me, that's the way it should be. Don't these vet peoples thhink that a cat deserves privacy? I know the answer. When they stoop to collecting poo, they don't know the meaning of the word, let alone the concept!

They wanted to put me to sleep and do a propper scan, but the human didn't want me to go through that, not when I'm just getting over mr Bug. She says she wants me away from the vet peoples and the chance of infection because my immune system is still recovering.

So we know at least that I don't have an infection. The hole is an inverted nimple apparently, so the human can stop worrying. Now all that remains to be seen is whether or not I have a kitten in my tummy. The human is going to take me back again when Dogface goes next Friday, just to let someone else have a feel of my yummy tummy cuz by that point I will be five weeks pregnant and they will be able to tell better by feeling if I have any babies in there. She doesn't think she's gonna let them do the sleepy scan on me as long as I'm still acting as though I'm well.

She phoned the lady people who is owned by my man friend to tell her. The lady people was very surprised and says that she really doesn't think me and the man friend got, ah, friendly. I'm not saying whether we did or not. A gentle ladycat never kisses and tells! You're just going to all have to wait and see.