Poopy human and sharp-toothed thieves

Friends, yet again, those kittens of mine have stolen something from me, but this time, I spose I should be fair and mention that they did it indirectly. They stole my blog time!






As you know, I don't bother to tippy-tap all of my things I want to say into the man in the box Computer. That's one of the principle reasons I keep the human, the other being that she can open tins of food. Up until now, she's been, well, sort of all right if you discount the times where she's been really lax and hasn't updated for me at all, but that all changed last night. As usual, she left writing till the very last thing. Yeah yeah, she says she had other things to do and was running all over the place yesterday, but we all know that a people's concept of importance is so flawed that being busy isn't an excuse. My dictation comes before meetings. It comes before stupid peoples food shopping. It definitely comes before the de-furring of the house with the sucky monster.





Anyway, she started writing our Moonspun Blog
which charts the growth and achievements of my kittens from her point of view. Again I say yeah, yeah. We all know that peoples are selfish when it comes to our needs, and that we cats are supremely unselfish. I graciously allowed her to continue in peace until she was finished, but you know what she did? She turned off Computer, put him to bed and said it was time for sleeps! Well, I was furious. I had so much to tell you all, but I couldn't. I tried tippy-tapping once or twice, but the problem is that you can't get a good foothold on the blasted keyboard. There's always little square bits melting away when you step on them, and to be honest with you, I don't like it. So I'm stuck depending on her to do it for me.





The human says that a lot of stuff that I wanted to tell you is already on the Moonspun Blog
so I suggest you pop on over there for a really quick read, as I'm certainly not gonna give her the satisfaction of listening to me repeat something she's already written!





There is something she didn't mention though. Yesterday, our really nice vet lady people, who wasn't so nice to me last time come to think of it, came to the hous. The human had asked her to come have a look at me cuz she's felt a lump in my side ever since the kittens were newborn mousies. She initially thought it was the uterus, but as it hasn't gone down yet, she thought it best that someone took a look. however, whenever she arrived, the lump went and hid itself! It does this from time to time, and the human was furious that it had happened just then. However, the vet lady people had a feel of my yummy tummy anyway and said that she thought it was my kidney. This is apparently normal in skinny cats, and I do feel like a bit of a skinny minny at the moment cuz those kittens are sucking me dry, literally! But when they weighed me, I'd put on 200 grams compared to before the pregnancy. It's very, very strange. We're going to keep a close eye on that lump, the human and I, but let's hope it's nothing terrible.





My milk flow hasn't been as good lately, and the kittens are suffering from it. They only feed for short periods before losing interest altogether. Their weights are yo-yoing, and nobody's gaining like they should. Even when the human gave me urtica stinky tablets which usually keep my milk going for days, it dried up quickly again. She wishes they weren't losing weight, but she says it's only to be expected. It's around the time when the little monsters should be weaning. Their teeth are too sharp to keep feeding anyway, so I'm not fighting her. Well, I am, but not very hard. I will push them away from the dish whenever they come too near, and if the human's feeding them from her fingers as she did yesterday to try and encourage them to eat, then I'll push the kitten out of the way and eat it myself. Oh, food always tastes so much better from my human's fingers. I don't know why I'm doing this. It's some sort of instinct, but I really don't understand it. All I know is that it has to be done. The human says that in the next few days, she might separate me from them for a few hours so that they can get a little hungry, then eat undisturbed. Porker is the only one who has actually eaten from the dish, so he'll have a head start in the weight department... As usual.





As much as I love them, and I think I do love them now, they are disgusting little monsters. they're all pooping in the bedding now, or at least, one of them is, but as none of us knows who, and the kittens aren't telling, I blame them all. That is something I can't put up with. I'm a very clean cat, and this drives me mad! How do I stop them doing this? I'm not eating this stuff. It's solid. It's one thing cleaning their bums when they're tiny and can't do it for themselves, but I'm certainly not doing that now!





Anyway, that's all for a bit. Feel free to send hate mail to my human for being horrid enough not to write for me and only consider her own selfish needs instead of my unselfish requirements. Her address is selfishpig@dontcareaboutcats.com. Also feel free to lambast her in the comments. The more discipline she gets, the better!