Tortureshell Tuesday: Playing Games

This is my favouritest thing in the world to do. I don't just mean the ordinary games where you kill the naughty feathers that the human makes bop you on the head. No, I mean the games that keep the human guessing all day long. I've mentioned a few of these before, but today's one really has her on edge.

Usually I like to be with the human, mainly to keep an eye on her and prevent her from getting into trouble or doing anything stupidly dangerous. Today though, I decided I'd had enough of her. When she sits down, I'll usually climb onto the sofa with her, but every time she's picked me up today I've jumped down and gone to lie quietly on the floor out of the way by the big windows.

You might say it's a bit mean of me, cuz I think the human thinks I might be getting sick again. Last time the first sign she had was that I stayed away from her, you see. She's disgusting enough to keep checking my bum every time I come out of the tray. She says she's looking for the evidence of runny poo. What is it with her and poo! She keeps wondering if my temperature is up, and is watching very closely to see if I start vomiting like I did last time. I'm keeping my cool though. I'm drinking lots and I'm eating well. As if I wouldn't eat!

It doesn't take much to have the human worried about me these days. If I'm too clingy, she worries that I might be sick, and if I stay away from her, the same. If I follow her all the time, she's concerned, if I don't, she asks if I'm all right. I can sort of understand it. I was pretty sick, and I know that if I was her, I wouldn't like the thought of losing me either, but honestly, this worry has to stop at some point. That's why I'm playing the game. Tomorrow I may well come back and sit with her and she'll realise that she was worried for nothing. Over time I hope that this desensitisation method will work and leave her much more stress free.

For now though, I'll keep her guessing. It's what she needs.

Our competition closes tonight, so if you haven't entered already, get commenting! We will pick the winner using random.org. May the best cat win!

Perplexing Peoples

I had planned today to continue my diatribe on the subject of toilets, and, while I still intend to do it, I've got more material than just that.

I think we might have mentioned the Hoover Lady was not coming back to the human's place any more to work with us. This meant that the human has had to go interviewing for a new hoover lady to come instead. It's hard work finding the right one, as she found out tonight.

The trouble started right as he walked in the door. He couldn't be another hoover lady cuz he wasn't a she. I pointed this out to the human, but she was too busy making polite talk noise with him, so didn't listen. It's not often that I take a dislike to peoples on sight. I'll do the propper thing and ignore them when they come in of course, but that's more my way of showing that I think it's disgusting that they usually go gaa-gaa over stupid Dogface first. Admittedly, she is barking and slobbering all over them while I'm staying well back and watching in a more dignified manner which perhaps could be seen as aloof, but that's no excuse. Even peoples should have the sense to say hello to cats first. I'll wait until they fight off the dogface, sit down and dry their hands of all her slobberstink before I will show my absolute superiority by walking onto the sofa next to them in a very quiet and gentle manner. I need no overt attention grabbing moves to ensure peoples love me!

Tonight was different though. As soon as Dogface saw the hoover lady replacement, she started growling, and it wasn't her usual growl either. This one meant business. Luckily, the human had thought to put her on her lead, so she couldn't get at him. Even when he'd sat down though, she made no attempt to come and greet him. I watched closely, but didn't like what I saw either. While he was in, I didn't once move from the arm of the sofa by the human, either to greet him or to go eat some of my foods.

The human has put in the job description that the ability to be comfortable with animals is a must. Even when Dogface was just doing her normal barking before she started growling, he seemed very nervous, and things only got worse when the human asked him about cats. he had lived with one, but get this. He expected him to hunt for a living! He only fed him very rarely, and even though he lived indoors, Hoover Lady replacement never once picked him up or cuddled him. That's outrageous! I can't believe that this replacement never even considered giving him tuna or cuddles! Luckily replacement's mum wasn't so harsh.

I'd had a chat with the human before the man people came, cuz I wanted to get my interview technique good and propper. She agreed that it must be a joint interview between the two of us, and to help proceedings along, I'd especially worked up a good case of the runny eyes. The human didn't clean it just to see if the replacement would notice. Even after prompting, he didn't say a thing about it. All he did was complain about the number of toys all over the place. That got him a massive thumbs down from me... If I had thumbs, I mean.

The human doesn't much like him either, so I guess his fate is sealed. Buh-bye, Replacement. We hardly knew ye... And I for one am glad of it!

So, on to more important things. Human toilet behaviour, part two. She must have been outraged by what I'd written yesterday, and perhaps she was just trying to prove a point, but late last night I heard what was akin to sweet music to my ears. I heard scratching from the box. It was the one in the bathroom rather than the one I'd had set up for her convenience in the living room, but still, you can't win 'em all, right? With baited breath and no small excitement I hot footed it into the bathroom to watch the human do her first propper toilet. What I first saw made me proud. She had a hand in the box and she was scratching around (human note: I use gloves and plastic bags. I have to scoop by hand to have a hope of finding the poo, but I'm hygienic, I promise!). On second sight, what I saw made me more than a little disgusted. She withdrew her hand, and my hopes with it, but that's not all she took from the box. In her clutches was, well, the same thing that the horrible vet peoples stole from me not so long ago. What on earth was she doing! I couldn't believe firstly that she would contaminate herself by touching it if she didn't have to, and secondly that she was exposing my scent to any lurking predators such as Dogface and the spider wand toy that always bops me on the head. Oh, and the feathers too. Didn't she realise the danger?

Frantically, I tried to communicate this to her, but she took no notice. What's more, there was worse to come. With absolute disbelief I watched her turn to her water bowl, open the cover that she puts on it, then drop my um, poopoo into the clean water. I was outraged, and not a little revolted. This was a dreadful way to make a point. She had obviously read between the lines and noted my contempt of human stupidity yesterday when I was speaking of how they didn't have the sense not to contaminate their own water, and now, even though I didn't engineer it that way, I'm part of that contamination. Was it coincidence that she scratched, that she made me think she was doing what I wanted to draw me in, then committed the worst sin when I was there to watch the dirty deed? Or was she removing all traces for the enemy to follow, for, although it pains me no end to admit it, next time I used that box it did smell a lot cleaner, a lot less attention drawing, and once she'd poured more water on the waste to make it go away, I couldn't smell it in the bathroom either. I am at a loss to know what is going on. Did she do it to spite me, or is she operating on instincts so deep that she doesn't even need to be taught to get rid of poopoo far away from the place of safety where you live? I'd thought they had no sensible instincts left in them, but was I wrong? I'm sorry to say that for once I have no answers. This owning the human can be very confusing at times.

There's some super news to lighten the indignity though. We've had another person enter our competition! This brings the number up to 2 and a bit. One cat left a comment saying how great Soft Claws were, but not why she wanted them or what size and colour she needed, so we're not sure if she wants to be entered or not. Still though, this leates entry means we have one more!

Thank you to all those who commented on yesterday's post. The hit counter is an excellent idea, but I'm not sure how accessible they will be with Screen Reader. That's the little man in the computer whose job it is to read all the writing to the human. He must get so tired of doing that, you know. Anyway, he's not the smartest of little men, so sometimes he can't cope with difficult coding or reading things that have graphics. One of you offered to help us put one in, and if it's Ok, we'll take you up on that and see how it goes.

Amy and her Cats said that one of these days they're going to have me as a Friends on Friday. I'm super excited about that, oh yes I am! There's also the chance that a person who makes a living out of annoying peoples and cats by pointing one of those flashy boxes at them is going to come and take pictures of me. They used to only do peoples weddings but now, sensibly, they've decided to branch out and want lots of cat pictures. I told them I thought I'd be just perfect, and they're thinking about it. If they come, the human will only have to give them moneys to feed the big metal machine (the human says it's a car but I know better) so that he can run all the way from their house to mine and back again. I'm a bit worried about this. I send her to work to get those moneys for my foods. I'm not sure I like the idea of it going into someone else's belly. He needn't think he's getting any of my tuna! If they do come though, it means lots and lotsa pictures for the blog which is super!

Anyway, enough from me for today. I need to work on sleeping off the memory of replacement.

The Human Enigma

Well, what can I say? From having very little comments when I wrote yesterday's post, I had people respond to me that I didn't even know read the blog. If a cat can be said to be humbled, I guess I was yesterday, although I'll not admit that ever again, even if I'm tortured with things as vile as tuna I can't reach! An upstanding ladycat should never confess to being humbled. And yet, it was incredibly nice to see all of the comments from peoples and cats, some of whom I didn't even realise were visiting me from day to day. Thank you all for continuing to read. It means an awful, awful lot.

Now, the title of my post speaks volumes, because the human is a bit of an inigma. On Puss-Puss' Blog
I've been discussing how the wake up habits of my human are not only inappropriate, but distressing and dangerous too. To illustrate my next point, I'll reproduce what I said to her there.

Puss-Puss, this behaviour you speak of is something my human exhibits every single day of her life. Hers is extreme, however. She maintains that she doesn't have time after the work hunt to sit down and provide a comfy, self-heating, soft place for me to sleep until I have decided that it is time to wake up. Firstly, she states that she must clean the house, wash bedding, de-fur the furniture. My answer to that is that if we are clean, that is all that matters, bedding is better when it has your scent on it and not the smell of horrid human soap, and that I spent much time and effort furring that sofa, thank you very much, and could she kindly leave it alone. She tells me she doesn't have time to listen to my complaints either. The nerve! My human has also gone a step up on the bell idea first thing in the morning. I trust that you will agree that when you sleep, it is not advisable to allow strangers into your den. You are vulnerable when you're resting, after all. My human,however, thinks it is acceptable to wake up to the sound of a myriad of peoples voices which come from a small box on the bedside table. There is even occasionally music too. I have to admit that it is a most effective waking mechanism, for it has me on alert immediately. I feel it my duty to protect the human from her own stupidity, and that involves being on the watch to save her from intruders. The thing that gets me though is that she chooses the voices. She used to have a beeping box instead, but maintained that she didn't like it because it woke her in a bad mood. I'm sorry, but waking up at all before you've finished sleeping would put anyone in a bad mood, whether it's through voices or beeping. They are strange creatures, these peoples, but their stupidity does make them indeering, no?

I am sure I am not the only cat with a human who exhibits these strange, and quite frankly worrying behaviours on a daily basis, but her latest complaint has me making some of my own.

My human uses a litterbox. It's not a propper bathroom spot, having no sand, no area to dig in, nowhere even to stand to do the business. Rather, it is a bowl filled with water. The first time I watched her use her box, I was most distressed. First of all, she sat, or at least, did the human equivalent of sitting. now even a kitten knows that if you sit down whilst going to the bathroom, you're gonna get one messy rear end, and then, what's worse, you'll be forced to clean it off to preserve your rightfully gained reputation for being one of the cleanest members of the household. That is not a pleasant mouthful as I am sure you will agree, but the human would have a worse time of it than me. Her spine is not as flexible as mine. This probably has to do with old age and the fact that she doesn't regularly do her stretching exercises against a scratching post, but the fact remains that she cannot clean herself all over as we can.

To get back to the story at hand, I watched in fascination and no little disgust as she sat down on the water bowl. I could not believe she was wilfully going to contaminate a good, clean water supply, and, as I would with any of my own kittens who attempted such a horrible trick, I shouted at her. It had absolutely no affect, and, right before my horrified eyes, she, well, she used the box that is not a box. I remember stopping dead, sitting back and just staring at her in disbelief. It was outrageous that she had not only ruined a lot of good water, but hadn't listened to my sensible warnings into the bargain.

From that moment on I took on the task of educating her to propper box uses... Or trying to. I ran with the idea that she was a newborn kitten as far as brain power was concerned. In this way, I could find it in myself to forgive her for what she'd done. She knew no better, so how could I punish her?

As I would with my own, I called the human, and for once she came. I made a show of walking to the box, then called her again, just to make sure she had her full attention on me. I then climbed into the box and, in the politest of ladycat fashions, I did what I needed to. I'm not always quite that austentacious, but she is a lady-human, and needs to be set a standard for manners. I scratched around in there for quite a time, making a lot of noise to show her that I was burying the nasty. I knew I needed to do this to combat the fact that her eyes did not work. When I exited the box, I did the mummycat to kitten chirrup at her to tell her what a pleasurable experience it was, then called her to let her know it was her turn.

Now, were she a kitten, even the most dim-minded of the litter, she would have attempted to clamber into the tray and copy me, even if it did take a little urging. I urged her all right, but she simply looked puzzled and asked if I was feeling all right.

Friends, whenever she is around I repeat this education. I will accept that it sometimes takes a few demonstrations before kittens get the hang of what they are supposed to be doing, but after months, she was still ruining the water, and seeming quite content to do so. I demanded that a box be brought into the living room so that I could ensure she had full hearing of my actions whenever I decided to go. Through a judicious use of crying, scratching and leaving litterbox presents on her sofa, I finally convinced her to move it. But it was to no avail.

I will call to her every time I come from my box demonstration, hoping against hope that one day the penny will drop and she'll come to the box like a good human for her toileting. Bug has heard me do this when the human is talking to him on the phone, and the pair find it highly amusing. I don't. It takes a lot of effort to keep up the manners and the demonstrating all the time, and they don't seem to appreciate that.

I still fail, after wracking my brains, to understand why humans choose to go to the bathroom in such an undignified and frankly dangerous manner. At their most compromised they are still visible, and they don't have anywhere to bury the waste to throw other animals off their scent. What is more, they contaminate good drinking water, and while I know that there is usually a lot in the bowls for me and Dogface, the human is reduced to drinking it from bottles. That bowl is human sized, so I can't understand why it doesn't click with her that if she stopped putting her waste in there, she'd have no need to ration herself to bottles. Her bowl is self filling and everything, but no matter how many times it does this and sweeps away the waste, she's just right back there the next time.

Do any of you have explannations for this? Is it a behaviour you have witnessed in your peoples? Have you had any more success than I in training them out of this worrying habit? Is there an instinctual reason why they do this which I am simply not aware of?

Saturday Stuff

Yet again, it's been a while since we blogged. The human says she's feeling less driven to write lately, because we're not sure how many peoples are reading us any more. I've explained to her the fact that it's a vicious circle. If she doesn't write down my dictations every day when I give her them, peoples are going to read us less. She displays her stupidity with worrying regularity, does she not?

Well, it seems as though the competition has been a resounding flop. One cat is interested in the give away so far. To be honest, this one even took me aback. I was expecting that, like every other competition on the CB, we'd have lots of entrants.

The human and I have been thinking about this a lot over the last week, and have come to a reluctant conclusion, which we'd love to have proved wrong. It seems as though others visit blogs to look at pictures rather than to read what's written there. Wordless Wednesday is a classic example of this. Puss-Puss
also seems to be coming up against the same problems. She is one of the most wise cats I have ever come across. She studies peoples behaviour and offers insights that I, even after living with peoples for all of my life, haven't considered. Yet, since Whicky's post on the CB about her drew readers, I've been the only one to go visit her and leave comments on a regular basis. Is it coincidence that she often posts no pictures either?

My human says I'm starting to sound whiney. I resent that comment, because everybody knows that it's Dogfaces that whine, not us more sensible cats. For her sake more than yours, I'll clarify (we cats understand how it is, so I'm sorry I have to take a moment to spell it out for her slower brain). I am not saying that other peoples and cats leaving comments defines whether I will continue blogging or not. It's just that it's nice to know that writing is appreciated, that's all. I was considering having a CB event encouraging all of you to post one post which tells a story without pictures, but I tried that with my Tortureshell, and it had one participant for one week. I guess pictures are just the way to go.

Anyway, enough of my self pity. I have some exciting news. This is all very hush hush at the moment, but we could be having a celebrity guest star on here very soon, who has tentatively agreed to having a regular slot. When I say celebrity, she's a celebrity only to certain peoples, namely one Bug. You'll have to keep your eyes peeled for more information though. I'm bound to say no more until contracts have been finalised, and treat fees discussed and agreed. Oh, I hope she's not too expensive! I love my Dreamies too much to part with lots of them.

My human has the day off the work hunt today, which I'm loving. It meant we got to stay in bed much longer this morning. She's put a new blanket on there too, so it's really cosy and warm now.

We had another trip to the vet peoples yesterday. Dogface had to go for her hydro, and I needed to have a scan to see about those kittens. I decided that I would cooperate this time. It was the vet man people who saw me when I stayed in hospital. He was the one who got me better enough to go home though, so I guess he's not quite as bad as the others. I stayed nice and still for him, and even tenderised his arm a bit with my claws, to show my affection, you know? Well, I can't have him thinking I'm a totally easy patient. It gives them a false sense of their own importance, makes them think they can get away with more than they have a right to.

The worst bit about those scans is the horrible gel stuff they put on my yummy tummy. Even though this vet man people was good enough to clean most of it off, he's nowhere near as thorough as we are. They never quite manage to get it all, and I'm forced to do it myself. It tastes yucky, and feels nasty when it's on my fur. There's always something unpleasant about going to the vet, isn't there?

As it turns out, I do not have kittens in my tummy, but am continuing to produce milk. Oh, I do so love playing games with my human. It keeps my days interesting. The vet peoples say it's because my hormones are probably all over the place from when I was with my man friend. Honestly though, if you other ladycats had seen him, your hormones would be in a whirl as well. He's quite the handsome picture. Why do peoples feel the need to state the obvious? It's hardly rocket science that I'd still be thinking about him.

The Admiral
would be quite proud of me, I'm sure, for I sang my heart out both on the way there and on the way back. I did Christmas songs. I did old old favourites like Three Blind Mice, I did classical opera, and when I got really frustrated, I sang "Tia Claws are Coming to Town" right into my human's face through the bars of the PTU. In her usual thick-headed way though, she took no notice, and just asked me to be quiet. I also took no notice. The human is not to be listened to when she is in one of those "what I say goes" moods. It's not good for her to have these delusions of grandure attended to as though they were true.

So, we're back at home. Dogface is sleeping as usual, I am thinking about sleeping and the human is tippy-tapping away, for once, being a good secretary. Happy Saturday to you all, and happy winning on the competition... Hopefully.

Tortureshell Tuesday, Winning and Give-Away

I have so many tortureshells to talk about this week that I don't even know where to begin!

There's my human, for one. She's gotten really bad at writing down my dictations. I still talk to her every day, but whereas before she was an attentive secretary, lately, she's turned into nothing but a lazy lay-about. It's been four whole days since my last post, and she's only doing it tonight cuz I guilted her into thinking that I'd lose all my friends if she didn't start blogging for me again.

Then there's the Soft-Claws/Paws. They're the same thing really, sept one is marketted at Dogfaces and the other at cats. Thanks to all of you who suggested peoples for my human to talk to. In typical human fashion, she didn't contact them. She says she just didn't get round to doing it, but that doesn't mean she isn't grateful for the advice anyway.

The Soft-Claws arrived on Saturday. I'm not going to go into too much detail about what they are right now and how they look,etc, cuz I'm planning to do that later on when a problem has been resolved. When the human put these things on me, she made a new rule.

Rule 2 gazillion. you shall not use your teeth to remove these from your claws. I am putting them on to give your poor neck a chance to heal. Respect the fact that I'm doing this for your own good, for once.

For my own good? She said the vet peoples were poking and prodding me and stealing my unmentionable for my own good, but I don't see what great stuff that got me other than a couple of days in a horrible jail that stank of the other sick cats around me! So having caps put on my claws, even if they were comfortable, was not my idea of a great thing! Accordingly, as soon as she turned her back (well, actually, left for the work hunt) I set to work with my teeth. I managed to get three of them off by the time she came home, and then another one before the night was out. I don't know why my human is suggesting that's a tortureshell. I think it's pretty good going, myself. The human wasn't impressed. She got a people to come over this morning and help her fit me back up with them. The problem is that they're too big though. The company sent me the wrong size. If you're going to have things on your claws, they should at least be the correct size, right? So rather than being a tortureshell, I'm staging a protest against inappropriate sizing. Is the fact that they're too big my human suggesting that she thinks I'm fatter than I actually am? I'll not stand for that!

As well as being busy with her job, my human has been having tortureshell problems of her own. The job has taken a turn for the worse, and someone in the block of apartments we live in has been opening the human's post and taking packages delivered to us. She caught them at it tonight, and has called the police again, so hopefully this time, something will be done. I get punished for Tortureshelling, so why shouldn't this nasty man people and his lady people! This has been getting the human down a lot. She says she likes to be cheerful when she blogs so that she can give other peoples a piece of the smile she's feeling, so she hasn't wanted to write lately cuz she doesn't want to give peoples a piece of the frown instead.

We have brighter news though. We won! The animals over at Marg's Place
saved all of their allowances for ages and ages so that they could offer a prize... And I won! It's a gift certificate for the coolest toy shop ever! As soon as we sort out the details, I'm gonna get my human to order 251 of each thing that they've got, just for me! Marg's Animals, I hope you didn't have to sacrifice too much of your yummy foods allowance to get this for me. Thank you lots and lots and lots!

We have other good news too. The nice peoples at Soft Paws and Claws
Are giving us some things to do an absolutely pawesome give away. Every week from now until Christmas, this blog will be giving one lucky reader the chance to win a six month supply of Soft-Claws. You can choose the colour and size to suit, and, provided peoples from other countries will help with postage costs, they can enter too! Please spread the word. Soft Claws do lots of things like prevent scratching of the furniture (Ok, the human says this is a good thing, but personally, I think that sofas don't look their best until they've had a good claw raking). They also stop you scratching at your, ahem, collar and neck, not that I'd ever, ever do a thing like that, nuh uh, not me! They prevent injuries if you are fighting with your family members all of the time, which is worth it even if all it does is stop your peoples squalking at you that you should stop before you make the loser bleed! They mean that you can play with peoplekittens and old peoples too without hurting them by accident. You won't want these if you meet other cats outside though. Those, you do want to make bleed if they get on your turf, and Soft Claws will stop you from doing that. They might actually win the fight then cuz they have an unfair advantage. Guess what though? They don't blunt your teeth! Hah!

I feel the need to say that Soft Claws are absolutely not a fashion statement, even if they do come in funky colours. They're not the equivalent of false nails either. A lot of people think they're cruel cuz they appear unnecessary and frivellous. My human an dI tell things as they are, even if the peoples at the company are really nice, so trust us when we say they're not in the least bit cruel or nasty. An inconvenience yes, and something to be rebelled against, definitely, but not cruel. They serve a very specific purpose. They're quite comfy too, and the best bit is that I can still scratch on everything like my scratching post. I'm mostly making a fuss just as a token gesture of tortitude. Can't have the human thinking she's won after all, can I!

I'm going to make this first week easy. Each week I'll ask you to do a different thing, but from now until next Wednesday, please go and look at the Soft Paws and Claws website
Then come back here and leave a comment. Tell us what size and colour you'd like and one good reason why you'd like Soft Claws. The contest will close at midnight GMT on 30 November. Winners will be announced in the new weekly feature, Wednesday Winners!

Good luck to you all. Get clawing!

Female Friday

Well, there's big news today... Or maybe big news. It has to do with my vet visit.

So, the human went to the work hunt as usual this morning, and she says she had a very, very busy day. She had some products arrive to show her patients, and there were lots of them which meant a lot of unpacking for her. When she got home, she was, as usual, tired. She knew she had to take me and Dogface to the vet though, so she didn't even try to go to sleep like she usually does.

She was proud of herself cuz she managed to get a sample of the fluid that was coming from my infection on a piece of gauze so that they could have a look at it and see what colour it was. When it was my turn to be looked at, the human showed them the stuff, but it had no colour! They couldn't find any lumps or bumps or anything, and everybody was very, very confused. My human had to show them the place that she could feel under the skin. Her fingers are really good at finding small places. Eventually, they managed to find a little hole in my skin, and when they touched it, the fluid came out! It was white. The vet was a bit perplexed, cuz there was nothing to indicate that I was holding fluid. She asked if I had had my ladygardenectomy, and when the human told her no, she got very excited.

She flipped me over and had a look at my, oh, the word is not one for a ladycat to say! I'll call them what my human's cousin called them when she was just a very small peoplekitten. They looked at my nimples! I say they cuz there was a nurse there too who was good at tickling me. Even though she was good at it, I didn't like them touching my nimples. My human can do that, but only cuz I trust her.

Anyway, all the other nimples were producing the same white stuff, although in lesser quantity. The vet lady people flipped me up the right way again and had a feel of my tummy. She says she could feel something hard in there that definitely wasn't a full bladder or poopoo. She said she thought I might be pregnant.

My human got all excited then too and made her voice go all high and squeaky and surprised. The vet lady people and the nurse took me off for a scan after that, but I'd had enough. I know that when they take me away from the human they're going to do horrid things to me like collect my poo and steal my furrs and my blood, so I just wriggled and wriggled and wriggled. The end result was that they couldn't tell if I had a kitten in my tummy or not. If you ask me, that's the way it should be. Don't these vet peoples thhink that a cat deserves privacy? I know the answer. When they stoop to collecting poo, they don't know the meaning of the word, let alone the concept!

They wanted to put me to sleep and do a propper scan, but the human didn't want me to go through that, not when I'm just getting over mr Bug. She says she wants me away from the vet peoples and the chance of infection because my immune system is still recovering.

So we know at least that I don't have an infection. The hole is an inverted nimple apparently, so the human can stop worrying. Now all that remains to be seen is whether or not I have a kitten in my tummy. The human is going to take me back again when Dogface goes next Friday, just to let someone else have a feel of my yummy tummy cuz by that point I will be five weeks pregnant and they will be able to tell better by feeling if I have any babies in there. She doesn't think she's gonna let them do the sleepy scan on me as long as I'm still acting as though I'm well.

She phoned the lady people who is owned by my man friend to tell her. The lady people was very surprised and says that she really doesn't think me and the man friend got, ah, friendly. I'm not saying whether we did or not. A gentle ladycat never kisses and tells! You're just going to all have to wait and see.

Tired Thursday

We never seem to be anything else lately, do we? The human is still finding it really hard to stay awake in the evenings when she comes back from the work hunt. Truth be told, she's finding it hard to stay awake even at the work hunt. They're obviously not making her hunt hard enough if she has time to think about sleeping! In brighter news though, she received a contact from what she calls a "possible future job". I'm not sure what a job is, but she says that's the peoples word for the hunt. Honestly, I don't know why they don't just use the propper words for things. Why do they have to over-complicate everything? I think it's to make themselves feel more important cuz they can use big or different words. Doesn't mean they're correct though.

Anyway, the human says that she gave some peoples some papers a little while ago that told them how great she was (a resume or a CV, I think she called them). Again, if you ask me, it's over-complicating things. All you have to do is show my human your yummy tummy and you'll soon work out how great she is. Her tummy tickling is the best! So, these peoples sent her a letter this week saying that they are recruiting physiotherapists, and please would she apply. Of course, she said yes. She's in the middle of writing more papers to tell them how great she is, and why she's the only one for the job. Weren't the first ones good enough? She obviously doesn't think so. She says this one just asks for more detail. It's called an application form. No wonder she's tired with all that writing!

Me, on the other hand, well, I do what I've always done. I lie around and sleep most of the day. I also play, and I've discovered a new thing that I like. My human has this thing she holds that has a dangly, bouncy string on the end. Attached to that are some feathers, and boy are they fun to hunt! We've had this toy for a good few months, but I did the propper ladycat thing and ignored it, just to show it its position, you understand, until I was good and ready to play with it. Over the last few weeks, the human has been teasing me with it; bouncing it in front of me, making the feathers attack my head and yummy tummy. I've just walked away from it. I've been interested, yes, but I can't have a feather string thinking it can make me play whenever it wants! I pounced on it once or twice, but then just left it alone. My human doesn't think I was ever shown a wand toy in my other homes. She says she's not seen a cat who backed away from them so consistently. Mummycat did the same thing too.

This morning, I was running all over the room, attacking my human's feet under the duvet and, in her words, "making a general pest of myself." Even though it was early, she thought it would be a prime opportunity, and went to find the feather string. It danced on the floor in front of me. I ignored it. It jumped on the bed. I crouched, but didn't go after it. Then it bonked me on the head, right between my ears! That was enough for me. Quick as a wink I flipped on my back, grabbed the feathers and... lost them! They flew high up and boinged on me again! I couldn't keep hold of them!

After that, all bets were off. Feathers think they're better than me, do they? Think they can boing me then run away, do they? I don't think so. I chased and chased and chased them. On and off the bed, along the floor, even up the wall once. Sometimes I missed them altogether, but when I did catch them, I hung on and killed them until they were good and dead! They didn't stay dead for long though. Even when the human got back into bed, I wasn't convinced they were really dead, even though they stayed very still on the floor where she'd dropped them. I stalked closer, then pounced... And they were mine! I dragged them from one side of the room to the other, and this time, I killed them good! They even stayed dead when I was done with them. I have buried them under the human's bed ready to play with again tonight when she does the snore noise thing.

I think I've decided I like feather strings. Do any of you think they're good fun? Do yours come back to life too? If so, do you have any tricks for killing them dead even when your people is still bringing them back to life? Hunting is fun!

To finish off, my human caught me scratching again this morning, and says I'm making another scab on my neck. She says while I was in the vet they put a collar on so that I couldn't scratch, and the scab had healed nicely. I didn't scratch for a while after that, so she thinks it's the itching of the healing cut that makes me do it more, and that, if I'd just give my skin a rest, they might go away for good. She has ordered something called Soft Claws from the computer box for me. She says she had to give some of her moneys for them which I was worried about cuz we really don't have a lot at the minute thanks to mr bug, but that if it keeps my skin better, she doesn't mind going easy on the food shopping this month. As long as it's not my food shopping she's intending to go easy on! Have any of you ever used these before? The human says they won't hurt me and that they just slip on over my claws to blunt the tips, but I'm not so sure I like that idea. If you've used them, did you like them Ok? The human says she'd like peoples thoughts too. She's not sure she's done the right thing in ordering, but she says my skin is important enough to try it.

I can't say see you tomorrow, cuz thanks to my human and her not blogging every day, I don't know if I will! Silly human.

Apologies

Yes, they are needed. That human of mine is slacking on the blog front! She says it's cuz she's so tired. After having two weeks of being sick, she says she's not used to going back to the work hunt and working hard, long, busy hours to get the moneys for my food. I tell her it'll be Ok, she'll get used to it soon. She says she always intends to blog for me when she gets home, but by the time the evening comes, she's so tired that she usually falls asleep on the sofa with me for company. When she wakes up, it's time for bed, so she doesn't have time to use the computer. Today I've made her type for me before she starts snoring.

Nothing terribly exciting has happened around here, sept that I got a new nip toy! This one is a mousie with a very, very long tail. He's fun to bite and kick and throw, but only for a little while. He's not the carrot, but he's a reasonably good substitution.

Dogface is doing Ok. She hasn't been sick or anything since we got her back from the vet peoples. My tummy thing isn't doing so good though. The human thinks I have an infection from where they put the line in to give me fluids. Under my right armpit sometimes gets very wet and there's pus there. It only happens about once every two days or so, and it never gets swolen in between. The human can't feel any lumps or anything under my skin. She actually thought I was dribbling on myself the first time it happened. That would explain my furs getting wet. Dribbling? Does she think I'm old or unclean or something? I, don't, dribble! The nerve of some humans! The only reason she worked out what it was was because when she was stroking me, my fur went from dry to wet right under her fingers. That soon shut up her talk about dribbling. Dribbling!

She has to take Dogface back to the vet peoples on Friday for her hydrotherapy, so she says that I can take a trip with her then to get checked out. The infection isn't causing me any pain that she can see. It definitely isn't stopping me whapping my ping pong balls around anyway! For now, she's going to try and get a sample of the pus on a bit of gauze next time it decides to esplode, so that the vet peoples can see the colour of it if they need to. She has warned me that when I go to the vet they might have to do more shaving to look at my skin closely. I plan to make a token protest about that, because having my yummy tummy shaved is bad enough, without my armpits being done too! They wanna shave me, they're gonna have ta fight to steal my furs.

I think it is my friend Hestorb who sings all the way to the vets whenever her people takes her. I've decided to try this this time in the car. If you have any requests for favourite songs, get them in now and I'll do my best to work them into my repertoire!

Thoughtful and Tired

I'm the thoughtful one. The human is the tired one. She says she needs a holiday after all this sickness. She just can't seem to get her strength back, and is sleeping a lot. It's Ok though. I don't mind. I help her sleep.

We didn't blog yesterday, but that was for a good reason. We are so sick of telling you about sad things, and there was more sadness yesterday, well, on Friday actually. The human said she wasn't going to blog again until she had something reasonably good to tell you. Late late on Friday night, well, just after she came back from hydro, actually, Dogface's runny poo bum returned. Later that night, she started to be sick, and threw up six times in twenty minutes. The human just burst into tears. It was all over the carpet, everywhere. Dogface doesn't stand still when she pukes, you see, and it was so late and the human was so tired of all this that she just hung her head and asked herself if she could cope with any more. Then she got down on her hands and knees to find the puke.

This is no fun when your eyes are broke. I know because I've watched her clean a lot over the last few weeks. She has to get dirty before she can get clean. What I mean is that her hands have to touch the puke so that she knows where to wipe. She has a weak stomach too, so she ended up adding to the mess herself. I felt quite sorry for her, but my paws aren't built for holding peoples wipey things, so I just watched and stayed well out of the way.

The human tried to call the on-call person at Guide Dogs for help, but conveniently, bearing in mind it was a Friday night, his phone went straight to answerphone. So the human took matters into her own hands and called the pet ambulance. We couldn't go in a taxi because Dogface kept throwing up, and there was nobody else to help. She was stupid once by accepting a car ride to the vet with a stranger, but at that time of night, she knew she couldn't risk it.

The human put me in the bedroom then, cuz she didn't want me walking through the puke and getting re-infected. I heard the ambulance manpeople arrive, and when he saw the human and the state she was in, he agreed to help her clean the kitchen floor which was also flooded in puke, when she asked him for help. Thank you, nice ambulance manpeople!

They took Dogface to the vet, and she was almost puking all the way there. When they took her temperature, some runny poo even came out on the thermometer, so the human was surprised Dogface hadn't gone on the floor in the vet's office. Needless to say, they kept her in.

We've only just got her home, and the human is frustrated. As soon as she got there, the symptoms disappeared. It's very weird. If we got sick as soon as we came home, then took a day or two to get better at the vets, the human would think that it was something in the house making us sick, but we don't do that. We are fine for all different amounts of time when she brings us home, then we get sick, then clear up straight away when she brings us to the vet. I do it because I don't want them to poke and prod me, and am smart enough to realise that if I don't show them runny poo, they won't do much. But to imply that Dogface is just as smart is ludicrous! Everyone knows Dogfaces are stupid. So there's gotta be another reason.

The human is starting to think that the vet peoples don't believe her any more when she brings us in, but she says she's going to keep going anyway if and when it's serious. For now, Dogface is sleeping very, very deeply on her bed, an I am indignant. I have a small spot on my tummy that is oozing pus from time to time, so the human has decided to bathe it in salt water. Do you have any idea how disgusting that stuff is to lick off? Well, she obviously doesn't! She even syringes it on so it gets right the way down into my furs and against my skin. That means an awful lot of extra work to rid myself of it! Human, you are a pain in the neck!

She also through my catnip carrot in the bin. I can't believe she did this! She says it's soft, furry and gets damp when I chew on it, so she's worried it could be harbouring the bug. It gets thrown around the floor, so if that's where it's living, it's a good place for it if it jumps onto the carrot. My cube and tunnel went too. I don't really care about the tunnel, and she says she has more cubes in the special room where Mummycat used to live, but I can't have one until I'm all better and Dogface has stopped trying to ruin the carpets, and the human's stomach! I still have my ping pong balls though, so it's not all bad.

The human goes back to the work hunt tomorrow. I think I'm really going to miss her. She's been my constant companion for the last few weeks, after all. I guess I need to battle on with it though. After all, my food is important, and so are her moneys!

Finally Friday

The human loves Fridays because they mean that the next two days are days she doesn't have to go to the work hunt. So you can imagine my confusion today when she said "Oh, it's Friday. That means I get to go back to work on Monday!" What? I was confused. How could she change her mind like that? She says it's because she's had too much time at home, but all I can do is shake my head. Peoples are so inconsistent!

I'm secretly glad that she's considering going back to the work hunt though. Even though I know she was staying at home to look after me and get well herself, it's a bit of a worry that she hasn't gone in in ages. The longer she stays at home, the less moneys she will have to swap for my foods at the place where they take the moneys.

I didn't make the human post for me yesterday cuz there isn't really much to say. We're all just sleeping a lot. Dogface has managed to stay awake a little today, but me and the human make our eyes shut every time we snuggle.

The human is also a little worried today. She thinks my runny poo has come back. She's not sure because it's so liquid that it just soaks straight through the litter so she doesn't know if it's pee or poo. I'm too polite to answer the question when she asks me which it is. I'm Ok though. I'm not obviously dehydrated or anything, so I've told her just to wait and see how things progress. She's watching me very, very closely though.

Yesterday was the last time I got stinky wet food. The human says she was only giving me it cuz it's easier to digest and that I don't need it any more. I disagree though. It's so much nicer than the dried stuff. I am going to work on her and see if I can get any more out of her, but after the last fiasco with the home made chicken and turkey, she says she's not in a rush to cook up anything fancy. Who knows. I might get fish tonight!

We're in for a quiet weekend, I hope. There is a lot of strange howling outside the house which the human says is wind. It's a bit spooky late at night, and I'm kinda glad I don't have to go out in it. The human says it's very strong, and that if I went out it might even blow me over. The wind must be a very, very big thing! I don't think I'll go meet him until I get my strength back up.

Stupid Dogface has her fifth session of hydro tonight. The human doesn't want to go out of the house, but she knows she has to. She's been groaning about it ever since she remembered the hydro was tonight. That's what she gets for owning a stupid Dogface! She saw Dogface's bones vet when the human picked us up from hospital. He said that he didn't see a need to retire her, but Guide Dogs disagree. The human has a suspicion that they're retiring her more because she walks funny than because she's uncomfortable. It's bad PR for them to have a dog out that is less than perfect, and they know it. She talked to the HG about this, and the HG told her stories about her own experience with Guide Dogs that confirmed her suspicions. If the human didn't think Molly was going to a super home, she'd fight the retirement, but she knows Molly will be happier as a pet anyway, so she's going to let them think they've won this time.

Sensibly, she says she doesn't know if she'll ask for another Dogface once this one goes. She wants to see if she can manage without one. They're a big commitment, and if she can cope without making that, she's decided she will.

In any case, enough about Dogfaces. This blog is about me! I think I'm going to send some pictures in for the CB calendar. I'd kinda like to be a calendar cat. It would go with my top model show career after all, wouldn't it? Hopefully I'll get to go on April's page, cuz that's when my birthday is. Watch this space!

Tortureshell... Wednesday?

What! No getting on my case! I was sick yesterday, Ok? I had to get my energy back together before I embarked on a Tortureshell, so this one's a bit late.

Me and the human have been sleeping an awful lot, and so has stupid Dogface. The human says that it's normal to sleep when you're recovering from something that's been hard on the body. I tell her that we cats sleep all the time anyway. We understand the merrits of minimum effort for maximum gain far better than any other species, but I suppose she has a point when it comes to her and Dogface.

The human would like to commend the idea of vomiting all over unhelpful, nasty bean vets (apparently that's what peoples vets are called). Actually, I might employ the technique myself when I next go to the real vet. It disgusted the human when I almost vomited on her foot when I was sick, so if I get it on the vet lady or man peoples, it's sure to work good! Thank you so, so much for the new weapon in my arsenal against disgusting vets!

I've discovered a new game which is very, very fun. As I've said, i've been slepeing a lot, but when I do propperly wake up, and I don't just mean that eyes half open stumble in the general direction of the food bowl to eat then flop down again kind of awake, the human describes me as manic. I run, I jump, I whap things, and this is where the new play idea comes in. I've always known that the human's feet are good to attack whenever they're under her blankets at sleepy time. However, I didn't realise that it would be fun to jump from the top of the bureaux right onto her feet, teeth and claws working intently, before springing off, diving under the bed and coming up on the other side. It's also fun to creep to the side of the bed where her back is, then lean back, take a good look up. There's an art to this next bit. You have to pick your target with care. It must be somewhere that will cause maximum shock value for the human, but not close enough that she can grab you with the mummycat scruff move that makes you go limp and still before she tells you off. Mine was her bum.

You also have to make sure that you're on and off that bed at lightning speed so that your peoples will wonder just what exactly hit them. Accordingly, and with this in mind, I crouched, leapt, and landed.

It went as spectacularly as I'd hoped it would, actually, maybe a bit more spectacularly. I landed right on target, front paws planted squarely, claws out, right on that huge bum of hers. Just to molify the peoples readers, I'm not being rude about her bum, but when you're my size, it is huge whatever way you look at it.

The blanket was thinner than usual (we were washing the old one to help Mr Bug on his way, and we had our old old one on the bed instead), so my claws sank in perhaps a little deeper than they strictly needed to for the desired effect. I jumped back as she came out of a light doze with a shriek of mingled shock and outrage. Quick as a wink, she whipped her hand under that blanket and... Well, I was off that bed very quickly. She'd helped me on my way! How dare she!

I jumped to the top of the bureaux where I know I'm not allowed (it's one small step from there to the window and then to pulling the curtains down... Can you tell I've had experience in these important matters?), and just as she was half rising to get me off there, I launched the second attack. Her feet were my goal, and I got 'em! With another shriek, her foot got me. Again, for the sake of clarification, the human never hurts me. She doesn't even come close. When her foot got me, it nudged me off the bed, but the indignity of it hurt enough that I feel the need to tell you about it! For the second time, I found myself on the floor, and not by my own design!I hoped, as I landed, that she wasn't starting to get it into her head that she had a right to dictate what went on in that bed, and that if she didn't like it, she could just kick me off. The nerve of some peoples!

I contented myself with running around the sleep room really, really fast. The human says I was almost bouncing off the walls, but really I was doing a lightning quick scan to find the next best place to launch an attack from. I decided on the side of the bed, and prepared to launch my best attack yet.

I crouched. I tensed my jump muscles. I twitched the tip of my tail for good measure. Then I sprang. The human whipped around in the bed, and I miaowed. I stood perfectly still. Nothing happened. I miaowed again. Slowly, her hand came towards me. Even more slowly, it began to tickle my chest, just the way I like it. I moved closer, now purring. Then I suddenly let my legs go, flopped on my back, grabbed her hand in my front paws and pretended I was going to bite it. I only cuddled it, but I made her jump all the same. My attack was finished by me wriggling in against her warm tummy, stretching my paws above my head, and giving her the tiniest little kitten is lonely miaow all mixed up with a purr. This combined with the yummy tummy on such prominent display was too much for her and she started to tickle.

I was victorious, and I knew it. Not only was I getting a tummy rub, but I was also lulling her into a false sense of security. This means that next time I jump on the bed, her foot won't get me before I get it, because she'll always wonder if I might be coming for cuddles. You've gotta keep 'em guessing, folks, even when you and they are ill! Some of you may think it's cruel for me to pick on the human this way when she's sick, but just look at the reaction I got. She went from sleepy to wide awake, and she didn't even need any stinky medicine to do it! Sometimes, you gotta take nursing to the next level.

Ah, Tortureshells. Don't ya just love 'em?

Reprieve?

Perhaps so, and perhaps not. For one thing, I didn't have to stay with the horrible vet for a whole day. I went and they had a look at me and kept me for a few hours, but then they said I could come home. They let stupid dogface come home too, cuz apparently her poopoo is normal now. Why do they focus so much on poopoo! Don't they realise how disgusting they are?

The human went to her vet again yesterday, and got very, very angry. Even though she was dizzy enough that she was struggling to stand, so dehydrated that her tongue was sticking to her mouth and hadn't managed to eat in over 24 hours, her vet wouldn't do anything for her. They were very, very rude to her too. She says she won't go into all the details here because it makes her too angry, but to sum it all up in a few sentences, her vet said, "You're young. You're fit. You can fight it. Just go home." She advised the human to go to a chemist and buy electrolites, ludicrous when she's so dizzy she can't stay on her feet, and when she doesn't have stupid dogface to help her find the chemist. The vet doctor didn't care. She made them take a poo sample for testing (more poo!), and they grudgingly sent it off. We'll know in five days from now what her results are.

So she came home, made up a bed on the sofa, dragged herself to get me and stupid dogface, then came home and slept almost straight away. I cuddled up on her. Even though I felt a bit ill myself, I climbed up on her and curled up right on her chest. She was too cold and I was too warm,so I figured a heat exchange was the way to go! Next thing we knew, it was time for the real bed.

The human managed to get some water down her last night, and after two days of not eating, a little bit of a sandwich this morning. I was glad of that. I don't like her not eating. It's worrying.

I have decided that I don't much care for being sick. So, let me give a message to Mr Bug.

Dear Mr Bug,
Whilst we didn't invite you, it was very nice of you to drop by. I hope you have had a good time at our house and the vet peoples house too. As rude as it is to say though, I'm afraid that we must part ways. Myself, the human and even stupid Dogface have other engagements which means that we can no longer play host to you. I would invite you back, but as you've already seen all we have to offer over an extended dperiod, your stay may well be more enjoyable elsewhere. I hear the other side of the universe is nice this time of year. Safe trip.
Yours,
Tia

I hope Mr Bug is polite enough to listen. Between you and me, I really am quite sick of his company now... No pun intended!

So far, I'm hot, but I haven't done any of the bad poopoos and I am keeping myself hydrated, or so the human thinks. Dogface is normal and the human will get there. She needs help, but as none is likely to come, she's just going to have to carry on trying. Eating and cleaning the bug out of the house are going to be the things she finds hardest. She just doesn't have the energy to cook. I'll help her by lying on her and snuggling and purring. If this makes her not want to get up even more, that's not my fault!

Very Buick Note

Tia's diarrhoea is back, so off we go to the vet again this morning. I'm also feeling awful myself. Dizzy, dehydrated, sick, diarrhoea. Because of this and not being able to eat or drink very much at all, I'm going to take myself to the hospital and see what they suggest. They may well keep me in, and if they do, I obviously won't be blogging for a while. I will update you when I can.

Beware of Disgusting Vets!

It's been too long since I last had a chance to write, and if you ask me, the human was starting to enjoy posting just a little bit too much for my liking. She actuallly had the nerve to tell me today that it's weird to start writing for me again. I don't see what's so weird about just typing what I tell her to.

Well, I've been through a lot this week, and some of it so undignified that I don't even know how to talk about it. Peoples are absolutely disgusting, you know that? My human was the start of it. Ok, so my tummy was upset and when I used the box, a little of it got on me and wouldn't come off, but that's no excuse to come at me with a wet thing and try and get my fur wet! That, I know, would just add to the problem. Nasty poo is easier to clean off when it's dry, as every cat knows, but she kept muttering about not wanting me to clean it with my tongue, and how she didn't want it on her carpets. She thinks I growled because I was unwell. I growled because I'd hadit with her idiocy. After all, a cat's tongue is specifically designed for detangling and cleaning fur, and we don't leave it soaking wet and smelling funny! I just didn't have the energy to thwap her though, so I suffered the indignity.

But it wasn't over there. I spent a long time at the vet's place. I might have revised my opinion on them. The ones I usually see are fine, but these ones put me in a cage, and my bed, my food and my litter were all close together! This is bad enough under normal circumstances, but when you have, erm, the runs, it's awful! Imagine doing that near where you have to eat and sleep!

They started doing things to me. They put a sharp thing in my paw that pumped cold stuff that looked like water into my body. That made me feel less hot and grumpy. They gave me really nice food, but that didn't make up for what was coming next!

They stole my fur! To make matters worse, they didn't even test it for anything! The lady vet said she needed to take it off to do an abdominal scan, but I know she took it away and just kept it all for herself! Anybody who knows me knows that if you ask, I'll happily fur up peoples clothes and, welll, just them in general, but she didn't even do that! They took all of the fur on my yummy tummy, and I never thought I'd say this, but it does not enhance its yumminess! It feels so weird to groom that spot, and I don't even like anyone touching it if I'm honest with you.

You think that's bad? There is far worse to come. I don't know how to say this. A ladycat should never talk about this kind of thing, but I think you need to know just how disgusting vet peoples can be. They didn't only steal my fur. They stole some of my, some, some of my poopoo! I promise you, I'm not telling lies. They kept me there, and every time I buried it in the litter, they came along and took it away and put it in a pot in a fridge! I can't tell you how much the thought revolts me. What are they going to do with poopoo? Even peoples can't have a use for that, surely! I don't know why they wanted it. The human says testing, but what's to test? Poo is poo!

They sent me home not long after that. Even though I still wasn't feeling my usual yummy self, I was glad to be here. The human doesn't have cages that I have to live in. I could get down and run around and do all the crazy things with ping pong balls that I'd been dying to do for almost a week! I have been cuddling the human much more today than yesterday. She's being pretty silly. Yesterday she worried because I hardly cuddled her which isn't normal for me. Today she's worried because I'm cuddling a lot. She wonders if this means I'm getting sick again. She keeps pinching my skin and begging me to drink more. She says I'm only just keeping myself above dehydration, and that with me being fed on hardly any dried food at all. She also says my temperature is going up and down more than she'd like. I think she's worrying too much about nothing. The rational part of her agrees a little bit, but she says she just can't forget how close she came to losing me forever. Losing me? How could I get lost in a cage!

The human says that for now, she's still going to keep a very close eye on me. Stupid Dogface is still in the vet, but is getting better too. The human went to her vet on Friday, but they didn't do anything for her at all. Maybe she didn't need it.

Tia is Home!

At last, it's really true!

I got a phone call from her vet today to say that finally, she'd passed the poo that they needed for the sample, and it looked normal. He told me I could come pick her up, and seemed a bit taken aback when I said "All right, I'll be there in the next ten minutes". I don't know why he was surprised. People want their furries back as soon as possible, after all.

I scooted off really quick in a taxi, and within the hour, I was reunited with my Tia! She wasn't very pleased to be stuck in her PTU, I can tell you that much. From the moment she was brought into the room, she set up an incessent meowing. Perhaps it was because she saw me, but perhaps just because she was tired of being cooped up and wanted to stretch. Whatever the reason though, it warmed my heart to hear the yowling. She didn't do any of that the last time I brought her home.

The vet has sent her home on an easy to digest prescription diet which she seems to quite like. He also said it was Ok to start her on dry again, but I'm going to reintroduce that slowly. He ordered me in a strong wormer, saying that even though we hadn't had the test results back yet to prove it was Giardia, like Molly, it wouldn't do Tia any harm to be treated for it proactively rather than reactively.

Speaking of Molly, her diarrhoea is described as uncontrollable, explosive and liquid... Boy am I glad she's in the right place! Even the nurses were struggling to keep her clean last night. The poor thing was so sick that she even pooed between when they took her from me and when she got to her kennel, a walk of all of about 30 metres. They said she looked really embarrassed when she did it too, because it was inside. They couldn't get samples for ages because it was so liquid, but they've managed it today, so Molly's will go off at the same time Tia's will. For now though, she's stable. She's keeping herself hydrated and she's nice and bright and her usual waggy self.

Tia meanwhile arrived home and almost burst from the carrier into my arms. She stayed there all of about two minutes before jumping down and going to inspect the house just to make sure nothing had changed. She didn't seem too impressed with the new smell of the clean carpets, and shortly afterward, she went for a pee in the clean litter box. I look at this as a good sign too. Tia, unlike some girls, doesn't spray when she's calling. She'll go and mark the inside of her box when the urge takes her. You might think this behaviour unusual, but many female cats spray just like males. The reason we don't see it all the time is because often, girls are content to do it in the litter. If I clean the tray or she's been away for a bit, the old healthy Tia will mark it as soon as she gets the chance. And that's exactly what she did today. I took this as yet another good sign.

I'm watching her closely. Her temperature's a bit hotter than I'd like, but then I'm not sure if this is because her tummmy's been shaved and I'm feeling her hotter than usual because there's no fur in the way. She seems happy enough though. I will keep a beady eye on her and hope we've seen the last of nasty Mr Bug for a while! The poo sample will go through a battery of general tests, so if there's anything in it, hopefully it'll be picked up. No doubt Tia will post all about the indignity of what the vets put her through when she's feeling up to it. Once again though, thank you all for supporting me and the furries all the way through this. We're not home and dry yet, but if Molly carries on the way she is, this bug will be beaten!

More Madness

Oh how I wish I could tell you that this terrible episode was all over, that I had Tia back home and snuggling with me. I don't. On her front though, it's relatively good news. She is continuing to improve, but just refuses to give them the poo samples they need to run the tests for Giardia and other nasties. They've kept her in to try.

In breaking news though, Molly has joined her furry friend in the ranks of those in the local animal hospital. I think I told you yesterday that I took her to the vet to be checked. Today though, things got worse.

I woke up to poo on my hall floor, and when I say poo, I mean poo. Liquid, loads of it, stinking and smelly just like Tia's. I cleaned it as best I could, but the consistency was so thin that it had soaked right down into the carpet. I took her downstairs to the grass, and honestly, if I hadn't known better, I'd have thought she was having a pee by the sound alone. That's how liquid this stuff was, and there was loads more. I began to worry then. This was too reminiscent of Tia.

I got myself and her ready and called a taxi to get to the vet. Problem. The taxi company wouldn't take her because of the risk that she'd poo in their car. I tried another and another until I'd run out of options, and not one would take her. I couldn't work her in this condition and because I've only recently moved here, I don't know anyone with a car who doesn't work and who would come at short notice to drive me.

I next tried the pet ambulance who will transport pets to the vet if needed. The earliest they could get here meant that she'd have to wait for eight hours. That was too long and I was too worried. I had no choices left, so I did a very stupid but necessary thing. I clipped on her lead and started to walk. I say stupid because firstly I only have the roughest of ideas where the vet is on foot and secondly because she was ill enough that I didn't want to stress her more, but I didn't know what else to do.

Luckily one of the drivers who regularly takes me saw me, stopped and drove me the rest of the way. I can't tell you how relieved I was.

When we got there, they examined Molly. Her temperature was normal thanks to me opening all doors and windows and putting the air conditioner on her while trying to get the ambulance to come, and she was hydrated because I'd sneaked a lot of water into a small feed I gave her. They were concerned though, and so was I. Based on what had happened to Tia, it was too much of a risk to take Molly home. Things could change too quickly, and quite apart from that, because I couldn't close her in anywhere, she was pooing all over the house which was a risk for me given that it takes time and a bit of luck to find it if she does it in my living room.

So they admitted her. I don't know how she's doing. I haven't heard anything all day. I'm going to phone in a moment.

I've had my carpets cleaned today too. Now that Molly's got it, I've come to the conclusion that it's a bug of some sort. Clowder may well be right with the observation on the water being the problem. There's another guide dog not too far away from me who's come down with something that sounds the same. I've boiled some in a pan to kill off any nasties, and tonight I'm going to order a delivery of lots of bottled stuff to get us through the next few weeks. I had the carpets cleaned to make sure that if the bug was shed from them, it wouldn't be lying dormant in the carpets waiting to reinfect.

So, my carpets are soaked and I am totally without animals. This lack of furries is weird. I've not been without one around for four years now. I keep thinking I need to take her out, then almost talking to her before I remember she's not here. I'm a little less worried about Molly. I got her in in good time, and she's a lot bigger than Tia. I'm not bringing her home until she is totally, totally better though. I will, as always, keep you posted.

Tia Today

I spoke with the vet this morning about Tia's progress, and thankfully, it's looking up. They didn't need to put her on fluids this time. She's eating and is maintaining her own hydration. Her temperature is also going down which is super news. I think they're still going to test for Giardia, and myself, my friend and Molly are all going to be treated for it just in case. The saga doesn't stop though.

This morning, Molly had a poo. Nothing unusual in that except that it was soft and runny. I was worried, but not overly. It's not unheard of for her to have runny poo. When I got to work though, she vomited. Now if there'd been something in her puke I'd have attributed it to her eating something she shouldn't have, but as it was nothing but liquid, just as Tia's was, I was now worried. To make matters worse, my clinical nurse manager, when he heard that I was showing some symptoms that hadn't cleared up yet, sent me home and told me not to come back. I can't go into work until two days after the last symptom has cleared, so that means that I'm off until Monday at the very earliest.

They had a look at Molly in the vets and thought that she was, on the whole, pretty Ok, but bearing in mind the signs and the similarity to Tia, I begged them to give me the Giardia treatment. As it's also a routine wormer and she was due one, they agreed because it won't do her any harm, and may well do some good. I have a doctor's appointment at 10 on Friday morning to have my own human treatment.

Tia, if all goes well, will come home tomorrow. I can't say that I'm not nervous about it. I'm terrified. She was home before and she was bad then. I don't know if I have the emotional energy to go through that again. This time though, if she comes home and sh'es fine, then gets bad when she's here, I'll be forced to accept that something in the house doesn't agree with her. What that something is though, I don't know. Please folks, fingers and paws crossed that she's on the way up now, that she's turned that corner for good. I don't want another turn!

I thought I knew about death. My grandad has died. So has my auntie, and I thought I had accepted the fact that my grandmother was going too. But I've fully realised now as an adult how brutal that gossamer touch is. That has drained me perhaps more than anything else. Molly's loss is different. I'll know that she's still alive, that I can still see her even if it isn't that often, and when she finally does leave this world, it won't be the same either. She won't have lived with me for a good long while. The loss will still hurt, but it won't be as acute. Tia really brought home to me just how hard it is going to be to deal with loss when it happens to someone you live with. It has changed my perspective on life in some way, a way I can't even define. I don't know what affect this will have, but I suspect that in the short term, it is going to make me live stronger, love harder and be even more thankful for even the small things I have. What does it matter when you haven't had a good day? At least your loved ones are still there to hear you say it. It really puts things into perspective.

I'm rambling and I know it. Let me finish by thanking you all again. From my mum who offered to put her lifetime experience of a year's travelling off to come home and be a shoulder to cry on, to every single one of you who have never even met me, but parted with hard earned money to support a furbaby you've only seen in pictures and words. Isn't it incredible that a life was saved by people who'd never even met her? That blows me away when I think of it. Words do not do me justice here. I can't find the right ones. Know however that you have saved me from, well, from I don't really know what, but it felt like I was on an emotional edge. If I'd fallen over, I don't know how long it would have taken me to come back. You gave me more than money, more than well wishes and support. You gave me the strength not to fall over the lip. You cannot put a price on that, and I won't cheapen the incredible gift by trying inadequate words. Let me simply say a heart felt thank you.

Next in the Saga

I'm sorry to have to report that Tia is once more back in the vet. Thanks to all of your donations and some absolutely super help and luck that I can only imagine was facilitated from above, I should now be able to have her treated, within reason, until she is better. If it wasn't for you all, I wouldn't have even been able to consider taking her back.

All day today, Tia has been ill. I continued with the force-feeding of fluids which, bless her, she put up with. She was unhappy, but not once did she bite or smack me, and I had to get my fingers right in on her teeth to feel where to put the syringe. She took it all and still purred for me whenever I came to her. She didn't like to be held though, and seemed extremely uncomfortable. Her temperature went high, then low after I'd opened all available windows, then right back up again. She hadn't pooed until 3 in the afternoon, but when she went, it was, if possible, even worse than before. It was pure liquid, and there was loads of it. The poor thing was covered in it, her tail, her back legs, her bum. When I was cleaning her, she growled at me, and then again, and again every time I touched her. Now this doesn't sound like much, but this cat has never, ever even come close to growling at anyone, let alone me. As soon as she'd finished each growling session, she went right back to purring, and it was a loud, constant one, which sounded a little different to normal. Now perhaps I'm imagining this, I don't know, but it sounded different to me. I know cats can often pur when they're very sick, so I didn't wait around. I took her straight back.

They have admitted her once more. Her temperature was above 104 yet again, and this even though she's had most of the fur on her belly shaved away for scans and has been having fluids every hour. I shudder to think what would have happened if my boss hadn't given me the time off work. It still wasn't enough for her to cool herself. They still don't know what's wrong, but they are now suspecting that it could be Giardia or another bug type thing that I think sounds something like bacaloria. I know that's not the name, but I was so worried that it went right past me. There is a possibility that it could be Giardia. Dogman could have picked it up, and so could I. Both of us have had bad tummies, really bad, in fact, and his shows all of the typical symptoms of Giardia. Even mine does to an extent. It's possible Molly could have picked it up somewhere when she was at the vets, and the incubation period would be about right for us all to have come down with it. We just don't know.

So she's in again. They are going to do all manner of tests on her and I hope and pray that this time, something is conclusive. At least then we will have something to treat. It's amazing how fast they can get sick. It took her no time at all, really.

As soon as I have news, I'll make sure to post here. Once again, thank you so much to you all, both for support and donations. I can't tell you how much it means at a time like this to know people care.

How do I Say Thank You?

I wasn't expecting a response like this, I truely wasn't. I don't have words to thank you enough. For all the suggestions and the donations, I really don't know what to say. Already you have given me £120, and that's 1/7 of the bill paid and the button hasn't been up all that long. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Tia's temperature is rising again this morning. I am force feeding her fluids which she doesn't like at all. I mixed some with her food this morning, but she refused to eat, and I'm not sure whether this is because it has fluid in it or because she doesn't want food any more. I just don't know. They want to see her back in the vet tomorrow unless something goes seriously wrong in the meantime. I have taken today off work and will continue to force feed. I just hope her temperature stays down. The longer she's out, the more chance there is through friends and family that I will have enough to cover her costs when she needs to go back. Thanks to Clowder I have found a charity in the UK who may be able to help a little. I'm going to call them as soon as they open this morning, so will keep you posted.

Tia doesn't want to be held by anyone. She will lie by me, but not for long, and as soon as I try to pick her up, she's off. I don't know whether it's because she's sore or uncomfortable or what. She hasn't pooed yet, which, believe it or not, is a worry in itself.

I'm going to put the Paypal button at the bottom of this post again in hopes that things keep going the way they have. Once again, thank you all from the bottom of my heart. This could well make the difference in whether she can stay with us or not. Thank you.

A Tia Update

Ok folks, a human update, and it's going to be quick as I'm emotionally wrung out.

Earlier today, I took Tia home from the vets, but this wasn't the glorious news I'd been hoping for. The reason I took her was because I couldn't afford to keep her there any longer, despite them telling me that it would be more benificial to her. In one night alone, Tia ran up a bill of £796, and I don't know how I'm going to pay that one, let alone any further ones incurred. The vets were worried as to how well she'd do at home, as we don't know the reason still why her tummy got like this in the first place. All of the tests came up inconclusive.

So I'm doing what I can for her. I have her on an exclusively wet food diet, and with a bit of coaxing, she's begun to eat again. I am syringe feeding her every hour, but I don't know how long I can keep this up with work and everything else. I have electrolites, antibiotics and apetite stimulants for her, so I just gotta hope that they work.

I'm worried that they won't though, and in any case, the vet needs to see her again in two days to check her progress. If she still has runny poo, the next stage will be to biopsy her. If that needs doing, I simply can't afford to pay it. I wrote to ML to see if she knew of any charities that could help out, and she referred me straight back to the super CB. I have created what I think is a working Paypal button which I'm going to post hereon the off-chance that someone can help. I don't do begging posts well. It's not what I do. Please feel no pressure at all to donate. Your support is more than I could ask for. It's there just in case, is all. I'm not too proud to ask when the life of my Tia is at stake.

That's all from me tonight. I'll write more tomorrow if I have the energy to after tonight's wrangling with a cat who really doesn't like water being dribbled down her throat. Thanks so much for stopping by to comment. Carly

A Really Scary Halloween

Once again I must apologise for the human's inability to post for me on a regular basis, but this time, she had a good reason. Well not initially I suppose, but the story will unfold.

Dogman came as I told you he would. Thursday was a normal day, but on Friday, the human stayed home from the work hunt. She said she needed to go buy a wardrobe, as the cheap, flimsy one she had collapsed on Dogman's head when he was sleeping on Thursday evening. Well, that's karma. If he'd been Catman instead of Dogman, the wardrobe wouldn't have attacked him!

I felt a bit funny on Friday morning, but I didn't say anything. Believe it or not, I don't want a big fuss made of me when I was sick. There was something wrong with my tummy. When I went in my box to do the do, it was like doing a pee-pee instead, and my yummy tummy was all crampy and sore. I didn't make a big deal though. This happens now and again, and it always goes away.

The human and Dogman went away and were gone for a long time, looking at furniture, they said. While they were gone, I got into real big trouble. My tummy wasn't getting better. In fact, the yucky stuff just kept coming. I made it to the bathroom, but I just couldn't pull myself into the tray on time. I'm ashamed to admit that I had to poo on the floor, and because it was so liquid, it got all over my feet. I cleaned them on the carpet and the blankets on the sofas as best I could, but there was still an awful lot of it left on my fur.

When the human came back, she saw this right away, but, like me, she thought It was a transitory thing and would clear up. She gave me plenty of good food and lots of water and closed me in the bathroom. I didn't like this much. I cried lal night long. I shouted at her. I scratched the door, but she just wouldn't listen. She said she needed to monitor me, and she coldn't do that if I was pooping all over the house cuz she wouldn't find it.

I needed a bath the next day because I just couldn't clean all of the yuck off myself. It was too disgusting! I was still shouting and cuddling the human and being my usual self, so she thought things had gotten back to normal. On Saturday, her and Dogman built a wardrobe and I snoopervised from the back of the sofa. I kept climbing on the human whenever she came close enough for me to do it, and I wasn't feeling too bad.

Dogman left later that evening, and the human went to see some friends. It was during the time that she was out that I really started to feel terrible. When she came back, I didn't even miaow at her to ask her where she'd been, but as she'd left in a hurry, she thought I was just ignoring her. I purred hard when she picked me up, but when it came bed time, I hid under the bed for the first and last part of the night instead of sleeping with her.

The morning found me under the bed again, and now the human was getting worried. She decided to watch me closely that day. I had a bad tummy in the morning, but then nothing else. Now I didn't want food though, and although I was drinking, I still felt really thirsty. Late in the afternoon, I crawled off her lap, plopped onto the floor and vomited the most horrid tasting stuff that's ever been in my mouth. I couldn't face any more after that and went and hid behind the sofa. The human found me crouching there, doing nothing at all. It was at that point that she took me to the vet peoples.

It wasn't our nice man vet, but to be honest with you, I didn't care. I didn't really care about anything any more. I just wanted to not be sick. They examined me, and I'm ashamed to admit that when they felt my tummy, more nasty liquid almost came out of me. It was just so hard to hold in when they were pushing. They said words like dehydration, life-threateningly high temperature, inability to eat, but I didn't even try and understand them. The human got very upset. They said that I would have to stay in cat hospital for the night. They needed to give me what they call IV fluids to save my life.

I wish I could tell you that I didn't want to be parted from the human. It would be the right thing to feel, but I just didn't have the energy to be sad. She made up for it for both of us though. I've never seen her eyes so runny. They took me from her and put me in a funny smelling thing that looks like one of the pens I sit in when I am showing my yummy tummy to judges and winning prizes. I just curled up. They put a sharp, uncomfortable thing in my leg, and that soon got very cold. The nurse said that was because the IV fluids needed to be cool to bring my temperature down. She cuddled me and told me I'd be better soon. There was medicine in there to stop me throwing up and having a yucky feeling in my tummy. I just wanted to go home.

I am still at the cat hospital, and they are still making my leg cold. I have had a little food, and am feeling slightly better. I just want to go home though.

Human note: We really did almost lose Tia last night, and we're still not out of the woods. She has eaten and her temperature is coming down, but the vets are worried about what will happen when they take her off fluids and let her body fend for itself. We don't know the cause, you see. They are running bloods to see if it's viral, but we just don't know. Actually, we do. I've had a call back from the vet. There is no viral infection, nothing to indicate what is going on. They are going to do a full absominal scan on her to see if they can find any internal cause. Apparently she hasn't eaten, and nor will she. I am really worried now. I just want her back. I've authorised the scan, but this is really adding to the bill. We're looking at about £500 already, and I have absolutely no idea where I'm going to find that cash, but find it I will. Please, please keep fingers crossed for her. I need some positive news. I need this not to be something life threatening. With losing Molly in a few weeks, I just can't go through losing my cat as well. I don't know if I have the strength for it.